monthly support from fiance

[Fandango 1,440]

Seems that it's always the happy rainbow crowd who wants the other side to not be allowed to speak, or to jump on them if they do give their opinion. Sorry....life isn't always nice. If I think someone is doing something nasty - like marrying someone for money or a visa - I'm gonna bloody say so. If I'm wrong, I'll apologize.

AS usual, I agree with you Lisa

Actually, that was me. LOL

I KNEW using Lisa's picture would cause confusion.....

Hahhaha, well you agreed with me and she agreed with you, therefore she agrees with me too :P

and nice usage of the pic...I it!

[Melo 1]

Well, the fact is that unless we are asked for information to do something illegal - we cannot presume that the relationship is a fraud. Like I said the USCIS is the competent authority... and they are the ones that have to be convinced that a relationship is genuine. If they are convinced - then your judgements mean nothing. All they do am afraid is to humiliate the person at the recieving end... and it achieves nothing other than to give you a feeling of self-righteous satisfaction.

[Fandango 1,440]

Well, the fact is that unless we are asked for information to do something illegal - we cannot presume that the relationship is a fraud. Like I said the USCIS is the competent authority... and they are the ones that have to be convinced that a relationship is genuine. If they are convinced - then your judgements mean nothing. All they do am afraid is to humiliate the person at the recieving end... and it achieves nothing other than to give you a feeling of self-righteous satisfaction.

Just because USCIS is the 'authority' does not mean I can't form my own opinions.

Melo, I appreciate your opinion & I acknowledge your right to have one despite the fact that I disagree with it...it just would be nice if you could do the same.

Since you seem to be against forming judgements...why judge me? Why assume that it gives me 'nothing more than a feeling of self-righteous satisfaction'? You don't know me, you don't know what my opinions give me. While you're preaching 'no judgements' perhaps you should keep that in mind while you tell me I'm full of chit

[Melo 1]

I am not telling you are full of ######... I am saying you come across as judgemental... and this is not the first time I have observed this. You were not so harshly opinionated when you first came here... now you are... it seems almost as if you enjoy being so harsh... I have said nothing before... but am saying it now... when you first came here you could be sweet, funny, supportive and caring... now you seem to do precious little except be harsh... and this is not the Lisa that I really liked. I am sorry that I came across as judgemental... and yes it was judgemental... and I apologize for that.

[Fandango 1,440]

I am not telling you are full of ######... I am saying you come across as judgemental... and this is not the first time I have observed this. You were not so harshly opinionated when you first came here... now you are... it seems almost as if you enjoy being so harsh... I have said nothing before... but am saying it now... when you first came here you could be sweet, funny, supportive and caring... now you seem to do precious little except be harsh... and this is not the Lisa that I really liked. I am sorry that I came across as judgemental... and yes it was judgemental... and I apologize for that.

I think it's so ironic that you're sitting here giving me an armchair diagnosis & implying that I like being harsh & therefore causing pain (the latter I inferred from your implications), yet you end this with 'I'm sorry I (previously) came across as judgemental.' Don't hide behind an apology that you obviously don't mean! Cos with the use of 'came' as in past tense...you're obviously referring to your previous post, and not the present one in which you judged me to no end. So how sincere is this apology if you apologise in one breath, and then judge me with the next? You are basically sat here telling me I shouldn't voice my opinion in a manner in which I see fit because it's a bit negative, yet look at your posts to me. How'd that justification in your head go? Now, I'm not sitting here crying about it at all - your opinion is your opinion. But don't use selective rules which you can sometimes follow and sometimes not. You tell me don't be judgemental? Well how about you following your own advice? No, you didn't say I was full of chit, that was just a flippant comment made to sum up the situation, and yeah I coulda chose a better way to say it. But you are telling me I shouldn't voice my opinion, yet you freely voice yours. Hrmmm...

I am a supportive person, Melo...but that doesn't mean I have to offer support to every single person despite how I feel. I'm not a support machine - drop in a quarter and you all get the same treatment. I don't revel in being 'harsh' but I do revel in being REAL. And if that's too much for you, there's a lil button called 'ignore'!

If being fake and biting my tongue is going to get people to like me more, oh well..it's not a popularity contest here & if that's what some are looking for, they're going to be quite dissatisfied with me. If someone's not going to like my tell it like it is mentality, well so be it! I think the people here who I am friends with appreciate my frank nature becuase they know that when I say summat supportive and sweet..I mean it! How valued is a supportive statement when you hand them out like jellybeans at Easter?

And if you think I do precious little other than being harsh, you have been paying attn to the wrong posts. I'm not here to defend myself, Melo....if you don't like the way I come across, that's for you to deal with. I can disagree with you on this point, but at the end of the day, you are free to make your own decisions!

Now we can rehash this six ways from Sunday, but the end result will be the same. And I am holed up in my room today due to a bum leg so I have allll the time in the world today. But we're only going to be paraphrasing the same old hashed out nonsense...you think I'm judgemental, you think I should not be harsh, I think you're a hypocrite, and I don't care whether you like me or not. So it's up to you as far as how you want to handle this...by either beating this dead horse into the ground, or just accepting that I have a difference of opinion, and leave it at that!

[PlatyPius 5]

*Buys an official LisaD Fan Club T-Shirt*

"Could you autograph it, please?"

[mary&tom 0]

I think ironing is rather silly and a waste of time, but Sian INSISTS on jeans, sheets, etc being ironed. Told her it wasn't a problem as long as she never, EVER irons my jeans or shirts. What is up with England anyway? Are there any people left in US who actually iron anything? Has the UK never heard of Permanent Press? ROFL!!!

Oh, and I do all of the cooking. C'mon.....she's British! I don't want to eat boiled stuff every day. LMFAO!

I know! I was shocked when Tom insisted on buying an iron. I tried to talk him out of it but when that didnt work I helped him pick out a nice one.. .and let him know I will never use it! lol

Jeans and sheets? eek!

Actually I think one of the problems is lack of closet space in England... too many of the clothes are smashed into drawers instead of hung nicely. Most of my clothes have never been folded.. I always take them out of the dryer before they are fully dry.. and smooth them with my hands as I hang them. Thats another thing.. most people there hang their clothes out on a clothesline to dry which also is not conducive to wrinkle free clothing.

I do hope that once I am living there in the UK I will be able to keep my clothes from getting too wrinkled. But even if they do... I am not ironing! An iron is for pressing open the seams if you do home sewing which I have done.

Ironing permanent press things will ruin the permanent press so that you would have to iron the item foreveer after that.

As for food... boiled? I lived there in the UK for six month with Tom this past winter and the only thing he boiled was pasta. He is an excellent cook. He has prepared curries and pastas that surpass any fine restaurant meal I have ever had.

So.. I have made it to page 16 of this thread and this was the post I chose to respond to.. lol! Thread hijacking....

Good thing this is the Off Topic forum....

mary

[munchkins 0]

So.. I have made it to page 16 of this thread and this was the post I chose to respond to.. lol! Thread hijacking....

Good on you Mary and I am going to find it difficult NOT to do the ironing but what the hell, I am sure I will cope

[Fandango 1,440]

*Buys an official LisaD Fan Club T-Shirt*

"Could you autograph it, please?"

Mary, funnily enough I ironing...but I had no clue about the permanant press thing

[john_and_marlene 162]

So often I see posts from those that think there is some unwritten rule that when you log in to VJ, everyone is going to agree with you and tell you how wonderful you are. Who made the rule that I have to agree with anyone and I can't point out an obvious scammer? I'd rather be blunt and accurate and helpful than spending my post time spewing insincere sweet support for every situation.

Which is more supportive?

Post: I'm starving and cold.

Reply 1: I'm sure everthing is going to be just fine. I wish you luck.

Reply 2: Get off your lazy butt and get a job and buy some food and a coat.

[mary&tom 0]

So.. I have made it to page 16 of this thread and this was the post I chose to respond to.. lol! Thread hijacking....

Good on you Mary and I am going to find it difficult NOT to do the ironing but what the hell, I am sure I will cope

Hey we do have irons here in the USA that work with the electricity here

You can iron if you really really want to! It's not forbidden But why anyone would want to is beyond me. Think of the electricity you will save

The trick really is to not overfill the washing machine (I will miss my big top loader) and to remove clothing from the dryer before its dry and hang it. Only things like underwear, socks, sheets, towels etc get dried all the way. Items that are not meant to be put in the dryer can go in for five minutes or so and then hung. You just have to remember to take them out on time. I suppose all the time I save by not ironing is spent on the washing and drying process. My machines are in the basement here so I get plenty of exercise running up and down the stairs! I suppose that there I will have to learn to hang some things out on the line.. like towels.... but there is no way my underwear is going to be out there flapping in the breeze! I am too old to change ALL my ways!

mary

[mary&tom 0]

Mary, funnily enough I ironing...but I had no clue about the permanant press thing

So you really cannot buy permanent press shirts there? Oh no! That will be a problem. Tom might have to iron! Maybe that is why he wanted an iron. He bought it after I came back here because he had to wear a buttoned shirt to something. I had only seen him in tshirts and sweatshirts the whole time I was there, and I was the same. We like to be comfy.

Permanent press is a treatment to the garment so that it will release wrinkles when put in the dryer. It won't work if you hang it on a clothesline and ironing will destroy the finish so that in the future it will wrinkle. Its done on dress shirts and blouses and skirts and trousers (see I said "trousers" not "pants".. lol ). There are so many things the UK doesn't have that I have always taken for granted... like window screens and storm doors.

So many adjustments.... even in a UK-USA or USA-UK move. ...and don't even get me started on the food differences... the products I can't get there and the products he couldn' find when he was here. Some things we learn to do without. There are trade offs in every situation.

but... Breyers Ice Cream and munster cheese... sigh.....

mary

[Fandango 1,440]

Mary, funnily enough I ironing...but I had no clue about the permanant press thing

So you really cannot buy permanent press shirts there? Oh no! That will be a problem. Tom might have to iron! Maybe that is why he wanted an iron. He bought it after I came back here because he had to wear a buttoned shirt to something. I had only seen him in tshirts and sweatshirts the whole time I was there, and I was the same. We like to be comfy.

Permanent press is a treatment to the garment so that it will release wrinkles when put in the dryer. It won't work if you hang it on a clothesline and ironing will destroy the finish so that in the future it will wrinkle. Its done on dress shirts and blouses and skirts and trousers (see I said "trousers" not "pants".. lol ). There are so many things the UK doesn't have that I have always taken for granted... like window screens and storm doors.

So many adjustments.... even in a UK-USA or USA-UK move. ...and don't even get me started on the food differences... the products I can't get there and the products he couldn' find when he was here. Some things we learn to do without. There are trade offs in every situation.

but... Breyers Ice Cream and munster cheese... sigh.....

mary

A lot of the clothes I have bought are dry clean only so usually...if it's not dry clean only, I wash and iron it, lol. I've never paid attn to 'perma press' But now I know differently!

[mary&tom 0]

A lot of the clothes I have bought are dry clean only so usually...if it's not dry clean only, I wash and iron it, lol. I've never paid attn to 'perma press' But now I know differently!

eek... I did notice when I tried to shop in the UK that so much was dry clean only. I will have a problem as I have refused to ever buy anything that has to be dry cleaned. Oh dear... I think I will just bring a lifetime supply of clothing with me. I really didn't have any luck clothes shopping there except for coats and socks and shoes. I hope I can have better luck once I am living there. Haven't been to Bluewater yet.....

mary

[Fandango 1,440]

A lot of the clothes I have bought are dry clean only so usually...if it's not dry clean only, I wash and iron it, lol. I've never paid attn to 'perma press' But now I know differently!

eek... I did notice when I tried to shop in the UK that so much was dry clean only. I will have a problem as I have refused to ever buy anything that has to be dry cleaned. Oh dear... I think I will just bring a lifetime supply of clothing with me. I really didn't have any luck clothes shopping there except for coats and socks and shoes. I hope I can have better luck once I am living there. Haven't been to Bluewater yet.....

mary

I've even tried those home dry cleaning kits, and sadly they never worked for me...but unfortunately most of my work clothes are dry clean only. Then I found this dry cleaner that seemed pretty good, and cheap too! $1.99 per garment. And that was fine, really....but it was like so far from my house, that I usually went once a month with a pile of clothes, and never got around to picking them up for about a month.

Anyways, I go pick them up one day, and I notice they're missing an item of mine. So I'm like 'where is my blouse?' and after much stalling and 'i dunnos' she goes

'your shirt...go BOOM!'

I'm like 'how can a shirt go boom?' so they get the mgr on the phone, and it turns out there was supposedly a fire and my shirt was one of the casulaties. Really pizzed me off

So now I'm stuck with the local dry cleaner who charges an arm and a leg