monthly support from fiance

[KarenCee 3]

Thankfully my "career" allows me to be at home with our daughter when she's home...and my income adds an element of quality that means the difference in making it and struggling.

[Veiled Princess 1]

Thankfully my "career" allows me to be at home with our daughter when she's home...and my income adds an element of quality that means the difference in making it and struggling.

I totally understand. I'm not bashing wives/mothers who work outside the home... I am a working mother now although I plan to work only during school hours once my husband and I are reunited.... I'm just saying it's my opinion that it's better for my family to have me home with them.

[R&W 5]

SO WHAT? I'M HAPPY! Belat kayo : )

You're just an impossible girl. But maybe snz1802 and Iniibig ko si Luz forever are right. But if you really read between the lines of the original question... for me (At least for me).. no doubt it's a red flag.

With me, my husband actually asked me to resign two months before our wedding for me to take care full-time of our wedding plan. He then started to send me financial assitance.

I am proud of people who are hardworking because I'm sure there's a grand prize after all.

To aix, I hope you're learning on this forum. I also hope that somehow we will learn to promote professionalism on how we write and how we say words. Always remember that on this kind of international forum, we carry our nation's flag. Please be careful. Thanks.

[MrMrsKnight 0]

hi everyone, just want to ask if it's ok to ask for monthly support from your fiance or just wait for him to send voluntarily? or just wait for him to realize it's a responsibility or is it a responsibility really for a fiance to give monthly support? - aix

I don't want to blame anyone or protect anyone.... but I just want to highlight that she said it was a responsibility but then actually asked if it was.... so MAYBE her intentions are not as bas as everyone thinks and she's just confused.

Again, I think this should be decided between them and not in a public forum...

Comunication comes first in a relationship so if you're so close that you have courage to ask for money, then you should have enough courage to bring this kind of conversation up. That's just my opinion though...

[Mandi+Ryan 1]

hi everyone, just want to ask if it's ok to ask for monthly support from your fiance or just wait for him to send voluntarily? or just wait for him to realize it's a responsibility or is it a responsibility really for a fiance to give monthly support? - aix

I, the USC, am paying for a big chunk of the visa process. My fiancé has a job, you work hard for money in India and hardly ever have anything to show for it. So, I send money to him if he needs it.

[PlatyPius 5]

"They" always say that money can't buy happiness. I'd like for them to say that when they haven't eaten for two days and that's what's making you unhappy.

Not saying that I was poor growing up.... just saying that I got accustomed to "Bread Sandwiches", and got one every day or so.

[Melo 1]

Very quickly I'm going to explain why I feel the way I do.

No one here can deny that the Phillipines is a high-fraud visa country. We all know the scenario all too well...ususally it's an older man with a younger gorgeous Phillipino woman. Does that mean they're all fraud? No, of course not...but you cannot deny that there are many who are. I applaud the couples here who have discussed money & how each wants the marriage to be structured. I have no problems with those who want a 'traditional' marriage if both are on board with it. Live Love and Be Happy and Blessed!

But to me, someone who joined the site less than a month after 'meeting' online, a sceanario where the man is older, a scenario where it's clear the couple doesn't have enough communication skills to discuss things like money, support, etc...one that appears that the second he stepped on the plane to go home, she was on here wondering about support....looks dodgy. So I said so. Harsh? absolutely! Could I be wrong? I'm sure that's a possibility! But at the end of the day, that's the way I see it & we've seen the scenario so many times here....I think it smells fishy and dodgy to no end. To assume that every couple here has the best of intentions is short sighted & just cos I am a member here does not mean I have to offer support despite the way I feel.

I understand the tendency to want to defend this relationship where you are engaged to someone from the same country...but not all unions are created equal.

Lisa I wish to say something here... sure the Phillipines is a high-fraud country... and am quite sure that the USCIS is aware of that... I think they scrutinise every visa application... and considering they would have more facts on which to base their judgement, don't you think it could be left to them to decide whether yes or no as far as this or any couple is concerned?

My first reaction to that post was huh??? But hang on... who am I to sit in judgemwnt? Do I know all the facts??? Do I know what the Filipino culture is all about??? Do I know how this couple interact??? I don't.

And if you can base your judgement on a poorly constructed question (which seems like she was trying to find out whether it is considered a responsibility or not - for her culture is very different from the American culture) and be so brutally judgemental - then there is really nothing left to say... I do believe you said you believe in god... then let me (the athiest) quote something to you from your scriptures...

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"

"Do not judge lest you be judged. For with what judgement you judge, you will be judged and with what measure you mete, it shall be measured to you again"

[LuzyC 0]

Thanks for that Sis ..

Very quickly I'm going to explain why I feel the way I do.

No one here can deny that the Phillipines is a high-fraud visa country. We all know the scenario all too well...ususally it's an older man with a younger gorgeous Phillipino woman. Does that mean they're all fraud? No, of course not...but you cannot deny that there are many who are. I applaud the couples here who have discussed money & how each wants the marriage to be structured. I have no problems with those who want a 'traditional' marriage if both are on board with it. Live Love and Be Happy and Blessed!

But to me, someone who joined the site less than a month after 'meeting' online, a sceanario where the man is older, a scenario where it's clear the couple doesn't have enough communication skills to discuss things like money, support, etc...one that appears that the second he stepped on the plane to go home, she was on here wondering about support....looks dodgy. So I said so. Harsh? absolutely! Could I be wrong? I'm sure that's a possibility! But at the end of the day, that's the way I see it & we've seen the scenario so many times here....I think it smells fishy and dodgy to no end. To assume that every couple here has the best of intentions is short sighted & just cos I am a member here does not mean I have to offer support despite the way I feel.

I understand the tendency to want to defend this relationship where you are engaged to someone from the same country...but not all unions are created equal.

Lisa I wish to say something here... sure the Phillipines is a high-fraud country... and am quite sure that the USCIS is aware of that... I think they scrutinise every visa application... and considering they would have more facts on which to base their judgement, don't you think it could be left to them to decide whether yes or no as far as this or any couple is concerned?

My first reaction to that post was huh??? But hang on... who am I to sit in judgemwnt? Do I know all the facts??? Do I know what the Filipino culture is all about??? Do I know how this couple interact??? I don't.

And if you can base your judgement on a poorly constructed question (which seems like she was trying to find out whether it is considered a responsibility or not - for her culture is very different from the American culture) and be so brutally judgemental - then there is really nothing left to say... I do believe you said you believe in god... then let me (the athiest) quote something to you from your scriptures...

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"

"Do not judge lest you be judged. For with what judgement you judge, you will be judged and with what measure you mete, it shall be measured to you again"

Thanks for your sweet thoughts about Us Melo..

[ellmoi 0]

Very quickly I'm going to explain why I feel the way I do.

No one here can deny that the Phillipines is a high-fraud visa country. We all know the scenario all too well...ususally it's an older man with a younger gorgeous Phillipino woman. Does that mean they're all fraud? No, of course not...but you cannot deny that there are many who are. I applaud the couples here who have discussed money & how each wants the marriage to be structured. I have no problems with those who want a 'traditional' marriage if both are on board with it. Live Love and Be Happy and Blessed!

But to me, someone who joined the site less than a month after 'meeting' online, a sceanario where the man is older, a scenario where it's clear the couple doesn't have enough communication skills to discuss things like money, support, etc...one that appears that the second he stepped on the plane to go home, she was on here wondering about support....looks dodgy. So I said so. Harsh? absolutely! Could I be wrong? I'm sure that's a possibility! But at the end of the day, that's the way I see it & we've seen the scenario so many times here....I think it smells fishy and dodgy to no end. To assume that every couple here has the best of intentions is short sighted & just cos I am a member here does not mean I have to offer support despite the way I feel.

I understand the tendency to want to defend this relationship where you are engaged to someone from the same country...but not all unions are created equal.

Lisa I wish to say something here... sure the Phillipines is a high-fraud country... and am quite sure that the USCIS is aware of that... I think they scrutinise every visa application... and considering they would have more facts on which to base their judgement, don't you think it could be left to them to decide whether yes or no as far as this or any couple is concerned?

My first reaction to that post was huh??? But hang on... who am I to sit in judgemwnt? Do I know all the facts??? Do I know what the Filipino culture is all about??? Do I know how this couple interact??? I don't.

And if you can base your judgement on a poorly constructed question (which seems like she was trying to find out whether it is considered a responsibility or not - for her culture is very different from the American culture) and be so brutally judgemental - then there is really nothing left to say... I do believe you said you believe in god... then let me (the athiest) quote something to you from your scriptures...

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"

"Do not judge lest you be judged. For with what judgement you judge, you will be judged and with what measure you mete, it shall be measured to you again"

kool thanks melo

[CarolineM 0]

Thankfully my "career" allows me to be at home with our daughter when she's home...and my income adds an element of quality that means the difference in making it and struggling.

I went to school for so many years, and got my education so that I COULD work...do I want to be a mom? yes!! But we aren't fortunate enough to live on only one income with kids! Anyway I would want to work. I know that being a mom is a full time job and is VERY challenging, but I would still want to work..i'm too proud of my own education to rely on a man.

[Fandango 1,440]

Very quickly I'm going to explain why I feel the way I do.

No one here can deny that the Phillipines is a high-fraud visa country. We all know the scenario all too well...ususally it's an older man with a younger gorgeous Phillipino woman. Does that mean they're all fraud? No, of course not...but you cannot deny that there are many who are. I applaud the couples here who have discussed money & how each wants the marriage to be structured. I have no problems with those who want a 'traditional' marriage if both are on board with it. Live Love and Be Happy and Blessed!

But to me, someone who joined the site less than a month after 'meeting' online, a sceanario where the man is older, a scenario where it's clear the couple doesn't have enough communication skills to discuss things like money, support, etc...one that appears that the second he stepped on the plane to go home, she was on here wondering about support....looks dodgy. So I said so. Harsh? absolutely! Could I be wrong? I'm sure that's a possibility! But at the end of the day, that's the way I see it & we've seen the scenario so many times here....I think it smells fishy and dodgy to no end. To assume that every couple here has the best of intentions is short sighted & just cos I am a member here does not mean I have to offer support despite the way I feel.

I understand the tendency to want to defend this relationship where you are engaged to someone from the same country...but not all unions are created equal.

Lisa I wish to say something here... sure the Phillipines is a high-fraud country... and am quite sure that the USCIS is aware of that... I think they scrutinise every visa application... and considering they would have more facts on which to base their judgement, don't you think it could be left to them to decide whether yes or no as far as this or any couple is concerned?

My first reaction to that post was huh??? But hang on... who am I to sit in judgemwnt? Do I know all the facts??? Do I know what the Filipino culture is all about??? Do I know how this couple interact??? I don't.

And if you can base your judgement on a poorly constructed question (which seems like she was trying to find out whether it is considered a responsibility or not - for her culture is very different from the American culture) and be so brutally judgemental - then there is really nothing left to say... I do believe you said you believe in god... then let me (the athiest) quote something to you from your scriptures...

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"

"Do not judge lest you be judged. For with what judgement you judge, you will be judged and with what measure you mete, it shall be measured to you again"

If we at vj are not more discerning, this place will become a haven for every fraudulent relationship on the planet. Yes, there are already relationships here that are such, but the majority are not. And the ones that are here don't seem to put out such a 'red flag' so early on as this one has to me. You may feel it's not our place to judge, but we judge everything in life....form opinions on things with the information we're given.

We've all seen the posts that seem a little dodgy & I've seen the refusal of others to give information based on the facts that were given and the point that the relationship looks fake. I've seen these posts before and haven't commented as forcefully as I have here, but to me this one reeked as being so BLATANT that I couldn't stomach not saying anything.

If the OP wanted to know what is customary and what her fiancee is willing to do...here's a thought...ASK HIM. Do I know all the facts? No I don't. I'm going on what was presented. And based on those facts, I think this USC fiance is quite probably being taken for a ride. And that makes me a bit angry. OP had plenty of time with her fiance stood in front of her to discuss things like support, etc...and instead chose to come here after he left. Two people have just committed to spend their lives together, and she can't ask him a question? You yourself said it...you said 'huh??' Well again, joining this site less than a month after meeting online seems odd. Then it seems odd that the fiance was there, they got officially engaged, and yet did not speak of support,etc. I have NO PROBLEM with fiance support...I mean after all, you're engaged to someone, and they are in a bit of a bind, so you help them out. But the fact that it's here on what seems to be so quickly after the USC's departure, makes it seem TO ME that it's quite premeditated.

The beauty about our relationships as a whole is that we spend a lot more time talking and sharing and getting to know each other than do most 'normal' couples. We don't have the distractions of going here there and everywhere. Dates are on the fone, messenger, etc. My mom once said to me 'I think you and David have spent more time talking than me and Dad' lol. So in allllll the time spent spending time with each other, the OP couldn't ever broach the subject? Come on now!

It also pizzes me off because I feel it weakens the credibility of other relationships....puts a stigma such as 'high fraud country' so the legitimate ones unfortunately have to go into their union with it attached to it like 'prove above and beyond that you're legit'. Now while we ALL have to prove that we're legit to the eyes of the gov't....others here have to prove it to everyone even moreso than usual. And furthermore, that's why so many couples are waiting soooo long to be reunited...because fraudsters have mucked up the system. You want to tell me that the gov't investigates a US/Phil the same way they do a US/UK union?

And that pizzes me off for my friends here who will have to go thru extra chit because of it. It also really upsets me to think that someone is thinking he's engaged and totally in lurve, yet his fiance is online asking about fiance support to a bunch of strangers while he's on his way home. He's being taken for a mug. So while I appreciate you giving me your opinion...and it's a very nice one at that...I'm going to have to respectfully disagree with you here. Yes, my opinion is harsh & not all fluffy clouds and rainbows & yes, I have reacted strongly, and YES if I am proven otherwise, I will offer my most heartfelt apologies...but at the end of the day, this is how I feel...so I said so.

[PlatyPius 5]

Very quickly I'm going to explain why I feel the way I do.

No one here can deny that the Phillipines is a high-fraud visa country. We all know the scenario all too well...ususally it's an older man with a younger gorgeous Phillipino woman. Does that mean they're all fraud? No, of course not...but you cannot deny that there are many who are. I applaud the couples here who have discussed money & how each wants the marriage to be structured. I have no problems with those who want a 'traditional' marriage if both are on board with it. Live Love and Be Happy and Blessed!

But to me, someone who joined the site less than a month after 'meeting' online, a sceanario where the man is older, a scenario where it's clear the couple doesn't have enough communication skills to discuss things like money, support, etc...one that appears that the second he stepped on the plane to go home, she was on here wondering about support....looks dodgy. So I said so. Harsh? absolutely! Could I be wrong? I'm sure that's a possibility! But at the end of the day, that's the way I see it & we've seen the scenario so many times here....I think it smells fishy and dodgy to no end. To assume that every couple here has the best of intentions is short sighted & just cos I am a member here does not mean I have to offer support despite the way I feel.

I understand the tendency to want to defend this relationship where you are engaged to someone from the same country...but not all unions are created equal.

Lisa I wish to say something here... sure the Phillipines is a high-fraud country... and am quite sure that the USCIS is aware of that... I think they scrutinise every visa application... and considering they would have more facts on which to base their judgement, don't you think it could be left to them to decide whether yes or no as far as this or any couple is concerned?

My first reaction to that post was huh??? But hang on... who am I to sit in judgemwnt? Do I know all the facts??? Do I know what the Filipino culture is all about??? Do I know how this couple interact??? I don't.

And if you can base your judgement on a poorly constructed question (which seems like she was trying to find out whether it is considered a responsibility or not - for her culture is very different from the American culture) and be so brutally judgemental - then there is really nothing left to say... I do believe you said you believe in god... then let me (the athiest) quote something to you from your scriptures...

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"

"Do not judge lest you be judged. For with what judgement you judge, you will be judged and with what measure you mete, it shall be measured to you again"

If we at vj are not more discerning, this place will become a haven for every fraudulent relationship on the planet. Yes, there are already relationships here that are such, but the majority are not. And the ones that are here don't seem to put out such a 'red flag' so early on as this one has to me. You may feel it's not our place to judge, but we judge everything in life....form opinions on things with the information we're given.

We've all seen the posts that seem a little dodgy & I've seen the refusal of others to give information based on the facts that were given and the point that the relationship looks fake. I've seen these posts before and haven't commented as forcefully as I have here, but to me this one reeked as being so BLATANT that I couldn't stomach not saying anything.

If the OP wanted to know what is customary and what her fiancee is willing to do...here's a thought...ASK HIM. Do I know all the facts? No I don't. I'm going on what was presented. And based on those facts, I think this USC fiance is quite probably being taken for a ride. And that makes me a bit angry. OP had plenty of time with her fiance stood in front of her to discuss things like support, etc...and instead chose to come here after he left. Two people have just committed to spend their lives together, and she can't ask him a question? You yourself said it...you said 'huh??' Well again, joining this site less than a month after meeting online seems odd. Then it seems odd that the fiance was there, they got officially engaged, and yet did not speak of support,etc. I have NO PROBLEM with fiance support...I mean after all, you're engaged to someone, and they are in a bit of a bind, so you help them out. But the fact that it's here on what seems to be so quickly after the USC's departure, makes it seem TO ME that it's quite premeditated.

The beauty about our relationships as a whole is that we spend a lot more time talking and sharing and getting to know each other than do most 'normal' couples. We don't have the distractions of going here there and everywhere. Dates are on the fone, messenger, etc. My mom once said to me 'I think you and David have spent more time talking than me and Dad' lol. So in allllll the time spent spending time with each other, the OP couldn't ever broach the subject? Come on now!

It also pizzes me off because I feel it weakens the credibility of other relationships....puts a stigma such as 'high fraud country' so the legitimate ones unfortunately have to go into their union with it attached to it like 'prove above and beyond that you're legit'. Now while we ALL have to prove that we're legit to the eyes of the gov't....others here have to prove it to everyone even moreso than usual. And furthermore, that's why so many couples are waiting soooo long to be reunited...because fraudsters have mucked up the system. You want to tell me that the gov't investigates a US/Phil the same way they do a US/UK union?

And that pizzes me off for my friends here who will have to go thru extra chit because of it. It also really upsets me to think that someone is thinking he's engaged and totally in lurve, yet his fiance is online asking about fiance support to a bunch of strangers while he's on his way home. He's being taken for a mug. So while I appreciate you giving me your opinion...and it's a very nice one at that...I'm going to have to respectfully disagree with you here. Yes, my opinion is harsh & not all fluffy clouds and rainbows & yes, I have reacted strongly, and YES if I am proven otherwise, I will offer my most heartfelt apologies...but at the end of the day, this is how I feel...so I said so.

In other words......

ROFL!!!

I agree though. Everyone has their own opinion, and one shouldn't be more welcome than the other. I feel much like you do about this one. I'm also not telling the others to not give their opinions. Seems that it's always the happy rainbow crowd who wants the other side to not be allowed to speak, or to jump on them if they do give their opinion. Sorry....life isn't always nice. If I think someone is doing something nasty - like marrying someone for money or a visa - I'm gonna bloody say so. If I'm wrong, I'll apologize.

[Marc and Olga 0]

fluffy clouds and rainbows

:lol: :lol: :lol:

:dance:

:lol: :lol: :lol:

All fluffiness and rainbowiness aside, I still think it smeels of -

Edited August 6, 2006 by Marc and Olga

[CarolineM 0]

Seems that it's always the happy rainbow crowd who wants the other side to not be allowed to speak, or to jump on them if they do give their opinion. Sorry....life isn't always nice. If I think someone is doing something nasty - like marrying someone for money or a visa - I'm gonna bloody say so. If I'm wrong, I'll apologize.

AS usual, I agree with you Lisa

[PlatyPius 5]

Seems that it's always the happy rainbow crowd who wants the other side to not be allowed to speak, or to jump on them if they do give their opinion. Sorry....life isn't always nice. If I think someone is doing something nasty - like marrying someone for money or a visa - I'm gonna bloody say so. If I'm wrong, I'll apologize.

AS usual, I agree with you Lisa

Actually, that was me. LOL

I KNEW using Lisa's picture would cause confusion.....