monthly support from fiance

[*Robert* 2]

I think after the one hundreth post, she got the answer she was looking for. Seems that a lot of people here relish in making examples out of others. I hope she won't be afraid to ask any other questions regarding her transition to America.

Since it IS after the 100th post, this thread has officially been hijacked!

Let's face it Steven, this is the OT forum... not one of the immigration forums. This is not where you go to ask any serious questions.

Getting berated didn't stop Daisy from continuing to ask questions!!!

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

[Marc and Olga 0]

[sunandmoon 450]

I think after the one hundreth post, she got the answer she was looking for. Seems that a lot of people here relish in making examples out of others. I hope she won't be afraid to ask any other questions regarding her transition to America.

Since it IS after the 100th post, this thread has officially been hijacked!

Let's face it Steven, this is the OT forum... not one of the immigration forums. This is not where you go to ask any serious questions.

Getting berated didn't stop Daisy from continuing to ask questions!!!

actually i believe this topic was moved moved from the k-1 forum. family helping family is part of the Philippine culture. i thought she was off and premature in what her expectations are from her fiance.

[babybunny 2]

[mrc 0]

Is this customary in the Philippines? Would a male fiancee provide support in that culture? Or does this only apply to foreign men? Think I know the answer, but maybe I am truly unaware of the cultural differences.

it is not customary, but it is expected. the guy is suppose to take care of the girl, and it can mean financially speaking.

anyway, if you were the guy who's somewhat more well-off than the girl (and believe me, even if she is working it is not much...most people get paid around $5 bucks a day working 12 hours and it's literally grunt work) wouldn't you want to give your fiance something to make her life nicer? i'm just saying, it's not customary and it's not even a responsibility...but because you're considerate and mindful and you want to take care of her. wouldn't that make you feel like a jerk that you're buying a cup of Starbuck's coffee everyday where that amount can actually be her meal for the entire day? i don't know, let's not be quick to judge. flame away.

does this work both ways? what if the male is in phila. the lady is USC? she is expected to support his azz?

This is what I am asking and I feel the question wasn't answered. Oops never mind your asking if it was a role reversal! I just want to know if it is done within the culture, or if this only applies to having a foreign fiancee.

I think there is a cultural thing in the Philippines that families help each other out financially. Jinky has two sisters that are RN's working abroad in Ireland. They saved up and bought the family a house in the Philippines. So it is customary to offer support where and when needed. I understand the outrage people have expressed over her question, but I'd give her the benefit of the doubt that her intentions were not bad however misguided she may be. Perhaps she was thinking that since her fiance has asked for her hand in marriage, she's wondering at what point does he become 'part of the family' so to speak? We can assume all we want about her intentions but I thought Visa Journeys is suppose to be a community which offers help to those who have questions. I think after the one hundreth post, she got the answer she was looking for. Seems that a lot of people here relish in making examples out of others. I hope she won't be afraid to ask any other questions regarding her transition to America.

I agree with you, that is why I am asking what I am. We need to know more about the customs of the culture before making automatic assumptions. Obviously it is a poor country as well as a high fraud country when it comes to immigration, so easy to make a quick judgement. Don't think that means everyone coming from that particular country is a gold digger, plenty of those right here in our backyard. Again the OP needs to openly discuss this issue with her other half, maybe they can come to an agreement.

Yes, my fiance is working abroad from the PI and she sends money back to her family members monthly. She even sends her 24-year old brother money every month. She did tell him that he needs to get a job though and that her July payment to him was the last one she will send him. She's the older sister, so she feels that it is her obligation.

So, I try to help her out, even though she never asks me because I know everyone is always asking things of her.

PLUS I'M A RICH AMERICAN!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's just hard to explain to people that even though you net 60K a year, you aren't rich. DAMN YOU, COST OF LIVING!

LET'S GET BACK OFF TOPIC AGAIN!

Edited August 5, 2006 by mrc

[almaty 19]

money for nothing

[Marc and Olga 0]

money for nothing

Chicks for Free!

Oh wait...not a song thread...my bad!

[GaryC 7]

Let me relate my situation with Luz. It may give the flamers something to reference from.

I have been with Luz for over 2 1/2 years now. When I met her she was working 16 hours each day, 6 or 7 days a week to support her entire family. She has been doing this since her father died when she was young. Since she was the oldest in her family it fell to her to take up the role of the bread winner.

Luz was literally killing herself working as a maid, factory worker and anything else she could find. At one point she was ironing in a shirt factory doing 24 hour shifts every other day to make ends meet. After we were together for about 6 months is when I realized just how hard her life was. She never complained, never asked me for help and always seemed thankful that she was able to do her duty to her family. About 2 years ago I fell on hard times. I lost my job and was living on borrowed money from my family. SHE OFFERED ME MONEY!!!!! I was so touched that she would do that. Of course I didn't accept her offer but it did show me that her love for me was real and she wasn't "gold digging". She stuck with me through a bankruptcy and never wavered in her love for me. I finally got back on my feet and found a good job. I found myself in a position that made it possible for me to start taking some of the load off of her. I told her that I wanted to start supporting her 100%. I had the extra money and I WANTED to do it. So I started sending her $600 every two weeks. When she got sick and needed an operation to save her life I sent her in excess of $3000 to pay for it. The money I send her supports her and her son, her mother, sister and her two kids and a disabled aunt. I look at it as a blessing that I can do this for her. She has worked herself to death for 30 years taking care of her family and now I willingly take up that task. Luz does feel guilty about her "retirement" that I have given her but I insist that this is the way it's going to be. I have the financial means to do this and I want to do it. The only time we ever really argue is when she wants to go back to work to take some of the pressure off of me. I absolutely refuse to let her go back to work. I have told her that when her visa finally comes and we get married that she will never work. Her job will be to take care of me and my home and it will be my job to supply the money. That is the way I want it.

I don't know what has transpired between the OP and her man. I don't know what her situation is or what her man has told her. Each one of us has a different situation and it isn't our place to judge. She may have worded it the wrong way and that has cause some here to jump on her but I say lets cut her some slack.

[ellmoi 0]

thanks gary , i appreciate it a lot.

[babybunny 2]

a FOOL and his MONEY are soon parted..

I would never give a man money. for sure never give a boyfriend money. nope..

Edited August 5, 2006 by babybunny

[GaryC 7]

a FOOL and his MONEY are soon parted..

I would never give a man money. for sure never give a boyfriend money. nope..

And what has that got to do with anything I said here?

[Melo 1]

I read the first post when this thread was probably 2 pages long... my first reaction when I read it was ouch... how can she... but I stopped to think.... I don't really know anything about the OP or the Filipino culture to make an educated response. Many of us just presume we know what's what. Too many are judgemental; too many are just down right nasty. So what if she changed her handle??? So what if she removed her timeline??? Personally, I am fed up with seeing this happen over and over and over again - too much aggression... too much nastiness and too many people who think they know it all. Has the word compassion been removed from your dictionary???

[kismet 0]

I read the first post when this thread was probably 2 pages long... my first reaction when I read it was ouch... how can she... but I stopped to think.... I don't really know anything about the OP or the Filipino culture to make an educated response. Many of us just presume we know what's what. Too many are judgemental; too many are just down right nasty. So what if she changed her handle??? So what if she removed her timeline??? Personally, I am fed up with seeing this happen over and over and over again - too much aggression... too much nastiness and too many people who think they know it all. Has the word compassion been removed from your dictionary???

I'm with you Gary and Melo.

I'm a Filipina, and I'm proud of my culture. I admire Luz.

And it is so downright unfair to judge somebody on the basis of a few-worded question.

Gen

[ellmoi 0]

I read the first post when this thread was probably 2 pages long... my first reaction when I read it was ouch... how can she... but I stopped to think.... I don't really know anything about the OP or the Filipino culture to make an educated response. Many of us just presume we know what's what. Too many are judgemental; too many are just down right nasty. So what if she changed her handle??? So what if she removed her timeline??? Personally, I am fed up with seeing this happen over and over and over again - too much aggression... too much nastiness and too many people who think they know it all. Has the word compassion been removed from your dictionary???

I'm with you Gary and Melo.

I'm a Filipina, and I'm proud of my culture. I admire Luz.

And it is so downright unfair to judge somebody on the basis of a few-worded question.

Gen

Salamat kismet , I'm a Filipino, taas noo kahit kanino..