monthly support from fiance

[jordanianprincess 0]

I am just curious as to why everyone is flaming this girl? How is it that everyone can so easily judge her based on a profile, screen name, and one post which could all be a lie? Maybe she just wanted some advice on how to ask him. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion regarding if this is right or wrong, but just because its not in normal to you doesn't make it wrong for someone else. There are things that people do in other cultures that I think are questionable as well but I don't flame them for it.

JP, I luv ya but... she doesn't need ANY advice on how to ask. I'm sure she is a profesional at asking for money. Her problem is she's not getting it, and she's afraid to scare off her "catch", so she's trying to find another way of gettin money. If she has to keep asking, or he isn't willing to send money on his own, then they might as well end this relationship right now.

Oh yeah... we're bored and we want to pick on a nube!!!

I am not saying I disagree with you....and you are right there are some people that have no shame in asking for money. It's just a big disturbing when she has posted like 5 times and not really saying anything mean or bad to anyone and then you see everyone else tearing her to pieces and insulting her left and right. It's ok to feel the way you do but does eveyone have to be so mean?

[Sinergy 3]

There have been many members on here that have stated that they send money back to their fiances in the Phillipines, to me it was normal for them to do so since so many said they did. It even went so far as one of them giving her an ATM type card to access money over there. Perhaps the OP knows that this is somewhat customary for others but didn't seem to be so for her.

If everyone got cake on Wednesdays and I didn't, I'd start to wonder where my cake is.

I sent money to my husband when he was in Romania, FOR THE VISA. he was on his own as far as living. He never asked for money, i asked him if he needed any money. And if he had asked me for money i wouldnt have minded, i WOULD have minded if he asked for monthy support!!

But it is indeed something she needs to discuss with her SO, deffinatly, but NOT to expect it to be as a mandatory financial support just because they are engaged. I cant speak for others, but i know that is the part that made me giggle.

im outties, time to go home and relax with the hubby.

[*Robert* 2]

There have been many members on here that have stated that they send money back to their fiances in the Phillipines, to me it was normal for them to do so since so many said they did. It even went so far as one of them giving her an ATM type card to access money over there. Perhaps the OP knows that this is somewhat customary for others but didn't seem to be so for her.

If everyone got cake on Wednesdays and I didn't, I'd start to wonder where my cake is.

And there lies the problem. So many women expecting men to send them money and support not only them, but their entire family. If a guy wants to be a part of that, then its his business, and his problem. This has created a new type of welfare for the Philippines, and that's why mail order brides are so popular and so abundant. They know its an easy way of getting money. A lot easier than... working for example!

Oh yeah, I forgot to say I remember seeing that thread about how to send money to Manila and thought to myself, there goes another one! When guys have to compare the best ways to send money to a certain country in particular... I'm sorry... that just doesn't seem right.

How about we do this instead... everyone who is a USC, start sending money to your foreign fiance or fiancee, then everyone will have their cake!!!

[Tim and Bethanie 1]

There have been many members on here that have stated that they send money back to their fiances in the Phillipines, to me it was normal for them to do so since so many said they did. It even went so far as one of them giving her an ATM type card to access money over there. Perhaps the OP knows that this is somewhat customary for others but didn't seem to be so for her.

If everyone got cake on Wednesdays and I didn't, I'd start to wonder where my cake is.

And there lies the problem. So many women expecting men to send them money and support not only them, but their entire family. If a guy wants to be a part of that, then its his business, and his problem. This has created a new type of welfare for the Philippines, and that's why mail order brides are so popular and so abundant. They know its an easy way of getting money. A lot easier than... working for example!

Oh yeah, I forgot to say I remember seeing that thread about how to send money to Manila and thought to myself, there goes another one! When guys have to compare the best ways to send money to a certain country in particular... I'm sorry... that just doesn't seem right.

How about we do this instead... everyone who is a USC, start sending money to your foreign fiance or fiancee, then everyone will have their cake!!!

I have a better idea, everyone send your money to moi! You can have your cake, cuz you will feel good for helping out me me me!

[jordanianprincess 0]

How about we do this instead... everyone who is a USC, start sending money to your foreign fiance or fiancee, then everyone will have their cake!!!

[Ban Hammer 13,508]

A cousin of mine is in a similar situation. She lives and works in Jordan and makes very good money. She just got engaged and will be moving to the USA. She has only one concern and has not quite found a way to ask her fiance and I wouldn't even know how to ask this myself. He was married before and owns properties and has 2 kids which are both in their early 20's. Now she is pretty much figuring that in his will , he would leave everything to his kids. So she is not sure what she would have for herself as a means of financial security in the future. I know that is not a normal question for someone to ask in USA and in other parts of the world as well, but in some cultures once a woman gets engaged and married they become completly dependent on the man.

I know she does have bad intentions when wanting to ask about his will, but it would seem that way from the question.

i disagree jp.

that he has been married before has property and 2 grown kids that does not automatically mean he should leave her nothing. in the case above i'd suggest a 50-50 split, 50 for her and the remainder divided between the two kids. this would ensure she is taken care of. i don't consider her asking about the will being bad intentions, it all depends on how it is brought up, by whom, and how such is phrased.

[*Robert* 2]

How about we do this instead... everyone who is a USC, start sending money to your foreign fiance or fiancee, then everyone will have their cake!!!

Just in time JP!!!

I just finished lunch... Panang Curry with Chicken! So that cake looks GOOD!!!

[jordanianprincess 0]

A cousin of mine is in a similar situation. She lives and works in Jordan and makes very good money. She just got engaged and will be moving to the USA. She has only one concern and has not quite found a way to ask her fiance and I wouldn't even know how to ask this myself. He was married before and owns properties and has 2 kids which are both in their early 20's. Now she is pretty much figuring that in his will , he would leave everything to his kids. So she is not sure what she would have for herself as a means of financial security in the future. I know that is not a normal question for someone to ask in USA and in other parts of the world as well, but in some cultures once a woman gets engaged and married they become completly dependent on the man.

I know she does have bad intentions when wanting to ask about his will, but it would seem that way from the question.

i disagree jp.

that he has been married before has property and 2 grown kids that does not automatically mean he should leave her nothing. in the case above i'd suggest a 50-50 split, 50 for her and the remainder divided between the two kids. this would ensure she is taken care of. i don't consider her asking about the will being bad intentions, it all depends on how it is brought up, by whom, and how such is phrased.

Well to be honest Charles, we don't know what to expect. It's not a typical situation. I would hope that is the situation, but how do you ask? I agree it does depend on how its brought up, but we just don't know how to do that...any suggestions?

[Mirorgate 0]

damn.. now i'm hungry for choc cake

[ceriserose 1]

All I've gotten out of this thread is a manic desire for a Big Mac.

[Ban Hammer 13,508]

A cousin of mine is in a similar situation. She lives and works in Jordan and makes very good money. She just got engaged and will be moving to the USA. She has only one concern and has not quite found a way to ask her fiance and I wouldn't even know how to ask this myself. He was married before and owns properties and has 2 kids which are both in their early 20's. Now she is pretty much figuring that in his will , he would leave everything to his kids. So she is not sure what she would have for herself as a means of financial security in the future. I know that is not a normal question for someone to ask in USA and in other parts of the world as well, but in some cultures once a woman gets engaged and married they become completly dependent on the man.

I know she does have bad intentions when wanting to ask about his will, but it would seem that way from the question.

i disagree jp.

that he has been married before has property and 2 grown kids that does not automatically mean he should leave her nothing. in the case above i'd suggest a 50-50 split, 50 for her and the remainder divided between the two kids. this would ensure she is taken care of. i don't consider her asking about the will being bad intentions, it all depends on how it is brought up, by whom, and how such is phrased.

Well to be honest Charles, we don't know what to expect. It's not a typical situation. I would hope that is the situation, but how do you ask? I agree it does depend on how its brought up, but we just don't know how to do that...any suggestions?

who is it that does not trust her and why? are her intentions less than honest? if so, a guy can smell that a mile away. i think she could start by being involved in a good way with his kids and being on their good side for starters. yes they will see her as a threat to any inheritance they could get. or she could be a beach like my stepmother and make her intentions well known and po everyone.

[jordanianprincess 0]

A cousin of mine is in a similar situation. She lives and works in Jordan and makes very good money. She just got engaged and will be moving to the USA. She has only one concern and has not quite found a way to ask her fiance and I wouldn't even know how to ask this myself. He was married before and owns properties and has 2 kids which are both in their early 20's. Now she is pretty much figuring that in his will , he would leave everything to his kids. So she is not sure what she would have for herself as a means of financial security in the future. I know that is not a normal question for someone to ask in USA and in other parts of the world as well, but in some cultures once a woman gets engaged and married they become completly dependent on the man.

I know she does have bad intentions when wanting to ask about his will, but it would seem that way from the question.

i disagree jp.

that he has been married before has property and 2 grown kids that does not automatically mean he should leave her nothing. in the case above i'd suggest a 50-50 split, 50 for her and the remainder divided between the two kids. this would ensure she is taken care of. i don't consider her asking about the will being bad intentions, it all depends on how it is brought up, by whom, and how such is phrased.

Well to be honest Charles, we don't know what to expect. It's not a typical situation. I would hope that is the situation, but how do you ask? I agree it does depend on how its brought up, but we just don't know how to do that...any suggestions?

who is it that does not trust her and why? are her intentions less than honest? if so, a guy can smell that a mile away. i think she could start by being involved in a good way with his kids and being on their good side for starters. yes they will see her as a threat to any inheritance they could get. or she could be a beach like my stepmother and make her intentions well known and po everyone.

The issue is not trust, its culture. This is a semi-arranged wedding. They met, they liked each other, they decided to get married. Thats how things are done sometimes in the Middle East among people that are old fashioned. They agreed to get married after a month of knowing each other, so thats why its so complicated. lol She doesnt know his kids at all, she just doesnt want him to think she is a "golddigger" but at the same time, she is leaving alot behind in Jordan.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Is this customary in the Philippines? Would a male fiancee provide support in that culture? Or does this only apply to foreign men? Think I know the answer, but maybe I am truly unaware of the cultural differences.

it is not customary, but it is expected. the guy is suppose to take care of the girl, and it can mean financially speaking.

anyway, if you were the guy who's somewhat more well-off than the girl (and believe me, even if she is working it is not much...most people get paid around $5 bucks a day working 12 hours and it's literally grunt work) wouldn't you want to give your fiance something to make her life nicer? i'm just saying, it's not customary and it's not even a responsibility...but because you're considerate and mindful and you want to take care of her. wouldn't that make you feel like a jerk that you're buying a cup of Starbuck's coffee everyday where that amount can actually be her meal for the entire day? i don't know, let's not be quick to judge. flame away.

does this work both ways? what if the male is in phila. the lady is USC? she is expected to support his azz?

This is what I am asking and I feel the question wasn't answered. Oops never mind your asking if it was a role reversal! I just want to know if it is done within the culture, or if this only applies to having a foreign fiancee.

I think there is a cultural thing in the Philippines that families help each other out financially. Jinky has two sisters that are RN's working abroad in Ireland. They saved up and bought the family a house in the Philippines. So it is customary to offer support where and when needed. I understand the outrage people have expressed over her question, but I'd give her the benefit of the doubt that her intentions were not bad however misguided she may be. Perhaps she was thinking that since her fiance has asked for her hand in marriage, she's wondering at what point does he become 'part of the family' so to speak? We can assume all we want about her intentions but I thought Visa Journeys is suppose to be a community which offers help to those who have questions. I think after the one hundreth post, she got the answer she was looking for. Seems that a lot of people here relish in making examples out of others. I hope she won't be afraid to ask any other questions regarding her transition to America.

[Tim and Bethanie 1]

Is this customary in the Philippines? Would a male fiancee provide support in that culture? Or does this only apply to foreign men? Think I know the answer, but maybe I am truly unaware of the cultural differences.

it is not customary, but it is expected. the guy is suppose to take care of the girl, and it can mean financially speaking.

anyway, if you were the guy who's somewhat more well-off than the girl (and believe me, even if she is working it is not much...most people get paid around $5 bucks a day working 12 hours and it's literally grunt work) wouldn't you want to give your fiance something to make her life nicer? i'm just saying, it's not customary and it's not even a responsibility...but because you're considerate and mindful and you want to take care of her. wouldn't that make you feel like a jerk that you're buying a cup of Starbuck's coffee everyday where that amount can actually be her meal for the entire day? i don't know, let's not be quick to judge. flame away.

does this work both ways? what if the male is in phila. the lady is USC? she is expected to support his azz?

This is what I am asking and I feel the question wasn't answered. Oops never mind your asking if it was a role reversal! I just want to know if it is done within the culture, or if this only applies to having a foreign fiancee.

I think there is a cultural thing in the Philippines that families help each other out financially. Jinky has two sisters that are RN's working abroad in Ireland. They saved up and bought the family a house in the Philippines. So it is customary to offer support where and when needed. I understand the outrage people have expressed over her question, but I'd give her the benefit of the doubt that her intentions were not bad however misguided she may be. Perhaps she was thinking that since her fiance has asked for her hand in marriage, she's wondering at what point does he become 'part of the family' so to speak? We can assume all we want about her intentions but I thought Visa Journeys is suppose to be a community which offers help to those who have questions. I think after the one hundreth post, she got the answer she was looking for. Seems that a lot of people here relish in making examples out of others. I hope she won't be afraid to ask any other questions regarding her transition to America.

I agree with you, that is why I am asking what I am. We need to know more about the customs of the culture before making automatic assumptions. Obviously it is a poor country as well as a high fraud country when it comes to immigration, so easy to make a quick judgement. Don't think that means everyone coming from that particular country is a gold digger, plenty of those right here in our backyard. Again the OP needs to openly discuss this issue with her other half, maybe they can come to an agreement.

[Veiled Princess 1]

Well said. Maybe some of the cats will retract their claws after taking this into consideration.

Doubtful