Is this what marriage is going to be like?

[Alex+R 0]

Here's a quick update:

Things have improved drastically. We had a heart to heart yesterday. I think I finally got through to him. He apologized for having acted this way and promised to do his share. He told me that it's not that he doesn't care or isn't excited, he's just being more laid back about everything. One of us has to be otherwise we'll end up killing each other.

Then later in the day, he shocked the hell out of me. He e-mailed me all the completed forms, and

He called the embassy yesterday and finally got through to the Visa (miss)information services only to be told that the phone number was only for student and toursists visa.

We'll see what happens next. I guess I overreacted a bit.

Thank you all.

Phew. As long as you reached an understanding. I'm very happy that you guys are happy again!

[seldi 1]

I wish I had more time to read all the replies, unfortunetly work is keeping me a little bit busy today. But to answer a few questions:

-We're both 25. He's basically been on his own since age 16. He's definetly an independent person and has always done everything on his own. This is why I was so frustrated with his lack of participation, but it also explains why he acted this way (he hates being told what to do).

- He's more organized and neater than me!

- Sometimes he has to be reminded to do things, but I'm the same way. We always joke about how forgetful we both are and that we shouldn't have kids because we'll forget them .

- He waited so long to apply for his police certificate because he was under the impression that it was only good for a month.

- This might also be factor: I'm the youngest of three and I guess it's safe to say that I have ZERO patience.

- I've never been the nagging type until this.

I think the distance and talking on the internet led to a lot of misscomunication and frustration. We've agreed to talk on the phone more, even if it makes us broke, our relationship is worth more than anything in the world.

[Octa 0]

Here's a quick update:

Things have improved drastically. We had a heart to heart yesterday. I think I finally got through to him. He apologized for having acted this way and promised to do his share. He told me that it's not that he doesn't care or isn't excited, he's just being more laid back about everything. One of us has to be otherwise we'll end up killing each other.

Then later in the day, he shocked the hell out of me. He e-mailed me all the completed forms, and

He called the embassy yesterday and finally got through to the Visa (miss)information services only to be told that the phone number was only for student and toursists visa.

We'll see what happens next. I guess I overreacted a bit.

Thank you all.

Happy to see you guys are working this out. In our case I did all the paperwork and I was the one laid back about everything. I take my time....my husband used to keep asking me HOW IS THE PAPERWORK GOING? DID YOU GET IT DONE? Sometimes he felt like I did not care. Its not that I did not, its just me...I don't like to rush things and it took me a few months to get things done. He knows me really well now. I still take my time and now he knows me better than ever so he has learned to have patience.........

[*Robert* 2]

I wish I had more time to read all the replies, unfortunetly work is keeping me a little bit busy today. But to answer a few questions:

You let work interfere with your time on VJ?!!!

OMG!!!

[Fandango 1,439]

I wish I had more time to read all the replies, unfortunetly work is keeping me a little bit busy today. But to answer a few questions:

-We're both 25. He's basically been on his own since age 16. He's definetly an independent person and has always done everything on his own. This is why I was so frustrated with his lack of participation, but it also explains why he acted this way (he hates being told what to do).

- He's more organized and neater than me!

- Sometimes he has to be reminded to do things, but I'm the same way. We always joke about how forgetful we both are and that we shouldn't have kids because we'll forget them .

- He waited so long to apply for his police certificate because he was under the impression that it was only good for a month.

- This might also be factor: I'm the youngest of three and I guess it's safe to say that I have ZERO patience.

- I've never been the nagging type until this.

I think the distance and talking on the internet led to a lot of misscomunication and frustration. We've agreed to talk on the phone more, even if it makes us broke, our relationship is worth more than anything in the world.

Glad to hear it's sorted itself out!

Check out getting Vonage or another VoIP service which can help you save on phone calls

[Erik 0]

My fiance can be a little reserved about getting things done (I think most Brasilians are extremely laid back in the first place). But, I think there is another factor that another poster touched on that many of us Petitioners forget.

All through out our relationship, I have been trying to prepare my fiance for the major changes in her life that are coming. A new country, a new culture, leaving her friends, her family, her country, and just about everything she has ever known. I talk to her a lot about this because I know it will not be easy, and reassure her daily that we will do whatever it takes to make her adjustment period easier for her. All along she says she understands everything, and tells me it's part of life to move on and create a life and family with the person you love. However, I still know she doesn't realize the full impact of it all, and she won't until she is actually here. I'm 8 years older than her, and have had a job that has allowed me to see, and go to many different places, so perhaps I am just more experienced in regards to adjusting to new surroundings.

For an example, yesterday when I called her and told her we received our NOA2 approval, she was going crazy, screaming, crying, telling everyone there the good news (she even had me call her back so she could go tell the neighbors ). But, then when I called her at night, she was crying, but for a different reason. The realization that she will not be with her family and friends for much longer has started to sink in (as I knew it would). She realizes now her days in Brasil are numbered, and it's a little overwhelming for her, even though she is excited and can not wait for us to finally be together forever.

So, it brought me to thinking last night that perhaps this is in part why sometimes it feels like I need to push her to get things done in a timely manner (well timely to US folk). While she wants nothing more than for us to spend out the rest of our days together, she also is feeling the pains, and realization of leaving her family, friends, and country. So, she's being pulled in two different directions, fighting and dealing with emotions that I will never completely understand as I have never left everything behind for someone I love (although if she is unhappy here in the US, I've already told her we would move to Brasil. If she was willing to give everything up for me, then I would also be willing to give everything up for her).

So, I think that, the cultural differences, and that sometimes it can be more difficult for them to get certain things done purely because of the way things are in they're country, plus they don't for the most part understand this process, doesn't help in the motivation factor, and understandably so. Her reaction of sheer happiness, then sadness yesterday made me realize I need to be more patient with her in terms of paperwork, and not push her to much. If it ends up meaning we are apart for an extra week or two, then so be it (as much as we both really don't want that to happen). But, if those 2 weeks will help her with everything that is going on, and not put extra stress on her from me harping on her to get things done, then that is a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

After all, she is leaving everything she has ever known... and for what? For me... and that is something I will never forget for as long as I live.

I'm glad things are better for you now. I'm sorry for the long post, but my fiances reactions yesterday brought to light things I had previously put paperwork ahead of. It may not be the case for you two, but something to keep in mind when your harping him about paperwork etc.

[vartan 0]

SELDI,

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First is the card name, then how many cents per minute and yes that is .3 cents .. 1/3 of a cent .. how many minutes on a $10 card and its rating per people is last.

GLOBAL CONNECT 0.3 ¢ 3,333 2

World Connect 0.3 ¢ 3,333 1

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FAR EAST 0.6 ¢ 1,613 4

CALL ANYTIME 0.7 ¢ 1,429 7

MyQuest 0.8 ¢ 1,333 6

HOT PIN 0.8 ¢ 1,205 5

ANYWHERE 0.9 ¢ 1,099 8

Extra Talk 1.0 ¢ 1,042 10

ROYAL ASIA 1.0 ¢ 1,000 9

[babybunny 2]

So my fiance an I are the the Embassy step.

It's now HIS turn to get everything ready. In my opinion, he should have been ready a while ago. He knows exactly what he needs to get done, I have been bugging him for months now. He's just taking his sweet time getting things done. I don't think he comprehends how crucial it is to have everything ready ASAP.

For example, it can take up to 2 months to get your police certificate in Argentina. I have been asking him to get it done. He applied LAST WEEK. I asked him to call the embassy today because I wasn't sure if they required 2 years worth of taxes or three. He tells me that he called the number I gave him, but it was "busy".

I've also sent him tons of links that explain the whole process, forms, requirements, timelines to help him understand(or so I thought). Yet, he doesn't even know what a I-134 is.

Maybe I'm just being a typical American and being neurotic about everything, but I don't think he's taking it seriously. I don't know if this is normal guy behavior and he's just being lazy, or what the ####### is going on. I'm so frustrated. I'm even considering breaking up with him. I want a partner, not a son.

To make matters worse, the embassy is completely useless.

men handle things like this diffrently. as Ladies we can be very emotional about everything.

my advise is 1... calm down 2... stop stressing HIM out !!! he has to be the one that goes through it NOT you. let him handle it in his own way. men are like that. back up and chill. you told him what he needs to do let him be the man and handle it.

3.. if you are soo worried take the time and prepare a note book of proofs and FEDEX it to him.

I think your emotions are OVERBOARD- when you are saying you wanna break up with him like this is high school then you need to chill. he is your partner you should know that- dont belittle him by treating like some kid. 4.. you should also talk softly to him and say what you have to say. only once you need to say it. dont DEMAND it.

[Collie 122]

I'm glad to hear that you two had a good talk. Marriage is about communicating but most importantly its about listening. With our paperwork, I filled in most of it because my husband is a paramedic and works long hours. He was more than ready though when I shoved numerous papers at him and told him to autograph them. He was also good about getting on the ball to get me on the car insurance and to open up a joint account. Thankfully my husband and I both like to get things done asap so we usually don't have conflicts when it comes to things like that.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

My fiance can be a little reserved about getting things done (I think most Brasilians are extremely laid back in the first place). But, I think there is another factor that another poster touched on that many of us Petitioners forget.

All through out our relationship, I have been trying to prepare my fiance for the major changes in her life that are coming. A new country, a new culture, leaving her friends, her family, her country, and just about everything she has ever known. I talk to her a lot about this because I know it will not be easy, and reassure her daily that we will do whatever it takes to make her adjustment period easier for her. All along she says she understands everything, and tells me it's part of life to move on and create a life and family with the person you love. However, I still know she doesn't realize the full impact of it all, and she won't until she is actually here. I'm 8 years older than her, and have had a job that has allowed me to see, and go to many different places, so perhaps I am just more experienced in regards to adjusting to new surroundings.

For an example, yesterday when I called her and told her we received our NOA2 approval, she was going crazy, screaming, crying, telling everyone there the good news (she even had me call her back so she could go tell the neighbors ). But, then when I called her at night, she was crying, but for a different reason. The realization that she will not be with her family and friends for much longer has started to sink in (as I knew it would). She realizes now her days in Brasil are numbered, and it's a little overwhelming for her, even though she is excited and can not wait for us to finally be together forever.

So, it brought me to thinking last night that perhaps this is in part why sometimes it feels like I need to push her to get things done in a timely manner (well timely to US folk). While she wants nothing more than for us to spend out the rest of our days together, she also is feeling the pains, and realization of leaving her family, friends, and country. So, she's being pulled in two different directions, fighting and dealing with emotions that I will never completely understand as I have never left everything behind for someone I love (although if she is unhappy here in the US, I've already told her we would move to Brasil. If she was willing to give everything up for me, then I would also be willing to give everything up for her).

So, I think that, the cultural differences, and that sometimes it can be more difficult for them to get certain things done purely because of the way things are in they're country, plus they don't for the most part understand this process, doesn't help in the motivation factor, and understandably so. Her reaction of sheer happiness, then sadness yesterday made me realize I need to be more patient with her in terms of paperwork, and not push her to much. If it ends up meaning we are apart for an extra week or two, then so be it (as much as we both really don't want that to happen). But, if those 2 weeks will help her with everything that is going on, and not put extra stress on her from me harping on her to get things done, then that is a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

After all, she is leaving everything she has ever known... and for what? For me... and that is something I will never forget for as long as I live.

I'm glad things are better for you now. I'm sorry for the long post, but my fiances reactions yesterday brought to light things I had previously put paperwork ahead of. It may not be the case for you two, but something to keep in mind when your harping him about paperwork etc.

She's one lucky gal.

[KarenCee 3]

"After all, she is leaving everything she has ever known... and for what? For me... and that is something I will never forget for as long as I live."

That is exactly how I feel about my Joel....it's something that humbles me and I am in awe that someone could love me this much.

[Ladylethal 12]

Luis only got things moving fast when I showed him the site and how people get desperate when sending things last minute, and when he saw how fast the process started going after approval. Packet 3 is now sent, I'm all set for the interview, and he's mailing the affidavit this week. I got stressed at times, and angry at him for not doing things faster, but we also depend on his dad as a co-sponsor, so Luis had to keep on his back to get things done, 'cus it's our interest, not his, and it wouldn't get done in the speed we need if he hadn't pressed his father on. I thank him for that. Also, he works lots and was doing his best in the meantime, so now I appreciate his effort, and although I was anxious and nervous he turned out to do things in time and with precision.

Your fiance is the beneficiary, though, and he does indeed have to go lots of places, spend lots of money, and lots of time to get things done, and the process won't slow down for him, although you can always wait to send packet 3 once he actually had ordered his certificates and medical appointment.