Do I have to love (or just like) the US of A?

[K and L 27]

Require a passport or one of the passport cards. IIRC, the cards are $25 if you haven't had one before, and $20 if you've had a passpor (about as much as my driver's license, but valid twice as long), and unlike the ubiquitous driver's license, is federally issued and mandates proof of citizenship.

[TracyTN 237]

Americans are very proud to be American. I have nothing against it and I admire it. My problem is that their proud comes with an absolute belief that USA IS THE BEST country in the world and they see nothing past the border. I get really annoyed when I tell people that I am from Lithuania and I am told that it must to be difficult to live in a third world country. A what? A third world country? I drove around Southern California and I saw places that would make a poor grandma from a little village with her wooden house look like Mrs Trump. I have never seen people live in trailers or sheds and I would say that people here are much poorer than I have seen before. LOL

I am always embarrassed by my fellow American's lack of a 'world view.' Unfortunately, that extends to my own family as well. My brother in law - love him though I do! - hasn't been further away from home than South Carolina, and has never been on a plane (nor will he likely ever be). He took hubby and I through the Smoky Mountains during one of hubby's visits, and while pointing to a nice bit of rolling hills and vistas, said to hubby 'I bet they have nothing like that in England.' Oh really? :bonk:I'm pretty sure BIL's 'no flying' ban will extend to his children until they are 18 (at which point, hubby and I will be happy to 'corrupt' them) so that they can see a bit of the wide world beyond Tennessee.

Neither of my parents have ever been outside the US (not even Canada, Bahamas, Mexico - nothing) but at least they DO understand that the world doesn't end at the shores of the US - so I'm grateful for that. But I don't know WHY people here are this way - where's their wonderlust - or curiosity?? I don't get it - truly I don't.

Just don't hold that against those of us who AREN'T that way.

[Gemmie 142]

I am always embarrassed by my fellow American's lack of a 'world view.' Unfortunately, that extends to my own family as well. My brother in law - love him though I do! - hasn't been further away from home than South Carolina, and has never been on a plane (nor will he likely ever be). He took hubby and I through the Smoky Mountains during one of hubby's visits, and while pointing to a nice bit of rolling hills and vistas, said to hubby 'I bet they have nothing like that in England.' Oh really? :bonk:I'm pretty sure BIL's 'no flying' ban will extend to his children until they are 18 (at which point, hubby and I will be happy to 'corrupt' them) so that they can see a bit of the wide world beyond Tennessee.

Neither of my parents have ever been outside the US (not even Canada, Bahamas, Mexico - nothing) but at least they DO understand that the world doesn't end at the shores of the US - so I'm grateful for that. But I don't know WHY people here are this way - where's their wonderlust - or curiosity?? I don't get it - truly I don't.

Just don't hold that against those of us who AREN'T that way.

Agreed. My family are the same. They've been born and raised in the same town and have barely ventured outside it during their entire lives - the most they'll do is hop on a train down to the beach. When I moved off to college 35 miles away, they acted like I had moved across the country and made several excuses so they wouldn't have to visit. Yet they continue to make ignorant assumptions about other countries. My brother has asked me if people in my neighbourhood in the US go around with guns like in the movies, and they're always asking embarrassing questions to me and my husband about America.

I'm trying really hard to get them to come and visit the US for themselves, but as I expected, the excuses are rolling out. I don't understand why people like that aren't more curious to venture out either. I just count myself as lucky for not being one of those people.

[ATLR 2]

Hi, I am relatively still new here, but I have read up a lot and got lots of good tips/advice about the required processes etc..And stumble upon this topic. Very interesting! Just want to share a little on life for me here, in the US of A. I am here for about 3 months, currently waiting for my AOS approval, but then I've already see so much on what's going here. I agree with lots of you here, I am very sure that I won't love USA, I only love my husband, and right now we only have the option of me coming to the USA. We live in Miami Beach, most of the people I known so far are friendly, but somehow I always get the suspicion that they always look at me as some 3rd world country girl who just want an easy ticket to a 'grand' life here. They always have this funny look on their face when they know that I can fully understand and talk perfect English and yes, I had a decent job with a salary enough to support my folks while living in Singapore. Ironically, Miami is one of the city with the most numbers of immigrants, especially Latinos. But the Latinos here is just the same as the Americans. They refused to learn English, most of them are from the poorer part of South America, but they hold the same view as the Americans and make assumptions that I am with my husband because I am uneducated, I am poor and all that #######. I still have people here asking me is Singapore part of China! They look surprise when I explain how Singapore is actually like. I won't say I am a very world savvy person, but it just never fail to amaze me that, USA, the superpower of the world, doesn't really see that there are also other wonderful countries beyond USA. One of the worse remarks I got is from this American white woman who asked where am I from, and then she replied sarcastically 'Singapore??!! That is not one place that I think I will ever want to visit.' It infuriates me. And I just curtly told her that Singapore is very self sufficient, it doesn't need tourist trash like her to help support the economy!!! And when I learn about how the health care system work around here, I am pretty shake up by it. Right now, my husband and I have a hard time deciding on an insurance policy for me because everything is so expensive, otherwise if it is a cheap policy, they will have so many rules and conditions on it that we get all googly eyes looking into it.

So, when the time comes for me to decide on converting citizenship, definite no for me because my husband and I plan on going back to Singapore. And I am glad that my husband is not one of those Americans, otherwise I won't be married to him I know I sound kind of angry here, but these are just my experiences so far. There are nice things here too and I fully understand that being an immigrant, you have to fully respect their system and adapt, but that doesn't mean that I will love USA and I just hope that people will stop asking me do I get my citizenship immediately when I am married to my husband.

[Vivi6 12]

Side note - i explained the process for AOS in detail to my FIL tonight because he asked a qn that made it seem like i should just send off a form (ignorance, not being mean) and *poof* there's my GC. I explained the hoops we need to jump through, the paperwork we need to complete, the regulations and requirements, not to mention the fees.. he was honestly shocked about it all. If it was as simple as a little piece of paper i'd've done it the day after I got married.. after the breakfast in bed of course

I explained the process to my ILs and their friends neighbors too, bits and pieces at the wedding reception and teh rest at other social occasions. They all seemed genuinely shocked and I felt it was good to let them know the process and hopefully become a little more open minded (not that they are not but I always hope they share what they learn about it with people they know and so on!)

[Y&E 12]

The healthcare thing is the biggest worry for me. To the point that I'm not even sure if we should have children any more because, even though my SO earns a decent salary, I can't see how we will be able to afford it. I'm so used to just being able to go to the doctor / hospital and not worry about whether it's affordable or not.

I get so annoyed when SO refers to me as British! I may be half and half Kiwi / British but NZ was where I was brought up and that's my national identity. He's always telling people that I'm British and it drives me mad! That's my patriotism.

I'm sure that there are many great things about the US but there are also many not so great things - as it is in every country. I know that I won't love the US and I am going simply because that's the best option for us right now. One day we will have to move to NZ or Aus though and we have discussed that so we both know we're on the same page. We even discussed sending our kids (if we have any) to uni in NZ because that would probably be cheaper than uni in the US!

[Vivi6 12]

Amen!!! The US health care scares the ####### out of me and makes me so angry!!! It's not only super complicated, outrageously expensive, but also extremely discriminating. It's just wrong for companies to make millions at the expense of people's lives - even with the new reform, it's still wrong IMO. And all the fight over the reform is based on so many lies and misleading info - the politics of FEAR are so prominent in the US.

I am sooooooooooooo sick of hearing all the ####### that the right-wingers down here in the US say about Canadian health care!!! It makes me MAD! And I wonder where on earth they get the right to spread LIES on national TV with their stupid commercials!?

Sure, Canada's system is not perfect. Sure, there have been some people who come here to the US for treatments (although in many cases, it is still paid for by the province, or it's an experimental procedure not yet approved/available in Canada). Sure, there are longer wait times in some cases (although my husband waited 6 weeks in the US just to find out that his insurance company would not cover his MRI - and it would cost $1,400 - whereas our friend in Canada paid for an MRI for only $500 and had it the next day). But Canada still spends far less per capita on health care, yet has higher life expectancies, and equal or better survival rates for many diseases. Not to mention, 60% of bankrupcies in the US are due to health care bills, and I assume that number is 0% in Canada.

But what REALLY ticks me off are how grossely they exaggerate ####### about Canada's health care - like ####### Cheney's idiot daughter saying that Canadians can't choose their own doctor, that the gov't tells us who our doctor will be. Like WTH??? If doctors are accepting new patients, they will see you. When we were looking for a doctor accepting new patients in a small Alberta town we found one much easier than my husband did in a much larger US city. And, actually, you can't just go to any doctor in the US anyhow if they don't accept your insurance, etc.

It also drives me NUTS how people in the US throw around the world Socialism.... I guarantee so many of them don't even know what that means. The US is so far from a socialist country, it's a joke that people even say that. And then they talk about not wanting to be socialist like Europe...as if Europe has a horrible quality of life. Like do thees people even own a passport? Have they ever even left the US? Western Europe has a much smaller gap between rich and poor than the US.

You will be hard pressed to find anyone who has LIVED in both countries and experienced the "downfalls" of both systems first-hand who would take the US system over the Canadian system (or prob any other industrialized world's system for that matter).

I don't understand how so many Americans can consider themselves PRO-LIFE when it comes to abortion, but in the next breath, agree with the politicians who say health care is a PRIVLEDGE, not a right for all citizens. Pure hypocracy IMO.

The US has some of the world's best doctors, hospitals, and medical technology, but what does it matter if so many people can't afford it?

YOU GOT INSIDE MY HEAD AND PUT MY THOUGHTS INTO WORDS!!!! Seriously. I think Italian healthcare is similar to Canada. I know it has its flaws like you said, but I would trade it ANY day. My mother in law has cancer (she is in remission now) and her doctor calls her MILLION DOLLAR BABY...you know why? Because her insurance paid already over ONE MILLION DOLLAR for her treatment and she's only been sick for 18 months...before she had her first surgery they said "We can only fix one of the fractures because your insurance only pays for that not to fix more". This woman was JUST diagnosed with a life-threatening disease and she had to deal with insurance companies???UNBELIEVABLE. And then you hear all those Palin like uberconservative idiots who feed people their ####### about being pro life, when this is how they are pro life...showing no mercy to a person who is potentially dying...

In Italy sometimes waiting times are long, but it depends on your case. I am 27 and if I go in for a colonoscopy just out of nowhere for no specific reason OF COURSE I would wait for months. But if you are a "red code" I can assure you you are number one on the list. Surely there have been cases where unfortunately the system didn't work but it happens for about anything and in general you are not afraid to get sick, like I am here now (and mind you I have great insurance though my hubby). I don't have to pay 80 dollars for 3 pills of antibiotics. I go to the doctor if I feel I have the flu I don't wait until it passes. If I need to I go see the doctor 3 times a week and don't pay A PENNY. How is this bad?????? *Knock on wood* if I ever get seriously ill I am flying home with the first flight!!!

Let's not talk about the word socialism...I thank Palin and McCain and FOx News for bringing back this word that most Americans don't even know the meaning of. They like to fill their mouth with these big words that all of a sudden become so empty. It is laughable to me and it's definitely one of those things I can't stand about living here. Thankfully most people I hang out with are very open minded and know better than that.

When I tell people about health care and other stuff in Italy, sometimes they look at me like "OH poor you, your country sounds awful..."

[Captain Oates 911]

My god I just stumbled across this thread and it sounds like an extreme version of me saying this stuff

I don't know about the US but I love Germans as they are so honest and fearlessly so.

I have the same experience as the rest of you in that all this stuff about the land being the most beautiful in the world etc makes me think what about the Greek Islands, the Med, Cornwall etc

Most of the US is referred to as flyover as it is arid badland. There is 2 thousand miles of revolting nothing starting a mile from where I am right now.

What's all this about only we are free and able to go anywhere ? Don't they know that Germans and French and Brits and ozzies and kiwis have free speech and can go anywhere ?

I used to be able to go to Cuba but I am banned now I have a GC ! I have lost 'go anywhere' by living here.

The US is just another country and if the citizens would behave like that instead of insisting that they and their system and their land and their government are all better than anyone else's (and therefore everyone else is INFERIOR)they would be more accepted in the world.

My wife is a USC and when she is introduced as such in any FIRST WORLD country, the response is usually a curling lip of distrust or disdain. This is a result of the militaristic adventures of the US government, the threatening and massive armed forces, and the attitude of the 'We are superior' people.

The real American people I meet are deluded but ok people as individuals - naturally so because they are just people like the rest of us and live in just another country like we used to. Doesn't stop them living in poverty on 700 dollars a month with little services and believing they are incredibly powerful and the chosen people.

Other countries have had isolation so it can't be just that that allows these attitudes to continue. It's still a mystery to me as to why this overbearing need to be superior exists.

If I went to a dinner party and announced that my wife was more intelligent and better looking than any of the other wives there, imagine the reaction. That is exactly what Americans do and then they wonder why they are resented around the world.

I had a dream last night that I woke up 85 years old in an American nursing home. They had taken all my money and I was surrounded by all these patriots who are really extreme right wing Nationists. They couldn't understand me and I couldn't understand them. I was trapped.

I will make sure that never happens.

I love it raining less than the UK and the cheap cars and petrol - does that count ?

I know some poor swine is paying the price of that - I saw 500 people standing in line for a soup kitchen on Boston Common. I didn't love that sight but Americans must be blind to all that.

[LA80 3]

I just have to go back to this topic. This time, I will talk a bit about my in-laws and their attitude really never ceases to amaze me. It is also probably because of my own perception of how things should be, but I cannot keep wondering whether it is them, or it is me, or what... I really, really love America, but I do not like the place where I am now. Coming from a little war-torn country and trying to find a place under the sun in this great country is certainly not easy, especially during the recession. My in-laws are apparently convinced that I am some kind of a refugee desperate to get hold of America (this really, really hurts), and that I should put up with every ####### they pour on me because I guess I should have pretty low standards. It seems they think that they saved me (I had a job there, and family and lots of friends), but I cannot even describe how some things are so decadent from my point of view, so many people with a pretty "interesting" past, ex-drug addicts, dealing with SRS, listening to all those trashy stories where everybody else is guilty (the system, the government, Obama, you name it...) except the person causing trouble. I had to prove that my past was clean in order to get to the USA. So, why is it ok to be surrounded by people dealing with police and social services all the time? I was avoiding such persons at home as well. I just think I started losing my mind. They said they would make me feel comfortable, but they seriously made me think just to pack my American husband and go back home. He does not object it. In 20 months spent here, I have not made even one friend and my husband means everything to me. I found the job myself with a little help of a staffing agency, no one even told me where to look or who hires, or anything. I did not really expect a job packed in a pretty little box when I arrived here, but no guidance at all, a piece of advice? And what if I could not speak English the way I can? It is just "Do you like it here?", then "No? Oh, how come?" My answer is "Will you help me accommodate and call this place home? I am willing to learn and I am willing to love it and I am willing to give my soul to it, but can you at least show me around?"

So, how can you like any place if you do not have social ties and have hard times making those? That is my problem. But yes, I will ALWAYS love America both as an idea and as a country. I know that there are good people all over the place. I just had some bad luck.

[Liz Rodriguez 1]

I am a USA citizen and I think that I love the usa because it was were I was born. Do I love all aspects of the life here?, no I dont. I hate that I am scared to take the kids to the doctors and dont know how much I am going to have to pay if they are sick. I would honestly, my fiance doesnt understand, rather move to Egypt. I know that some of the conditions over there are bad but it is the simplicity of life there. The way that friends are friends and dont stab each other in the back or use them to get what they want. He will come here, inshaallah, next year but I have warned him that if he thinks things are bad in Egypt then he will be in shock when he comes here. I have tried to tell him that even tho he thinks the economy is bad there, which it is, the us is just as bad. The prices are sky rocketing and I keep trying to explain that to him too. He keeps telling me to save money, but how am I to do that when my bills equal what I get in a months time? And I budgeted out my money every month so that I know all my bills are paid and that only leaves like $10 a month that could be saved. I know a lil bit saved for a long time grows but when the kids get sick I have to spend that money to cover medical bills. So can I say I love the us yes and no. healthcare sucks but and jobs are horrible to find in small towns bc they dont pay enough to cover the bills. I look at everyone the same immigrant or not. If they are here legally then more power to them, if they are illegally here, then yes I think they need to go home and file like everyone else has too. I dont think that they should be given a waiver unless it was so bad there that they were scared for their immediate death/life. Sorry that is just my opinion.

[Captain Oates 911]

I just have to go back to this topic. This time, I will talk a bit about my in-laws and their attitude really never ceases to amaze me. It is also probably because of my own perception of how things should be, but I cannot keep wondering whether it is them, or it is me, or what... I really, really love America, but I do not like the place where I am now. Coming from a little war-torn country and trying to find a place under the sun in this great country is certainly not easy, especially during the recession. My in-laws are apparently convinced that I am some kind of a refugee desperate to get hold of America (this really, really hurts), and that I should put up with every ####### they pour on me because I guess I should have pretty low standards. It seems they think that they saved me (I had a job there, and family and lots of friends), but I cannot even describe how some things are so decadent from my point of view, so many people with a pretty "interesting" past, ex-drug addicts, dealing with SRS, listening to all those trashy stories where everybody else is guilty (the system, the government, Obama, you name it...) except the person causing trouble. I had to prove that my past was clean in order to get to the USA. So, why is it ok to be surrounded by people dealing with police and social services all the time? I was avoiding such persons at home as well. I just think I started losing my mind. They said they would make me feel comfortable, but they seriously made me think just to pack my American husband and go back home. He does not object it. In 20 months spent here, I have not made even one friend and my husband means everything to me. I found the job myself with a little help of a staffing agency, no one even told me where to look or who hires, or anything. I did not really expect a job packed in a pretty little box when I arrived here, but no guidance at all, a piece of advice? And what if I could not speak English the way I can? It is just "Do you like it here?", then "No? Oh, how come?" My answer is "Will you help me accommodate and call this place home? I am willing to learn and I am willing to love it and I am willing to give my soul to it, but can you at least show me around?"

So, how can you like any place if you do not have social ties and have hard times making those? That is my problem. But yes, I will ALWAYS love America both as an idea and as a country. I know that there are good people all over the place. I just had some bad luck.

Great post and fantastic English. I went to Bosnia up country in 1986. I drove there from England.

Give it some time here . I sometimes think I am going crazy because America is crazy. Ask anyone from any country in Europe who has even visited here and turned on the telly.

It makes me dizzy with it's lies and extremism and insincerity. One minute the gulf is destroyed forever, next minute the same reporter is saying come on down the beaches are beautiful and the seafood is better than ever. They duck and dive and lie and cover up all the time . Its one big smokescreen to disguise the fact that much of the USA is third world unless you are well off forever and fireproof.

Turn off the telly and take the people for what they are - pleasant, well mannered (if you are a 'friend') courteous, generous. My US 'friends' are like this with me but scratch the surface and they are deeply racist and nastily political and would happily shoot mexicans at the border or just give the poor people cans of donated food if they are lucky.

There is the paradox

Once you realise this you have to deal with it. I do that by confirming to myself that I am English with an English culture. Americans don't mind because the Italian Americans do everything Italian and the Poles etc have their sausages. Its ok to keep your culture so long as you wave your little flag and say you love America. Thats all you have to do. If pressed for a reason you say it's the only country in the world that has free speech and the rest are run by dictators and kings.. Say that and you are IN. It's all a load of drivel but they believe it and you are required to say it.

Join a club - any club. You will make 'friends' but they will never be like peoeple back home. It will help with the loneliness you feel.

Keep your personal culture - it's your greatest possession - don't try and be a yank coz their culture is very deep and the deeper you dig, the more you will be amazed at how different it is to any European.

The difference between a non english speaking Bosnian Moslem and an English person is probably LESS than the difference between either of these groups and an American but it does not seem so on the surface..

I can handle it all now because I understand it - but it takes a while if you are a thinking person. If you are shallow and stupid and can't see the danger or what you are dealing with, you can fit in immediately with no problems

When it all gets too bad remember that you can go back one day and treat this as an extended holiday - a voyage of discovery. So relax for now and look around you and just be glad you aren't them.

Edited July 12, 2010 by saywhat

[LA80 3]

I am a USA citizen and I think that I love the usa because it was were I was born. Do I love all aspects of the life here?, no I dont. I hate that I am scared to take the kids to the doctors and dont know how much I am going to have to pay if they are sick. I would honestly, my fiance doesnt understand, rather move to Egypt. I know that some of the conditions over there are bad but it is the simplicity of life there. The way that friends are friends and dont stab each other in the back or use them to get what they want. He will come here, inshaallah, next year but I have warned him that if he thinks things are bad in Egypt then he will be in shock when he comes here. I have tried to tell him that even tho he thinks the economy is bad there, which it is, the us is just as bad. The prices are sky rocketing and I keep trying to explain that to him too. He keeps telling me to save money, but how am I to do that when my bills equal what I get in a months time? And I budgeted out my money every month so that I know all my bills are paid and that only leaves like $10 a month that could be saved. I know a lil bit saved for a long time grows but when the kids get sick I have to spend that money to cover medical bills. So can I say I love the us yes and no. healthcare sucks but and jobs are horrible to find in small towns bc they dont pay enough to cover the bills. I look at everyone the same immigrant or not. If they are here legally then more power to them, if they are illegally here, then yes I think they need to go home and file like everyone else has too. I dont think that they should be given a waiver unless it was so bad there that they were scared for their immediate death/life. Sorry that is just my opinion.

Why is this so? I noticed some major back stabbing in my new family, so why do people do that? I also noticed this...If you are nice, polite and respectful, showing some manners, they do not really appreciate you for that. It is how much you earn. Anybody else got this feeling?

[Captain Oates 911]

Why is this so? I noticed some major back stabbing in my new family, so why do people do that? I also noticed this...If you are nice, polite and respectful, showing some manners, they do not really appreciate you for that. It is how much you earn. Anybody else got this feeling?

The American see fantastic manners etc as the norm. I have never had people be so nice to me (to my face), but have such reservations underneath.

If I don't gush my thanks and 'your welcome' at full volume then I am seen as rude.

If I say something is ok or fine - thats an insult. You have to gush and gush and say it's absolutely the finest you have ever tasted !

So when you are polite it is seen as the norm, the done thing. They don't trust that you mean it. As a Yorkshireman - if I say something is 'not bad' that is the greatest accolade I can ever make. An American would see that as an insult and that you hated it. Have you noticed that Americans love or hate - nothing in between. Its so extreme.

Everyone from former communist countries is appalled by the money oriented stuff. Thats because of fear. If you don't have money in the US you are in serious danger. It's just fear thats all.

Stuff em and keep your personal culture and enjoy the sky and the animals and some nice food. You dont need a flash car to be happy even if they do. If you play their game by their rules you will be unhappy. Be happy by your rules.

I live in a bubble in the same way that Pakistanis live in a bubble in the UK. I can see now why they do it. You have to in order to survive. I don't mean don't mix - what I am saying is don't force yourself to only get pleasure through the same things that give Americans pleasure. For instance - dont buy a billion vitamins and have surgery for everything. Do it the way your own values dictate. If your values change one day you can do it the American way then. Get surgery and big loans and a flash car and rings on every finger and a TON of food and to heck with everybody else in the world !

I have a great life in America but my personal culture will remain unchanged

...and I get pleasure by being slimmer by them haha !

[LA80 3]

The American see fantastic manners etc as the norm. I have never had people be so nice to me (to my face), but have such reservations underneath. Very true and it drives me nuts.

If I don't gush my thanks and 'your welcome' at full volume then I am seen as rude.

If I say something is ok or fine - thats an insult. You have to gush and gush and say it's absolutely the finest you have ever tasted ! I simply cannot pretend. And it is way too hard for me to hit that high-pitched tone they have when they adore something (or maybe they utterly despise it). "Oh, it is soooo wooondeeerful". And I am like: "No, it is not...." I do not trust that tone, probably because of the norm you mentioned, but I was not even aware of the same. If they are nice as the norm, if they smile as the norm, how can you know the true emotions?

So when you are polite it is seen as the norm, the done thing. They don't trust that you mean it. As a Yorkshireman - if I say something is 'not bad' that is the greatest accolade I can ever make. An American would see that as an insult and that you hated it. Have you noticed that Americans love or hate - nothing in between. Its so extreme.

Everyone from former communist countries is appalled by the money oriented stuff. Thats because of fear. If you don't have money in the US you are in serious danger. It's just fear thats all.

Stuff em and keep your personal culture and enjoy the sky and the animals and some nice food. You dont need a flash car to be happy even if they do. If you play their game by their rules you will be unhappy. Be happy by your rules.

I live in a bubble in the same way that Pakistanis live in a bubble in the UK. I can see now why they do it. You have to in order to survive. I don't mean don't mix - what I am saying is don't force yourself to only get pleasure through the same things that give Americans pleasure. For instance - dont buy a billion vitamins and have surgery for everything. Do it the way your own values dictate. If your values change one day you can do it the American way then. Get surgery and big loans and a flash car and rings on every finger and a TON of food and to heck with everybody else in the world ! Very well said. I know exactly what you mean. That is the best advice ever - be happy by your rules.

I have a great life in America but my personal culture will remain unchanged

...and I get pleasure by being slimmer by them haha !

Thanks!

[Liz Rodriguez 1]

I dont know why families do that here. It seems that sometimes the other people are jealous of the other person or dont approve of them or the way they are. My own family is one of those families that will tell you yes ok to your face and then as soon as you leave town or walk away it is stab stab stab. And I have noticed that it is not the older generations that do it, like my grandparents, it is my mom and aunts and uncles level. My aunts are bad at this. Really bad at this. Like they didnt make mistakes when they were younger. But we have all heard the stories. They condemned my mom to be the black sheep of the family after years and years of mental and physical abuse by my dad. Then she married again and went through mental with my stepdad. So I am not sure why the americans blame the victims of somethings. They are back wards about so many people. I would have to say this, the next time someone looks down their nose at for being an immigrant, ask them what their ancestry is. I bet there is more then just one country to be listed. Only few can truly say they are true native americans because the us is a blending pot of all cultures. I for one have plenty of ancestry and I call my self the American Mutt. I think the only nationality that is most predominate in me is Swedish an that is only because I can trace that just one generation back to my paternal grandmother. They always say to keep your friends close but your enemies closer. Well who could be closer to you then family. So dont be scared just tell the people you are here with your wife/husband and that if it was a choice you would go back to your home country but at this point in time you can not do that so they will just have to put up with your (nationality) butt. Im straight forward and blunt. I dont go ring around the rosey on any issues.