Do I have to love (or just like) the US of A?

[Darnell 8,478]

Do I have to love (or just like) the US of A?

No, not at all. There's no requirement, so to do.

[victorious 0]

All I can say is there's no place like home. Philippines my country is poor but there's lots of things in my country, that I can't have here in US or in other rich countries. *There is no place like home sweet home*

[JohnAnwesha 4]

I come from India, a developing nation,parts of which are still 3rd world,but the other parts are growing at an alarming pace and these days we have close to everything that the west has to offer.

But but,I love the USA.I have not lived for too long ,just 2 years a s a student.But it has left a very impressionable dent in my mind.I love the freedom,the creative liberties,the right to speak and protest against obnoxious policies.Hey atleast you can speak up.

My experience in India has been one where you are constantly running,struggling,surviving.Living takes a back seat.Yes I have family,but I do not belong to the great Indian joint family,just my parents.Yes health-care is way cheaper, but then I feel I do not fully trust it.Everything for me is tinged with red-tapism, nepotism and bribing.

I have not lived in a big city,hence the disclaimer for those Indians who think I am promoting a wrong image.I also would like to say not everyone here is like that.But something about our living situation sometime makes me helpless,like I could not try to give my family a great comfortable life.

But I could atleast dream of that in the states.No,I feel,life would not be easy there,but it does have all the accoutrements to make one's life a tad easier.

May be if I had lived in a country like England or Australia,it would have been a different matter.Like moving from one equal to another,but for me the leap will be a big one,where I get to live with my soon to be husband and also worry less about everyday living.

I had the best of times as a student,and I owe it to the nice people I met,the nice education system which constantly inspired me and the fact that I could make a difference.

[christeen 966]

It's a strange situation that many people here understand that most Americans might never grasp unless they have lived in other places... I am born and raised Floridian but had a real itch to see the world... I travel a lot and since meeting my husband in 2001, even more. I lived for nearly a year in his home town in Italy...

My husband and I constantly gets asked where we prefers to live and it is a difficult question... There are pro's and con's for each... After living in Italy and spending much time with his sister in Switzerland you can start to see the differences...

I always answer that in the US we have a higher standard of living (bigger homes, nicer cars, better job opportunities) But in Italy it seems to be a higher quality of life itself (knowing your neighbors, family nearby, slower pace, enjoying the small things like a long lunch and hour at the beach before going back to work, 1 month vacation plus 5 months paid maternity leave, stronger family bonds etc...)

However, I am an American thinker and was raised to think outside the norms, try what you love, take risks to follow your dreams and do what is in your heart... Whereas there is a more prevelant attitude of pick a career/workplace and be committed to it, dont rock the boat and I get looks of shock when I come up with an idea that it something different...

My husband is here now and luckily has a job that pays 10x what he would earn in Italy for the same work... so he enjoys the opportunity. But I know that one day we will go back over to Italy or Switzerland or Europe because that is where his heart is.

I dont think you have to be a USA, USA chanter to enjoy living here... Most countries do not have the same amount of nationalism (in fact in many countries it is frowned upon to be overly nationalistic, perhaps because of the fragility and wars which have changed the identities of many people depending on who won what war and what treaty was signed)... I know many (Europeans and SE Asians) who have had their nationality stripped, changed, borders re-drawn so many times that they look at national pride as support for a passing leadership...

But these concepts are very difficult for some, especially those who have not traveled, taken the time to meet people from other cultures or consider life in other parts of the world, to grasp and so these people can only see what they hold in their hearts and if everyone does not embrace the nationalistic pride for the USA... Then thier ignorant answer is "well then get the hell out and go home"...

To be an American is to be an immigrant, regardless of how many generations removed, we all come from somewhere else and need to keep that in mind and have tolerance for the differences and realize that it only strengthens our understanding of the world...

I embrace the things my husband has shown me and for his broadening my perspective of the world. I love my country, but I see that no place is utopia and there are good and bad. I also salute all of the immigrants here who have given up so much for the ones that they love and only wish the US would embrace those giving up their family, friends, careers and life the way most of those coming to USA have embraced this country... No flag waving and nationalistic chants required...

OK... She steps down off her soapbox now....

[nane1104 146]

"The USA" is really a bit off topic. Do you love Europe?

I love California, first and foremost because of the weather. After trying Florida on and off for 5 years, I moved to Southern California, because the weather is perfect here, all year round. I'd love to live in Santa Barbara, but I can't afford it, so I moved 30 minutes south, to San Buenaventura. Love it!

The two "other" two places I'd like to live is Monaco, which is even more expensive, and the South of France, which is actually still a candidate for retirement.

So do I love the USA? I don't know . . . yes, some things I love about it, quite a few, actually, but others I absolutely dislike, such as the healthcare system ($160 a month? Try $20,000 a year!), and the stupidity of so many uneducated people.

Do I love Europe? Well, I love parts of it, whereas other parts I don't like at all. I couldn't live in North Dakota, South Dakota, Montana, Wyoming, Belgium, Yugoslavia (I know), or Eastern Europe in general. If I had to, I would ask the Almighty to strike me down.

So I guess I love to live in a nice place, where the weather is nice, and nice people live. It happens to be in the USA, whereas my other two nice places happen to be in Europe.

Therefore, your question "do I have to LOVE the USA?" gets an "INVALID question" response from me, a question that really can't be answered. I love my wife though!

I hear you and I agree with most things you said. I too have been to placesin the USA as well as in Europe where I could see myself settling down and places where I wouldn't want to live.

Or, I'd have to have multiple residents- be in lovely Germany in the summer and further south in the winter.lol

Well, I guess my question I asked in the topic title was more a "sigh" because I am getting tired of comments from americans about me being happy to be back home for these three years the military has sent us here.

There are a lot of americans living here and I'd say the majority really enjoys it here but it ticks me off when I hear statements about how I must be glad to be able to go back to the States again next year.

Or they can't understand why I don't want to become a citizen, at least not yet. (That would be a whole different topic).

Even my husband looked at me in bewilderment the first time he asked me if I was proud to be german and I answered "yes". Years later and after living here he understands.

I honestly expected more negative reactions to my topic but I am glad there are more people feeling like me or at least understand where I am coming from.

I don't want to come across as anti american but there are just to many things that tick me off for me to chose to immigrate other than for my husband...

[TOM&Riz 4]

Personally, I love the USA and all the ideas this country stands for, but I am not crazy about the city where we live right now and the people we have met so far. I kinda gave up explaining to people that some things can be better (and are better) somewhere else. My in-laws, for example, are simply not capable of understanding that I had a life and a career overseas, that I did NOT hate the life back home and that I had to go through a pretty complicated and costly immigration process. On the other hand, I came here with 3 bags and close to 4000$, and 15 months after, both my husband and I have jobs, we were able to afford our own place, we bought furniture, and we plan to get our own vehicle soon. Hopefully, we will move to another city as well. This is something that America gave us and it would be impossible in my country. From our point of view, this is a huge success. However, from the point of view of our not so modest US relatives, we are still "dirt poor"! I just do not understand this attitude and probably never will.

God Bless you LA80 that is the American dream, and yes it is what the country stands for that Americans like you and me love, its not about the weather or the particular city, its about the freedom to make choices and know you have abundant oppertunity and should you need a hand up it's there. I am a American but I am living in a third world country now and I know why almost everyone here has a dream to come to America. I am not a love it or leave it advocate but I am a respect it and its people advocate

[JohnAnwesha 4]

God Bless you LA80 that is the American dream, and yes it is what the country stands for that Americans like you and me love, its not about the weather or the particular city, its about the freedom to make choices and know you have abundant oppertunity and should you need a hand up it's there. I am a American but I am living in a third world country now and I know why almost everyone here has a dream to come to America. I am not a love it or leave it advocate but I am a respect it and its people advocate

So well said

[sachinky 465]

I'll throw in my two cents here as well.

I lived in the U.S. for four years in a sleepytown called Ithaca in upstate New York. I LOVED it. Seriously. Best place ever. Beautiful scenery, great food, amazing, kind people that have changed my life in ways I could never explain, wonderful friends for life, and a great education. It could be that I have extrapolated my experiences in Ithaca onto the whole of the U.S. and I now have a generally favorable impression about the U.S. I have also travelled a fair bit there and never had any untoward experiences.

Did I love it because I come from a Third World country and our range of soda and ice-cream flavors could never hope to match an American supermarket aisle? Maybe. Maybe not.

I come from a relatively wealthy family here, we have chauffeurs and servants and I barely have to lift a finger. I went to the best school in the city. I agree that I come from the elite strata of Indian society and my life doesn't reflect that of an average Indian girl. I've also been blessed with progressive, liberal parents who've let me live my life as I've pleased. I'll have to agree with Parul in this, life is much harder in the U.S., in terms of having to do your own work, cooking, cleaning, laundry, preparing food, not having extended family nearby for support. Stuff is also much more expensive there.

Making this move is a big jump. Best to go with an open mind and no preconceived notions. Treat it like the adventure it is and embrace your experiences. Also, don't forget to bring your sense of humor.

As for the "Love it or leave it" crowd, while I don't agree with it, I can see why it happens. If an American family moved in next door and complained constantly about the heat, the pot-holed roads, the spicy food, the noisy neighbors, the poverty, I'd too be on the verge of asking them to take the next flight out. Nobody is forcing you to live where you are. It's your own choice and now you've made it. Best to be at peace with it.

My husband's visited Calcutta. He loves it and is very willing to move here. Which he will if, God forbid, the visa thing doesn't work out for us. Honestly, language would be the only problem since he speaks neither Hindi or Bengali. And possibly fitting in with the Bengali work culture. Obviously, the move is easier on me to make and not too much of an adjustment after four wonderful years there than it would be for him. So it makes sense for us to do it this way. Someday though, we'd like to live here for a few years.

The two things that I value in life and I find in abundance in the U.S. are privacy and independence. And of course now, my husband. Oh, and buffalo chicken wings with blue cheese sauce. Yum.

Edited April 6, 2010 by sachinky

[TOM&Riz 4]

I'll throw in my two cents here as well.

I lived in the U.S. for four years in a sleepytown called Ithaca in upstate New York. I LOVED it. Seriously. Best place ever. Beautiful scenery, great food, amazing, kind people that have changed my life in ways I could never explain, wonderful friends for life, and a great education. It could be that I have extrapolated my experiences in Ithaca onto the whole of the U.S. and I now have a generally favorable impression about the U.S. I have also travelled a fair bit there and never had any untoward experiences.

Did I love it because I come from a Third World country and our range of soda and ice-cream flavors could never hope to match an American supermarket aisle? Maybe. Maybe not.

I come from a relatively wealthy family here, we have chauffeurs and servants and I barely have to lift a finger. I went to the best school in the city. I agree that I come from the elite strata of Indian society and my life doesn't reflect that of an average Indian girl. I've also been blessed with progressive, liberal parents who've let me live my life as I've pleased. I'll have to agree with Parul in this, life is much harder in the U.S., in terms of having to do your own work, cooking, cleaning, laundry, preparing food, not having extended family nearby for support. Stuff is also much more expensive there.

Making this move is a big jump. Best to go with an open mind and no preconceived notions. Treat it like the adventure it is and embrace your experiences. Also, don't forget to bring your sense of humor.

As for the "Love it or leave it" crowd, while I don't agree with it, I can see why it happens. If an American family moved in next door and complained constantly about the heat, the pot-holed roads, the spicy food, the noisy neighbors, the poverty, I'd too be on the verge of asking them to take the next flight out. Nobody is forcing you to live where you are. It's your own choice and now you've made it. Best to be at peace with it.

My husband's visited Calcutta. He loves it and is very willing to move here. Which he will if, God forbid, the visa thing doesn't work out for us. Honestly, language would be the only problem since he speaks neither Hindi or Bengali. And possibly fitting in with the Bengali work culture. Obviously, the move is easier on me to make and not too much of an adjustment after four wonderful years there than it would be for him. So it makes sense for us to do it this way. Someday though, we'd like to live here for a few years.

The two things that I value in life and I find in abundance in the U.S. are privacy and independence. And of course now, my husband. Oh, and buffalo chicken wings with blue cheese sauce. Yum.

You Rawk sachinky ! what a great outlook and attitude. Honestly I think allot of Americans that have the love it or leave it attitude get it from the complainers, allot of whom are there illegally too, personally i have a distasteful attitude toward illegal immigrants that demand rights and use social programs and means tested benefits to suit thier needs and then complain and I have to jump through all these hoops like all the rest of you are doing just to live my life in a country with the person I love. And I agree mmmmmmm @ buffalo wings with bleu cheese dressing !!!!!

[lgg 2]

I agree, no beating from me either! I like america and I am thrilled to be with my husband here. I find where we live beautiful and all in all, it's pretty cool. but i'm not wild about living in America -- I had it pretty good in Canada and well, regardless of 3rd world postering and stuff, I think home is home and what you you grew up with defines you. I read a lot of posts here from people from third world countries that miss their native land like crazy.

I love Canada. I will always be a Canadian even when I get my citizenship, I'll be both. But yeah... I agree with the OP.

I'm happy here but if it weren't for my husband, I'd never live in the US or anywhere else, for that matter.

[TracyTN 237]

I fail to see the connection between liking life in the US and getting citizenship. Many folks do it simply to open up options for themselves - in the event they move back to their home country, and then ever wanted to return here, US citizenship makes that very easy.

[sachinky 465]

Interesting discussion so far. Just another few cents as well.

I honestly don't think that this is an exclusive deal. You can definitely love different places and the various aspects of life in those countries without compromising on your nationalistic pride or feeling like you "sold out" or that you "don't belong."

I love the U.S. for a myriad of reasons. I greatly cherish the sense of freedom and choice I have there. I enjoyed my time there and truth be told, I can't wait to go back to start living our lives together as husband and wife.

I also love India because at the end of the day, this where I became me. No matter how much I b*tch about the heat or the corruption, I will always be 100% Indian till the day I die. Denying or attempting to deny one's roots is a futile attempt. I can't live without chicken tandoori, cricket and B-grade Bollywood movies. Yes, there I said it.

Travelling to and living in different places is an eriching experience. We get to keep the things we like about certain cultures, and reject others that don't fit in with our world view. I will always look upon my time spent in America as a blessing that allowed me to become much more open-minded, consider things I never considered before and lastly, taught me a great deal about myself and ironically, about what being an Indian means. Things are a lot different when you're on the outside, looking in. Ithaca, NY will always hold a special place in my heart because that's where I grew up and tried to forge a unique identity for myself. No one place/country/culture is superior to another--it's all relative. They're just different from each other and that's what makes being a mixture so delightful. People are just people, at the end of the day.

Also, I find it ironic that certain posters from First World countries resent those Americans who think that they (the posters) should be grateful for the opportunity to live in "the land of the brave and free" but in the same breath assume that us lowly folks coming from India, Kenya or Bangladesh would be just absolutely thrilled to be living in the U.S. Seems like you're guilty of the same sort of behavior you accuse some ignorant Americans of.

P.S.: Tommy and Riza, thankyou!

Edited April 6, 2010 by sachinky

[TBoneTX 45,266]

Ithaca, NY [...] No one place/country/culture is superior to another--it's all relative.

Oh, but can you say (spell, admire, worship) "Canandaigua," si man?

[EmVee 4]

I'll throw in my less than experienced opinion here.

I've been here less than a year, but I can relate to the OP's points. I don't love the US, I don't think I should ever HAVE TO love the US, but I get a lot of criticism for voicing that opinion so I tend not to. That isn't to say everyone here is of that opinion; I live in Los Angeles for one thing, so people tend to be more liberal here. And I married into a Mexican-American family, so they definitely understand my attachment to my own country.

At the same time, I've had people tell me I should be happy to be living in such a "free" country and not have to live in "socialist Europe" anymore. Sometimes I say nothing, but a lot of the time I can't help but point out that, in a lot of ways, the US is extremely censored and 'less free' than a lot of Western European countries. I find that the kind of information people have about other countries here is not actually correct a lot of times. (For example, I've been asked if it's scary to live in a war-torn country. I was mystified until I realised they were talking about the separatist violence in Northern Ireland in the 1970s and 80s. When I told them that had ended a long time ago, and there is no war in Ireland, they refused to accept that answer.)

And I'd take socialism over shitty healthcare any day, thankyouverymuch. I never had to wait for hours to see a doctor at home, I was always treated pretty quickly the couple of times I had to go to the ER and my mom wasn't crippled with medical bills/insurance even as a single parent with 5 kids to look after. Over here, it's only myself and my husband but we can't even afford healthcare for ourselves right now. I'm terrified of getting sick or injured because there's no way we could possibly afford that.

Don't get me wrong, I don't HATE America. Like people have mentioned, the food is cheaper (crappier, but cheaper), there's a lot more diversity in terms of travel and some cuisine, and of course I'm with my husband and that's what matters most to me. But let's put it this way; I'm not sure I'd be happy to continue living here after I have kids, unless some things change DRASTICALLY. Maybe that means I just have to move to a different area here, I don't know. But certainly, LA is not a place I'd be happy to raise and educate a family. And this is one of the more liberal areas... I can't imagine living in a small, conservative community.

[nane1104 146]

Also, I find it ironic that certain posters from First World countries resent those Americans who think that they (the posters) should be grateful for the opportunity to live in "the land of the brave and free" but in the same breath assume that us lowly folks coming from India, Kenya or Bangladesh would be just absolutely thrilled to be living in the U.S. Seems like you're guilty of the same sort of behavior you accuse some ignorant Americans of.

P.S.: Tommy and Riza, thankyou!

I totally get your point here and I think I have to apologize because I said something like I might be happier or more grateful if I came from a poorer country. I said that because it seems like a very high percentage of immigrants or people trying to immigrate are from third-world countries so I am assuming there are good reasons (better job opportunities!?) for that.

I never said or thought and haven't read (at least not in this thread ) the term "lowly folks". Didn't name any specific country either. Just wanted to get that straight.