Do I have to love (or just like) the US of A?

[woki1986 1]

I would assume you LOVE the US considering you illegally overstayed your B1/2 visa for about 12 years *shrug*

O.o Hmm. Did I missread something somewhere? By the way, I really like your little signature picture, it's so cute

[Fandango 1,440]

O.o Hmm. Did I missread something somewhere? By the way, I really like your little signature picture, it's so cute

Previous posts, and in the poster's siggy. Yes, my comment was snide, but it's honestly the way I feel.

And ty! He is my dreamboat! Heh...some of my friends say we look like siblings tho, hah.

[woki1986 1]

Previous posts, and in the poster's siggy. Yes, my comment was snide, but it's honestly the way I feel.

And ty! He is my dreamboat! Heh...some of my friends say we look like siblings tho, hah.

Well I looked at his timeline but couldn't see what was wrong with it.

I'm sorry you're having a tough time.

Heh.

[woki1986 1]

Previous posts, and in the poster's siggy. Yes, my comment was snide, but it's honestly the way I feel.

And ty! He is my dreamboat! Heh...some of my friends say we look like siblings tho, hah.

The baby one is cute too Congratulations. It's funny how people can look similar at times.

[Fandango 1,440]

The baby one is cute too Congratulations. It's funny how people can look similar at times.

Oh, dur, that's what you meant initially, lolz.

Yeah, I wanted a cute-ish siggy that wasn't so graphic showing a fetus or anything

Well I looked at his timeline but couldn't see what was wrong with it.

I'm sorry you're having a tough time.

Heh.

Nothing tough about it but thx!

As I said, it's in his siggy and prev posts.

My 18-Year Journey

• 1992 Moved to California with a B1/B2 on Jan. 2
  1993 EOS (I-539) approved
  1994 Out of status starting April 12
  2003 Met wife in San Buenaventura
  2004 Moved in together
  2004 Won Green Card Lottery -- not eligible
  2005 Got engaged in San Francisco on November 26
  2006 Got married in Santa Barbara on August 25
  2007 Got 2-year Green Card as conditional LPR after AOS (I-130, I-485, I-765) approval on September 14
  2009 Got 10-year Green Card after ROC (I-751) approval on October 14
  2010 Eligible to apply for naturalization (N-400) and US citizenship starting June 14

Edited April 14, 2010 by Happy Bunny

[faryan 4]

Why do you need a sarcastic reply? I've found that when someone asks me a question I find extremely rude, I just look at them and say "why would you ask me that?" and patiently wait for an answer. Sometimes I think Americans are just nosey and/or ignorant and don't think before they speak. Perhaps it is because they grew up in a town where people all looked/acted/thought alike. I was lucky enough to grow up in a town where there was a Military Base, so I was diversed in A LOT of different cultures, however, not everyone is or has that kind of a childhood basis. Don't automatically, take offense. Ask why...then get mad if they give you a stupid answer.

I shall try and remember this if somebody ask me such questions in the future! Thanks

[woki1986 1]

@Rob and Jill:

I haven't seen 'When Harry Met Sally' but I 100% agree with that quote. I'd not found a quote that summed up how I feel right now up to this point. I have now.

Oh, dur, that's what you meant initially, lolz.

Yeah, I wanted a cute-ish siggy that wasn't so graphic showing a fetus or anything

Nothing tough about it but thx!

As I said, it's in his siggy and prev posts.

Mm. Cute but informative

Ah. I see. Out of status. Whoopsie I wonder how they got around that... It reads like he was off the face of the map for 9 years!

Edited April 16, 2010 by MattHeartCass

[Meredith_Brahim 2]

No beating from me. I agree. I don't HATE living here, but I also know that there are aspects that aren't as good (and in fact pretty shite) as in my home country and other countries I've been in.

I get sick of reading how happy I should be that I'm here... not because I'm not happy but like the OP, it's like they think I'm just SO happy to have left my country, that living in Australia sucks and I'm lucky to have escaped.

I get sick of reading how awesome the US is and how it's better than ALL other countries. Until you've visited and lived in each and every country you simply can't say that. There are SOME people who are lucky to be here and not in their country any more but to assume that all of us should be rejoicing is just wrong. I miss a lot about home. I find it hard to find negatives about living in Australia, but can find several (especially around food/health) for the US. I'm sure my husband would be the same if we moved to Aus (which just isn't a viable option at the moment). I look forward to him spending a lot of time in Australia and he will quickly understand why I prefer Aussie food and a couple of other things I complain about.

All that said, I don't HATE living here, but like the OP, I don't LOVE living here. BUT, I do think myself lucky every day that I can be here with my husband. The US is definitely less suckier than some of the other options out there though ....

I agree with you completely. As an American who has travelled throughout the world (including Sydney, where I really could live!!!), and who has some ignorant family members who think America is the only country there is, I appreciate the challenges and the best aspects of all countries. I've been living in France for the past 17 months and while it's a beautiful country, there's really no place like home. Thankfully at 'home', I live in an area of New Jersey where people are educated and open to different cultures. We're moving 'home' soon (pending that testy AP thing), and I can't wait for the conveniences of my small town, Sunday breakfasts at the diner, smooth beauracratic processes, and grocery stores that don't smell of rotten vegetables. Other than that, I'm grateful for my time away to appreciate what each country and culture has to offer and make me miss my sense of home even more.

[Vivi6 12]

The healthcare here scares the hell out of me. I'm constantly worrying what will happen if we get sick. I'm used to going to the doctor whenever I want, and not having to pay for anything and not worrying about being declined payment by the insurance agency for a most basic test. One thing I don't like at all is that a lot of Americans think that Canadian healthcare is the worst and they put it down, but the thing is they have no idea what it's like. There are also other aspects of Canada that are being looked down upon and I'm not impressed with that.

OMG are you kidding me? No matter if I can't even walk, I am jumping on a plavne back to Italy if I get seriously sick and so will my husband! My mother in law has cancer and when she was diagnosed they told her they could fix one of her fractures caused by the cancer but not the other because her insurance would not cover...I mean, a person just gets a potentially life threatening diagnosis and you go tell her that? How do they sleep at night, I don't know. Italy may be burdened by taxes but they take care of their people. They don't treat them like a business to make money out of.

[Vivi6 12]

I have been reading a few topics where the OP made some comments about disadvantages about living in the US or even becoming a citizen and got some very negative, not to say nasty reactions.

While I'd agree and say you shouldn't even think of Naturalisation if you don't really "feel" it and look more at the disadvantages than anything else, I can't say I don't understand how those OPs feel.

After our wedding and my arrival in the US I often got asked if I was happy to be in the US now. My honest response was that I was happy to be able to be with my husband now. I never said much more but often I was thinking "and no, I am not neccessarly happy to be here!

I did not DISLIKE living in the States but I sure didn't love it. Me being from Germany might look at it from a different point of view, maybe I would be happier in the US if I came from a very poor country or a country where I was opressed or anything like that but other than for my husband I would have never even thought about trying to live in the US.

So, I have to say I am having a hard time to say I love the USA.

I love many things about the country, I love to travel and so I am fascinated by the different sceneries,...I like how people in the US have no problem showing their pride to be american (something, Germans definitley have to catch up on), I like how some things seem to be less complicated but then I see a lot of things that really appall me.

I am aware that I ended up in a pretty shitty part of the country but I can't stop myself from thinking how a lot of things are just better in my homecountry. Now living back home and being able to compare and have my husband confirm many of my thoughts and opinions about things, it's pretty clear to me- I can't say and I am not sure if I will aver be able to say that I love the USA.

Oh, I can already hear some of you guys wanting to tell me to stay in my homecountry and nobody forced me to immigrate. I agree with that though I have to add that we didn't have the choice of him coming to live in Germany, so when we decided to get married, there was no discussion about me moving to the US.

Again, I don't dislike it, I am a very supportive military spouse, I sing the national anthem, I even get goosebumps when I hear it, I can even say I serve the United States being a military wive but

I can't get over the fact that I always feel like a stranger, no matter how hard I tried to get accustomed to my life in America.

Maybe the whole thing of people asking me if I am happy to be here now (many assume I automatically became a citizen upon marrying my hubby- often with a little questionmark in their faces whether that could have been my real motive) is already throwing me off because it often sounds so friggin' ignorant and stupid when people act like ever country OTHER than the United States is a third-world country and everybody HAS to be happy to leave and is given the "chance" of a life in the USA.

I don't want to sound to negative. We are going back to the States next year and I am looking forward to a new challenge, a new chapter in our life but I would be just as happy to go to Japan, Africa or wherever we'd have to go.

Ok, now the beating can begin...lol

No beating...I AGREE! I feel the exact same way...you are not alone!

[LT.Nora 7]

I always say that USA is weird. I love some things and hate others.

My favorite thing of all is Californian weather. I would take it OVER British winds and rains (lived there 3 years) and Lithuanian freezing winter ANY DAY. I have the luxury to call myself a Mountain or an Ocean person. I can also call myself a pool person (mhm, did I say POOL? I have never even dreamed about having one in my garden back at home). I love the scenic routes and amazing homes on the mountains that look like castles. I love that it is so easy to learn, drive and own a car. I love that if I feel lazy to cook dinner, I can go to a nice restaurant and I won't have to break my piggy bank.

But there are also things that I don't love that much......

Americans are very proud to be American. I have nothing against it and I admire it. My problem is that their proud comes with an absolute belief that USA IS THE BEST country in the world and they see nothing past the border. I get really annoyed when I tell people that I am from Lithuania and I am told that it must to be difficult to live in a third world country. A what? A third world country? I drove around Southern California and I saw places that would make a poor grandma from a little village with her wooden house look like Mrs Trump. I have never seen people live in trailers or sheds and I would say that people here are much poorer than I have seen before. LOL

Also seems like at some point there were lots of architects in here who were very talented in designing buildings in the most popular shape of the Box or a Square. I miss how in Europe you have thousands of churches and buildings that count centuries back and are eye pleasing. OK, America is young, but why, oh why, so square??

I don't like the health care in here and I will never understand how did they come up with that $3,000 bill for my cats teeth cleaning and exam? I don't understand how people in here can even afford to have kids? Starting with insurance cost for pregnancy and finishing with college fees. No wonder a random woman at a store once told me: "You have kids - You die".

Also people don't look after themselves, they eat poor quality food... The laziness to exercise or even move - I have never heard about drive-thru pharmacy, drive-thru post office or drive-thru atm in my life! I actually even saw a drive-thru kinder garden - what, you just pop your kid thru the window? LOL :rofl: It's almost like people would go to extremes not to ever take a step out of their car. And also who ever said that it is OK to go to public in your pajamas?

Also Freedom isn't free. Just because you can put a sticker on your car voicing your opinions, doesn't mean you have the right to free speech. I am crazy annoyed when in my favorite movies the characters have voice-overs of some ridiculous "swear" words a grandma wouldn't use I understand the need for censorship for kids until 10PM, but why do I need a censorship watching Sopranos at 12AM at night? I also don't need any intimate scenes cut out In the old days my mom would tell me to cover my eyes

Also people concentrate a lot on such areas that are based on their own belief and opinions - like abortions, gay marriages, funds for illegal immigrants, Obama's birth certificate and all that. They should spend all that energy and funds fighting against crime or something, you know something that is actually bad for EVERYBODY, not just is against their personal beliefs.

BUT I don't have to surround myself or to be friends with people like that. US is a big country full of intelligent people for me to be friends with Or if I don't feel like being friends with anybody, there is also plenty of land to live alone

US is unique in a way that you can make it "your own". I would say Lithuania is tough. And America? America is easy. There is limitless possibilities for everybody (except, as I found out myself, for illegal immigrants).

So if I didn't love it, I would have, for sure, left already. Why would I dehumanize myself as an illegal immigrant for anything less than LOVE?

But everybody is different and come from different places. So feel about US the way you want to and don't let anybody tell you otherwise.

[Vivi6 12]

I always say that USA is weird. I love some things and hate others.

My favorite thing of all is Californian weather. I would take it OVER British winds and rains (lived there 3 years) and Lithuanian freezing winter ANY DAY.

California weather is unbeatable! My mom was telling me she needs a summer dress for a wedding and that all the good stuff is going to be gone in a few weeks in Italy because they start end of season sales in July. I told her "I can find sumemr dresses all year round!". I am a firm believer that weather influences your life and mood so even though I pay a high price to live where I live, as of now I wouldn't trade it.

Just an ode to CA weather I guess!

[woki1986 1]

I'd never heard of a drive through pharmacy or bank either! That was shocking!

A drive through bank does actually make sense... You can just drive and deposit a cheque without having to walk into a bank and deal with queues inside.

I don't like the whole 'third world country' bit either... The UK isn't, neither is Lithuania... but please you uninformed American types... Don't call every country that isn't the USA a third world country! >.< (Can I point out that I'm NOT tarring everyone with the same brush. It's just the ignorant, assuming ones - like the rude airport security types or just people that think you've gone to the country, walked on in, got married and it's easy - that you have to endure.)

Healthcare is scaring me actually... As is the thought of what you mentioned, children. I'd love to have a child with my fiance, but healthcare costs would make that and the other things hard to deal with.

I know that that is what healthcare insurance is for, but isn't that an arm, a leg and a ventricle for that, too?

[Ryan_and_Priscy 16]

I have been reading a few topics where the OP made some comments about disadvantages about living in the US or even becoming a citizen and got some very negative, not to say nasty reactions.

While I'd agree and say you shouldn't even think of Naturalisation if you don't really "feel" it and look more at the disadvantages than anything else, I can't say I don't understand how those OPs feel.

After our wedding and my arrival in the US I often got asked if I was happy to be in the US now. My honest response was that I was happy to be able to be with my husband now. I never said much more but often I was thinking "and no, I am not neccessarly happy to be here!

I did not DISLIKE living in the States but I sure didn't love it. Me being from Germany might look at it from a different point of view, maybe I would be happier in the US if I came from a very poor country or a country where I was opressed or anything like that but other than for my husband I would have never even thought about trying to live in the US.

So, I have to say I am having a hard time to say I love the USA.

I love many things about the country, I love to travel and so I am fascinated by the different sceneries,...I like how people in the US have no problem showing their pride to be american (something, Germans definitley have to catch up on), I like how some things seem to be less complicated but then I see a lot of things that really appall me.

I am aware that I ended up in a pretty shitty part of the country but I can't stop myself from thinking how a lot of things are just better in my homecountry. Now living back home and being able to compare and have my husband confirm many of my thoughts and opinions about things, it's pretty clear to me- I can't say and I am not sure if I will aver be able to say that I love the USA.

Oh, I can already hear some of you guys wanting to tell me to stay in my homecountry and nobody forced me to immigrate. I agree with that though I have to add that we didn't have the choice of him coming to live in Germany, so when we decided to get married, there was no discussion about me moving to the US.

Again, I don't dislike it, I am a very supportive military spouse, I sing the national anthem, I even get goosebumps when I hear it, I can even say I serve the United States being a military wive but

I can't get over the fact that I always feel like a stranger, no matter how hard I tried to get accustomed to my life in America.

Maybe the whole thing of people asking me if I am happy to be here now (many assume I automatically became a citizen upon marrying my hubby- often with a little questionmark in their faces whether that could have been my real motive) is already throwing me off because it often sounds so friggin' ignorant and stupid when people act like ever country OTHER than the United States is a third-world country and everybody HAS to be happy to leave and is given the "chance" of a life in the USA.

I don't want to sound to negative. We are going back to the States next year and I am looking forward to a new challenge, a new chapter in our life but I would be just as happy to go to Japan, Africa or wherever we'd have to go.

Ok, now the beating can begin...lol

I agree with you.

In my case I am happy everywhere. Specially, be born in a third country, like Honduras with parents from Peru and Chile, and have other relatives already established with their families in Argentina, Mexico, or Japan, made me feel always I am just part of not only one specific country, but of the whole world.

Some of my friends have asked me if I would like to become American. If it is because I want to have the nationality, it is enough for me to be Honduran-Chilean, but I do not intend to get the US Citizen. I like the country, but I look forward not get stuck always here. With my husband we have talked about possibilities to show to our kids other countries. My husband has never traveled overseas, so he is the one that has said want to give to our future family what I had thanks to my parents. I respect the country, and admire many people that still work and fight for what made the country in fact. My American family is wonderful, I am grateful for having them. But I cannot wait to take my husband to many countries where I have my relatives, many of them already talk to him and he is getting encouraged to meet them.

Every place in this world has a paradise to be seen, and as my mother said always, that even in the poorest cabin might be a paradise if true love reigns there. My husband also says that his home is where I am (Sweet!). So there is no place like where we are together, and that what is make me like the place more, because I keep good memories, adventures and challenges knowing that we had each other.

Just after I got in this country, somebody asked me how Chile looked like... what I could say? I said: buildings and lot of people in big cities, beautiful landscapes, for me terrible winter, just like here! But yeah, both countries have a different culture, so both are interesting and important for me.

For you, welcome back to the US, and you are right to state that it will be a new chapter in your life and be happy just as you were in other places. Best wishes always.

[wong_watkins 1]

Just because you come from a "poor country" doesn't mean that you should just be so much happier to move to the USA. You were born in that country, you grew up there, you had your childhood memories there, it's where all your friends and family are. Just because you don't have a better lifestyle than some people in other richer countries don't mean you can't be happy. On the other hand, I still find a lot of people ignorant to not know that so many "poor countries" are actually developing so fast and becoming stronger and stronger.

I decided to give up everything back home and move here, all because of my husband. Do I love living here? NO. Do I hate it here? NO. I don't get depressed just because I don't love it here. I just have to say there is nowhere like home. HOME is not necessarily where you are living in, it's where you feel that you heart is at. To me personally even if I decide to be naturalized to become a US citizen one day, I still can't call myself an American. I just can't. That's not where my heart is. I was born a Chinese and I will forever be a Chinese.