Do I have to love (or just like) the US of A?

[nane1104 146]

I have been reading a few topics where the OP made some comments about disadvantages about living in the US or even becoming a citizen and got some very negative, not to say nasty reactions.

While I'd agree and say you shouldn't even think of Naturalisation if you don't really "feel" it and look more at the disadvantages than anything else, I can't say I don't understand how those OPs feel.

After our wedding and my arrival in the US I often got asked if I was happy to be in the US now. My honest response was that I was happy to be able to be with my husband now. I never said much more but often I was thinking "and no, I am not neccessarly happy to be here!

I did not DISLIKE living in the States but I sure didn't love it. Me being from Germany might look at it from a different point of view, maybe I would be happier in the US if I came from a very poor country or a country where I was opressed or anything like that but other than for my husband I would have never even thought about trying to live in the US.

So, I have to say I am having a hard time to say I love the USA.

I love many things about the country, I love to travel and so I am fascinated by the different sceneries,...I like how people in the US have no problem showing their pride to be american (something, Germans definitley have to catch up on), I like how some things seem to be less complicated but then I see a lot of things that really appall me.

I am aware that I ended up in a pretty shitty part of the country but I can't stop myself from thinking how a lot of things are just better in my homecountry. Now living back home and being able to compare and have my husband confirm many of my thoughts and opinions about things, it's pretty clear to me- I can't say and I am not sure if I will aver be able to say that I love the USA.

Oh, I can already hear some of you guys wanting to tell me to stay in my homecountry and nobody forced me to immigrate. I agree with that though I have to add that we didn't have the choice of him coming to live in Germany, so when we decided to get married, there was no discussion about me moving to the US.

Again, I don't dislike it, I am a very supportive military spouse, I sing the national anthem, I even get goosebumps when I hear it, I can even say I serve the United States being a military wive but

I can't get over the fact that I always feel like a stranger, no matter how hard I tried to get accustomed to my life in America.

Maybe the whole thing of people asking me if I am happy to be here now (many assume I automatically became a citizen upon marrying my hubby- often with a little questionmark in their faces whether that could have been my real motive) is already throwing me off because it often sounds so friggin' ignorant and stupid when people act like ever country OTHER than the United States is a third-world country and everybody HAS to be happy to leave and is given the "chance" of a life in the USA.

I don't want to sound to negative. We are going back to the States next year and I am looking forward to a new challenge, a new chapter in our life but I would be just as happy to go to Japan, Africa or wherever we'd have to go.

Ok, now the beating can begin...lol

[alex and astrid 38]

I agree...I like being in the USA, but I like being in the USA because that is where my husband is. I'm never going to love the US like I love Australia. People can't really understand what that is like unless you are an immigrant. I'm not ungrateful to be here, and am thankful that I have had a very easy immigration experience. It's like the saying goes - There is no place like home.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

No beating from me. I agree. I don't HATE living here, but I also know that there are aspects that aren't as good (and in fact pretty shite) as in my home country and other countries I've been in.

I get sick of reading how happy I should be that I'm here... not because I'm not happy but like the OP, it's like they think I'm just SO happy to have left my country, that living in Australia sucks and I'm lucky to have escaped.

I get sick of reading how awesome the US is and how it's better than ALL other countries. Until you've visited and lived in each and every country you simply can't say that. There are SOME people who are lucky to be here and not in their country any more but to assume that all of us should be rejoicing is just wrong. I miss a lot about home. I find it hard to find negatives about living in Australia, but can find several (especially around food/health) for the US. I'm sure my husband would be the same if we moved to Aus (which just isn't a viable option at the moment). I look forward to him spending a lot of time in Australia and he will quickly understand why I prefer Aussie food and a couple of other things I complain about.

All that said, I don't HATE living here, but like the OP, I don't LOVE living here. BUT, I do think myself lucky every day that I can be here with my husband. The US is definitely less suckier than some of the other options out there though ....

Edited April 5, 2010 by Vanessa&Tony

[arya 22]

I absolutely agree too. Especially on the fact that if I was coming from a third world country, I would be ecstatic to be here. But I love my husband and this was the only way for us to be together. I like it here, but in my heart I'll always be a Canadian.

[alex and astrid 38]

No beating from me. I agree. I don't HATE living here, but I also know that there are aspects that aren't as good (and in fact pretty shite) as in my home country and other countries I've been in.

I get sick of reading how happy I should be that I'm here... not because I'm not happy but like the OP, it's like they think I'm just SO happy to have left my country, that living in Australia sucks and I'm lucky to have escaped.

I get sick of reading how awesome the US is and how it's better than ALL other countries. Until you've visited and lived in each and every country you simply can't say that. There are SOME people who are lucky to be here and not in their country any more but to assume that all of us should be rejoicing is just wrong. I miss a lot about home. I find it hard to find negatives about living in Australia, but can find several (especially around food/health) for the US. I'm sure my husband would be the same if we moved to Aus (which just isn't a viable option at the moment). I look forward to him spending a lot of time in Australia and he will quickly understand why I prefer Aussie food and a couple of other things I complain about.

All that said, I don't HATE living here, but like the OP, I don't LOVE living here. BUT, I do think myself lucky every day that I can be here with my husband. The US is definitely less suckier than some of the other options out there though ....

I think the "we think we're awesome!" mentality stems from the overwhelming sense of national pride that Americans have. Which is cool, it's great to love your country and express that, lord knows that I am very proud to be an Australian and even more so when I am not at home. But it annoys me when people look down on me because I am not an American, or kind of infer that I'm not intelligent because of my nationality, and relate to stupid stereotypes when they talk to me.

I find it hard to see negatives about Australia, though there definitely are negatives! There are a lot of things that are a lot more expensive in Australia than over here. There are social problems in Australia. I strongly agree with Vanessa about food and health here. Food is cheaper here for sure, but everything is so fake and processed and sugary. I feel like it is harder for me to eat right here. A gym membership over here is half the price of what I paid at home though, hahaha.

Healthcare here is just insane. Alex pays $160 a month for health insurance, which thankfully he is a healthy man and rarely has to use. But when we were researching about insurance for the both of us, I feel like you get NOTHING for your money! I feel like woman get shafted by healthcare, especially when Alex and I want kids. We're going to need to start saving now for ten years in the future. I am genuinely worried about getting sick while living out here because I don't know what kind of effect it would have on us financially. While Medicare in Australia is not at all perfect and has its flaws, I know if I get ill, I'm not going to have a problem. Yep, Australians are dirty socialists and I don't care who knows it!

Overall.....yeah, I'll live here and be happy, but us moving back to Australia is a plan for sure. I feel like we would have more opportunities there.

[Jenn! 918]

I was born here and I don't really understand the national pride thing. I know some will interpret that as "America-hating", but it's really not that. I just see my being born American as a happenstance rather than an accomplishment.

[Otto 83]

There's a "Love it or Leave it" type(s) in every crowd (no matter what the country is). Those types of folks get ignored by me.

Edited April 6, 2010 by Otto und Karin

[raymaga 25]

I totally understand how you are feeling. I live in the U.S. because that's where we need to live to be together. I don't hate living in the U.S., but I miss my friends and family in Canada so much, no matter how much time passes.

During the 2010 Olympics, I was cheering for both Canada and the U.S...... but when it came down to a competition between Canada and the U.S..... I was cheering for Canada.

I will ALWAYS be Canadian first.... American second.

[LaL 418]

My husband is from a third world country and I can attest to the fact that he is not "ecstatic to be here", it just made the most sense for us to be together.

Edited April 6, 2010 by LaL

[arya 22]

I think the "we think we're awesome!" mentality stems from the overwhelming sense of national pride that Americans have. Which is cool, it's great to love your country and express that, lord knows that I am very proud to be an Australian and even more so when I am not at home. But it annoys me when people look down on me because I am not an American, or kind of infer that I'm not intelligent because of my nationality, and relate to stupid stereotypes when they talk to me.

I find it hard to see negatives about Australia, though there definitely are negatives! There are a lot of things that are a lot more expensive in Australia than over here. There are social problems in Australia. I strongly agree with Vanessa about food and health here. Food is cheaper here for sure, but everything is so fake and processed and sugary. I feel like it is harder for me to eat right here. A gym membership over here is half the price of what I paid at home though, hahaha.

Healthcare here is just insane. Alex pays $160 a month for health insurance, which thankfully he is a healthy man and rarely has to use. But when we were researching about insurance for the both of us, I feel like you get NOTHING for your money! I feel like woman get shafted by healthcare, especially when Alex and I want kids. We're going to need to start saving now for ten years in the future. I am genuinely worried about getting sick while living out here because I don't know what kind of effect it would have on us financially. While Medicare in Australia is not at all perfect and has its flaws, I know if I get ill, I'm not going to have a problem. Yep, Australians are dirty socialists and I don't care who knows it!

Overall.....yeah, I'll live here and be happy, but us moving back to Australia is a plan for sure. I feel like we would have more opportunities there.

The healthcare here scares the hell out of me. I'm constantly worrying what will happen if we get sick. I'm used to going to the doctor whenever I want, and not having to pay for anything and not worrying about being declined payment by the insurance agency for a most basic test. One thing I don't like at all is that a lot of Americans think that Canadian healthcare is the worst and they put it down, but the thing is they have no idea what it's like. There are also other aspects of Canada that are being looked down upon and I'm not impressed with that.

[raymaga 25]

The healthcare here scares the hell out of me. I'm constantly worrying what will happen if we get sick. I'm used to going to the doctor whenever I want, and not having to pay for anything and not worrying about being declined payment by the insurance agency for a most basic test. One thing I don't like at all is that a lot of Americans think that Canadian healthcare is the worst and they put it down, but the thing is they have no idea what it's like. There are also other aspects of Canada that are being looked down upon and I'm not impressed with that.

I agree with you.... I often get very negative comments about Canada's healthcare system.... but I do know one thing for sure.... I have had 3 children and one major surgery in Canada, along with hundreds of visits to the doctor and labs for tests... and I never ever owed one thin dime!!!! So, say what you want..... I'm going with Canada's healthcare system anytime!!!!!

[DanielParul 50]

I am from a 'so called' 3rd world country. I can tell you life was much more simpler and comfortable there, actually luxury lifestyle being a colonel's daughter and a sr. manager in fortune 500 company. I chose to come here because of Daniel's commitment to the military. I like it here but I am not ecstatic like most 1st world country people seem to believe. We both would settle down in India in a heartbeat but for the commitments here. I love my country but I do not sit here all day thinking of all the things negative about America. Thats why it just makes me wonder when people have easy and effortless immigration journeys to be with their loved ones, why can't they just respect their own decisions and stop comparing all the time.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

"The USA" is really a bit off topic. Do you love Europe?

I love California, first and foremost because of the weather. After trying Florida on and off for 5 years, I moved to Southern California, because the weather is perfect here, all year round. I'd love to live in Santa Barbara, but I can't afford it, so I moved 30 minutes south, to San Buenaventura. Love it!

The two "other" two places I'd like to live is Monaco, which is even more expensive, and the South of France, which is actually still a candidate for retirement.

So do I love the USA? I don't know . . . yes, some things I love about it, quite a few, actually, but others I absolutely dislike, such as the healthcare system ($160 a month? Try $20,000 a year!), and the stupidity of so many uneducated people.

Do I love Europe? Well, I love parts of it, whereas other parts I don't like at all. I couldn't live in North Dakota, South Dakota, Montana, Wyoming, Belgium, Yugoslavia (I know), or Eastern Europe in general. If I had to, I would ask the Almighty to strike me down.

So I guess I love to live in a nice place, where the weather is nice, and nice people live. It happens to be in the USA, whereas my other two nice places happen to be in Europe.

Therefore, your question "do I have to LOVE the USA?" gets an "INVALID question" response from me, a question that really can't be answered. I love my wife though!

[alex and astrid 38]

I agree with you.... I often get very negative comments about Canada's healthcare system.... but I do know one thing for sure.... I have had 3 children and one major surgery in Canada, along with hundreds of visits to the doctor and labs for tests... and I never ever owed one thin dime!!!! So, say what you want..... I'm going with Canada's healthcare system anytime!!!!!

My mother has experiences a multitude of health problems....cancer, mental health issues, and most recently, Multiple Sclerosis. She never has a problem with being denied treatment, has had surgeries, constant testing and monitoring, and gets the medication she needs - and never had to part with much money at all. She pretty much just pays for her meds. I shudder to think about the situation she would be in if she was in the US. I'm fairly sure we would be bankrupt.

I am from a 'so called' 3rd world country. I can tell you life was much more simpler and comfortable there, actually luxury lifestyle being a colonel's daughter and a sr. manager in fortune 500 company. I chose to come here because of Daniel's commitment to the military. I like it here but I am not ecstatic like most 1st world country people seem to believe. We both would settle down in India in a heartbeat but for the commitments here. I love my country but I do not sit here all day thinking of all the things negative about America. Thats why it just makes me wonder when people have easy and effortless immigration journeys to be with their loved ones, why can't they just respect their own decisions and stop comparing all the time.

I don't sit all day and think negatively about the US all day either, but if someone brings it up I am not going to be dishonest. I respect the decision we made for me to immigrate, and like I said, I am not unhappy. But I'm not going to stop missing everything from back home. It's no different from the comparisons I made while moving from state to state when I was younger.

[LA80 3]

Personally, I love the USA and all the ideas this country stands for, but I am not crazy about the city where we live right now and the people we have met so far. I kinda gave up explaining to people that some things can be better (and are better) somewhere else. My in-laws, for example, are simply not capable of understanding that I had a life and a career overseas, that I did NOT hate the life back home and that I had to go through a pretty complicated and costly immigration process. On the other hand, I came here with 3 bags and close to 4000$, and 15 months after, both my husband and I have jobs, we were able to afford our own place, we bought furniture, and we plan to get our own vehicle soon. Hopefully, we will move to another city as well. This is something that America gave us and it would be impossible in my country. From our point of view, this is a huge success. However, from the point of view of our not so modest US relatives, we are still "dirt poor"! I just do not understand this attitude and probably never will.