Planning the wedding before you get a yes?

[garnet80 1]

I'm having a difficult time trying to not lose out on anything... yet not do anything drastic before we get a yes. >.< I've seen signatures for K1 folks that don't have an interview date yet, with what looks like a firm wedding date planned. How can you do that? My fiance and I have a *hopeful* date...

And for those of you that are finished, how much planning/buying did you do before you got the yes?

What I've done is purchased my dress (it was the only one and I got a killer price), and emptied my fiance's future closet lol.

What I worry about is, losing the minister, losing our location, losing our photographer. I can't just expect they will be free with no notice, but they all need up front payments to hold the date of course.

I want to start getting more ready for him to move in. I don't want to jinx it either. So yeah, I am just curious how you all are handling this part of things.

[Rhiannercakes 14]

I bought my dress.

We didn't plan anything else until I was told yes.

Though, I didn't do as much as you're planning because we got married in Vegas, haha.

[ScottThuy 140]

Planning a specific date before the visa is issued/ in hand and the beneficiary has gone through the POE is a bad idea... hoping is a good thing, but one never knows what the consulate will do... or when they will do it... many folks here have gone through additional heartache due to plans being made including deposits and invitations being sent... only to have the case delayed

[Danu 19]

The biggest problem is not knowing when he will get the visa. For me, I was planning on moving and getting married in October of last year, based on getting an interview in Septemberish. At the time my NOA2 arrived it appeared most people were getting interviews though MTL in about 2 months or so. Then came me, I waited about 136 days from returning my P3 till I got my interview (returned it in July and got my interview in November. I really wouldn't make any hard plans, go ahead and plan, book if they will give you flexible dates, but know that if you are going through MTL, they can fluctuate a lot as to the wait time.

[brightskte 18]

We planned for early enough in advance that we thought we'd be finished. Of course it was risky, but we also made sure and had it in writing with our vendors that our date may change and they are all okay with it as long as they have the other date available.

So yeah, what we've done isn't for everyone, but it worked out well.

[HeatDeath 430]

Our planned wedding date, set in late August 2008, was September 12th, 2009. We filed our I-129 in October 2008. It was approved in early January 2009. My visa interview, in Vancouver, ended up being April 29th, 2009, and the visa was approved the next day. Prior to the interview, we had purchased the dress (no risk there - it would definitely get used at some point) and put some money down on the reception center. That latter one was admittedly risky, but it was way off into the future, and we did need to book the place so we figured it would be ok. We had arranged some limited flexibility with the final date with the reception center, and we also got a significant discount for booking a 2009 wedding prior to January 1, 2009, so that mitigated some of the financial risk.

Remember, though, I was teaching in a school at the time. We knew that no matter when the interview was, and no matter when the approval was, that I wouldn't be leaving until early-mid July 2009 at the absolute earliest. Indeed, we were more concerned, early in the process, about approval coming too early than too late! So our schedule was a lot more relaxed and flexible than a lot of people's here. Given that, and how far off in the future the intended wedding date was, we felt pretty safe about it. We figured that any bumps in the road or delays would undoubtedly have been solvable in that time frame.

Planning a wedding for 4.5 months after your interview date is probably pretty safe, as long as you're from a part of the world that doesn't habitually get multi-month AP delays after the interview. 1 month or less after your interview date is far far riskier.

Edited April 4, 2010 by HeatDeath

[pushbrk 12,876]

I'm having a difficult time trying to not lose out on anything... yet not do anything drastic before we get a yes. >.< I've seen signatures for K1 folks that don't have an interview date yet, with what looks like a firm wedding date planned. How can you do that? My fiance and I have a *hopeful* date...

And for those of you that are finished, how much planning/buying did you do before you got the yes?

What I've done is purchased my dress (it was the only one and I got a killer price), and emptied my fiance's future closet lol.

What I worry about is, losing the minister, losing our location, losing our photographer. I can't just expect they will be free with no notice, but they all need up front payments to hold the date of course.

I want to start getting more ready for him to move in. I don't want to jinx it either. So yeah, I am just curious how you all are handling this part of things.

Making non-refundable deposits connected to a firm date risks forfeiting the money. You're committed to marriage anyway, (right), so no risk in buying a dress.

[K and L 27]

Our K1 interview is next week. We have planned the wedding in August -- a year after we decided to get married, roughly 10 months after we started the visa process, right around 4.5 months after the interview, and about 7 weeks after our intended POE. But we've planned it in such a way that the date is very flexible - if the visa goes into AP or is returned or otherwise aren't approved next week and it takes so long that we are forced to reschedule, we aren't taking a financial hit. We talked to our vendors and explained that we cannot confirm the date until after his visa is approved, and we worked out something with all of them. Some are giving us a refund on the deposit if they've got at least 6 weeks notice, others are letting us wait 3 months ahead to put down the deposit and penciling us in until then, one has a nonrefundable deposit but will allow us to alter the date without a new deposit, etc. They're all very understanding, and it wasn't at all a big deal and knock on wood, we won't actually need to use any of the flexibility we intentionally made a part of the contracts.

Anyway. My advice is twofold.

First: pick a reasonable date. Do your research for your embassy (do they require packet 3? how long do they usually take to give you the date after it's returned? is ap standard for the area? are you in a high fraud area? is TB common in your area?), and consider your situation. If you have some red flags, make sure you have them addressed suitably before the interview. If you know you might have issues due to known automatic waivers (drugs, criminal background, previous illegal presence in the US, previous illegal work in the US), just ... don't even bother, the waiver process is not simple and it can take some time.

For us, when we picked the initial date, we knew that the CSC was cranking out approvals about 3 months after receiving the petition and Brazil was typically interviewing 2 months after that. Brazil typically approves without AP and from what I hear, rarely bounces back applications (unless they're required to or there's something seriously hinky going on). So we knew that we had, roughly, April through December (March+6mo->Sept+3mo->Dec) to play with if it took an average amount of time, and we knew it had to be after June anyway (he teaches). We decided that August should allow for a reasonable amount of time to pass in case there was some AP or what not, and would really be a better time for me academically speaking (as I'm a graduate student) - it'd let us have a little more time to ourselves.

Secondly, don't just pick your vendors blindly. Interview potential vendors. Get a bidding process, and let them know that a little flexibility can go a long way (such as deposits being refundable more than x weeks in advance, or being willing to pencil you in for a month and give you the opportunity to pay the deposit if someone else is interested in the date, etc). Talk to more than just one company; if one vendor hears that another of the same sort is willing to be a little flexible, they may be willing to offer the same flexibility to get your job. In this economy, if what you're wanting doesn't require actual commitment on their part (pre-purchasing goods, significant time in prep work/research), they really can't afford to say no flat out. There are always other venues, there are always other vendors (including DIY). It's like buying a house: you may love it, but if they're not coming to your terms, it just wasn't met to be, and you will find something that you will also love.

Oh, and linking the two together: requiring a specific date before you have your NOA2 is a bad, bad idea. There are several people in my filing month (10/09) that still haven't gotten theirs or are going through NVC still, whereas the majority have gotten to the point of having an interview date (if not a visa!) by now. There are so many variables, and yeah. Wait until you're through with NVC and your petition is on its way to the consulate to pick a date, and waiting until you've got an interview date (especially if your consulate has the packet 3 process) is even better.

Edited April 4, 2010 by K and L

[Alcheringa 39]

Financially committing to a set visa approval date is only wise if you have a crystal ball --

We received our VSC NAO2 in a lightning fast (ha!) 71-days, but that doesn't mean we can expect it to speed through the NVC or the embassy.

We have a plan for if it is granted, and we have a plan if it is not. The day we get the verdict, then we act on it. Easy.

Of course, I'm living abroad with my fiancée, and am not bound to having to return to the States if it isn't granted -- so that makes our options a little more flexible.

(Can't wait to buy those plane tickets, though!)

[rududu 2]

no making any palns or dates yet,just waiting when i will be done with the interview and everything then we will know better,right now we are about to sent in the i129f package,so theres still so much time ahead.

[eclipse115 1]

I'm having a difficult time trying to not lose out on anything... yet not do anything drastic before we get a yes. >.< I've seen signatures for K1 folks that don't have an interview date yet, with what looks like a firm wedding date planned. How can you do that? My fiance and I have a *hopeful* date...

And for those of you that are finished, how much planning/buying did you do before you got the yes?

What I've done is purchased my dress (it was the only one and I got a killer price), and emptied my fiance's future closet lol.

What I worry about is, losing the minister, losing our location, losing our photographer. I can't just expect they will be free with no notice, but they all need up front payments to hold the date of course.

I want to start getting more ready for him to move in. I don't want to jinx it either. So yeah, I am just curious how you all are handling this part of things.

We were really hoping for a date of 10/10/10 but it likely won't happen. I have put any non-refundable money down for venues or vendors. I make sure they can at least transfer our deposit to another date.

One thing we're definitely doing is having our wedding on a Sunday. There aren't many weddings on Sundays so with the exception of 10/10/10, I'm not really worried about losing my venue.

[Kukolka 8]

We're having ours on a Sunday too. There's a date that "would be nice" for us, but realistically it's probably a little too soon to get the visa, book everything and give guests time to reply. So we realise it'll probably be a month or so after that date, which will be easier because that gets into wedding off-season, and that's ok.

I bought my dress and accessories and am making the cake topper, since as others have said they'll be used at some point. For some things, we have first and second choices: venue, DJ, photographer, officiant. I've explained the situation to the vendors, and when he gets the visa, I'll find out what Sundays our first choices are available, and we'll decide then what date will work best for us.

[CDAgirlMI 51]

I bought my dress, & the bridesmaids got theirs as soon as I picked which ones I liked.

Everything else (church, reception, flowers, photographer)..I had places in mind & talked to them, explaining my situation. Since it was a February wedding, wedding places weren't too busy.

So when we got a "yes" I called all the places I wanted to do business with & booked it.

I couldn't take the chance booking anything without the final approval.

[garnet80 1]

Thank you all for the replies. It sounds like I've done the right thing so far. I will check with my minister and photographer and see if I can pay them, but make sure the date is flexible, and refundable.

Right now I'm trying to decide if moving things around in my house to make room for him will jinx it. I'm not superstitious, however, I don't know, it just seems like being overly confident can't be a good thing. >.<