Divorce

[landa 1]

bumppppppp

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Thanks for the help. Appreciate it. I am lost, What will happen when I get a divorce? Will I have to pay her alimony?? I know i will pay child support. Cufrently my income is from disability. She is making more than I am currently. I am not asking this to avoid paying for support for my child but wondering what is going to happen. The house, I put down substantial amount of money on, but got the mortgage only on her income because at the time I had no ssn or credit history. THe LO added me on the title later on. WHat is going to happen there? I live in california

Most of this is related to divorce and not immigration, but...

Alimony is almost unheard of in California. What IS sometimes ordered is called "spousal support". It's limited in duration (often half the length of the marriage), and limited in amount (only enough to offset any imbalance in income). It's also rarely awarded when there's little disparity in the wages of the two parties. It's also at the judge's discretion for marriages of less than 5 years. It would be VERY unlikely in a marriage of less than 1 or 2 years. I wouldn't expect the judge to order spousal support in your case.

Child support - definitely, and in accordance with the state mandated formula for determining the amount. It doesn't matter if you make less than her. You have an obligation to help support the kid. About the only way you'd avoid paying child support is if you had custody of the child most of the time. In that case, she'd probably have to pay YOU child support. California is not supposed to be a sexist state when it comes to divorce, but seriously - unless she's a drug addict or an axe murderer, she'll probably get primary custody.

The home is a complicated matter. Most likely, you have a claim to at least part of it. If it was purchased after the marriage, then it would probably be considered a community asset. You might have a claim to half of the equity. If you also signed the loan, then you are also obligated for half of the mortgage. The details of this will be worked out in your property settlement. Unless your divorce goes to trial (which is not common in California) then your attorneys will have to come up with a mutually agreeable property settlement to deliver to the judge.

I don't know how much of a down payment you made on the home. Unless it was substantial, it's likely you have little equity, if any. You might be better off letting her have the house and keep the mortgage payments.

[DanielParul 50]

I am sorry but I don't understand how i am taking my presence in the U.S for granted? The marriage is not going anywhere. I am not physically abused ( i am a guy) but for fure mentally abused. It was planned pregnancy by both us. She has turned out to be a control freak and it is getting worse each day. I cannot take this anymore abuse. I understand I will be a father soon. I feel very guilty for thinking about a divorce but I am not going to live my life with someone who will take away all the happiness away from me. What good will it do if i am in a unhealthy and unhappy relationship.

How was she before she got pregnant? Is is possible that the pregnancy hormones and the changes in her body are making her act this way. Some women just have very emotional and difficult pregnancies. If thats the case it can be sorted out by seaking medical attention and counseling. I don't know how much effort both of you have put into this marriage to try and work it out but is there really no way for both of you (definately including your wife) to put in some serious effort into trying to work it out for the sake of your unborn child and for all the work you both put to be together?

[nane1104 146]

How was she before she got pregnant? Is is possible that the pregnancy hormones and the changes in her body are making her act this way. Some women just have very emotional and difficult pregnancies. If thats the case it can be sorted out by seaking medical attention and counseling. I don't know how much effort both of you have put into this marriage to try and work it out but is there really no way for both of you (definately including your wife) to put in some serious effort into trying to work it out for the sake of your unborn child and for all the work you both put to be together?

I was wondering the same thing. If this was a planned pregnancy, I am assuming things between you and your wife looked much better then. What happened to change it that drastically? Is your wife talking about divorcing as well?

I agree with DanielParul- pregnancy hormones can mess with a woman really really badly. Ask my husband! Control freak sounds very very familiar to me and looking back, I have to admit I must have been a horrible person to deal with at times. And just a warning- it can stay that was for a while even after the baby when hormones are changing back to normal, so even if you really decide you want out, wait with the divorce talk until her senses return.

And just to add- eventhough the father to be doesn't have to go through the hormonal changes, you are in a very special spot too, you are gonna be a Dad! I think that can be equally stressful and crazy than going through a midlife crisis..lol

I'd really wish for the sake of your unborn baby, that you BOTH have some serious talk about the situation and if- what can be done to make it better, together! And if it seems impossible, seek help!

[landa 1]

I will not fight the custody of the child because she will bring up my disability and all that #######. I definitely will lose just because of my medical records. She has been employed for the past 11 years, not a druggie/not a party goer...

Yes, she is working now and has worked in the past

i am currently on long term disability. I do not work.

THe house is not upside down. We have 200k equity.

This is not a case of depression or a new change (new child). I found out after our marraige and my move. That , that is what her mom has done to her dad. She is trying to do the same to me. WHile he stayed and cut ties with his family and probably his happiness I am not going to do that. She is a very stubborn person, when I say how I feel, she just ridicules me and calls me rebellion kid. IF i ask "lets go watch movie, or "lets go out eat, or just go out to enjoy the sunshine" the answer is "NO we don't have money" Our monthly income is $7000. Our house is barely 2000/mo .

Before marriage she would tell me how she wants to have family and be around family as her family is not very close. But I found out that was all a lie, she wants a life like that and lead a life her mom has. Money is everything to them. It's as if it their religion. can't do this, can't do that, will not go see family member because tickets are expensive. that is family members they have not seen in years. I do not have a dollar in my pocket.