my husband ex wife

[fourjudge 0]

But if they share the kids equally, I don't understand why the support agreement hasn't been amended? If the previous agreement was $1200 a month with her having sole custody, the fact that the kids are at his house 1/2 the time now should change the maintenance agreement. If the new custody arrangement is unofficial, perhaps it's time to go back to court to have the whole arrangement modified to reflect the new changes. Although I would say, before that happens, it's probably best to start documenting when you have the kids to show a prior unofficial arrangement.

Years ago, with my ex who had two kids from a prior marriage, it was very frustrating, so I can sympathize! Everyone was more or less amicable, with the occasional flare up from the ex wife. Although we got to a point where there was mutual respect for each other, myself included. She didn't like me at first, but was adult enough to see that I was a good influence on her kids and we wound up with a nice pseudo-friendship. I digress.

My ex had agreed to give MORE than what the req's were...'after all they're my kids'...which I thought was very honorable. Much like scandal's post here. The maintenance agreement was VERY generous to her, to the point of it being nearly impossible for him to support himself for the first two years after the divorce. He took all their debt, and signed over the house, car, etc to her. Everything evened out and all was fine for a while. However, as they got older, we noticed that the kids were always very sloppy looking. They'd come over with no extra clothes, old tatty clothes on their backs, worn out shoes, holy socks, etc. We'd buy them new clothes every week, and they'd want to wear them home, and then we'd never see them again. The next week, it'd be the same thing. And the week after that, and the one after that... It got to the point that he told her that if we had to continue to get them new stuff every single weekend, that he would start subtracting that amt from the maintenance she got.

Things calmed down after that.

Anyways, good luck. I think mediation is your best bet. If she won't cooperate, then it's time to go back to court. But again, make sure you both start documenting all this...when they come over, when the ex wife acts up, etc. It may or may not help, but on the off chance it does, I say it's worth the effort.

Good luck!

Thank you so much for what you said.yeah i am on your situation before, and yeah she got the car, the things in the house, but half the price of the house.. etc. and yes the kids are kinda sloopy.. it makes me mad too specialy when i put away there things because i can see what they have... starting yesterday we also documented what we got for one of the kids from yesterday. and also we will document how many times we have them. and yes and the new agreement is not official. what was official which was on the divorce which is we have them every other weekend and everytuesday..( which actually what my husband wants on how much he can see the kids) but turn out to be more than that.. we also documented ugly acting to us. anyway what you said is really a big help.anyway there divorce wasnt settle at court it was settle by a mediator... and we went to a mediator and meet them their and didnot really work well. thank you

Edited March 29, 2010 by fourjudge

[fourjudge 0]

It looks like to one of my buddy situation.

She is still obsessed with your husband and try to control his life through kids.

She is happy when you husband is miserable, she is mad when your husband is happy...

Hang in there... Every state has different child support formula.

Do a search on internet for your state... if your husband is not making above a dollar amount (normally about $200,000.00), the state has to follow a formula.

.........There is no IF and BUT there........

If someone is telling you any other way, the state BAR association can be good help.

But if your husband is making more than the state dollar limit... Mediation and good attorney can help.

For example...

Some state will allow a child support =(set dollar amount + medical insurance + child care for smaller kids before school) = 1000+200+200 = 1400

Some state will allow a child support =(set dollar amount - medical insurance - child care for smaller kids before school) = 1000-200-200 = 600

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Hi thank you.. the way it is now is that the child support covers for the food, clothing and shelter.the rest which is medical insurance, child care, is paid by percentage we pay 75%... we also pay 100% of their phone bill... mediation wont work.. we tried it.. so perhaps were opt to lawyer.. thanks again so much

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

She is a b1tch. Deal with it. You married a man with baggage. Deal with it. He has children he needs to support and his ex-wife is going to make life as miserable as possible for you, like she did for him before he divorced her. This is why men divorce American women and marry foreign women. If he didn't tell you that before, it is bad on him, but now you have to deal with it.

The only way for her to get less money is for YOU to get less money by him making less money. Now let me tell you what happens...

1. He takes a cut in pay and goes back to court for a reduction in child support, you have less income

2. She contests it

3. You pay a lot of money for an attorney from your lower income

4. She uses the child support you pay to hire an attorney

5. He eventually gets a $200/month reduction in child support but it costs you $5000 in attorney fees

6. You now have to report your income to her every 6 months and she will go right back to court as soon as there is a raise in pay

When the children are 18 he will no longer have to pay (except maybe for college costs) and you can tell her to pound sand up her @ss. Until then, deal with it.

How many months until the youngest is 18?