What a JERK!

[NatPatBen 3]

First time Ry flew back from London, the IO in Atlanta asked him where he'd been. He told him and the IO commented that LDRs aren't cheap, how'd he afford the fare? He replied that I had (since he was covering his 3 weeks of no income and ongoing bills) and the IO went, "Wow. Where'd you score her? I want a foreign chick who pays for me to travel the world. If you ever get bored of her, pass her on will ya?" Friendly chitchat, or really rude? Ry said it made him feel like some kind of kept man or male escort

I, the USC, was asked that same question when returning to the USA after my 7th trip to Jamaica. I found it questionable and wondered if that's a standard question (esp for the USC).

But from reading the posts in this thread, especially Rito's, I realize it wasn't that bad & could've been MUCH worse.

[justashooter 430]

Not when these people represent our government and have a power over who comes into the country and who doesn't

agreed that behaviour in unifrom should be limited to performance of duties. unfortunately, few law enforcement officers restrain themselves appropriately. some do, but many don't.

[aishahossam 1]

i had a bad experiance in amsterdam when i was on my way to egypt to marry my husband, when i was getting ready to get on the plane and going through custums or whatever a man pulled me out of line ,, ask me why u going to egypt? i said to marry my fiance, he was like "oh u are one of them women?" i was getting angry but trying to hold my composure, i said what kind of woman do u mean? he said " sweetie youll figure it out after you bring him to usa and he laughs and says oh in a couple of years youll get this meaning" i was furious!!!!! i said are we done cause i need to get in line to catch my plane and hes looking at my passport and says wait here, so i waited ,, then a woman came to get me and took me in this lil room thing she said the man dont believe this is your picture in passport, i said miss,, i took this pic befor i became a muslimah and i know i look different with hijab on but look at my face u can see its me, she said just take off ur hijab and let me look, soooooooooo i did it real quick and she said ok you can go now,,, i was so angry,, i got her name and i got his name, went to egypt called the airport and made a big stink about it, i dont know if it did any good butif people dont start complaining about how people are treated at the aireports it will continue on so my advice isss, complain and tell them !

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

So the guy said that all K-1s want a Green Card once they move to the US.

Okay, was he mistaken then? Do not all K-1s want a Green Card after moving to the US?

Or was he right, stating the obvious, as most K-1s do indeed want a Green Card after moving here?

So if he stated what is correct, what is all the outrage about? Speaking the truth? Not smiling? Being a bad joke teller? I see this as a lot of smoke over nothing.

[Jewel-8 21]

Okay, I love you Gary and all the witty posts you have put on VJ since I joined...but I want to point out that Oriental as used to describe individuals is as outdated as "negro" or "colored." In appropriate context it is used to describe objects and locations, and not as a substitute for "Asians." However, you did qualify its use in the OP's frame of reference as 'not acceptable.'

Ok, I didn't know that. I've used that term a lot and thought it was respectful. WOW! VJ is a place to learn.

Gary did get the point across though. British can have a reputation, but not good to say it to someone in a professional capacity.

[Kevbev09 1]

I feel your pain Justine.. they have a sign right up on my regular POE that says I have the right to be treated respectfully but quite a few customs officers are pretty rude. At least one has straight out told me that my fiance is a liar, one asked so many ridiculous questions and harassed me so much that I started crying, then he told me "I'm not going to talk to you until you stop crying, go sit down" and refused to speak to me anymore.. Now I just let it all blow past me, people are going to be rude no matter how much you complain about them.

[John and Camie 39]

For awhile the questions I was asked when entering England got more and more personal. This took the cake.

Officer: "Why are you entering the United Kingdom?"

Me: "To visit my boyfriend."

Officer: "Is he British?"

Me: "Yes."

Officer: (looks at my passport) "You've visited him in England a lot."

Me: "Yes, we've been dating since 2005."

Officer: "Are you going to get pregnant and then just not leave England this time?"

Me: ...

Oh ... I FEEL YOU ON THIS ONE!!

I just barely made it into England. However, when John came back with me, the officers at POE were very sweet, welcoming him to America.

I thought it would be the other way around. I mean, NO ONE is ever nice at LAX.

[John and Camie 39]

So the guy said that all K-1s want a Green Card once they move to the US.

Okay, was he mistaken then? Do not all K-1s want a Green Card after moving to the US?

Or was he right, stating the obvious, as most K-1s do indeed want a Green Card after moving here?

So if he stated what is correct, what is all the outrage about? Speaking the truth? Not smiling? Being a bad joke teller? I see this as a lot of smoke over nothing.

C'mon, now. You know they didn't deserve to be treated like that.

Every USC wants their fiance/spouse/etc. to be treated well at POE, it's a special moment that can be ruined if customs don't stick to the script and just do their jobs.

[SunDrop 59]

I just barely made it into England.

Must be an American Chance thing Ry was detained at Gatwick for 4 hours on his first visit. The amount of totally ridiculous questions we were asked, including "so, if this works out, and you decide that he's moving here, what kind of visa are you going to get for him?" I thought about that answer for a second, and replied, "the right one! but if you don't let him in the country, we'll not meet and if we don't meet then we can't know if this is going to work out, can we?" He actually said, "good point." LMAO

To be honest, they can ask me anything they like and be as rude as they want, I'm just sooooo glad that it'll be the last time I ever have that horrible, deep, lurking fear I'm going to be refused entry. Next time I leave the country after my K-1 POE, it's with a CGC.

[Justine+David 218]

So the guy said that all K-1s want a Green Card once they move to the US.

Okay, was he mistaken then? Do not all K-1s want a Green Card after moving to the US?

Or was he right, stating the obvious, as most K-1s do indeed want a Green Card after moving here?

So if he stated what is correct, what is all the outrage about? Speaking the truth? Not smiling? Being a bad joke teller? I see this as a lot of smoke over nothing.

You're right about K1s wanting green cards, but he also said that they "turn tail" once they get the green card, i.e. just using the USC for a green card in a fraud relationship. That was what made me angry.

[woki1986 1]

When I went out to Seattle last time, I had to go through Detroit - it was a stop off. The officer asked me where I was going, what I was doing in the USA. I said that I was going to spend christmas with my fiance.

'Why are you here?'

'I'm getting a connecting flight to Seattle.'

'Why are you going there?' Said in a confrontational way.

'I'm going there to spend Christmas with my fiance.'

'How did you meet her?' Not said in a nice way.

'Online.'

'Oh, really?' Again, like it was all some sort of hoax and I was the lowest form of pondlife.

'What do you do for a living?'

Long explanation, end up showing the letter that I got before I left stating that I had booked leave and was expected back at work in January.

I'm sure she thought that I was just going to disappear - the word 'fiance' screams 'He's going to come into the country, get married and disappear.' I hate border control because they make you feel guilty just for breathing. I know that immigration and keep illegals out and everything is important. Of course it is. Just the judgements that are handed out by people that don't know you, your situation and how you got to be there...

I hate how judgemental people can be. Reading some of these posts - wow, it's shocking. I'm glad that there IS a VJ here to vent to and that there are others that understand. Long Distance Relationships DO work.

Yes, I want a green card, however I want to get it and stay with my fiance. That's the whole damn point. No disappearing, no turning tail.

[Sc0tt28 26]

Oh ... I FEEL YOU ON THIS ONE!!

I just barely made it into England. However, when John came back with me, the officers at POE were very sweet, welcoming him to America.

I thought it would be the other way around. I mean, NO ONE is ever nice at LAX.

When I was in the Army stationed in Germany, I flew home on leave into JFK and the Immigration officer (this was in 2001, before they became CBP) said "Welcome home". I felt the tears forming and so I just said thanks and walked away before I reached across the counter and hugged the poor woman. lol I hadn't been home in over a year and a half and it was good to be home, if only for a month.

[Gemmie 142]

Wow, I'm shocked at some of the stories here.

I've gotten my fair share of judgemental IOs at the US border too, sometimes a small thing like asking how I managed to get the money when I'm so young, but other times I've been asked how my parents feel about me coming to the US, and a comment about how I'm too young to be getting married. All of these times I was over 18, the last one being when I was 22. I felt like telling them to mind their own da*n business, and telling the last guy that perhaps the US should make it allowed to be together without being married then, but was nervous enough about them letting me in, so just smiled sweetly and responded as they wanted.

Hubby never had much trouble at the UK border other than one time when they started asking questions all about me, but I can kinda understand those. They've never made any personal judgements.

I always get comments from the taxi driver on the way to the airport though. Again, asking what my parents think about me having a US fiancee, and commenting that if I were their daughter, I wouldn't be going anywhere. I've also been told that I'm stuck in America if it doesn't work out, and asked what I'm going to do.

Edited March 30, 2010 by Gemmie

[SunDrop 59]

I've also been told that I'm stuck in America if it doesn't work out, and asked what I'm going to do.

I've been asked what I'm going to do if it doesn't work out. But not said as a casual question, but rather in that appalling, high pitched voice that extends with an extended 'o' on the do: what will you dooooo?!

Erm, come back? It's not the effing Hotel California, where you can check in but never leave. There are flights that go the other way ya know... honestly, you'd think I was announcing that I was abandoning civilization and moving in with a tribe of loin-cloth toting, cannibal, rain-forest pygmies.

[Candy/SadanNasir 2]

I'm not in his defense but don't you think people are allowed to say what they want to say? If you know your engagement is real and you two love each other then ignore it... Just my opinion.

I would support your decision to file a formal complaint.

Yes, everyone is entitled to their opinion. However, when one is at work, it is wise not express all opinions as the primary purpose of work is to do just that: WORK.

Ignoring his comment is good advise, reporting his comment is your right and I would if I were you.

Peace