Yardies a home and a farrin, Part 25!

[DaDa 1]

Happy Easter weekend to everyone, I hope everyone is doing well. I am doing better and better each day and the baby is great she only cries when she is hungry.

I have a question to ask all of you, I know this is the best place for any type of advise. Its hard to get friends and family involved with maritial issues cause then they just hate your spouse. Its about my hubby. Yesterday I had an emotional breakdown at the supermarket. First of all the dr took me off my pain meds until I go to the office for a visit. I have been toughin it out for about 2 days now and it has been tough but I am dealing with it. Anyway I have been in moderate to severe pain( I got a ce-section a week ago). Yesterday was a severe pain day, My stiches hurt, I am breastfeeding so my boobs hurt, I am still having after birth pains, and to top it off I slept bad so my neck was killing me. I was complaining and hubby didnt even look at me, I asked for a massage and I got nothing. He is not the most sensitive person in the world, so I just said whatever and moved on. We went to the grocery store just to pick up a couple of items while he stayed in the car with the kids. I had to go because I had to use my card that he was not a signer on. Anyway I couldnt find what I was looking for(mind you I am in pain) I wanted to cry in the store. Finally I found it and a worker helped me out so I was happy. I got back into the car and told him " I am in so much pain I almost broke down crying in the store" He didnt say anything so I asked him if he was mad at me and if he didnt have any sympathy for me, you know what he said " hurry up and do what your doing so I can get the baby out of the dark" Girls I was ready for a Divorce, I broke down badly, I havent cried like that in a long time. When he asked me whats wrong I just told him to leave me the hell alone and we havent spoken since. Today is our 3 year anniversery from the day we met and I am so hurt. I dont know what to do??? HELP

Sponge (((hugs))) man I wish I was anywhere near FL right now I would be ova der in a heartbeat helping yuh out!!! First of all it does sounds like you need a minute. So do you have any friends or family who can come over for a minute so you can sit down? I say from here on out don't move unless its for the kids. I think you should call your dr and tell them how much pain you are in. They can probably call you something in over the phone. If you tell them you're hurting enuff I'm sure they will.

As far as hubby he is just being insensitive. My ex was insensitive too because had a high tolerance for pain so when I complained he acted like I was being a drama queen. Yeah I wanna see a cantaloupe come out your hole and see how you feel . You had every right to break down plus your are sometimes more emotional after having a baby any way. Something about pregnancy and birth just makes you sometimes cry at the drop of a hat. I'm glad you told him to get the hell away good for you. Once your calm I would say talk to him to see what's his beef. But in the mean time make sure you take care of you.

Umph he got me hot acting like he had the baby tell him he better get his ish together or else his hand is about to be em BEST Friend!!!

[DaDa 1]

You ladies are wondeful, but I would handle things a little differently because I believe you can show a person better than you can tell them, especially when you've explained things over and over again. Im older and Im just not gonna tolerate a whole lot of bullshyt.

Love, you shouldn't be doing a whole lot of nothing because you just had a baby and that alone changes your body. You don't want to cause more damage. Let me tell you I had one c-section and ended up being re-admitted to the hospital because I had an infection and I had to be cut back open and they had to irrigate the wound and use binding to help me close back up. It was traumatic!!! like ShaNette said, take Alleve and try to sit your butt down somewhere (as much as you can) being a mommy. You need to put the cards on the table and let him know what's what. If you gotta cry, yell, scream to get your point across then do so. With men you got get a little crazy on their rasses so they understand! Then pray on it after you've said your peace.

I know personally, Ive spent too much time coddling, explaining, being sensitive, walking on eggshells blah blah blah. But there comes a point and time where enough is enough. Just as much as you try to "let them be the man", you deserve respect and honor just as well. Pain aint no friggin joke. My husband is not sensitive either and it pisses me the hell off cause when you was running up in my azz in JA you was as sensitive as they come. You gotta stand your ground when you feel as though you are right and not being heard.

I know alot of you may not agree with me but Im just giving my own opinion. In the long run LoveSponge, the decision on how you handle it is yours to make sis and i wish you the best of luck.

Yup Tee I'm convinced..Yuh need a check!!!!!

Whoo I say I agree with what you said men just don't know what's it like to have a baby. They could neva deal with it that is why God made it where women give birth. If it was up to them I bet 1/2 of us wouldn't be here right now!!!

I had all vaginal births and it hurt afterwards is I can't even imagine having a C-Section!!

[NatPatBen 3]

... When you see "Why did I get married 2" you will understand.. Just pay attention to Marcus and Angela!

We watched the first one last night, as Steven hadn't seen it. He LOVED it. We may go see the second one tonight after church.

Lovesponge, I'm sorry to hear what happened. As many have said, it does seem men aren't as sensitive as they should be when it comes to pain. (Yet they want top sympathy if they feel anything less than 100%, at least in my case.) I remember when I had my tonsils removed and ran out of pain medicine. I cried it hurt so bad, so I can't imagine how much greater the pain is when having a baby.

You ladies are wondeful, but I would handle things a little differently...

MrsTee, I cracked up when I read that, cause I can just imagine you shaking your head reading the other advice thinking "These ladies are too soft. Where is their inner Rashida?"

[My4rmylife 0]

What's wrong??

Dats cause since ur hubby has come you act like yuh na have time for us anymore. See how you do us just use us and lose us.... LOL

No I'm joking how are things going?

girl so busy for a month my mother in law was here so i was working and entertaining... now im so tired as soon as i try to catch up it dont work lol... its great being married though.. jus been feeling drain and have had terrible headaches and staomach aches for the past two days..

[Shemmy 4]

You ladies are wondeful, but I would handle things a little differently because I believe you can show a person better than you can tell them, especially when you've explained things over and over again. Im older and Im just not gonna tolerate a whole lot of bullshyt.

Love, you shouldn't be doing a whole lot of nothing because you just had a baby and that alone changes your body. You don't want to cause more damage. Let me tell you I had one c-section and ended up being re-admitted to the hospital because I had an infection and I had to be cut back open and they had to irrigate the wound and use binding to help me close back up. It was traumatic!!! like ShaNette said, take Alleve and try to sit your butt down somewhere (as much as you can) being a mommy. You need to put the cards on the table and let him know what's what. If you gotta cry, yell, scream to get your point across then do so. With men you got get a little crazy on their rasses so they understand! Then pray on it after you've said your peace.

I know personally, Ive spent too much time coddling, explaining, being sensitive, walking on eggshells blah blah blah. But there comes a point and time where enough is enough. Just as much as you try to "let them be the man", you deserve respect and honor just as well. Pain aint no friggin joke. My husband is not sensitive either and it pisses me the hell off cause when you was running up in my azz in JA you was as sensitive as they come. You gotta stand your ground when you feel as though you are right and not being heard.

I know alot of you may not agree with me but Im just giving my own opinion. In the long run LoveSponge, the decision on how you handle it is yours to make sis and i wish you the best of luck.

I agree with you but most times you cannot control your emotions while pregnant or just having a baby.

My situtation - I have no problem cussing out my hubby but since I've been pregnant..I cry a river all the time. Sometimes I wish I wasn't pregnant for 2 minutes so I can let him have it raw. The few times he was insensitive...I just cried and blocked his a@@ out for days. Eventually I wrote him an email how I felt and what my body is going through. Not sure if it was the silent treatment (cuz he knows I'm mentally unstable ) or the email but it worked. Not sure how I feel once the baby comes...hopefully back to my crazy self.

Love - I feel for you The day I found out I was pregnant I found a pregnancy buddy (my cousin) who is a mother also to share everything with because sometimes men just don't get it. Take good of yourself...you need to heal properly.

[Shemmy 4]

My manners...I forgot to say Hello. Hope everyone is well.

Edited April 3, 2010 by Shemmy

[ShaNette 4]

Hey Yall

I am so STRESSED today . Just everything is getting on my nerves. To make matters worse we got a letter from Immigration stating that we have an Interview! Like why out of all the millions of applications do we have to have an interview? I know thats the normal process but why couldn't we be one of the select few who doesn't have to have one! Hell I live closest to the CSC anyway. I hate having to question if I know everything there is to know about my Husband. I had enough of that at the K-1 interview. And what are they going to be asking? Mannnnnnnnnnnn...................

OKAY.................

I'm done ranting. I'm going to pull my big girl panties up and prepare for the interview. It's May 4th

[Shemmy 4]

Hey Yall

I am so STRESSED today . Just everything is getting on my nerves. To make matters worse we got a letter from Immigration stating that we have an Interview! Like why out of all the millions of applications do we have to have an interview? I know thats the normal process but why couldn't we be one of the select few who doesn't have to have one! Hell I live closest to the CSC anyway. I hate having to question if I know everything there is to know about my Husband. I had enough of that at the K-1 interview. And what are they going to be asking? Mannnnnnnnnnnn...................

OKAY.................

I'm done ranting. I'm going to pull my big girl panties up and prepare for the interview. It's May 4th

We had an interview as well. You will be fine. Have you started collecting evidence? No need to worry...your babies alone are alot of proof

[ShaNette 4]

LOL, thanks.

I have all the evidence I sent with the application, but I will be gathering more. I would rather have too much info on us to little.

[kjenkins86 5]

Shanette don't stress about the interview. Just start gathering your evidence and show them your kids, that'll be enough evidence

MrsTee, sometimes playing tough don't achieve nothing with men either, they change when they want to...

Shemmy, is this your first child?

Later y'all, gonna eat dumpling an saltfish with okra and play monopoly with G.

[justucia 0]

Hey Yall

I am so STRESSED today . Just everything is getting on my nerves. To make matters worse we got a letter from Immigration stating that we have an Interview! Like why out of all the millions of applications do we have to have an interview? I know thats the normal process but why couldn't we be one of the select few who doesn't have to have one! Hell I live closest to the CSC anyway. I hate having to question if I know everything there is to know about my Husband. I had enough of that at the K-1 interview. And what are they going to be asking? Mannnnnnnnnnnn...................

OKAY.................

I'm done ranting. I'm going to pull my big girl panties up and prepare for the interview. It's May 4th

girl- listen to me!

we had an interview on march 18th, it seriously was the EASIEST THING EVER!!!!

i think going to the bank and withdrawing money is more stressful than the interview

i was like you- kinda freaking out

got all our paperwork together- when we finally got there the only thing she asked us for was our passports, asked us how we met and if my husbands son was planning on coming

you can read more of the interview under detroit interview for k-1

the lady was so nice! she even told me that i should consider applying for a job with uscis b/c i had such an understanding of the process

dont stress

[Lovesponge 0]

Thanks for all you replys ladies, I feel so much better now. Mrs Tee I was cracking up when I read yours and you know its true. My hubby was so sensitive when he had his eye on the prize when he was in JA, I dont know what happened to him now. I keep saying I cant wait to get back to my normal self so I can be like to h#ll with you and go about my merry way withour being so emotional. Sometimes I think I give too much but from reading your posts I guess they are mostly all a bunch of selfish @ssholes at times.

[Shemmy 4]

Shemmy, is this your first child?

I have a 17 year old daughter. This is hubby's first baby.

I can't wait until I go back to myself. These mood swings are crazy

[justucia 0]

Sometimes I think I give too much but from reading your posts I guess they are mostly all a bunch of selfish @ssholes at times.

YES!

why yes, you are correct!

does your husband perhaps have a long lost brother from montego bay?

because my husband can be a GRADE A $%^@$%^#!$% at times

mi still love him, but damn do i want to BEAT his A## at times

there i feel better

[MRStee 19]

We watched the first one last night, as Steven hadn't seen it. He LOVED it. We may go see the second one tonight after church.

Lovesponge, I'm sorry to hear what happened. As many have said, it does seem men aren't as sensitive as they should be when it comes to pain. (Yet they want top sympathy if they feel anything less than 100%, at least in my case.) I remember when I had my tonsils removed and ran out of pain medicine. I cried it hurt so bad, so I can't imagine how much greater the pain is when having a baby.

MrsTee, I cracked up when I read that, cause I can just imagine you shaking your head reading the other advice thinking "These ladies are too soft. Where is their inner Rashida?"

Lol Nat, sometimes I read others posts and I say to myself "oh no he didn't" but I don't say much. For some reason I felt LoveSponge's pain because it hit close to home. I think in our hearts we want our hubby's to adjust well because of the fact they are coming into a whole new world and leaving all they've ever known behind, but at the same time, we are adjusting our schedules, personal space, time, money, effort, wanting our children to accept them, etc to help them adjust accordingly. It's hard on both parties. I guess Im set in my ways at times. Believe me, Im all for trying to reason and work things out but sometimes you just gotta go there. I didn't get this far in life not to let a lil Rashida come out sometimes, lol. There's just some things I can't tolerate. I think in all fairness as long as I have set my expectations from day one, then he should understand how I am. I will "gently" remind you and if you choose to ignore it, that's when Rashida surfaces....cause let's face it, we are both adults here. Communication is key, so whatever way you receive it, is up to you!

Again, just my personal thoughts, no offense to anyone here!