Yardies a home and a farrin, Part 25!

[*JG* 2]

Oh, like many of our guys, he's not too happy about it. But I asked him who else do I have to discuss these issues with who will understand? Now, he thinks everyone (including my Mom) hates him & I try to tell him no one hates him, people are just disappointed but he doesn't understand that. And I'm not that sypathetic considering over the past however many months with his 'friends' he is always saying things like "wifey mad at me" or "wifey deh pon de computa" & other things that make me either sound psycho or mean or crazy or just like a bad, neglectful wife. He's told me that they say things like, "she's trippin" or whatever so obviously they are hearing his take on the situation & I end up looking like the mad woman. He's done it enough where I feel somewhat insecure about meeting his friends because of what they'll think. But after all this, I don't care anymore...if he's going to continue to hang out with them, I'll be meeting every last one of them!

Well, if I bought him a ticket & kicked his rass out, I don't know where else he'd go. He could try his Dad but that's not a sure thing. He has no other relatives here....he would probably go to his Mom's if worse came to worse.

LOL! I made a 'home made' KFC gift certificate for my Dad one year for Father's Day. It was kind of like one of those, 'present this for a meal' certificates. Basically it was a way to get him something he liked....he presented the gift certificate & I bought him a 10-piece meal!

Thanks Dada! You're a sweetheart! I should go cheer him on....he is not ashamed of me at all but after I carried on in front of his peeps, he might be running away like he doesn't know me!

You are so right on with this!

My cousin tried that with Andre. And a friend of mine offered him a ticket back. He didn't want to go.

[Ellsinlove 2]

Niq, keep those stories to yaself... Nasssssy... but on another note between my daughter and Steve, they blasted me out my own room. We was trying to watch a movie, as a family and those nassy bastids were "blowing" so hard. Ugh.. Then my son came home and took off his shoes and it was a rap!!!! I was ready to just sleep in my car for the night!!! Nasty ppl!

Poe Tee!

A few times. I mentioned an example yesterday where my reaction was to fuss, loudly.

Last week, I got quite upset because we were supposed to study for his test together, but he spent the entire evening (5pm to 10:30pm) outside with the neighbors, despite my numerous soft-spoken hints about the fact that I planned to go to bed at 11, so we needed to get started. By about 10:30, my frustration had built tremendously, because I felt he wasn't respecting my time or need to sleep, and because he wasn't putting first things first (7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Habit #3). It was also inconceivable to me to have a test coming up and not put in effort to study. (Then again, I've always been an overachiever & was my high school valedictorian.).

I knew that he wouldn't want me to fuss when he got in, so instead, I took it out BEFORE he came in. I shrieked my frustrations out to the empty apartment so that when he came in, I'd be calm. What I didn't know was that he and his neighbor friends could all HEAR me. He was quite upset about it, saying that I made it seem like he was beating me or something. I said, they couldn't possibly think that since I was inside & you were STILL outside with them. So I thought I was doing a great thing by taking it out in advance & then being calm when he came in, but.... it didn't work out quite that way.

Maybe I shouldn't have even let it bother me, since he's grown & if he's not concerned with scoring 100s on the tests, then I should just let it be. But I feel like I work hard to make the money that paid for the class so it is frustrating when he doesn't put in as much effort as I would put in were it my class.

I completely understand how you feel there. Especially the very last line. You paid for it & out of respect for you & both of your success, he should put in a good amount of effort! LOL @ you embarrassing yourself when they could hear you ranting inside! I think we've all been there in some form or another.

I had another great-deal evening @ CVS yesterday. Here's how I made out:

Regular price: $80.50

Sale price: $60.50

Coupons (manufacturer's & CVS): $19.89

Extra Buck rewards used: $18.49

Paid out of pocket: $23.73 (29% of regular price, 39% of sale price)

Extra Buck rewards on hand for next visit: $9.50

Dang, Nat! You ARE an overachiever! ((chups))

[Ellsinlove 2]

Note to self: Must FINALLY check out this "7 Habits..." book.

My cousin tried that with Andre. And a friend of mine offered him a ticket back. He didn't want to go.

Well, if Lehi didn't want to go, I'd use the ol' "you don't have to go home but you can't stay here!" line! LOL!

[*JG* 2]

Note to self: Must FINALLY check out this "7 Habits..." book.

Well, if Lehi didn't want to go, I'd use the ol' "you don't have to go home but you can't stay here!" line! LOL!

OK, you know what happened to me; but I still have to say it real here.....

1) you have to worry what he is getting into while still tied to you in any way, shape, or form.

2) you have to at least think about that whole him not being on any public monies for 10 years (40 working quarters). It's still in the back of my mind. You have to hope he doesn't know the score there and try to screw you in the end.

3) you have to make sure YOU are safe, Ells.

Note to self: Must FINALLY check out this "7 Habits..." book.

Well, if Lehi didn't want to go, I'd use the ol' "you don't have to go home but you can't stay here!" line! LOL!

Pretty sure Habit #1 is STAY OFF INTERNET CHAT SITES!!!!!!

[Ellsinlove 2]

You get it on the spot if you are a US Citizen. Since he is a PR they have to send all his info off to Jeff City (the capital) and then he gets it in the mail. They even had to do that for his state ID.

I think it depends on the state because here in CA, we aren't immediately issued the regular ID either. We get a paper copy & a week or so later the real one arrives by mail. Out DMV here is so crazy busy that unless you have an appointment, you can plan to easily spend 2-4 hours waiting. I wrote an English paper once while waiting. The process is like an assembly line where the final stage is getting your picture taken. There is a line of folks, when it's your turn, you go up & hand the photo guy your paper & he snaps the pic, has you sign your signature on the electronic keypad & says "NEXT"!

Ells.........hollar to me if you want to talk.

Thanks JG!

Ok so we went in and we were sitting they didnt call the number til after 8:30 I was like danggggggggggggg

So when they called me they asked for my paycheck stub and told me to sit

When they called back they asked for the original marriage cert I was like danggg left it all home.

Lady gave me a blue slip and said to call the info window for it.

So we left, my BIl called hubby he sent it and it was in Kingston Monday. i called the Embassy and got an info pass appt for this morning. My BIL took it with her passport and they approved her about 9am this morning.

So she is sad she didnt come back with me, but hubby want her to finish school because she is not going back and she graduates in June.

Congrats JQ! Glad it all worked out.

[NatPatBen 3]

Ok Guys, will officially send off AOS today... Despite all the obstacles and donwfalls, we have gotten it together lol.... Please pray for us.

Yay!

Pretty sure Habit #1 is STAY OFF INTERNET CHAT SITES!!!!!!

Yeah... the 10 yr part is concerning.

7 Habits:

1) Be proactive (instead of reactive. Have purpose)

2) Begin with the end in mind

3) Put first things first (instead of putting 2nd or unimportant things first)

4) Think Win-Win

5) Seek first to understand, then to be understood (it makes the other person more receptive to your point of view if he sees you're trying to understand his pov)

6) Synergize (When 2+2>4. This should happen automatically if you've done the other steps.)

7) Sharpen the saw (important to keep your mind/body/soul refreshed & renewed to do your best with the other habits)

[Ellsinlove 2]

OK, you know what happened to me; but I still have to say it real here.....

1) you have to worry what he is getting into while still tied to you in any way, shape, or form.

2) you have to at least think about that whole him not being on any public monies for 10 years (40 working quarters). It's still in the back of my mind. You have to hope he doesn't know the score there and try to screw you in the end.

3) you have to make sure YOU are safe, Ells.

Pretty sure Habit #1 is STAY OFF INTERNET CHAT SITES!!!!!!

True, thanks for the reminder! It is easy to forget about protecting your interests in all this even if you've read it before. At this point, I really don't think he has what it takes to make it here (at least in the Bay Area) on his own. He'd almost have no choice but to go back to the Caribbean but I realize I should never underestimate him. However, he'd probably survive more easily with what he's used to versus being here & pretty clueless about how everything runs. He's learning every day but he easily goes on information overload & his brain shuts down. There's no other explanation for why I can tell him things a hundred times & he still doesn't recall hearing it.

Err....ummm....yeah, I think you may have something there with Habit # 1.

[dillon 6]

True, thanks for the reminder! It is easy to forget about protecting your interests in all this even if you've read it before. At this point, I really don't think he has what it takes to make it here (at least in the Bay Area) on his own. He'd almost have no choice but to go back to the Caribbean but I realize I should never underestimate him. However, he'd probably survive more easily with what he's used to versus being here & pretty clueless about how everything runs. He's learning every day but he easily goes on information overload & his brain shuts down. There's no other explanation for why I can tell him things a hundred times & he still doesn't recall hearing it.

Err....ummm....yeah, I think you may have something there with Habit # 1.

I thought the same thing about my ex husband and let me tell you. When they are forced to take care of themselves they will step it up. When we do everything for them we really aren't helping them out. I am amazed that he is still in the states and never went back to Jamaica.

[Ellsinlove 2]

I dont know but if I do Im going to go and come right back.

I got the I miss my hubby BLUES :rofl: :rofl:

He was trying to act so mean to me yesterday but he was holding me and smiling when I was sleep. :bonk:

He said he just wanted to hear me say I missed him.

And i did so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awwww!

We missed you too...it was so dead in here I mean we had lots of bad husband talk and that is always needed to make sure everyone don't think it is just thier man, but other than that no fun smileys or crazy pic's that we can always count on you for!

I am about to log out for the day....Its my long day were I work at the clinic all afternoon giving massages..then sports massage class tonight til 10. Still waiting on the BC from the RGD...Michael just text me he has good news and will call and tell me so I am hoping its about that cause that is the only thing holding up the process of getting case complete and an interview

Everyone have a splendid day!!!!

Keeping my fingers crossed that he has the good news you want!

That is soooo wrong, but I ain't mad at cha, I had to pay $50 to have mine taken down and to think I could have done it at work by putting the psych patients to work.

You ARE wrong for that! (But it is a good idea!)

[*JG* 2]

True, thanks for the reminder! It is easy to forget about protecting your interests in all this even if you've read it before. At this point, I really don't think he has what it takes to make it here (at least in the Bay Area) on his own. He'd almost have no choice but to go back to the Caribbean but I realize I should never underestimate him. However, he'd probably survive more easily with what he's used to versus being here & pretty clueless about how everything runs. He's learning every day but he easily goes on information overload & his brain shuts down. There's no other explanation for why I can tell him things a hundred times & he still doesn't recall hearing it.

Err....ummm....yeah, I think you may have something there with Habit # 1.

I thought some of the same with Andre. He's working 2 jobs and has a baby. Probably married by now, for all I know. Don't underestimate someone's resourcefulness.

I thought the same thing about my ex husband and let me tell you. When they are forced to take care of themselves they will step it up. When we do everything for them we really aren't helping them out. I am amazed that he is still in the states and never went back to Jamaica.

Peas in a pod, my friend. I just said basically the same thing!

You are freakin' me out, btw. How are we talking on 2 web sites at same damn time??????

[finesse 3]

I thought the same thing about my ex husband and let me tell you. When they are forced to take care of themselves they will step it up. When we do everything for them we really aren't helping them out. I am amazed that he is still in the states and never went back to Jamaica.

why yuh dump him?

I thought some of the same with Andre. He's working 2 jobs and has a baby. Probably married by now, for all I know. Don't underestimate someone's resourcefulness.

Peas in a pod, my friend. I just said basically the same thing!

You are freakin' me out, btw. How are we talking on 2 web sites at same damn time??????

are you over on negril.com again?

daytime tv is garbage

[Ellsinlove 2]

I thought the same thing about my ex husband and let me tell you. When they are forced to take care of themselves they will step it up. When we do everything for them we really aren't helping them out. I am amazed that he is still in the states and never went back to Jamaica.

Yeah, I think if he had no choice, anything is possible...that's why I'm not trying to underestimate him. And all the time I try to get him to do things to make him more independent here & show him how things work. Even the little things like swiping a card through the reader at the grocery store or taking a different bus line to get somewhere in the city or making him take care of something else so he learns how things work. I just often wonder how much is getting through because he likes to be lazy about certain things & unless I force him to do it, he'll defer to me. Some times I have to say 'you know how to do this so YOU do it!'. If we ever do split & he stays here, I guess I do have to just pray he either marries again & is no longer my problem or that he takes advantage of the opportunities here & doesn't get lazy & get on public assistance. Oh well, I shouldn't be thinking of this stuff just yet. to me...

[dillon 6]

He cheated finesse.

I know JG it is pretty funny.

[*JG* 2]

why yuh dump him?

are you over on negril.com again?

daytime tv is garbage

No, Finesse......this new fangled thing called FACEBOOK!!!!!

[finesse 3]

Yeah, I think if he had no choice, anything is possible...that's why I'm not trying to underestimate him. And all the time I try to get him to do things to make him more independent here & show him how things work. Even the little things like swiping a card through the reader at the grocery store or taking a different bus line to get somewhere in the city or making him take care of something else so he learns how things work. I just often wonder how much is getting through because he likes to be lazy about certain things & unless I force him to do it, he'll defer to me. Some times I have to say 'you know how to do this so YOU do it!'. If we ever do split & he stays here, I guess I do have to just pray he either marries again & is no longer my problem or that he takes advantage of the opportunities here & doesn't get lazy & get on public assistance. Oh well, I shouldn't be thinking of this stuff just yet. to me...

probably not a good sign that you are..