Yardies a home and a farrin, Part 25!

[TAMH 2]

Whats beeen up since ive been gone, still not home yet waiting for my flight from dallas fort worth,

Mrstee dada give me an update,, PLEASE

Are you bringing that baby home?

[MRStee 19]

Likkle more.. my computer at home has a virus... Need to work on it!

So sorry to hear that you are going through this. I think women have a tendency to bring their insecurities into the next relationship. This includes myself. But you have to tell him what you do and do not expect. I feel that if Lehi truly cares then he will be willing to do whatever to gain your trust back. But you can't just say that you need to trust him, you need to explain the things that will make you feel more trustworthy of him. I told my hubby to call the chick that he was talking to so she could explain their conversation. That's what it took for me to feel comfortable, so that's what he did. I told the both of them straight up that there is no reason for them to be conversing on the phone. You have to tell people how you expect to be treated. If he truly loves you, he will fix the situation. Because a little chick with some convo, is not worth your marraige. I also don't tolerate little white lie. It may not be a big deal to him or others, but to me its unacceptable. You also have to understand they are used to being in relationships where they are not questioned about anything so its somewhat new for them to be questioned about the whereabout and who they are talking to. I told hubby that I don't tolerate the lying so before you fix your mouth to tell I lie, thick twice!!!

Guess you told their rasses!

How bout I got my 5th 33 posts ago?

[atsleumas 3]

Hope everyone is having a good day!

Mine sucks - I need some advice...

so, we got our interview - May 5. You think we'd be happy? Hubby hasnt been himself for a few days - he gets quiet and I know things are rough right now for him down there, but when he gets quiet and distant its so hurtful.

Now, I told him about the interview- he didnt even sound excited really- he says he called the clinic in Mobay today and that they took his info "and would call him back" hes at work now, and something inside me just WONDERS if maybe he is getting cold feet now?

I dont know what to do... give him his space? I feel like - we get to this point and he's acting so strange. Anyone else ever go thru this??I dunno.. thanks for letting me vent.

[NatPatBen 3]

201

KJ, I survived the rugrats...barely...lol. Dem five kids kicked my butt.

What rugrats?

On another note me and G went to church today and it was special because we've never been to church before. We do pray and we do believe in God but we just never went to church. We also met with the pastor and had another seesion of pre'marital counseling...

Glad to hear!

MoAcory: I've had the credit card theft happen a few times. Fortunately, it was always pretty easy to rectify, probably since I check my bank/credit card online at least twice/day. Glad your situation got taken care of.

...We didnt end up attending church on saturday so we stayed home; I decided to spend the day talking to God; trying to see what I was doing wrong in our marriage.

As I did this, out of nowhere Jito comes and starts apologizing and admitting his error in the way things were dealt with. It shocked the mess out of me. I know I asked God to fix it, I just didnt expect a same-day answer (need to heighten my expectations of Him). It was the most amazing thing ever to watch hubby pour out in front of me. Now, we're great like Frosted Flakes...

This testimony put a smile on my face!

DensWifey, I'm excited about your closing! Be sure to note the "Lessons Learned" to pass on to those of us who will soon join the homeowner ranks.

[Ellsinlove 2]

Me too. I’ve been there and I've done it. Only did it to show the person what it felt like and boy they didn’t like it AT ALL. Damn near lost der mind. But you know what was crazy? While I was doing it I felt so darn GUILTY. Not sure how others can keep doing it over and over again. I guess to each its own.

I know what you mean about the talks. I had these talks with my hubby but only mines were more well mannered. He kept saying things would be different and they never were. He necessarily didn’t cheat it was more of the lying, drinking and not taking responsibility I could go on and on but I always turned the other cheek because I wanted my marriage to work. It finally got to the point where I had the final talk I told him that I would take no more. I’m not having this talk again. This was after we did the counseling and what not. I guess he thought I was joking. He was good for a minute and then he said yeah she'll take me back. O.k. sweetie that is why your my X.. I said what I mean and meant what I said.

With Ells though I feel like not all hope is lost just yet so with Always prayer, God and some determination I’m really hoping things turn around.

I also don't think I could cheat in my relationship...if I get to that point, I'll just leave it first. I think I need to tell hubby that the talk we had last night about it will be the last. We are going to talk to the lady who is his teacher & friend from the skills center together because she is a co-pastor at a church here & does counseling. He was more willing to go to her than someone else so we'll start there.

OK, Ells......first thing I thought of was....a tranny! And, he's Jamaican.....

I know...definitely suspect. However, I have to say he has become a lot more tolerant living here because in SF, you don't have much choice. He even had to share his textbook with the new tranny (or maybe not a tranny but a certified cross-dresser) in class last week because s/he didn't have a book yet.

Oh honey, I'm sorry to hear hubby has been planting doubts in your mind this early in the marriage. like the ladies said, don't make any rash decisions now sit down and have a serious hear to heart talk with him, let him know you're not his mama and won't spank him for being truthful and you're woman enough to handle the truth in any situation.

Some people lie because of fear, fear that the truth might do more damage than good or fear of disapproval. It could even be that he has low self. I hope everything works out well and he will realize his follies. Best of luck

Thanks TAMH! I think I just need to read everyone's replies about this to him tonight! Especially what you said here about he can be truthful & not get spanked. LOL!

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Okay Ladies The Jamaican Observer did a article on WHY MEN LIE

http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/why-men-lie_7519566

[Ellsinlove 2]

Start looking for prices for airline tickets in his presence and ask him which day he'd like to fly back to JA for good... Mabye that will wake him up!

I didn't pull out that card yesterday BUT, I'm not even joking when I said I found out a one-way ticket to St. Maarten was only $260 at the end of May!

No Ells "BEAT DAT AZZ" Sike okay nah don't do that lol.. Tell him either shape up or ship out and what date did you say you wanted to go back to JA for good! and add a few rassclots in it!!

I'm about to BEAT DAT AZZ! Lesheka is gettin fed up! I'm tellin you, I had his plane ticket tentatively booked yesterday. Late May, after the semester was done, on his way to St. Maarten with a layover in Miami....good luck getting around that airport buddy!

Dills why you hitting, I'm mean licking the matress, lol!

Dada: I only felt guilty after and not guilty that I'm doing him (my ex) wrong but guilty that I'm disrespecting myself but what the heck I'm glad I did!

Dada I didn't hit him, my hand did, lol. But seriously I gotta stop because as I said before it will get ugly the day he dares try to hit me back. I did go back, doc still wasn't there so I'm going back thursday...

TAMH some people also lie because they're dumb coz G lies for the simpliest things!

MrsTee I like the ticket idea you gave Ells but I tried that when I was in JA (I threathened to leave). Maybe she can make up a ticket in microsoft word, pack his bag and maybe that'll straighten him up...

And I'm pretty good on MS Word too! If I can create a KFC gift cert. for Father's Day, a plane ticket ought to be a piece of cake!

Julianne: I want to personally thank you for this prayer!!! Even though you directed it towards Ells/Lehi.. you don't know how it spoke wonders to the soul. I think I can speak for some of us here that are going through various situations.. we needed to hear something like this.. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this....

Yes, Ells, it takes a strong person to come on this board and discuss personal issues. This is one of the reasons that we can relate to one another because we share a common link and you had the strength to say something maybe one of us wanted to and just couldn't do it!! You remind me of myself at times and I respect you for that. Don't worry or fear because whatever is meant to happen will happen! ((((((((((hugs)))))))))

Thanks Tee!

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Hope everyone is having a good day!

Mine sucks - I need some advice...

so, we got our interview - May 5. You think we'd be happy? Hubby hasnt been himself for a few days - he gets quiet and I know things are rough right now for him down there, but when he gets quiet and distant its so hurtful.

Now, I told him about the interview- he didnt even sound excited really- he says he called the clinic in Mobay today and that they took his info "and would call him back" hes at work now, and something inside me just WONDERS if maybe he is getting cold feet now?

I dont know what to do... give him his space? I feel like - we get to this point and he's acting so strange. Anyone else ever go thru this??I dunno.. thanks for letting me vent.

Put your self in his shoes and see the picture from his side of the world. He is getting close to leaving, and he has only dreamed about this, the possibility(sp) was so far off. Give him space, he leaving a life time of friends and family behind, and coming to the un-known.

[Ellsinlove 2]

Atsleumas....if you don't see my reply this afternoon, I promise this evening I'll be doing it. I was going to last night but we were having our 'talk' & then I even helped him with his homework & didn't get a chance.

[atsleumas 3]

Put your self in his shoes and see the picture from his side of the world. He is getting close to leaving, and he has only dreamed about this, the possibility(sp) was so far off. Give him space, he leaving a life time of friends and family behind, and coming to the un-known.

You are right about that LJ. Very right.

Atsleumas....if you don't see my reply this afternoon, I promise this evening I'll be doing it. I was going to last night but we were having our 'talk' & then I even helped him with his homework & didn't get a chance.

No worries girl! Glad you guys talked. Communication is crucial!

[Ellsinlove 2]

Hubby just called.. biometrics appointement on 4/29/10 @2:30 yippppppppppppppeeeeeeeeeee

Moving right along! Everyone going through AOS seems to be coasting along nicely.

She could make up an itinerary and post on the fridge like so:

4/12 - Lesheka going out with friends to celebrate

4/13 - Lesheka starts packing Lehi's clothes

4/14 - While at work Lesheka tells boss she needs a day off

4/15 - Lesheka gasses up the whip

4/16 - Lesheka has to make it to the airport by 7:45 am so Lehi don't miss his flight

4/17 - Lesheka treats herself to a day at the spa and puts it on the credit card that would have been Lehi's if he had "act right" in him

Later on Lesheka meets back up with friends to celebrate the success of shipping Lehi's bummaclot azz back to the JA... She also books

her next vacation to St. Thomas on Lehi's credit card and meets Dexter St. Jacque hahahahahaha

K maybe I need...

DWLPUMS!!! Too bad Lehi doesn't read too good yet or I just might do this!

So sorry to hear that you are going through this. I think women have a tendency to bring their insecurities into the next relationship. This includes myself. But you have to tell him what you do and do not expect. I feel that if Lehi truly cares then he will be willing to do whatever to gain your trust back. But you can't just say that you need to trust him, you need to explain the things that will make you feel more trustworthy of him. I told my hubby to call the chick that he was talking to so she could explain their conversation. That's what it took for me to feel comfortable, so that's what he did. I told the both of them straight up that there is no reason for them to be conversing on the phone. You have to tell people how you expect to be treated. If he truly loves you, he will fix the situation. Because a little chick with some convo, is not worth your marraige. I also don't tolerate little white lie. It may not be a big deal to him or others, but to me its unacceptable. You also have to understand they are used to being in relationships where they are not questioned about anything so its somewhat new for them to be questioned about the whereabout and who they are talking to. I told hubby that I don't tolerate the lying so before you fix your mouth to tell I lie, thick twice!!!

on all points Char!

[atsleumas 3]

Okay Ladies The Jamaican Observer did a article on WHY MEN LIE

http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/why-men-lie_7519566

Interesting....

[Ellsinlove 2]

One sorta funny note: This morning when we woke up Lehi tells me he had a dream that his Grandma beat him. I told him she came to tell him to 'tap tell lie'! If anyone can scare him straight, it's Grandma (& she was the sweetest lady ever). She told him before she passed that if he ever hurt me, she'd come back & squeeze his 'seed bag'!

[NatPatBen 3]

207

Dillon & Justucia, congratulations on your men passing their driving tests!

LadyC, congratulations on hubby's job!

DaDa, is the cover letter MrsTee helped with for a job in the south?

kjenkins, I felt your wrath about your husband & the doctor situation. That definitely is a frustrating situation. But watch out with the violence.

Ells, I'm SO SORRY to hear what's going on. Growing up, my brother had that issue too: lying about things for no reason. I don't understand it at all, but from reading other posts, it appears too common. I would agree with Always Blessed's recommendation of "The Power of a Praying Wife." I actually read that book BEFORE I even had a potential husband, and wherever the prayers in the book wanted you to put in your husband's name, I put in "my future husband." It's a great book that has the reader/wife look inside herself & pray for God to work with her before praying for God to work on the husband.

True dat! And I'd have to add to be extremely scrutinizing before they get here so you aren't sorry once they are. Don't be in such a hurry to get them here that you ignore signs. One thing I can say for myself though is that it's very difficult to distinguish between what are real signs & what is you just being paranoid from past experiences.

That is VERY TRUE.

If you do not mind I would love to pray for your marriage, as I believe you truely love your husband.

Lord I pray for your blood and protection to heal the wounds in this marriage where there is lies I pray they will be repented of and replaced with truth. Father I ask that you open Lehi's heart and allow the love to overflow into his wife life, Father you gave your blessing upon them to marry and it is stated in the Bible that you have given us the power of authority over all the power of the enemy (Luke 10:19) and when we pray Lord we can do great damage to the enemies plan to destroy his work. Father we know this is not your plan for our/their life and we take authoriity over this marriage NOW! This marriage will not be destroyed We/ I will not allow confusion, miscommunication , wrong attitudes, and bad choices to erode what we/they are trying to build together hurt and unforgivness will not lead this marriage to divorce.

We build a hedge of protection around this marriage Lord and we bind the enemies hand , it is stated what we bind here on earth is bound in Heaven and what ever we loose on earth is loosed in heaven (Matthew 18:18) So therfore father we call peace and harmonoy, love and kindess, respect and honor to this marriage and we pray that your hand has healed this marriage and ended the wrong doing now.

In the name of you Son Jesus Christ our Lord and savor we pray AMEN and AMEN.

This almost moved me to tears. I prayed it for Ells' marriage, too, since 2 can move 10,000s.

KJ...ggggiiiirrrrlllll...I would have been highly pissed too. Go back and give him a slap for me too.

[NatPatBen 3]

MrsTee, great news about the Bio apptmt!

Donuts???

I want a donut! When we left church Sunday, this lady offered my mother a box of donuts. She said no & Steven said no, so I couldn't be the greedy one to say yes.

I dont know what to do... give him his space? I feel like - we get to this point and he's acting so strange. Anyone else ever go thru this??I dunno.. thanks for letting me vent.

As a few said, I def think he's just reflecting on the HUGE step he's about to take. Especially if he hasn't travelled much, it can't be easy for him to pack up everything & leave all that is familiar (family, friends, culture, country).

Perhaps you can ask him how he's feeling.

Okay Ladies The Jamaican Observer did a article on WHY MEN LIE

http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/why-men-lie_7519566

I will def read this when we get home!

And I'm pretty good on MS Word too! If I can create a KFC gift cert. for Father's Day, a plane ticket ought to be a piece of cake!