Yardies a home and a farrin, Part 25!

[Always Blessed 1]

Good Morning Ladies!!!!

Always that was a beautiful prayer and I will keep you in my prayers on being pregnant. Let us know when you find out.

KJ...ggggiiiirrrrlllll...I would have been highly pissed too. Go back and give him a slap for me too.

THANK YOU DILL Hubby and I apprciate, I will.

[DaDa 1]

Dada I agree with your advice goven but sometimes you sit down and have a serious talk and think that everything is all gravy then a few weeks later they're at it again so it's as if you're at your wits end with talking and it's extremely frustrating because you see no progress. As you said, if he's not willing to work on it then she shouldn't be willing either because you can't get help if you don't admit that you need help.

Don't feel bad about being an investigator, you gotta do what you have to do to protect yourself and your feelings because when men/women are cheating they don't think about their SO and I know this because I've cheated and have been cheated on.

Me too. I’ve been there and I've done it. Only did it to show the person what it felt like and boy they didn’t like it AT ALL. Damn near lost der mind. But you know what was crazy? While I was doing it I felt so darn GUILTY. Not sure how others can keep doing it over and over again. I guess to each its own.

I know what you mean about the talks. I had these talks with my hubby but only mines were more well mannered. He kept saying things would be different and they never were. He necessarily didn’t cheat it was more of the lying, drinking and not taking responsibility I could go on and on but I always turned the other cheek because I wanted my marriage to work. It finally got to the point where I had the final talk I told him that I would take no more. I’m not having this talk again. This was after we did the counseling and what not. I guess he thought I was joking. He was good for a minute and then he said yeah she'll take me back. O.k. sweetie that is why your my X.. I said what I mean and meant what I said.

With Ells though I feel like not all hope is lost just yet so with Always prayer, God and some determination I’m really hoping things turn around.

[DaDa 1]

Great!

Oh ok.

On another note I'm so P'D OFF!

I'm sure I told y'all I'm not sure if I'm preggo, anyhow I had an appt today and he knew. So I woke up, got dressed and left. At the doc office he called and said he's coming so I said fine. Waiting and looking out for him, waitng and looking out for him Then he calls to say he's drinking tea he'll be there in a minute so I said ok. The receptionist came out and told us the doc is gonna be late so we can leave or wait so I left without calling him, I walk in the door to see him sitting on the computer on FACEFRIGGGINBOOK!! His response "you couldn't call and tell me you left the doc, what if I had walked up there?" So I slapped the ###### outta his azz (shouldn't have) and grabbed my laptop and walked away. Now tell me, if you don't wanna come to the doctor's office just fcuking say so, but don't have me sitting there looking out for you and here fcuking rapping on facebook. Rant Over.

I'm trying my best not to put my hands on him because I'd stab his azz if he dare try to hit me back but I was pissed

KJ!!!! Girl you know you were so wrong for hitting that man. You have to learn to control your anger and I need to listen to my own advice but we’re not talking about me we’re talking about you right now.

Anyway I know you were pissed I would have been to but you hit em? Tsk Tsk Tsk.

So what time do you have to go back.?

[*JG* 2]

Afternoon Yardies!

I have a bunch to reply to but I'm feeling some urgency that I just need to put some business out here first. I may need to be talked down off the ledge so to speak today. I'm gonna preface by stating that I'm not distraught, not very upset, nothing....just sort of matter-of-fact about what I'm feeling right now. I'm not going to jump to any conclusions or decisions but I'm definitely mulling things over. So here it is:

My hubby is a chronic liar. Since we have lived together full-time since he arrived here, all of the lying has become more apparent. He lies about the smallest of things at times & although I don't necessary think (or want to accuse him) he's cheating, he's behaved in ways that are suspect & it's really coming to light now that he's on my cell phone plan & I can monitor things. I really don't want to go into detail cause it would be too long but basically, I've caught him in lies all along but have a specific incident on Saturday that I was able to directly call him on a lie because I could see the phone log. He received a call while we were out Saturday & I could hear it was a pretty basic (albeit short) conversation with a female. He said he'd give a call later & the response was like this (with a high-pitched very feminine voice), "Oookaaaaaaaay byyyyyyyyyyeeeeee!" After I asked who it was he tried to pass it off like it was a 'new person' at his school who is a tranny (we have many around here so it is conceivable). Well, checking the phone log this morning I saw that it was the same friend who is in his 'soccer gang' who is supposedly a girlfriend of one of his guy friends. I've called him on this before but I don't have a problem with him having female friends as long as they respect our marriage so I just let it go at that time. He tries to tell me that his friend (whose girlfriend he talks to) doesn't have his own phone (YEAH RIGHT!) so he always uses his girlfriend's phone (is this making any sense??). Well, WHATEVER. I haven't met these friends yet but I'm going to for sure now....who cares if they're young & will ridicule him about his fat, old wife. I'm also going to start answering the house phone now. I used to leave that to him cause it was always for him but now I'm going to make my presence KNOWN!

But the real problem is, he just plain lies...about his phone calls, about his friends, about random ish around the house, etc. etc. etc. I'm nearly ready to file for divorce. We've had this discussion on several occasions that he has a lying problem & I told him if he doesn't change that, I will never be able to trust him. If I can't trust him about the little things, how will I trust him when the big issues arise?? Again, I'm not distressed or depressed, I'm not all that angry, I'm just feeling exhausted with this all. Also, lately he's been slacking (again) with helping me out around the house, etc. & frankly, I'm tired of doing everything I always did for myself & now for one more person on top of it. I'll defer to the Madea quote now, "I can do bad ALL BY MYSELF!" Anyway, we may seek counseling although he doesn't want to go or we may try other things but I've been scouring this web site about lying in relationships http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ & I'm not really sure compulsive/chronic liars can be 'cured'. I know I can't live with that....to me that is a seriously fatal flaw. I'm by no means perfect but if there's one thing I am, it's HONEST. I've been honest to him about everything & he is not returning the favor. Well, WHEW....just writing this out felt much better! I'm ready for any responses....don't temper your responses, if I wanted to be coddled or told the easy stuff, I wouldn't have put this out there.

OK, Ells......first thing I thought of was....a tranny! And, he's Jamaican.....

[*JG* 2]

CONGRATS to your husband!

omg- its like we share lives!

D had his driving test today- and he passed as well!

he's so happy

Um NO.....I've met Mikel a few times and I know Damion.......you 2 do not share lives! No one talks as much or as fast as Damion!

[MRStee 19]

Afternoon Yardies!

I have a bunch to reply to but I'm feeling some urgency that I just need to put some business out here first. I may need to be talked down off the ledge so to speak today. I'm gonna preface by stating that I'm not distraught, not very upset, nothing....just sort of matter-of-fact about what I'm feeling right now. I'm not going to jump to any conclusions or decisions but I'm definitely mulling things over. So here it is:

My hubby is a chronic liar. Since we have lived together full-time since he arrived here, all of the lying has become more apparent. He lies about the smallest of things at times & although I don't necessary think (or want to accuse him) he's cheating, he's behaved in ways that are suspect & it's really coming to light now that he's on my cell phone plan & I can monitor things. I really don't want to go into detail cause it would be too long but basically, I've caught him in lies all along but have a specific incident on Saturday that I was able to directly call him on a lie because I could see the phone log. He received a call while we were out Saturday & I could hear it was a pretty basic (albeit short) conversation with a female. He said he'd give a call later & the response was like this (with a high-pitched very feminine voice), "Oookaaaaaaaay byyyyyyyyyyeeeeee!" After I asked who it was he tried to pass it off like it was a 'new person' at his school who is a tranny (we have many around here so it is conceivable). Well, checking the phone log this morning I saw that it was the same friend who is in his 'soccer gang' who is supposedly a girlfriend of one of his guy friends. I've called him on this before but I don't have a problem with him having female friends as long as they respect our marriage so I just let it go at that time. He tries to tell me that his friend (whose girlfriend he talks to) doesn't have his own phone (YEAH RIGHT!) so he always uses his girlfriend's phone (is this making any sense??). Well, WHATEVER. I haven't met these friends yet but I'm going to for sure now....who cares if they're young & will ridicule him about his fat, old wife. I'm also going to start answering the house phone now. I used to leave that to him cause it was always for him but now I'm going to make my presence KNOWN!

But the real problem is, he just plain lies...about his phone calls, about his friends, about random ish around the house, etc. etc. etc. I'm nearly ready to file for divorce. We've had this discussion on several occasions that he has a lying problem & I told him if he doesn't change that, I will never be able to trust him. If I can't trust him about the little things, how will I trust him when the big issues arise?? Again, I'm not distressed or depressed, I'm not all that angry, I'm just feeling exhausted with this all. Also, lately he's been slacking (again) with helping me out around the house, etc. & frankly, I'm tired of doing everything I always did for myself & now for one more person on top of it. I'll defer to the Madea quote now, "I can do bad ALL BY MYSELF!" Anyway, we may seek counseling although he doesn't want to go or we may try other things but I've been scouring this web site about lying in relationships http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ & I'm not really sure compulsive/chronic liars can be 'cured'. I know I can't live with that....to me that is a seriously fatal flaw. I'm by no means perfect but if there's one thing I am, it's HONEST. I've been honest to him about everything & he is not returning the favor. Well, WHEW....just writing this out felt much better! I'm ready for any responses....don't temper your responses, if I wanted to be coddled or told the easy stuff, I wouldn't have put this out there.

Ells for once Im speechless, but his behavior is definitely unacceptable.

[*JG* 2]

Girl Girl Girl I almost dropped out my seat reading this. Whoo if dis don't bring back memories. My husband well X lied about everything and I mean everything it was stupid shyt he lied about to the point where you looked at him like dawg serious stop it. I think he had a condition to be honest because there was no need fi it all. Imma keep it real with you Ells I'm not sure if he will stop. Mines didn't. Hopefully with prayer and some real attitude he can change but it just bites me in de butt why a grown rass man has to lie. I used to tell mi hubby all de tem. I can't beat you so why do you have to lie to me what you think you gwaan get jumped on or something.

The phone calls jeez dats another thing. I swear these cell phones can be your best and worst friends. God gave us the best and worst gift woman intuition. When it surfaces its normally not wrong. You get that feeling in the pit of your stomach that something isn't right and its up to you rather to ignore it or act on it. I tell you when it kicks in full drive its no joke. I used to play detective. Some of the things I did I am not proud of and I would have you all ladies on the ground rolling but I think I'm almost the best there ever was. I always found out the truth rather I wanted to or not and I vow that I will never live that way again. What used to hurt my feelings was my hubby had so called friends that he called over twenty times a day. It used to burn me up like what is der to talk about you don't even call me that much. I told him you're probably a pain in her rass.

Anywho I feel you on how do you expect me to trust you if you never tell me the truth. I also don't blame you for making your presence known. I really hope this all works its way out. I don't think you need to consider divorce just yet. See if you can get him to go to the counseling and put Lasheka away and talk to him for minute. Let him know you're at the edge and about to let this marriage go. If he is not willing to work on it then neither are you. Its too early in the marriage for all this nonsense already. You r are supposed to be his best friend and he shouldn't have to lie to you about anything. Rather it will hurt you or not just tell you the truth. Let him know Ells. Give him a serious look at let him know you will not be having this conversation again. This is it. Tell him your going to give it your all and try to get things back on track but if he isn't in agreement let you know now or forever hold your peace.

If you have some advice on people you don't live with, PM me some of your antics. I need some advice.

[MRStee 19]

Hey guys... Dada, Den, and all else, me luv unu fi the support and lovely comments. Just got back from CS and got him re-do the first page of my medical (another $35 after the $340 we coughed up for everything )

But yes, God is good and we should be sending AOS off today (though hubby lazy lol) or more like tomorrow...

Im happy you got it done mi amor!

[TAMH 2]

Afternoon Yardies!

I have a bunch to reply to but I'm feeling some urgency that I just need to put some business out here first. I may need to be talked down off the ledge so to speak today. I'm gonna preface by stating that I'm not distraught, not very upset, nothing....just sort of matter-of-fact about what I'm feeling right now. I'm not going to jump to any conclusions or decisions but I'm definitely mulling things over. So here it is:

My hubby is a chronic liar. Since we have lived together full-time since he arrived here, all of the lying has become more apparent. He lies about the smallest of things at times & although I don't necessary think (or want to accuse him) he's cheating, he's behaved in ways that are suspect & it's really coming to light now that he's on my cell phone plan & I can monitor things. I really don't want to go into detail cause it would be too long but basically, I've caught him in lies all along but have a specific incident on Saturday that I was able to directly call him on a lie because I could see the phone log. He received a call while we were out Saturday & I could hear it was a pretty basic (albeit short) conversation with a female. He said he'd give a call later & the response was like this (with a high-pitched very feminine voice), "Oookaaaaaaaay byyyyyyyyyyeeeeee!" After I asked who it was he tried to pass it off like it was a 'new person' at his school who is a tranny (we have many around here so it is conceivable). Well, checking the phone log this morning I saw that it was the same friend who is in his 'soccer gang' who is supposedly a girlfriend of one of his guy friends. I've called him on this before but I don't have a problem with him having female friends as long as they respect our marriage so I just let it go at that time. He tries to tell me that his friend (whose girlfriend he talks to) doesn't have his own phone (YEAH RIGHT!) so he always uses his girlfriend's phone (is this making any sense??). Well, WHATEVER. I haven't met these friends yet but I'm going to for sure now....who cares if they're young & will ridicule him about his fat, old wife. I'm also going to start answering the house phone now. I used to leave that to him cause it was always for him but now I'm going to make my presence KNOWN!

But the real problem is, he just plain lies...about his phone calls, about his friends, about random ish around the house, etc. etc. etc. I'm nearly ready to file for divorce. We've had this discussion on several occasions that he has a lying problem & I told him if he doesn't change that, I will never be able to trust him. If I can't trust him about the little things, how will I trust him when the big issues arise?? Again, I'm not distressed or depressed, I'm not all that angry, I'm just feeling exhausted with this all. Also, lately he's been slacking (again) with helping me out around the house, etc. & frankly, I'm tired of doing everything I always did for myself & now for one more person on top of it. I'll defer to the Madea quote now, "I can do bad ALL BY MYSELF!" Anyway, we may seek counseling although he doesn't want to go or we may try other things but I've been scouring this web site about lying in relationships http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ & I'm not really sure compulsive/chronic liars can be 'cured'. I know I can't live with that....to me that is a seriously fatal flaw. I'm by no means perfect but if there's one thing I am, it's HONEST. I've been honest to him about everything & he is not returning the favor. Well, WHEW....just writing this out felt much better! I'm ready for any responses....don't temper your responses, if I wanted to be coddled or told the easy stuff, I wouldn't have put this out there.

Oh honey, I'm sorry to hear hubby has been planting doubts in your mind this early in the marriage. like the ladies said, don't make any rash decisions now sit down and have a serious hear to heart talk with him, let him know you're not his mama and won't spank him for being truthful and you're woman enough to handle the truth in any situation.

Some people lie because of fear, fear that the truth might do more damage than good or fear of disapproval. It could even be that he has low self. I hope everything works out well and he will realize his follies. Best of luck

Hey Ells,

My heart goes out to you! As soon as I read your post it felt like my heart leaped from my chest into my stomach. I have to applauded you for being so opened about your marriage.

So the reason for me writing other then the above is because I have felt what you are feeling right now and I believe more then a few of us are going through the same thing and just do not have it in us to post it. I do not know if you are a spiritual person or not but I can tell you to pray, I rest to sure you that it has helped extremely in my relationship with my husband. He is a great guy yet he has some flaws and extra baggage having a baby mother here in the states actually a hour away from where we live it is a difficult situation because the baby mother makes it so.

Anyway there is book I started reading and it is helping out alot and believe it or not I am seeing changes almost immediately. The book is called the power of a praying wife By Stormie Omartian. If you can and want to it is a very good investmnent and it really soothes the soul, soften your heart towards the man you loved and became one with even when he does anger you.

I just want you to know if you ever need to talk I am here, I know I do not say much usually on the board but I do have good listening ears. If you do not mind I would love to pray for your marriage, as I believe you truely love your husband.

Lord I pray for your blood and protection to heal the wounds in this marriage where there is lies I pray they will be repented of and replaced with truth. Father I ask that you open Lehi's heart and allow the love to overflow into his wife life, Father you gave your blessing upon them to marry and it is stated in the Bible that you have given us the power of authority over all the power of the enemy (Luke 10:19) and when we pray Lord we can do great damage to the enemies plan to destroy his work. Father we know this is not your plan for our/their life and we take authoriity over this marriage NOW! This marriage will not be destroyed We/ I will not allow confusion, miscommunication , wrong attitudes, and bad choices to erode what we/they are trying to build together hurt and unforgivness will not lead this marriage to divorce.

We build a hedge of protection around this marriage Lord and we bind the enemies hand , it is stated what we bind here on earth is bound in Heaven and what ever we loose on earth is loosed in heaven (Matthew 18:18) So therfore father we call peace and harmonoy, love and kindess, respect and honor to this marriage and we pray that your hand has healed this marriage and ended the wrong doing now.

In the name of you Son Jesus Christ our Lord and savor we pray AMEN and AMEN.

Take care Julianne

Powerful prayer sista!

Good Morning Yardies...I hope everyone is having a good week. Well my hubby started working with my friend/coworker Landscaping company today and he had to take the Metro Bus and Train all by himself. He got ther so it was ok. We are also packing to move on Friday so its been hectic. Me with my 2 jobs one at Jackson Hewitt so the end of tax season rush and hours are killing me. Now hubby started working (thank you lord) and my step son will be here on the 30th. Whew I feel so damn tired

Congrats on the move mama.

Great!

Oh ok.

On another note I'm so P'D OFF!

I'm sure I told y'all I'm not sure if I'm preggo, anyhow I had an appt today and he knew. So I woke up, got dressed and left. At the doc office he called and said he's coming so I said fine. Waiting and looking out for him, waitng and looking out for him Then he calls to say he's drinking tea he'll be there in a minute so I said ok. The receptionist came out and told us the doc is gonna be late so we can leave or wait so I left without calling him, I walk in the door to see him sitting on the computer on FACEFRIGGGINBOOK!! His response "you couldn't call and tell me you left the doc, what if I had walked up there?" So I slapped the ###### outta his azz (shouldn't have) and grabbed my laptop and walked away. Now tell me, if you don't wanna come to the doctor's office just fcuking say so, but don't have me sitting there looking out for you and here fcuking rapping on facebook. Rant Over.

I'm trying my best not to put my hands on him because I'd stab his azz if he dare try to hit me back but I was pissed

Girl, while you at it give him a slap for me too.

[MRStee 19]

If you do start to feel like it, you can PM me or IM me or whatever you know!

Congrats to Mikel! I know it's such a help when they have their licenses!

Awww Ells, I missed this thank you so much.....

[MRStee 19]

The communication is very 'strong' on my part....he knows exactly how I'm feeling & what the consequences will be but at times I'm not sure he really understands the gravity of the situation. Almost like he's not taking this seriously enough. I haven't been looking for things but now my feelers are out. I just need proof. I hope to God I don't find any but in a way, I almost wish I would. That would be my decision-maker right there.

I know, it sucks that they don't allow the thief's identity to be known...they wouldn't even tell my friend where 'back East' her debit # had been used. The banks must be aware of the latest scams because they've been pretty accommodating to her as well.

Start looking for prices for airline tickets in his presence and ask him which day he'd like to fly back to JA for good... Mabye that will wake him up!

Edited April 13, 2010 by MRStee

[jamerican 2]

Start looking for prices for airline tickets in his presence and ask him which day he'd like to fly back to JA for good... Mabye that will wake him up!

[MRStee 19]

True dat! And I'd have to add to be extremely scrutinizing before they get here so you aren't sorry once they are. Don't be in such a hurry to get them here that you ignore signs. One thing I can say for myself though is that it's very difficult to distinguish between what are real signs & what is you just being paranoid from past experiences.

Lawd it must be in the air.. we get nice weather and our husbands go ballistic...

[MRStee 19]

Yeah, I have no issue with him having 'girl friends' but when I can tell dyam well that you're on the phone with a female & then deny it, then we have a problem! Thanks for your advice, I'll be just taking things slow & not trying to jump to conclusions or overreact right away.

No Ells "BEAT DAT AZZ" Sike okay nah don't do that lol.. Tell him either shape up or ship out and what date did you say you wanted to go back to JA for good! and add a few rassclots in it!!

[LadyC 1]

Start looking for prices for airline tickets in his presence and ask him which day he'd like to fly back to JA for good... Mabye that will wake him up!

MrsTee that would work