After divorce, what can be done about....

[Fandango 1,440]

Money does not come and go when recession looms over our heads and joblessness at our doorstep. "Duped"? You imply sham marriage...No, this is a legit marriage going sour because of laziness and other problems best known to the poster.

You have a penchant for whining and continuously attacking an opinion presented to the poster mostly at the end. I respect your views, why dont you address your issue to the poster directly. That way the poster has a choice of well presented discussion. You have a valid point, but validity doesn't mean efficiency.

Selling few years? Understand he is months away from citizenship, which he may never apply for, and still get a celebrity lawyer to sue her continuously for years. Use your head sometimes when your heart dominates.

I didn't 'attack' your opinion...I disagree with it. Which, ironically, you yourself said I have a right to (go figure!). Yet, as much as you say you respect my views, you still have the cheek to call me a whiner, which I think is ironic. I'm not offended at all, I just like to point out irony whenever possible.

We obviously come from two different viewpoints, and if you read the op's last thread, she is being treated horribly. I wouldn't advise anyone to stay in that kind of a bad situation just to save some money. That's just me. 'My heart has been broken and stomped on'...that's a very powerful statement, one which I empathize with completely. Anyone who can make his/her spouse feel that way needs to be thrown out on his/her azz like the trash that (s)he is. No one should treat his/her SO with such disregard and contempt. And yes, that's the way I see it.

I said 'a few years' because I am unclear of her timeline. I doubt you are any more clear, because I cannot see where he's 'months away' from citizenship. Another ironic fact, you suggest she stay married until he can get citizenship, yet in your post above, you admit that he may never even apply for it. Money is gained and lost every day, and IMO (key words here)...I wouldn't sell a minute of my time being in a bad marriage on the 'off chance' that he apply and get off my back. Furthermore, it's not even necc a good financial choice either, because staying married to him would mean she's still incurring debt from his regular living expenses/wanting to go home on holidays/etc.

Whether he apply and qualify means tested benefits is one risk...whether some 'celebrity lawyer' takes his case to sue her for a contingent % of what is essentially peanuts is another. However, the affadavit of support is not between her and him, it is between her and the gov't. He cannot sue her based on an agreement to which he is not a party. Futhermore, will the gov't sue her? Possibly, possibly not. It is all up for speculation. What is NOT up for speculation is that if she stay with him purely based on these financial motives, it will absolutely cost her more money than being without him, where the alternative may not wind up costing as much. Yes, it's a risk...but what is your happiness worth?

You say 'use your head not your heart', yet I see your suggestion as foolhardy, filled with emotional torment (which is bad for your health) and not even financially beneficial.

[3600rs 24]

Well the OP has got enough to digest by our tirade of conflicting views. Whatever she decides hopefully ends in her favor.

Peace.