HELP! wife arrived on CR1 now wants to leave me

[gwapojames 0]

my wife arrived 3 months ago on a CR1 visa..she got her SS# and temporary green card. now she wants to leave me. she says she is unhappy with not finding work and wants to go live with her filipino friends in other states. her friends, instead of telling her to stay with the marriage...are trying to get her to live with them and find work there. my wife claims i can't support her which is bullshit! she is using that as a excuse to leave me. she says we can still be married and she will work why there and contribute to our marriage. i say it's marriage fraud and told her if she leaves this marriage, i will divorce her. what will happen if i divorce her before her adjustmant of status in two years? I need a experts opinion on what i should do and my options...i would like to have her deported if she leaves me...since i believe its marriage fraud. thanks

[john_and_marlene 162]

my wife arrived 3 months ago on a CR1 visa..she got her SS# and temporary green card. now she wants to leave me. she says she is unhappy with not finding work and wants to go live with her filipino friends in other states. her friends, instead of telling her to stay with the marriage...are trying to get her to live with them and find work there. my wife claims i can't support her which is bullshit! she is using that as a excuse to leave me. she says we can still be married and she will work why there and contribute to our marriage. i say it's marriage fraud and told her if she leaves this marriage, i will divorce her. what will happen if i divorce her before her adjustmant of status in two years? I need a experts opinion on what i should do and my options...i would like to have her deported if she leaves me...since i believe its marriage fraud. thanks

Sounds like marriage fraud to me too. However, you cannot have her deported. You can divorce her and report your suspicion to ICE and then it is up to them.

She will not be adjusting status in 2 years--there's no status to adjust as she is already a permanent resident. She will have to apply to remove conditions of her residency. Those conditions are meant to safeguard against exactly this situation where the USC was used for a GC. Let her go, but don't tell her you are divorcing her until after she is gone. Her best hope to remove conditions without proof of a bonafide marriage is to claim abuse and that will be hard to prove if she leaves the home without a battle. If she knows you will divorce her, she may very well stage an abuse situation and have you arrested so that she will have evidence.

[littlecrazyangel 1]

I'm very sorry to hear what happened to you. You were used. You were the "ticket" to USA.In 2 years she will have to remove the conditions. She will need proof that you have a bona fide marriage which you don't have. You can divorce or report her. They take this kind of stuffs very seriously.

[Anh map 2,098]

It may be worth the time and expense to consult a family law attorney as well as an immigration attorney to gain advice regarding your situation.

[besaangel 18]

Sorry to hear about your situation

[Markieboy 104]

Sounds like marriage fraud to me too. However, you cannot have her deported. You can divorce her and report your suspicion to ICE and then it is up to them.

She will not be adjusting status in 2 years--there's no status to adjust as she is already a permanent resident. She will have to apply to remove conditions of her residency. Those conditions are meant to safeguard against exactly this situation where the USC was used for a GC. Let her go, but don't tell her you are divorcing her until after she is gone. Her best hope to remove conditions without proof of a bonafide marriage is to claim abuse and that will be hard to prove if she leaves the home without a battle. If she knows you will divorce her, she may very well stage an abuse situation and have you arrested so that she will have evidence.

Very good advice!

I'm sorry for your situation.

[3600rs 24]

my wife arrived 3 months ago on a CR1 visa..she got her SS# and temporary green card. now she wants to leave me. she says she is unhappy with not finding work and wants to go live with her filipino friends in other states. her friends, instead of telling her to stay with the marriage...are trying to get her to live with them and find work there. my wife claims i can't support her which is bullshit! she is using that as a excuse to leave me. she says we can still be married and she will work why there and contribute to our marriage. i say it's marriage fraud and told her if she leaves this marriage, i will divorce her. what will happen if i divorce her before her adjustmant of status in two years? I need a experts opinion on what i should do and my options...i would like to have her deported if she leaves me...since i believe its marriage fraud. thanks

Marriage fraud or not will be decided by USCIS depending on her good faith evidence and your proof of fraud. It will be a battle of documents at the end.

We are not talking about bitter complaints, feelings of rejection, word of mouth evidence and whispers. Immigration doesn't care why your wife left you, she has her green card and her conditions will be removed based on her good faith evidence. You can always give your part of the story along with evidence to your local USCIS. Immigration fraud call for permanent bans from the US, you need high quality evidence of fraud. If not, she will eventually win and stay here permanently.

Keep your assets safe ASAP! Run dont walk.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Sounds like marriage fraud to me too. However, you cannot have her deported. You can divorce her and report your suspicion to ICE and then it is up to them.

She will not be adjusting status in 2 years--there's no status to adjust as she is already a permanent resident. She will have to apply to remove conditions of her residency. Those conditions are meant to safeguard against exactly this situation where the USC was used for a GC. Let her go, but don't tell her you are divorcing her until after she is gone. Her best hope to remove conditions without proof of a bonafide marriage is to claim abuse and that will be hard to prove if she leaves the home without a battle. If she knows you will divorce her, she may very well stage an abuse situation and have you arrested so that she will have evidence.

Marriage fraud or not will be decided by USCIS depending on her good faith evidence and your proof of fraud. It will be a battle of documents at the end.

We are not talking about bitter complaints, feelings of rejection, word of mouth evidence and whispers. Immigration doesn't care why your wife left you, she has her green card and her conditions will be removed based on her good faith evidence. You can always give your part of the story along with evidence to your local USCIS. Immigration fraud call for permanent bans from the US, you need high quality evidence of fraud. If not, she will eventually win and stay here permanently.

Keep your assets safe ASAP! Run dont walk.

These are the best advice. There's lots of things she'll need to prove a good faith marriage that "just unfortunately ended in divorce" such as evidence of co-mingling (you guys living together while married) which can be mail with a joint address, joint bank accounts, photos, affidavits from friends etc.

Another thing that hasn't been mentioned is even after divorce you are financially responsible for her. The I-864 is binding so if she ever tries to get government assistance the government may come after you to pay them back. The only thing that cancels it is her giving up the greencard and leaving, death, and working 40 quarters of work (around 10 years).

I personally advise filing for divorce ASAP and then sending that info to the appropriate people. Letting them know that you believe you were used for a greencard. Try not to be too emotional about it because they will stop listening. Let them know everything that's happened, how she has friends telling her to come to them. if you have evidence of this, or her plans that's something you should forward on. Then you need to move on once the divorce is complete. Leave her to her own devices and let her fail or succeed on her own and let yourself be happy again.

Things like this really make me sick. I honestly can't believe sometimes that people like this are out there. Naive? Yes but damn, it's so upsetting

Edited March 22, 2010 by Vanessa&Tony

[KC99 0]

Am so sorry to hear this, if thats what she is really up to, You need to look out for yourself and be the smarter person.

Get irrefutable evidence,(intent can be challenging to proove) talk to professionals - a PI ,lawyer, USCIS near you.Try have reliable witnesses when she reveals her intentions

Research options as per your finances - if she ends up with 250,000USD fine for visa fraud, you dont want to be involved with that!!!

Dont think you shld ask for a divorce just yet, perhaps thats what she is setting you up to do. Wait and accumulate evidence!!!

She needs a LOONNGGG rope to hang herself with b4 the 90days to your 2nd anniversary.

Even if she cant get deported, it should be possible to have her flagged so that she cant EVER naturalise and even as an LPR, all her imigrant petitions are denied!

It might be hard to be calm and calculating while you have been so betrayed, but you have to be to protect yourself and have the last laugh!!

[3600rs 24]

Am so sorry to hear this, if thats what she is really up to, You need to look out for yourself and be the smarter person.

Get irrefutable evidence,(intent can be challenging to proove) talk to professionals - a PI ,lawyer, USCIS near you.Try have reliable witnesses when she reveals her intentions

Research options as per your finances - if she ends up with 250,000USD fine for visa fraud, you dont want to be involved with that!!!

Dont think you shld ask for a divorce just yet, perhaps thats what she is setting you up to do. Wait and accumulate evidence!!!

She needs a LOONNGGG rope to hang herself with b4 the 90days to your 2nd anniversary.

Even if she cant get deported, it should be possible to have her flagged so that she cant EVER naturalise and even as an LPR, all her imigrant petitions are denied!

It might be hard to be calm and calculating while you have been so betrayed, but you have to be to protect yourself and have the last laugh!!

The USC needs all-conclusive irrefutable pure evidence of her fraud, something that was preconceived and preplanned. They knew each other before marriage, they consummated the marriage, and she fell out of love after coming here. There is no fraud involved. As long as she had good faith intent at the time of marriage she will be fine. Only fraud can get her deported, and that requires high quality evidence, or it will be looked as another sour spouse syndrome. Delaying her divorce will be looked as abuse and cruelty by you, another basis to apply for a waiver without a divorce decree. She can sue the USC with the I864 legally in court for expenses. Flagging the case will lead to delays with more scrutiny but without unilateral fraud evidence there is nothing much the USC can do. A complaint of fraud effects future applications made by the USC.

Hate to be devils advocate. Question to the betrayed OP: What proof of fraud you have apart from what you have mentioned in your first post?

[3600rs 24]

In addition to the above; USCIS is aware of both sides of the story. One where the USC could play the marriage fraud card to seek revenge, and on the other side how the alien spouse could have a fraud scheme to dupe the USC. If the marriage breaks down with a USC instead of an Alien then no one shouts marriage fraud.

[SuperDuper! 230]

Sorry you didn't have her here on a K1, and not legally bound to her. Good luck!

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

my wife arrived 3 months ago on a CR1 visa..she got her SS# and temporary green card. now she wants to leave me. she says she is unhappy with not finding work and wants to go live with her filipino friends in other states. her friends, instead of telling her to stay with the marriage...are trying to get her to live with them and find work there. my wife claims i can't support her which is bullshit! she is using that as a excuse to leave me. she says we can still be married and she will work why there and contribute to our marriage. i say it's marriage fraud and told her if she leaves this marriage, i will divorce her. what will happen if i divorce her before her adjustmant of status in two years? I need a experts opinion on what i should do and my options...i would like to have her deported if she leaves me...since i believe its marriage fraud. thanks

I'm going to play the other side of the coin on this one, not because I "know" this to be true but because sometimes you need to sit back and look at all aspects of your situation.

James, how familiar are you with Philippine culture? Nowhere in your post did you say "She wants to divorce". In the Philippines it isn't uncommon for a family member to spend months at a time working away from the family to help support the whole family. Right now my mother-in-law's neighbor is raising one of her grandkids while her daughter works most of the year on a cruise ship to help support the family.

Is it possible that your wife is feeling a lot of guilt over coming here and becoming a burden to you? My wife has expressed these exact feelings, we more accurately I coaxed it out of her. Maybe she believes that if she finds work somewhere else for 6 months or so then when she comes back she'll have a better chance to find work locally.

Do yourself a favor and ignore the immigration ####### for right now. Just focus on your marriage, isn't that what's really important anyway?

My wife was hit with a big case of "Sticker Shock" when she saw with her own eyes exactly how expensive life is here. She's always known my salary and to her Philippine raising I was making a ridiculous amount of money. Now she finally can put it into perspective seeing that my monthly housing costs exceed most Filipino's annual earning potential if they stay local.

She really felt guilty and has mentioned leaving (because she was a burden on me) a few times.

If you really love her then sit down, shut-up and listen to what she's really saying.

[3600rs 24]

bobanna:

Very good post. I agree to you completely. Just mere coincidence, I was a Shipping Engineer right after school, and my crew was Phillipino.

[nane1104 146]

I'm going to play the other side of the coin on this one, not because I "know" this to be true but because sometimes you need to sit back and look at all aspects of your situation.

James, how familiar are you with Philippine culture? Nowhere in your post did you say "She wants to divorce". In the Philippines it isn't uncommon for a family member to spend months at a time working away from the family to help support the whole family. Right now my mother-in-law's neighbor is raising one of her grandkids while her daughter works most of the year on a cruise ship to help support the family.

Is it possible that your wife is feeling a lot of guilt over coming here and becoming a burden to you? My wife has expressed these exact feelings, we more accurately I coaxed it out of her. Maybe she believes that if she finds work somewhere else for 6 months or so then when she comes back she'll have a better chance to find work locally.

Do yourself a favor and ignore the immigration ####### for right now. Just focus on your marriage, isn't that what's really important anyway?

My wife was hit with a big case of "Sticker Shock" when she saw with her own eyes exactly how expensive life is here. She's always known my salary and to her Philippine raising I was making a ridiculous amount of money. Now she finally can put it into perspective seeing that my monthly housing costs exceed most Filipino's annual earning potential if they stay local.

She really felt guilty and has mentioned leaving (because she was a burden on me) a few times.

If you really love her then sit down, shut-up and listen to what she's really saying.

I couldn't agree more!

If your wife even offered to still contribute to your household income, that really doesn't sound like marriage fraud to me at all.

My MIL is filippina and I could totally see her doing the same thing. As a matter of fact, I know she has spend time away from her family and worked at a different place than where her husband lived.

As emotional she can be, she can be just as rational when it comes to money and earning it and I think I can safely assume, this is typical for other filippinos, as she is not the only one I know and see how they handle situations like you described it.

Id say, sit down with your wife, explain how you feel and ask her, why exactly she wants to move out of State to be with her friends. Maybe she feels still kinda out of place too and needs company of her countrymen? Does she already know filippinos in your area?

Have a real talk without accusations of fraud and see what's really behind her plans.

Good luck!!