Because You Had a Bad Day...

[CarolineM 0]

Wow Rebecca that is sooo pognant. I totally did the same thing on my last trip to Oz. I still can't believe he would have given that up for me..but

honestly that post is 100% spot on Thank you

[Mandi+Ryan 1]

Well, I got a shot of B-12 today while I was at work. Another nurse said if I get B-12 injections it will help. Just so much on my mind today, including the other topic I recently posted about. I can't handle it.

[cheeky^Wolf 0]

I wanted to share with you something that has happened to a good friend of mine.

She was a single mother, didn't work and lived each day hand to mouth to make sure her kids were clothed and fed.

She met a guy 2 years ago and fell in love, they got married a year later and are besotted with eachother.

6 months ago she started getting stressed with her job.. long hours, no gratitude, arrogant boss etc. She started losing weight due to not eating and honestly looked like sh!t. Her whole personality changed and she went from a confident outgoing person to a withdrawn emotional wreck.

She went to the doctors and was diagnosed as depressed, signed off from work and prescribed medication. She went back to work after 2 months, cut down her hours and responsibilities and was much happier.

I spoke to her last week and she's back in her big black hole.. but this time her husband is in it with her. They are now both off work with depression and on medication. She describes it as "romantic" (??), I see it that they are enablers for eachother. He is extremely dependant on her, high jealousy levels, very controlling and I can't help but think that he is at the root of her depression.

My point to all this Mandi is that when Ryan eventually comes over, if you are low, chances are you will bring him down with you. As others have said, waiting for EAD, AOS #######, weddings and the general change in his life is enough to stress to deal with without him having to worry about your health too. I totally agree with others that you need to sort yourself out before his arrival.

I read your other thread about the "I hate you" comment. That's an awful thing for him to say, whether he meant it or not, it's the last thing you need to hear right now. I really hope he has apologised to you for saying it.

You know it's frustrating, he knows it's frustrating, but I know when we were going through the process, Dave said to me on numerous occasions "You think we can talk about something other than the visa process?". It does consume you but you can't let it take over your life and be your only topic of conversation. It's out of your control at the moment, there's nothing you can do to get Ryan to you quicker and you can't keep beating yourself up about it. You coped in life before he was around so you can cope now. He hasn't left you forever, this is just a temporary separation.

I made a point of being upbeat and jovial when I spoke to Dave on the phone. He was going through a tough time over here and I knew me whining about missing him and the visa process wouldn't make him feel any better.

If you can do it, why don't you start looking for somewhere to live now? It will give you something else to channel your thoughts into and it sounds like you need your own space. Plus I would think it would help Ryan ease into his new life if you already had your new home set up and ready for him, rather than have to live with your family ( think of the laundry you have to catch up on )

Helen

P.S. Sorry I seem to have rambled, blame too much coffee!