urgent help

[Ann25 4]

Ok, I think I get it...

Ann is a Philippine national.

She has a daughter from a previous relationship with a US Citizen.

Baby-Daddy is a real jerk-hole and wants to prevent Ann from getting to the US so he won't cooperate with CRBA or sign travel consent.

=====================================================================

Where was the baby born? is she a Philippine Citizen also?

Check the links in my signature. If the baby is Philippine Citizen then you have Sole Custody as she was born out of wedlock.

Return to the Philippines & see if you can transfer your case to the US Embassy in Manila. This won't be a problem there.

Ok to understand more. When my ex boyfriend and I broke up, he was a bit crazy I guess. He is married now to one of my relative but his acting strange. He always tell me that my daughter and I are always his. Yes, even though how many times tried to let him understand but still wont listen. Thats him from that start. But my daughter is using his family name coz he acknowledge her on the birth certificate.

So, I met this boyfriend of mine now and we applied for fiance visa. I even wrote a letter and print and highlighted the one you said but yes, I dont know whats wrong. Last night, my boyfriend and I decided to really work this out but never leave my daughter behind because he knows, this wont make me happy living there.

Coz I asked the consulate what if I can't have the requirements for CRBA, then she said, just try and if you are denied, she goes with K2 visa and dont get US passport. Yes I do understand that she can have her US passport right away, but what if not and just use the Philippine passport?

Where do you think I could find answers on how to change embassy from here in Thailand to Philippines?

Thank you and hope to get more replies concerning this.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Yes, father is a US Citizen.

Do you know if i can just go and maybe leave my daughter in Philippines coz I am from Philippines

If you would be willing to abandon your daughter I would break off the engagement...period, no questions asked if you even suggested it.

You need permission from the father, your daughter has claim to US citizenship, which you have not excerised, clearly because her interests are second place to yours. She is not eligible for a visa because she doesnt need one. You should have gotten the letter from the father before your current US citizen petitioner filed the petition. You and your fiance have failed to prepare for your circumstances. Now you have failed to get a visa...it is entirely predictable.

At this point, I would say, go back and do this right. I know that will sound cruel and harsh because it is not what you want to hear, but it is what you should have done many months ago, you didn't because you are selfish and wanted this to go quickly. It didn't. It won't. stop wasting time.

Let this visa application die. Say goodbye to this application, it is far too messed up by improper handling.

File the CRBA papers for your daughter. Put your child first like good parents should do, your fiance will go along with this if he is a guy worth marrying. Men worth marrying put children first before thier interest, or I should say...children ARE their interest. Get her a US passport. Get hold of her ftaher and get a permission letter...deal with it like an adult. Then file another petition for a K-1 visa.

[az110965 252]

[Ann25 4]

If you would be willing to abandon your daughter I would break off the engagement...period, no questions asked if you even suggested it.

You need permission from the father, your daughter has claim to US citizenship, which you have not excerised, clearly because her interests are second place to yours. She is not eligible for a visa because she doesnt need one. You should have gotten the letter from the father before your current US citizen petitioner filed the petition. You and your fiance have failed to prepare for your circumstances. Now you have failed to get a visa...it is entirely predictable.

At this point, I would say, go back and do this right. I know that will sound cruel and harsh because it is not what you want to hear, but it is what you should have done many months ago, you didn't because you are selfish and wanted this to go quickly. It didn't. It won't. stop wasting time.

Let this visa application die. Say goodbye to this application, it is far too messed up by improper handling.

File the CRBA papers for your daughter. Put your child first like good parents should do, your fiance will go along with this if he is a guy worth marrying. Men worth marrying put children first before thier interest, or I should say...children ARE their interest. Get her a US passport. Get hold of her ftaher and get a permission letter...deal with it like an adult. Then file another petition for a K-1 visa.

Some point you are right but in some point, you cant judge in that way. We were not selfish that we filed so quickly, actually been many months since we started and we tried to search about her. If I could just get her a US passport, I could have done it since in the beginning, but what can i do? i am not the one with the US citizen that I can just go and file, I need the fathers help and with out his help, theres nothing I can. And if the father cared, he would do it, but he never cared because some people are too selfish. So, i think the next time you judge a person so harsh and cruel, try to know everything first. yes, I asked about leaving my daughter but it wasnt that way coz we thought of another plan. But yes, if I can just give her that one, the requirements, I have done that since the beginning... But theres nothing I can do if the father wont.. SO TRY NOT TO BE HARSH BEFORE YOU HURT SOMEONE...

[az110965 252]

Not that I speak for Gary and Alla but I agree COMPLETELY with what they posed to you (OP).

If my fiancee EVER told me that she was prepared to come to the USA without her 6 year old daughter I'd run as fast as I could from her because I'd immediately know where her priorities were (and they're not in the correct place)...

You are quick to place all the blame on the USC father and in fact - he might be to blame for not wanting to give you what you want... BUT - you should have had all of this sorted out BEFORE filing for the I129-F. These things need to be figured out ahead of time so that there are no surprises when it's interview and immigrating time.

Just my $.02

Alan

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

If you would be willing to abandon your daughter I would break off the engagement...period, no questions asked if you even suggested it.

You need permission from the father, your daughter has claim to US citizenship, which you have not excerised, clearly because her interests are second place to yours. She is not eligible for a visa because she doesnt need one. You should have gotten the letter from the father before your current US citizen petitioner filed the petition. You and your fiance have failed to prepare for your circumstances. Now you have failed to get a visa...it is entirely predictable.

At this point, I would say, go back and do this right. I know that will sound cruel and harsh because it is not what you want to hear, but it is what you should have done many months ago, you didn't because you are selfish and wanted this to go quickly. It didn't. It won't. stop wasting time.

Let this visa application die. Say goodbye to this application, it is far too messed up by improper handling.

File the CRBA papers for your daughter. Put your child first like good parents should do, your fiance will go along with this if he is a guy worth marrying. Men worth marrying put children first before thier interest, or I should say...children ARE their interest. Get her a US passport. Get hold of her ftaher and get a permission letter...deal with it like an adult. Then file another petition for a K-1 visa.

I totally agree with everything that has been stated here, and changing to another embassy won't help your case, we are in the 20th century, everything is documented via computer. The next embassy will know what was asked of you from the first interview. You can not run away from this problem, it will have to be resolved. It looks as if the father isn't going to give permission, so you will have to deal with this in the best intrest of the child.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Some point you are right but in some point, you cant judge in that way. We were not selfish that we filed so quickly, actually been many months since we started and we tried to search about her. If I could just get her a US passport, I could have done it since in the beginning, but what can i do? i am not the one with the US citizen that I can just go and file, I need the fathers help and with out his help, theres nothing I can. And if the father cared, he would do it, but he never cared because some people are too selfish. So, i think the next time you judge a person so harsh and cruel, try to know everything first. yes, I asked about leaving my daughter but it wasnt that way coz we thought of another plan. But yes, if I can just give her that one, the requirements, I have done that since the beginning... But theres nothing I can do if the father wont.. SO TRY NOT TO BE HARSH BEFORE YOU HURT SOMEONE...

Ann, sometimes the truth does hurt, but if you can live with your decision of leaving your daughter, then you are right, we have no right in judging you. As I read more of your comments, maybe giving your daughter over to her father for a period of time, might make him see things a little clear. I am not saying this is what you should do, but this has to be a decision between all involve parties.

Remember, as the child's father he does have rights, and they should not be ignored.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

I totally agree with everything that has been stated here, and changing to another embassy won't help your case, we are in the 20th century, everything is documented via computer. The next embassy will know what was asked of you from the first interview. You can not run away from this problem, it will have to be resolved. It looks as if the father isn't going to give permission, so you will have to deal with this in the best intrest of the child.

The OP is from the Philippines...

Under Philippine Law she doesn't need the bio daddy for anything as she has sole custody of the baby.

She can't do CRBA without the bio-daddy's help so that's not an option for her.

Had she dome her interview in Manila then this would not be a problem'

Had she just wanted to abandon the baby and come to the US she wouldn't be here asking questions.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Remember, as the child's father he does have rights, and they should not be ignored.

Did you just skim this thread? The bio-dad is being a jerk and has flat-out refused to cooperate. He dumped her for a relative of hers and has told her that she will always belong to him. Sounds like a controlling a$$wipe of a man-child to me.

Why would anyone suggest giving the baby to a bio-daddy who abandoned her and her mommy? Jerks like him are not daddies, they're sperm donors.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

To answer your question have you herad from the father as to his side of the story, to everyside story there are 3 sides, her's his and the truth. If you know of more infromation, then please tell it.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

It doesn't matter if she was from MARS, the father is a USC and she is trying to bring that child, to the US, so he could make more trouble for her here if he chooses to. Before you start shouting and assuming, making as #### your self, she MUST follow the US laws if she wishes to bring that child here.

She didn't interview in the PHIL, so that's a mute point, she interviewed in Manila, and they have made their request.

Did you just skim this thread? The bio-dad is being a jerk and has flat-out refused to cooperate. He dumped her for a relative of hers and has told her that she will always belong to him. Sounds like a controlling a$$wipe of a man-child to me.

Why would anyone suggest giving the baby to a bio-daddy who abandoned her and her mommy? Jerks like him are not daddies, they're sperm donors.

According to Ann, this jerk has married a cousin in the family, so the family didn't think he was a jerk, They have welcomed him with open arms. Maybe this has something to say about the entire family...LMAO.

Edited March 20, 2010 by LIFE'SJOURNEY

[pushbrk 12,898]

The OP is from the Philippines...

Under Philippine Law she doesn't need the bio daddy for anything as she has sole custody of the baby.

She can't do CRBA without the bio-daddy's help so that's not an option for her.

Had she dome her interview in Manila then this would not be a problem'

Had she just wanted to abandon the baby and come to the US she wouldn't be here asking questions.

Consular officers are charged with obeying local laws with regard to children but they are also charged with protecting the rights of US Citizens and those with claim to US Citizenship. That means they must concern themselves with the father's rights as a US Citizen and this child's right to US Citizenship. As such, I would expect Manila to deal with this case the same way Bangkok has. If the father were French or British, different story.

This not only should all have been sorted out before the petition was filed but before a foreign relationship was taken serious. That's all water under the bridge now. Ann is no faced with either complying with the Consulate's request or abandoning this attempt to bring the child to the USA.

Moralizing about what the US Citizen decides to accept with regard to the child is off-topic and IMO, inappropriate.

Edited March 20, 2010 by pushbrk

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

It doesn't matter if she was from MARS, the father is a USC and she is trying to bring that child, to the US, so he could make more trouble for her here if he chooses to. Before you start shouting and assuming, making as #### your self, she MUST follow the US laws if she wishes to bring that child here.

She didn't interview in the PHIL, so that's a mute point, she interviewed in Manila, and they have made their request.

According to Ann, this jerk has married a cousin in the family, so the family didn't think he was a jerk, They have welcomed him with open arms. Maybe this has something to say about the entire family...LMAO.

Now I never made a personal insult on you. How much do you understand of Philippine people & culture? I make my assumptions based on what info is available to me. I called him a jerk because of how he abandoned his biological daughter and how he still is trying to strong-arm Ann, not because he married one of Ann's relatives. Of course I have only what she says to go by.

On what are you assuming that her whole family has welcomed him with open arms? I don't recall Ann saying anything about that and yet you pass judgement on her whole family!

You are correct though that once the baby is in the US he would have a better chance to exercise his parental rights but Ann would also have a better chance to seek child support from him.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

The insulting and judgmental comments in this thread are inappropriate and border on the TOS violation of personal attacks. They are certainly not justified or warranted by the information posted by the OP. If you are not able to frame your advice in words that are helpful rather than hurtful, then do not respond. Further attacks on the OP and/or her situation will be dealt with administratively. Do not continue to attack and insult each other either.

Edited March 20, 2010 by Kathryn41

[FrancElsie 6]

Hello,

They specifically told you what they needed and in no uncertain terms. So, the short answer to your question is...YES, you must do and get exactly what has been requested of you. There is no other way around this situation.

Seems like a mess has been made here. IF the father of your daughter is an USC, then your daughter is a USC by birth. But, am I understanding you correctly that someone else signed her birth certificate as "father?" You are no longer involved with this man (the "real" father...is that correct? However IF he is an USC, maybe he has reasons that he does not want you/daugher to come to the USA to live. (Child support issues, etc.)

Also, I'm confused "why?" you would consider leaving a child behind in the Philippines. You have a messy situation here....

Best Wishes,

Franc