Pre-nuptial agreement

[glecy-jay 0]

Hi.just came to the states last month and we plan to have a civil wedding ceremony this coming 28th.But before that my fiance is asking me to sign for pre-nuptial agreement.He is widowed for 9 years and have 2 sons not living with us.I think he dont trust me!!if ur in my situation guys what's ur reaction or opinion.Do u agree with prenup?any comments pls.

[Ontarkie 14,539]

Did he just bring this up after you came to the US, I think it is very rude of him to just assume you should sign one.

For some ppl prenups are necessary, not that you cannot be trusted but more for the sake of protecting children that are from a previous marriage, a family business and such. But things like this should of been talked about right from the start.

If he asked you to sign one have him get you your own lawyer one that is only for you. Add your own clause to the prenup such as he cheats or is abusive the prenup is void, if the marriage last long then 10 yrs the prenup can be tossed. I have heard of these types of request being in a prenup. Definitely do not sign anything without your own lawyer.

[inloveVEN 46]

Hi Glecy-jay

I think, i can undestand perfectly your concerns because in my opinion those are things that should have been talked before all this K-1 process.

But in the other hand, if you both really love each other this is something on what you donn´t need to be worried about.

But please doublecheck this agreement. it only have to be related to things before your marriage becuase you are starting a new life and now everything new belongs to you as well as to your husband.

So go ahead, and don't let this agreement block your happines

Wish you luck

[Zen Den 18]

Hi.just came to the states last month and we plan to have a civil wedding ceremony this coming 28th.But before that my fiance is asking me to sign for pre-nuptial agreement.He is widowed for 9 years and have 2 sons not living with us.I think he dont trust me!!if ur in my situation guys what's ur reaction or opinion.Do u agree with prenup?any comments pls.

it's probably not because he doesn't trust you but because he wants to protect specific things that he has put aside for his 2 sons and for himself that might become automatically conjugal if he doesn't make the pre-nup.

talk about it with him, make sure it doesn't say you will get absolutely nothing if he dies or you get divorced, because then that would be a different story.

if he doesn't trust you, then sign the pre-nup to prove that you're trustworthy (you're not after his properties because he acquired them before he met you anyway) plus here in the states divorce happens to 1 in every 3 marriages (i could be wrong) so that could be another thing.

sign it, you have nothing to lose if you don't have properties yourself, or if you do, the pre-nup protects you from losing them.

[Bobby+Umit 161]

Hi.just came to the states last month and we plan to have a civil wedding ceremony this coming 28th.But before that my fiance is asking me to sign for pre-nuptial agreement.He is widowed for 9 years and have 2 sons not living with us.I think he dont trust me!!if ur in my situation guys what's ur reaction or opinion.Do u agree with prenup?any comments pls.

Prenups have nothing to do with trust, it has to do with protecting your assets.

As echoed above, he has 2 sons, which he is probably trying to protect.

Strange he didn't mention this prior to bringing you here.

By all means, get your own lawyer to look it over prior to signing it, then do what it is recommended by your lawyer. (do not use his lawyer)

[16freekisses 0]

The culture is quite different in the U.S. and the Philippines. It's okay for you to feel shocked or hurt since pre-nuptual agreements are basically unheard of in the Philippines. Be open to your fiance if it makes you uncomfortable and any other feelings you have on the subject. He is the only one who can give your heart reassurance.

I'm positive he did not mean to make you upset - it's just that in the U.S., divorce rates are fairly high so pre-nuptual agreements are an average practice. I agree with letting him get you your own lawyer to oversee your own interests too.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

I do not know how well you know your husband to be, and how well your husband to be knows you, but in the US, sadly, about half of all marriages end in divorce, eventually.

What that means is that somebody who wants to marry somebody, yet has considerable assets, he or she will try to protect them in case a divorce takes place. Imagine you have saved all of your life, finally got 1 million dollars scraped together for a comfortable retirement, marry some guy, and a short time later he divorces you and asks for half of your million, all happy about his new fortune. I don't think you would want that to happen to you, and on the same token your husband to be would not want that to happen to him.

Hence, it has become quite common to introduce a prenuptial agreement into a marriage to be. If your marriage stays in good shape, the pre-nup will never mean anything. It's like an insurance policy for the worst case scenario. Many men (and quite a few wealthy women) use it to avoid "gold diggers" who only marry for their own, selfish motives. If this doesn't apply to you, there's nothing to worry about. Sign it, as no pre-nup can prevent you from getting what the law assigns to a divorced spouse anyway. On the other hand, if you refuse to sign it, the marriage might not take place at all, depending on how much your husband to be values his life savings.

Edited March 18, 2010 by Just Bob

[DARUMA07 25]

Don't take the Pre-Nup personally! He is only trying to protect his interest to everything prior to your marriage. It has nothing to do with trust! As others have said, get yourself an attorney too. You will ok! A big Congrats on your upcoming wedding!!

[glecy-jay 0]

Thanks my vj family.i feel lil bit ok now.God bless everyone!

[rheanick 42]

Hi.just came to the states last month and we plan to have a civil wedding ceremony this coming 28th.But before that my fiance is asking me to sign for pre-nuptial agreement.He is widowed for 9 years and have 2 sons not living with us.I think he dont trust me!!if ur in my situation guys what's ur reaction or opinion.Do u agree with prenup?any comments pls.

He has two sons. He has to protect also his two sons for this upcoming marriage. For your own protection, you should have your own lawyer to look on the prenup agreements. Prenup works both ways, it would also protect your assets.

Edited March 18, 2010 by rheanick

[justashooter 430]

Thanks my vj family.i feel lil bit ok now.God bless everyone!

glad to see you understand now that this is common practice. it is suprising that he did not mention it before your arrival, but this may be because it is so common. he would be asking for this with any woman, from any country. if he was not, he'd be an idiot not worth marrying.

imagine marrying a guy who is not smart enough to protect himself. what kind of danger will he allow his wife to find herself in by association with him?

[Gumbolette 58]

I understand why your aspiring husband would ask you to sign pre-nup. But as echoed above, he should have asked you earlier even before you arrived here in the States. As for me, when I WAS asked to sign one, I NEVER sign it since he doesn't even have assets to begin with. I was pretty insulted at first.

If you know your intentions are true and clean on marrying your husband, I would stand on my point that he doesn't have to ask me a pre-nup.

Marriage is "what ever is yours is mine, and whatever is mine is yours".

Edited March 22, 2010 by Cutie_Patootie

[rheanick 42]

I understand why your aspiring husband would ask you to sign pre-nup. But as echoed above, he should have asked you earlier even before you arrived here in the States. As for me, when I WAS asked to sign one, I NEVER sign it since he doesn't even have assets to begin with. I was pretty insulted at first.

If you know your intentions are true and clean on marrying your husband, I would stand on my point that he doesn't have to ask me a pre-nup.

Marriage is "what ever is yours is mine, and whatever is mine is yours".

Your case of not signing the pre-nuptial is understandable coz as you mentioned he does not have assets.

But why would a guy without any assets would ask her wife-to-be sign pre-nuptial? Does it indicate that the pre-nuptial is so widely acceptable here that even a guy without assets do it.

I always associate pre-nuptial with assets. Please educate me if i'm wrong. If there is no assets, i could not find the logic in doing a pre-nuptial without assets.

[pepperoni 0]

Your case of not signing the pre-nuptial is understandable coz as you mentioned he does not have assets.

But why would a guy without any assets would ask her wife-to-be sign pre-nuptial? Does it indicate that the pre-nuptial is so widely acceptable here that even a guy without assets do it.

I always associate pre-nuptial with assets. Please educate me if i'm wrong. If there is no assets, i could not find the logic in doing a pre-nuptial without assets.

He asked me to sign for pre-nup coz he owns a small business, house and have some assets.But thanks guys we already talked about and he explained to me everything and its very clear for me now.Sorry guys im not after his assets but i was just shocked before when he asked me for pre-nup coz i dunno anything about.THANKS EVERYONE!Peace.

[Gumbolette 58]

Your case of not signing the pre-nuptial is understandable coz as you mentioned he does not have assets.

But why would a guy without any assets would ask her wife-to-be sign pre-nuptial? Does it indicate that the pre-nuptial is so widely acceptable here that even a guy without assets do it.

I always associate pre-nuptial with assets. Please educate me if i'm wrong. If there is no assets, i could not find the logic in doing a pre-nuptial without assets.

As to what I can remember, he will be RECEIVING a good amount of inheritance from his mom. That's prolly why he asked me for pre-nup.

However, my then fiance now husband talked over things and I clearly cited to him that if he doesn't trust me, or he is in doubt of me, then, he is very free to not marry me. He apologized and now, we are about to celebrate our 2nd yr anniv.