Blond Joke

[BishopM 114]

What have Irishmen and Jesus Christ got in common?

The both lived with their mother until they were 33 and neither had a job.

I must be related to the Irish Jesus

Joke = Joke...simple equation

[Peikko 1,575]

It must SO suck to be a liberal. SO Suck. Look, I am no racists/sexist/homophobe, I really couldn't care, but I still laugh at a good joke.

I must be a liberal because you say so, and that must necessarily be a bad thing, because you say so, and being a liberal means one can't have a sense of humour, because you say so. Excellent logic skills at work there mate

Some people really suck at evaluating other people online.

[luckytxn 2,264]

Stop it all of you. Don't make fun of us blondes. I am a blonde Filipina.

That would explain a lot.

[luckytxn 2,264]

I remember years ago I started dating a blonde and she was awesome of course for the obvious reason but I was going to go hunting and asked if she wanted to go. She accepted and that next weekend we went out to the deer lease. The first morning I took her to the first station and set her up in her deer blind and went to my blind and after I was about half way I heard a shot and went back to where I had left her. As I got to the clearing I saw her arguing with another person.

"It is mine," the man said.

"No mine," she said.

"No it is mine."

She raised her rifle and cocked it, "mine."

He pointed at the dead animal," OK OK, it is YOUR deer but just let me take my saddle off."

[Scott & Lai 12]

I remember years ago I started dating a blonde and she was awesome of course for the obvious reason but I was going to go hunting and asked if she wanted to go. She accepted and that next weekend we went out to the deer lease. The first morning I took her to the first station and set her up in her deer blind and went to my blind and after I was about half way I heard a shot and went back to where I had left her. As I got to the clearing I saw her arguing with another person.

"It is mine," the man said.

"No mine," she said.

"No it is mine."

She raised her rifle and cocked it, "mine."

He pointed at the dead animal," OK OK, it is YOUR deer but just let me take my saddle off."

[luckytxn 2,264]

How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?

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[one...two...tree 2,762]

How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?

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[Fandango 1,439]

Did you hear about the blonde who drove to Disney? She saw the sign that said 'Disney World, Left' so she went home....

One blonde texts her friend: 'what's IDK mean?' the friend replies 'I Don't Know'...the blonde replies 'OMG NO ONE DOES!'

Two blondes were walking down the street...one blonde says to the other 'oh look at that dog with one eye' so the other blond covers one of her eyes and says 'where???'

Edited March 18, 2010 by Happy Bunny

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Did you hear about the blonde who drove to Disney? She saw the sign that said 'Disney World, Left' so she went home....

One blonde texts her friend: 'what's IDK mean?' the friend replies 'I Don't Know'...the blonde replies 'OMG NO ONE DOES!'

Two blondes were walking down the street...one blonde says to the other 'oh look at that dog with one eye' so the other blond covers one of her eyes and says 'where???'

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and

dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called este." "Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it's gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump, the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly, and they're overpriced. So, whatcha' doing when you get there?"

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope." "That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome. "It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand, I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me." "Oh, really! What'd he say?"

He said, "Where'd you get the shitty hairdo?"

[Ban Hammer 13,352]

a blonde and brunette are walking along and the brunette sees a dead bird on the sidewalk. she says to the blonde "look, a dead bird" the blond looks up and says "where?"

[luckytxn 2,264]

What does the blonde say after a night of sex?

"Do you all play for the same team."

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

What's the blonde mating call? "I am soooooo... drunk!"

[scandal 951]

Three blonde friends died together in a car wreck. They found themselves standing in front of the pearly gates with St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter heaven, they had to tell him what Easter was about.

The first blonde said, "Easter is a big holiday where we give thanks, have a big feast and eat turkey."

"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in."

The second blonde said, "Easter is the holiday that we celebrate Jesus' being born of the virgin and give gifts to each other."

"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in, either."

The third blonde said, "Well, I know what Easter is all about. Easter is a Christian holiday which coincides with the Jewish Passover. After Jesus celebrated Passover with His disciples, He was betrayed by Judas and turned over to the Romans. They crucified Him on a cross. After He died, they buried him in a tomb and put a huge boulder in front of it."

"Very good!" said St. Peter.

The blonde continued. "Now, every year, the Jews roll the stone away and Jesus comes out. If He sees his shadow, we have 6 more weeks of basketball."

St. Peter fainted!

[ManilaIdaho 2]

That first joke Bill was horrible. Not because of the sterotype, it just wasn't funny

[_Simpson_ 250]

Irish Joke - You want to hear a Irish joke...ok well this Irish guy walks out of a bar...

Blonde Joke - What do you when a blond throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

Edited March 19, 2010 by _Simpson_