Long distance relationship...suck.

[Tuanv 2]

How do you guys find things to talk to your wives and finances? It was a lot easier in the first couple of weeks after I got back in the states. We did a lot of things together that we could talk about. Now, it has been three months, I struggle to find topic to talk about.

[nascarfan 4]

How do you guys find things to talk to your wives and finances? It was a lot easier in the first couple of weeks after I got back in the states. We did a lot of things together that we could talk about. Now, it has been three months, I struggle to find topic to talk about.

I felt like that a couple times, like I should have something more to say on Skype.

I found that if I let go of the need to say something soon I was just talking about this or that, or she was talking about this or that, and it was a natural course of conversing., about this or that, and ocassionally the other thing

It is also okay to be okay with some quiet times, and to be together without words, vene if it is 'virtually'.

Anyhow, that is what I can say for the topic., which is really just an opinion, and just sharing your own and listening to hers about this, that , and the other thing will provide lots of topics to converse about. The topic of a lack of topics can be a good topic too

Yours,

Regards,

nascar fan

[WeatherEmperor 21]

How do you guys find things to talk to your wives and finances? It was a lot easier in the first couple of weeks after I got back in the states. We did a lot of things together that we could talk about. Now, it has been three months, I struggle to find topic to talk about.

Hahaha I am having the same issue right now with Thu. When we first met, we had soooo much to talk about when we chat on our laptops. Now we find ourselves struggling to find things to chat about. If we are really bored, then we just talk about visa approvals/denials from VJ members. It kinda helps us to learn what we need to do for our visa when the time comes. Thu is really into planning our Dinh Hon and she loves to talk about what Ao Dai to wear so we talk alot about that. I dunno. Introduce her to VJ and maybe she can read some and then you guys can talk about some of the cases. Works for me so far hahaha

<CARRICK>

[SunDrop 59]

My fiance hates talking on the phone. We do and often we can talk for hours, even after 3 years together but he still doesn't like it. So we find other stuff to spend time together. We play on the xbox, or other MMORPGs like City of Heroes or WoW is popular too. We rent movies together and watch them at the same time, and chat on yahoo while we're watching. We follow shows together, like Lost and Breaking Bad. We have learnt to accept that there are days when all we do is say I love you, be safe and talk soon because one of us is going to work or has to run errands, or that we're spending time with our respective friends and families in a way that we can't do when we're apart but would otherwise do together.

[Sayha or bust. 71]

When I first met my lady, she couldn't speak a lick of English so imagine our conversations, she hired a teacher and it started to improve. Let's say since I got back from Vietnam we talk about 3,000 to 4,000 minutes a month and that doesn't include our video talks on skype. I work 70 hours a week,just to hear her voice keeps my battery's charged. Start talking about her life to be in the States, what kind of work does she want to do, does she want children, even if its the same conversation from her I don't mind. It might be different for the men that can speak your ladies language but I can only speak a little Cambodian and and maybe 4 words in Vietnamese.

Check out skype, seeing your lady helps so much. I payed 500 usd and she bought a used lab top, but she's 8 hours south of Saigon so not many choices. Good luck.

Edited March 14, 2010 by Sayha or bust.

[Blake and Jeanie 4]

How do you guys find things to talk to your wives and finances? It was a lot easier in the first couple of weeks after I got back in the states. We did a lot of things together that we could talk about. Now, it has been three months, I struggle to find topic to talk about.

Talk about everyday things. Don't wait till something 'interesting' happens to talk about it, this may ruin your relationship. This is not a debate contest or an analytical TV program. My best advice is to relax. I could suggest reading books or watching movies 'together', but I think that would make things stale, too made up.

[BinhJerome 14]

There is no need to ask what to talk about. She is your fiancée or wife; you should have things to talk about. There can and will be minutes of silence there is that when you are together. If it interests you it should be important to her and vice versa. When me and Binh talk we always ask about each other’s days, we are both work and home people so we have to find things to talk about. Recently we have been looking for a house and we found one, and about our wedding plans not to mention my move. If you love her and she loves you don’t sweat the silence, sometimes it is nice just to see her and know that you are half way around the world, maybe not talking, but still making time for one another. Think about your parents, how many times have you seen them sit in the chairs next to one another and say maybe one or two words all night long??? It happens; just don’t let the little stuff bother you so much. Jerome

[Greg_n_Lien 0]

We have that happen sometimes. and sometimes we can talk for over an hour easy. I think it is similar even if she was here, you just might not notice the quite spots. We talk about everyday things, things that she and i would probally know if we were ACTUALLY together. How's your day, where i had lunch, what co-worker was annoying. The price of gas, politics. Some night we will sit for a minutes and say, What else????? I guess we are done. and say our goodbyes. ALL of this is normal. Actually i think we TALK (i mean really talk) more than preivious relationships. All of this makes our relationship stronger. Soooooooo, do not worry about not having anything else to say, she feels the same.

[coraliesolms 47]

My hubby and I just have "quiet moments" on the phone sometimes too. Neither of us are talking, just "being". Weve managed this phone thing for 3 years while my immigration has been pending. Some days are hard, and some days are easy. However both my hubby and I keep up to date with whats going on in the world around us, so this sorta helps a bit. He will call and say "OMFG... did u see what Obama said today....". I also try and find out about things that interest him. He LOVES movies, so I will check whats coming out soon, and bug him about it.

Just relax. Somedays we dont shut up... and somedays we dont need to say anything

In fact I think we "long distancers" sometimes have it easy.. when he annoys me, I get to hang up the phone and have me time... cant do that when I finally get there!!

[OctaneGuy 0]

My wife and I have been Skyping since November 2008 and it's now March 2010. I'm in the US and she's in Taiwan. We talk from 6am to 10am and from 6pm to 1:00am every day. We would talk more but because of the 14 hour time difference we have to sleep sometimes, lol. When she has to go out, she instant messages me or texts me using Yahoo Instant Messenger and vice versa. Yahoo sends a local text if you are offline, so we can use the Yahoo service for international texting. This way we can minimize any international fees. Most importantly we use these communication methods for peace of mind to ensure that we are both safe. Worrying about a loved one 8,000 miles away can make the other feel helpless, and by doing this, we both feel a little more secure. I spent a great deal of money last year to fly to see my wife every other month for between 2 to 3 weeks at a time. Fortunately I am self employed so I can work remotely. We use the Skype video more of a window into each others lives. We will chat for a bit which helps with keeping a historical log over time, and then we will call each other for video conferencing and leave this "window" open until it's time for bed for either one of us. We use this time to talk about our day, about our status, and anything that comes to mind. She tells me about political dramas in Taiwan that she watches on TV or something funny her friend did or she shows me her dog and what she's been doing. She tells me about the current weather, and what she will be doing today or tomorrow or next week. We both have iPhones and we'll share games that we like to play, or we'll compare scores. Sometimes I'm helping her optimize her computer. The other day I found out her Mac wasn't giving her visual chat notifications when we talked to each other, so we researched the problem together and solved it. There never seems to be a shortage of things to talk about. Of course I must say that my wife is the first person I've ever felt such a strong connection with that we can talk for hours on end without feeling uncomfortable. We try to avoid discussing the unfairness of the situation, though we frequently remind each other how much we miss and love each other. Sometimes if we have an argument, I will tell her that if we were in person, I would be holding her and kissing her right now, and that helps to diffuse things because she knows that when we are together, everything is wonderful.

Maintaining a long distance relationship today is much easier than 15 years ago when we didn't have the technology that is available today. I can use Skype to call her land line for a few pennies a minute instead of dollars a minute the traditional way. I sure wish we had some way to teleport ourselves for a few minutes or hours at a time, lol. For now, yes it sucks big time, but it's the best we can do and just have to make the most of it. Our love is worth it, and I vowed to do anything and everything possible for her so that we can be together forever.

[pasaway na angel 2]

How do you guys find things to talk to your wives and finances? It was a lot easier in the first couple of weeks after I got back in the states. We did a lot of things together that we could talk about. Now, it has been three months, I struggle to find topic to talk about.

When my hubby and I were still "dating", we usually talk about normal everyday things like family, work, activities and dreams. This is how we tried to get to know each other. Knowing how your fiancee (or wife) views things and how she deals with her everyday life actually builds your relationship.

We also talked about the future, about how to handle our finances or how we would handle our future kids specially in terms of discipline and rearing them. You can also talk about household chores because we did talk about that too. We talked about what we value in life and how we view regular stuff. In this way, you get to know how each other will react in certain situations and there will be no or very little surprises when you are already living together as man and wife.

Don't try too hard to make the conversation exciting because I think just talking to a lover is excting enough. Yes, LDR sucks but you just have to take this time apart for both of you to grow more and be the right person for each other. Talk about the simplest things because it will help ease the cultural difference. When you know where the other person is coming from and you had the time to really understand it and prepare for it, the relationship will not suffer from too much shock as some here had experienced.

God Bless!

[Shahsu 1]

My Fiance and I have been chatting through Yahoo Messenger since September 2007. It is now March 2010 and less than two months we are going to have our K1 Visa Interview. Next month, I am leaving to see him and I could not be more happier. However, I must tell you. It was very hard in the beginning. We met through online and for the next two years, we have been talking non-stop. He lives in Dubai and I live in America. There r times that we just stare at each other to figure out what to do. We play games or do some doodle. We call each other constantly, but it is hard. In the beginning, we talk so much that we almost lost sleep. But we had to make timetables to when we will talk. I will wake up in the middle of the night to talk to him and he will do the same. Now, as the interview is getting closer we are just talking about the past. It is the past that made us stronger. Yes, it take a whole lot of work but we did it. I know we both love each other so much that we will practically talk about anything to keep the conversation going. I mean, thank God for technology because we can get each other instants. He texts me constantly even in the middle of the night. I know you want to go inside the compter and just be with him/her, but what to do. We have to be patient, but the reward is so much sweeter. So just hang in there, dont forget the love you have for each other. Cause when u r together, you will talk about the past and just think how we came to here. I know my love and I do. But it will get better very soon.

[SunDrop 59]

I could suggest reading books or watching movies 'together', but I think that would make things stale, too made up.

How is watching movies together online any different from deciding to rent a DVD or go to the movies on a date? We do this a lot, each of us makes popcorn, grabs a soda, we do a 3-2-1 go! countdown to hit play and the best part is we get to 'talk' throughout the movie

[Sayha or bust. 71]

My wife and I have been Skyping since November 2008 and it's now March 2010. I'm in the US and she's in Taiwan. We talk from 6am to 10am and from 6pm to 1:00am every day. We would talk more but because of the 14 hour time difference we have to sleep sometimes, lol. When she has to go out, she instant messages me or texts me using Yahoo Instant Messenger and vice versa. Yahoo sends a local text if you are offline, so we can use the Yahoo service for international texting. This way we can minimize any international fees. Most importantly we use these communication methods for peace of mind to ensure that we are both safe. Worrying about a loved one 8,000 miles away can make the other feel helpless, and by doing this, we both feel a little more secure. I spent a great deal of money last year to fly to see my wife every other month for between 2 to 3 weeks at a time. Fortunately I am self employed so I can work remotely. We use the Skype video more of a window into each others lives. We will chat for a bit which helps with keeping a historical log over time, and then we will call each other for video conferencing and leave this "window" open until it's time for bed for either one of us. We use this time to talk about our day, about our status, and anything that comes to mind. She tells me about political dramas in Taiwan that she watches on TV or something funny her friend did or she shows me her dog and what she's been doing. She tells me about the current weather, and what she will be doing today or tomorrow or next week. We both have iPhones and we'll share games that we like to play, or we'll compare scores. Sometimes I'm helping her optimize her computer. The other day I found out her Mac wasn't giving her visual chat notifications when we talked to each other, so we researched the problem together and solved it. There never seems to be a shortage of things to talk about. Of course I must say that my wife is the first person I've ever felt such a strong connection with that we can talk for hours on end without feeling uncomfortable. We try to avoid discussing the unfairness of the situation, though we frequently remind each other how much we miss and love each other. Sometimes if we have an argument, I will tell her that if we were in person, I would be holding her and kissing her right now, and that helps to diffuse things because she knows that when we are together, everything is wonderful.

Maintaining a long distance relationship today is much easier than 15 years ago when we didn't have the technology that is available today. I can use Skype to call her land line for a few pennies a minute instead of dollars a minute the traditional way. I sure wish we had some way to teleport ourselves for a few minutes or hours at a time, lol. For now, yes it sucks big time, but it's the best we can do and just have to make the most of it. Our love is worth it, and I vowed to do anything and everything possible for her so that we can be together forever.

Your story is awesome. I too talk so much and skype, she being over 8,000 plus miles away that is only way you can have a peace of mind knowing she is safe. i hate the fact that she has to drive a Moto, driving conditions not very good.

[mightymints 0]

I guess its weird that before my wife and I got married, we found it fairly easy. We spoke every single day on msn when we were both at home, and if we were not at home we both had blackberry messenger phones and always spoke on that.

We never ran out of things to talk about really.