Need a Divorce now.

[SuperDuper! 230]

First you need to terminate the visa process. that's the first step. then you can worry for your divorce.

Getting divorced before she is even in the US?

Condolences to the OP.

But case made for value of K1 vs CR1.

When things blow up, better to NOT have a legally bound relationship before it can even get off the ground.

[grinchus 11]

Here's some info for you to peruse. Nolo Press is a useful do-it-yourself legal resource.

http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/child-support/

[thongd4me 69]

Getting divorced before she is even in the US?

Condolences to the OP.

But case made for value of K1 vs CR1.

When things blow up, better to NOT have a legally bound relationship before it can even get off the ground.

Yes

Some women are psychotic to the extent that they may admit an "affair" even if none has happened.

Not saying this is the case here, but this could have been a "loyalty test" gone awry.

Best to cut your losses, whatever the circumstances.

I once had a very short "non-relationship" with a girl I dated in college who said she was dying of cancer.

I was sympathetic, I didn't try to cut her loose for that.

Then she came and told me the next day it was a joke...

That was the end of that...to this day I can't figure that out.

[Ning 619]

I found out my wife has been unfaithful to me. It happened right when I finished with the NVC. I now wish to get a divorce and I don't know where to start. Can you help me out please? Thanks.

You are lucky to have figured this out before it was too late. Its too bad but much better than what would happen down the road.

Send Email to embassy to stop interview. Contact USCIS to inform them you wont proceed with the visa process & ask them to notify the POE.

Go to court house in your area to find info on self divorce. Set in motion the divorce process. You will find at what point you need to inform her of what is going on legally. She wont like it. She will respond with threats ect. Forget that & continue until the divorce is final.

I am sorry for your situation but there are a lot of good women out there & you will be in a better position to have what you wanted in the near future.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Another thing you can do also is to try and forgive her. talk with her and see if she is genuinly repentant. Did she confess this herself? and is she sorry? if you guys are in love, I think you should forgive her and go on and have a good life. what makes u think the next person would be perfect? This woman may be the best thing that could happen to u after all. The devil u know is better than the angel u dont know. Work on ur relationship.I know a couple that had same problem(guy cheated) and there was lots of pain but for love's sake there was forgiveness and they went on to have a wonderful marriage. We all err sometimes. Good luck

I disagree with this whole-heatedly. Everyone deserves to be loved and respected. Everyone deserves to be 100% sure their partner is faithful. Cheaters are of weak moral character and not worth anyone's time. They need to fix themselves before inflicting themselves on others.

OP I'm sorry this happened but you definitely deserve better. Best of luck.

[sjr09 155]

Getting divorced before she is even in the US?

Condolences to the OP.

But case made for value of K1 vs CR1.

When things blow up, better to NOT have a legally bound relationship before it can even get off the ground.

This should not be “case made for value of K1 vs. CR1” this could have happen at any point any 'time' in the relationship i.e. way down the road. Case made why you need to let the relationship grow over time and not rush things like most do. .

[SuperDuper! 230]

This should not be "case made for value of K1 vs. CR1" this could have happen at any point any 'time' in the relationship i.e. way down the road. Case made why you need to let the relationship grow over time and not rush things like most do. .

You missed my point. K1 is just one more "checkpoint" in the relationship. Many Filipinas freak out when they get to US. They are so emotionally close to their family, food, and culture. You just never know how someone will react and respond to homesickness. Seen too many couples blow up when she gets to US. It doesnt matter if courtship is 5 months or 5 years. Life is too short. Must seek peace, love and happiness now. after 30-60 days in US, you can clearly tell if Pinay is going to be able to adapt and like US living. I will feel very confident walking down the aisle in Las Vegas now. Pinay is not going to tell me, "Just send me back to the Philippines."

[sjr09 155]

You missed my point. K1 is just one more "checkpoint" in the relationship. Many Filipinas freak out when they get to US. They are so emotionally close to their family, food, and culture. You just never know how someone will react and respond to homesickness. Seen too many couples blow up when she gets to US. It doesnt matter if courtship is 5 months or 5 years. Life is too short. Must seek peace, love and happiness now. after 30-60 days in US, you can clearly tell if Pinay is going to be able to adapt and like US living. I will feel very confident walking down the aisle in Las Vegas now. Pinay is not going to tell me, "Just send me back to the Philippines."

You missed my point! Confident or not "one more checkpoint" or not, gives no guarantee.

[pushbrk 12,994]

You missed my point! Confident or not "one more checkpoint" or not, gives no guarantee.

Nor does is usually trump other life decision issues but this is off-topic. The OP's spouse if Thai anyway, not Filipina.

Edited March 14, 2010 by pushbrk

[thongd4me 69]

You missed my point. K1 is just one more "checkpoint" in the relationship. Many Filipinas freak out when they get to US. They are so emotionally close to their family, food, and culture. You just never know how someone will react and respond to homesickness. Seen too many couples blow up when she gets to US. It doesnt matter if courtship is 5 months or 5 years. Life is too short. Must seek peace, love and happiness now. after 30-60 days in US, you can clearly tell if Pinay is going to be able to adapt and like US living. I will feel very confident walking down the aisle in Las Vegas now. Pinay is not going to tell me, "Just send me back to the Philippines."

I agree with that. Our relationship goes back to 2003 and I knew I could have pushed for her to come here earlier but

also knew that her university age son was the most important thing in her life, followed by her job which she excelled at.

With time, her son graduated (just this month) and she grew weary of the job and wanted more to be with me.

Now her son is embarking on a career with the Nestle company and she feels her role as a parent is truly over.

She is very happy to be here and has no regrets and I couldn't be happier as well.

In the middle of watching Peter O'Toole go after young poontang ("Venus") we stopped the movie and

she wanted to make shrimp & mushroom tempura; instead of Japanese sauce we used red Thai chili sauce.

Great!

You can use your imagination on what interrupted the movie last night...I love the ability to freeze a DVD when something interesting happens.

[FrancElsie 6]

Hello....and sorry for what you are going through.

I've been there, done that and got the T-shirt too!! (Colombian woman) I agree with the person who said that it is best that you found out now.

1) The first thing you need to do is STOP the petition process by notifying the NVC here and the Embassy in Thailand. This is very simple and straightforward...send an e-mail/fax notifying them that you wish to withdraw your petition.

2) Secondly, you will need to find a competent divorce attorney who is familiar with international divorces...specifically Thailand. This will probably be a difficult proposition and could be very costly. I had zero luck finding an attorney here in the states who had any knowledge of Colombia laws. So, I just did it in Colombia and it cost me about $500 plus some filing fees. (Fortunately, my wife was cooperative because she was pregnant with the other man's child.) Interestingly, NOW she is sorry and has apologized profusely for what she did...but, it is too late.

I am a proponent of the K-1 Visa route because of these types of situations...they happen with frequency. There are many insincere women and men who use USC's for their ticket to a better life. I think it is best to "check them out" for 3 months and see how they handle living with you. (And, it gives them a better opportunity to know you too.) Look at the number of VJ'ers who met online and are engaged or married shortly thereafter. This is not reality. I admit it myself...I met my wife on January 1st 2007 and was married on May 18th because I was "crazy in love!!!!!!!!" We had about 26 days together...not much time to get to know each other on more than a superficial level. Anyway...I paid the price for my "rushing into marriage."

All I can tell you is "Good Luck!"

Sincerely,

Franc

[FrancElsie 6]

I disagree with this whole-heatedly. Everyone deserves to be loved and respected. Everyone deserves to be 100% sure their partner is faithful. Cheaters are of weak moral character and not worth anyone's time. They need to fix themselves before inflicting themselves on others.

OP I'm sorry this happened but you definitely deserve better. Best of luck.

I disagree too...once a cheater, always a cheater. Cut your losses and move forward. There are lots of nice women in the world who are sincere and want to make a life with you. Best Wishes, Franc

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Post containing inappropriate comments has been removed. It is not necessary to be insulting.

[jbhypno 0]

My first wife was from Thailand and she got herself deported. I did the divorce on my own without a lawyer. Depending on what state you are filing from you might not even need her signature. Let me know if you need some help.

JBHypno

[thongd4me 69]

My first wife was from Thailand and she got herself deported. I did the divorce on my own without a lawyer. Depending on what state you are filing from you might not even need her signature. Let me know if you need some help.

JBHypno

Yes I would agree with this post. It's likely to be easier than you would suspect.

Abandonment is very easy to prove if there is no prospect of the party coming to the US.

I don't know what the rules regarding annullment are in your state, but you should check them out too.

Without a viable legal adversary the system will favor the party bringing the suit if all the formalities are complied with.