Did I lie??

[victorious 0]

Tell him to respect you. If he does not respect you, you can not continue in this relationship. You are being USED!!! If he respects you, then he should respect your feelings too. YOU ARE MORE THAN JUST SEX!! This relationship wont last just based on sex alone. If he can't provide more than that, then you both really need to reevaluate your current relationship. You don't have one now! Please seek marriage counseling!

[raymaga 25]

This is not a sexual problem, it is a control problem. Your husband is using the sex as his excuse for controlling you.

I used to work in Domestic Violence and I can assure you that this is abuse. And, unfortunately, most times the abuse will escalate.

You have to talk to your husband about this problem and if he is not willing to change and listen to your concerns, or is not willing to go to see a marriage counselor, then you have the choice of deciding whether you want to live like this for the rest of your life, or moving on and finding happiness with someone else who considers sexual matters to be a mutual thing between two people.

Good luck.

[inloveVEN 46]

Hello every one, I am sorry I have an unsual question and this may not even be the apropriate place to bring it but I am totally at a loss here.

I came to the US on a K1 visa three months ago and got married to my husband who is very loving and gentle except in matters of sex!!

I met my husband online and he visited me twice and the sex was just wonderful for both of us. At the time he visited which was for few weeks each time he would ask me to promise him I would not refuse him even sex after we got married as was so with some women(so he said) I would laughingly promise as I also enjoy sex pretty much with him.

My problem now is that we have been married now for over 3 months and my husband had constantly demanded sex almost every moment we are together!! sometimes we have sex until about 3. am and by 5:30 am he is wanting sex again!

when I say he wants sex all the time, I mean all the time!! he sulks like a child and behave worst if i succeed in refusing(only twice) I am now afraid to pick something from the floor around him because he quickly would grab my ####!he grabs me at every chance he gets if we are not at it He is now using a little force when i try to refuse him! When I can pull away from his somewhat forceful kisses to breath and tell him to be a gentleman he says he is a man and cant think or hear until he gets what he wants,then he uses force and i let him just so i can get an hour rest hopefully afterwards.. he also accuses me of not keeping my promise!! I love him very much.is now using little force which i totally resent I am now hating SEX as a whole yet I just got married!

The worst part for me is that my husband does not even pay attension to me when I try to tell him I dont wanna have sex but sleep!!! I have not had good night rest since i entered America. I wanna please my husband but this is crazy. I cant have sex 10 times a day for everyday! I now dread his return from work though I do love him.

If you BOTH are in love and want to keep your relation alive, i hardly recommend you to visit an specialist or therapist that help you to handle this situation.

It could be something dangerous if it is not treated well. Maybe at the beguininig he wouldn't go with you but you should convince him even with the help of the specialist

I really wish you luck and please act inmediatly

[sunilranjeeta 0]

Hello every one, I am sorry I have an unsual question and this may not even be the apropriate place to bring it but I am totally at a loss here.

I came to the US on a K1 visa three months ago and got married to my husband who is very loving and gentle except in matters of sex!!

I met my husband online and he visited me twice and the sex was just wonderful for both of us. At the time he visited which was for few weeks each time he would ask me to promise him I would not refuse him even sex after we got married as was so with some women(so he said) I would laughingly promise as I also enjoy sex pretty much with him.

My problem now is that we have been married now for over 3 months and my husband had constantly demanded sex almost every moment we are together!! sometimes we have sex until about 3. am and by 5:30 am he is wanting sex again!

when I say he wants sex all the time, I mean all the time!! he sulks like a child and behave worst if i succeed in refusing(only twice) I am now afraid to pick something from the floor around him because he quickly would grab my ####!he grabs me at every chance he gets if we are not at it He is now using a little force when i try to refuse him! When I can pull away from his somewhat forceful kisses to breath and tell him to be a gentleman he says he is a man and cant think or hear until he gets what he wants,then he uses force and i let him just so i can get an hour rest hopefully afterwards.. he also accuses me of not keeping my promise!! I love him very much.is now using little force which i totally resent I am now hating SEX as a whole yet I just got married!

The worst part for me is that my husband does not even pay attension to me when I try to tell him I dont wanna have sex but sleep!!! I have not had good night rest since i entered America. I wanna please my husband but this is crazy. I cant have sex 10 times a day for everyday! I now dread his return from work though I do love him.

hi give give him nyquil he will fall sleep automaticaly.nyquil has drowsinees effects

[Drue & Naddy 0]

Hello every one, I am sorry I have an unsual question and this may not even be the apropriate place to bring it but I am totally at a loss here.

I came to the US on a K1 visa three months ago and got married to my husband who is very loving and gentle except in matters of sex!!

I met my husband online and he visited me twice and the sex was just wonderful for both of us. At the time he visited which was for few weeks each time he would ask me to promise him I would not refuse him even sex after we got married as was so with some women(so he said) I would laughingly promise as I also enjoy sex pretty much with him.

My problem now is that we have been married now for over 3 months and my husband had constantly demanded sex almost every moment we are together!! sometimes we have sex until about 3. am and by 5:30 am he is wanting sex again!

when I say he wants sex all the time, I mean all the time!! he sulks like a child and behave worst if i succeed in refusing(only twice) I am now afraid to pick something from the floor around him because he quickly would grab my ####!he grabs me at every chance he gets if we are not at it He is now using a little force when i try to refuse him! When I can pull away from his somewhat forceful kisses to breath and tell him to be a gentleman he says he is a man and cant think or hear until he gets what he wants,then he uses force and i let him just so i can get an hour rest hopefully afterwards.. he also accuses me of not keeping my promise!! I love him very much.is now using little force which i totally resent I am now hating SEX as a whole yet I just got married!

The worst part for me is that my husband does not even pay attension to me when I try to tell him I dont wanna have sex but sleep!!! I have not had good night rest since i entered America. I wanna please my husband but this is crazy. I cant have sex 10 times a day for everyday! I now dread his return from work though I do love him.

1 - So, when he came to visit you, you had "normal" sex? like once or twice a day? with cuddling and everything that goes with it?

2 - and when u moved to the US and got married, he got "addicted" to it?

3 - , mmmm, hello? didn't you tried to find out why he said that? why other women before you refused to have sex with him after marriage?

4 - Maybe u should ask yourself who did lie at first place, and why he really is with you.

I'm sorry, but all what you are saying makes me think of something, but it's too meanie to say it. So I'll let you guess my thoughts ...

[TBoneTX 46,208]

hi give give him nyquil he will fall sleep automaticaly.nyquil has drowsinees effects

YyyyyyyyyyyyyESSSSSSS, si man! Why didn't anyone else think of such a perfect solution?

[DanielParul 50]

Whether he told her to never say no to sex before marriage is immaterial now. He has a wife and if he forces himself on her without her consent, it is considered Rape.

To the OP - seems like a tricky situation to convince him to seek help. Try and talk to him about it but do not get yourself in danger. The most important thing you need to figure out is if he is willing to treat you like a wife and get help or whether this is all he wants of you.

After you are able to figure that out, you need to make the decision whether you want to spend your life feeling like this or if its better to end it. All the best.

[Obama 2012 1,714]

I have a friend of mine who went through this with her ex-husband.

Her husband had 'issues' when it came to being rejected for sex and made her feel like pure ####### if she didn't have sex with him. She would be tired, she would be sick, and it didn't matter to him. It was sex all the time when he wanted it and if she rejected him, she always got told that she didn't love him or that she was going against him completely.

It's straight emotional abuse and using sex as the weapon.

The best thing you can probably do and get him a therapist or go to a therapist together if you want to save your marriage. Otherwise this is definitely going to ruin you completely. If he's willing to almost force you to have sex with him, there's not much telling what all he'd be willing to do.

Personally, I would get out now and run while you still can. I know this isn't an option for everyone and working it out might seem better because of love being involved.

Just be careful and make sure someone close to you knows the situation as well. Never keep something like this in the dark.

This will just continue to be an emotional drain on you if you don't do something soon and can seriously cause other emotional issues for you as well later in life. Being used in this manner that he's using you is awful and it needs to be put to a stop. For your sake, his sake, and if you ever want to have children, their sake as well.

Good luck and best wishes to you.

Edited March 11, 2010 by Paul and Vanessa

[thongd4me 69]

This is so funny it's not funny, especially if you're not yankin' the VJ crank.

When we were able to see each other only one month out of the year,

we had sex a few times a day and there were no complaints (seems to

mirror your situation). However, we didn't negotiate it, everything came

pretty much naturally. On few occasions we were both too tired.

Once she came to the US we continued to have an active life, but

there are times when one or the other is just tired and the one that

is not tired doesn't try to psycho-analyze the the one who is. We

just both get some needed rest. Being on vacation (when we were

in Thailand) is a lot different than having day-to-day responsibilities

and those naturally take a toll.

I think he needs to go down to the Tiger clinic and learn a little

teamwork and how to think of the other person, not just how

much of a horn-dog he is at any given moment.

Consider this: sex for an established couple is often much more

exciting and enjoyable after there has been a rest period. You

both can enjoy discovering the other person as being new to you.

You want it to be hot, you want it to be frequent, but you

don't want to let the candle burn out from over-use.

[dakay ♥ 10]

I think he is justifying his behavior because you are "his" wife, he thinks he has "right" to have sex with you even without your consent.

Seeking professional help can be one of the hardest things to do, you need it now, not take long to make a decision, because things may get worse, you are being haunted and it has a serious impact in your physical and emotional health.

I want to say, you are not guilty of anything nor you lied, he wants to give another interpretation to your promise, it is another way of manipulation

[CATHYlovesRICK 2]

Hello every one, I am sorry I have an unsual question and this may not even be the apropriate place to bring it but I am totally at a loss here.

I came to the US on a K1 visa three months ago and got married to my husband who is very loving and gentle except in matters of sex!!

I met my husband online and he visited me twice and the sex was just wonderful for both of us. At the time he visited which was for few weeks each time he would ask me to promise him I would not refuse him even sex after we got married as was so with some women(so he said) I would laughingly promise as I also enjoy sex pretty much with him.

My problem now is that we have been married now for over 3 months and my husband had constantly demanded sex almost every moment we are together!! sometimes we have sex until about 3. am and by 5:30 am he is wanting sex again!

when I say he wants sex all the time, I mean all the time!! he sulks like a child and behave worst if i succeed in refusing(only twice) I am now afraid to pick something from the floor around him because he quickly would grab my ####!he grabs me at every chance he gets if we are not at it He is now using a little force when i try to refuse him! When I can pull away from his somewhat forceful kisses to breath and tell him to be a gentleman he says he is a man and cant think or hear until he gets what he wants,then he uses force and i let him just so i can get an hour rest hopefully afterwards.. he also accuses me of not keeping my promise!! I love him very much.is now using little force which i totally resent I am now hating SEX as a whole yet I just got married!

The worst part for me is that my husband does not even pay attension to me when I try to tell him I dont wanna have sex but sleep!!! I have not had good night rest since i entered America. I wanna please my husband but this is crazy. I cant have sex 10 times a day for everyday! I now dread his return from work though I do love him.

I have read your post yesterday and seek advice with different married womens(mommies)in baby center community,its a website I am engaged also!And here are all the helpful advices from my co mommies in baby center...Hope you can decide sooner for any move you choose to do!

http://community.babycenter.com/post/a2194...44704&pd=-2

[**ash(16)jOhn** 1]

Wow, im shocked.. that is a serious matter!!!..well i will advice you both..talk..learn to understand bothsides..and work on it..!!

you stated here you love eachother much..but something goes wrong about "sex" needs of your husband..like they all said..if he loves you he should open his heart together with mind to understand your needs and role as a human too..really i agree..you are not his TOYS..to force you to do what he wants even you are not ok with it.. YOU are his wife..that he promised to make you happy and not that wrost to regret you married to him..sorry to say this..but we just alarmed..if you are not that really happy being with him..after you did all your best to make it better..then go..then its the time respect urself and your feelings gurl.,i know you love him..but need too loved back..!!

Hugz..hope soon we hear good news from you..!!

[philabride 0]

It sounds like your husband has sex addicton. It is not for fun anymore, isnt it?

Hope he will listen to your advise to get outside help. Even if you are from another country,

you have all the rights to live safely and healthy. Dont let him do whatever he wants.

seek outside help

take care

[sachinky 465]

I like the Nyquil idea.

Also, tell him you have an UTI. Or better yet, you suddenly got your period.