managing Finances

[victorious 0]

"What's yours is ours, what's mine is mine" is a common joke among women (I'm thinking this is not exclusive to Filipinas). Philippines is a TRADITIONALLY a patriachal society, but there are a lot of women who actually help in keeping the home. Nowadays it think it's downright impractical to NOT share in the expenses when both are earning. I understand the need and actually advocate having your own savings account, separate from your joint account, but at the end of the day, both husband and wife should bring something to the table.

I hate to say this, John, but your wife is just too traditional beyond words. She made you pay for the whole wedding This is a cliche, but I have to say it - - you both have to sit down and discuss how you will handle the finances. Your wife needs a reality check.

Actually in american tradition its the woman's family who pay for the wedding in terms that he will be the one supporting her in their marriage life. But still now a day's its practical who ever have the money pays and good if they both have money and contribute.

I believe he paid for the wedding coz she doesn't have the money? Which in my case I didn't spend any cents on our wedding until now even sending help to Phil since I don't have a job yet. There's no question with that but I do what I can to be the desired wife and doing all my best. But time will come that I'll be able to work and help with the financial responsibilities.

[skidivawannabe 2]

Actually in american tradition its the woman's family who pay for the wedding in terms that he will be the one supporting her in their marriage life. But still now a day's its practical who ever have the money pays and good if they both have money and contribute.

I believe he paid for the wedding coz she doesn't have the money? Which in my case I didn't spend any cents on our wedding until now even sending help to Phil since I don't have a job yet. There's no question with that but I do what I can to be the desired wife and doing all my best. But time will come that I'll be able to work and help with the financial responsibilities.

Unless you're Bill Gates or the CEO of Google, I think it's impractical too actually stick to traditions. The thread starter is your typical American with bills to pay, debts to worry about, etc...I still think his wife needs a reality check because at this day and age, common sense dictates that you help one another in situations like this.

[victorious 0]

Unless you're Bill Gates or the CEO of Google, I think it's impractical too actually stick to traditions. The thread starter is your typical American with bills to pay, debts to worry about, etc...I still think his wife needs a reality check because at this day and age, common sense dictates that you help one another in situations like this.

[/qu

I didn't say that her wife doesn't need a reality check. But what I'm saying is that ridiculous of you not to understand that she wasn't able to help pay their wedding its because she doesn't have the money. And I'm pretty sure she doesn't pay the plane ticket coming here in US. lol And of course she gotta need to start contributing to paying the bills of course.

[Jasman0717 9]

This sounds very familiar Claudeth says I am the husband and I am supposed to take care of her. Any money she earns is reserved for shopping I have even supported her family for the past 5 years from the income of the chicken farm there by Cagayan De Oro.

[DARUMA07 25]

This sounds very familiar Claudeth says I am the husband and I am supposed to take care of her. Any money she earns is reserved for shopping I have even supported her family for the past 5 years from the income of the chicken farm there by Cagayan De Oro.

I feel for you Brother Jim!

[luckymom 0]

It is not a cultural thing that the man should always be the one spending in the household. Your wife is in the US now and she should realize how big the bills/expenses are. It's common sense and should not be a huge issue between husband and wife. That is selfishness if she thinks and feels that her money should be hers alone. If that's the case then she should be the one spending for her necessities. Being husband and wife is always a partnership. You must sit down with her and have a general computation of your income and expenses, it is just simple accounting. Your expenses will get worse when kids come.

[pasaway na angel 2]

I thought this topic has already been resolved since the OP and his wife has come to an agreement about their budget. See OP's post in page 3.

[rose19 0]

All I can say is how incensitive she is living here in the US is not a joke ever everything is expensive, I'm so glad that my husband is very understanding when it comes to financies, when I was not working I really feel sorry for him paying all the bills I know how hard it is, but you don't have any choice you need to pay or else your screwed... now that I'm working he told me to build my own credit he even help me to pay for my CD and secured credit card from the bank but I'm the one whos paying for it coz I have my own money from work and we both shares for the groceries, something that we need to our place, etc. we both has an access to our joint accounts at the same time I have my own accounts, I'm not sending money to my family regularly because I tried them to understand that I have my own family now, but still I really want to help incase of emergency and some gifts for special occasions which really okey for my husband.

To the OP you better talk to your wife heart to heart, try her to understand how hard your situation paying all the bills that both of you benefited for that debt OMG, did she ever thought what if she's in your shoes what she gonna do? or what if let her rent an apartment for like 3 months by herself on that case she will pay for everything, all the bills maybe she will realize how hard if shes paying all the bills out from her pay check right? "just kidding" by the way she can still sleep doing that to you? while you carrying all the burden while she's having a good time of her money?...Good luck..

[Pinay Wife 47]

The OP has already stated that his wife already realized her mistake per post below and had, as a matter of fact, thanked everyone for their response.

All I have an update.

So after arguing about creating a budget last night I went to the Gym and then came back to the house after an hour. When I got home she started to create a budget like I asked and we finished it on an Excel Spread sheet. Basically once we really put down how much we spend a month she realized she cant keep most of her money to her self.

x x x

Thanks again everyone for you responses. I really appreciate it. x x x

Edited April 1, 2010 by Pinay Wife