Married life is great

[The_Sage1 2]

I've bee married to my beautiful Filipina wife for over a month now and I'm so happy that she got to the USA problem free. It was worth all the time, money and effort for her to get here.

But being in the midwest right now has its major downfall. I live in a town that is almost a third Hispanic/Mexican and there are no Filipinos here at all. When my wife and I are out in public we get so many rude stares that I can't believe, even from the Mexicans. My suspicion is that some people are just racist and too ignorant to realize she's not a Mexican in the first place. Anybody ever get that mix-up as well? I didn't realize the full extent of how narrow-minded dumb hicks are in rural communities in the midwest until I got married to a foreigner and started walking around with her in the grocery store.

I don't care what other people think, but after awhile it gets really discouraging and irritating. Her first impression of the USA was pretty much people acting in that way. I had to take her to a big city to show her how much nicer the people are in general. People think most small towns in the midwest are full of nice, heart-warming welcoming friendly folk and it's NOT TRUE! I've been all over the United States enough to know that. If you're an American man marrying a Filipina that's moving here...don't expect her to like small town midwest USA!

We want to not be treated like circus freaks walking around, or just a little respect. Doesn't everyone want that?

Edited March 8, 2010 by The_Sage1

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I'm not sure why they are staring? Are they not used to seeing a racially mixed couple? Many latinos will speak to my wife in Spanish, thinking that she is Mexican. She's gotten used to it though.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Another consideration . . . are the stares rude or is it that you find the staring rude? It could be people are looking at your wife because she is a beautiful young lady - and people do look at beautiful young ladies. . Perhaps not all of the stares are meant to be rude? Maybe trying to look at them that way might help you deal with them. Sometimes the best you can do is smile and walk on. That often disarms the rudeness - or at least makes it feel less rude.

[Calypso 464]

I have been to some places here in California and also in Orlando, FL. Everybody has been amiable. I don't know if that has something to do with how huge the area is or that there are various races all around the locale so seeing an alien isn't new or bizarre.

You don't have to mind those people. Just get on with your life. Looks can't kill anyway. It's worse in the Philippines. When a sexy girl walks on the street, wolf whistles from imbeciles would be heard.

Introduce the YMCA and public library to your wife.

[The_Sage1 2]

They are a lot of times flat out rude stares that show disgust. One time I saw a lady cover her mouth in disgust when she saw us together. Not that it's that bad all the time, but stuff like that has happened before. It's just not an easy thing for her to go from the open friendliness of the Philippines to the quiet, reserved and awkward indifference of the midwest.

[mshopeful 1]

I've bee married to my beautiful Filipina wife for over a month now and I'm so happy that she got to the USA problem free. It was worth all the time, money and effort for her to get here.

But being in the midwest right now has its major downfall. I live in a town that is almost a third Hispanic/Mexican and there are no Filipinos here at all. When my wife and I are out in public we get so many rude stares that I can't believe, even from the Mexicans. My suspicion is that some people are just racist and too ignorant to realize she's not a Mexican in the first place. Anybody ever get that mix-up as well? I didn't realize the full extent of how narrow-minded dumb hicks are in rural communities in the midwest until I got married to a foreigner and started walking around with her in the grocery store.

I don't care what other people think, but after awhile it gets really discouraging and irritating. Her first impression of the USA was pretty much people acting in that way. I had to take her to a big city to show her how much nicer the people are in general. People think most small towns in the midwest are full of nice, heart-warming welcoming friendly folk and it's NOT TRUE! I've been all over the United States enough to know that. If you're an American man marrying a Filipina that's moving here...don't expect her to like small town midwest USA!

We want to not be treated like circus freaks walking around, or just a little respect. Doesn't everyone want that?

this is one of the reason i appreciate living in california more, where a great percentage of it's population is from different races. three of my neighbors are filipinos, go to the mall and you bump on filipinos, filipinos everywhere church restaurants even hair salons. thinking of moving????

[The_Sage1 2]

We are planning on moving to Columbus, Ohio later this year from Nebraska. I've lived there for a year and I love it there. There's even a small Filipino population there...beats no Filipino population.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

They are a lot of times flat out rude stares that show disgust. One time I saw a lady cover her mouth in disgust when she saw us together. Not that it's that bad all the time, but stuff like that has happened before. It's just not an easy thing for her to go from the open friendliness of the Philippines to the quiet, reserved and awkward indifference of the midwest.

What specifically do you think they are reacting to? That you are white (anglo) and she isn't?

[rheanick 42]

I've bee married to my beautiful Filipina wife for over a month now and I'm so happy that she got to the USA problem free. It was worth all the time, money and effort for her to get here.

But being in the midwest right now has its major downfall. I live in a town that is almost a third Hispanic/Mexican and there are no Filipinos here at all. When my wife and I are out in public we get so many rude stares that I can't believe, even from the Mexicans. My suspicion is that some people are just racist and too ignorant to realize she's not a Mexican in the first place. Anybody ever get that mix-up as well? I didn't realize the full extent of how narrow-minded dumb hicks are in rural communities in the midwest until I got married to a foreigner and started walking around with her in the grocery store.

I don't care what other people think, but after awhile it gets really discouraging and irritating. Her first impression of the USA was pretty much people acting in that way. I had to take her to a big city to show her how much nicer the people are in general. People think most small towns in the midwest are full of nice, heart-warming welcoming friendly folk and it's NOT TRUE! I've been all over the United States enough to know that. If you're an American man marrying a Filipina that's moving here...don't expect her to like small town midwest USA!

We want to not be treated like circus freaks walking around, or just a little respect. Doesn't everyone want that?

If you are uncomfortable, just change your residence.

[Psoas10 17]

My wife has no problems here, and we never get any stares here. I guess when unofficially half the state is Filipino, then no problems. Also mixed asian people seem to be the norm here. The weather is rather similar too.

[Boiler 46,219]

Age difference?

[jwk2003 3]

I've bee married to my beautiful Filipina wife for over a month now and I'm so happy that she got to the USA problem free. It was worth all the time, money and effort for her to get here.

But being in the midwest right now has its major downfall. I live in a town that is almost a third Hispanic/Mexican and there are no Filipinos here at all. When my wife and I are out in public we get so many rude stares that I can't believe, even from the Mexicans. My suspicion is that some people are just racist and too ignorant to realize she's not a Mexican in the first place. Anybody ever get that mix-up as well? I didn't realize the full extent of how narrow-minded dumb hicks are in rural communities in the midwest until I got married to a foreigner and started walking around with her in the grocery store.

I don't care what other people think, but after awhile it gets really discouraging and irritating. Her first impression of the USA was pretty much people acting in that way. I had to take her to a big city to show her how much nicer the people are in general. People think most small towns in the midwest are full of nice, heart-warming welcoming friendly folk and it's NOT TRUE! I've been all over the United States enough to know that. If you're an American man marrying a Filipina that's moving here...don't expect her to like small town midwest USA!

We want to not be treated like circus freaks walking around, or just a little respect. Doesn't everyone want that?

I wouldn't pay any attention to it. Anyway there's nothing they can do about it and it could be anything(good or bad) since people are different. Just don't pay any attention(eventually you get to this point anyway), relax, and enjoy life.

~no stress..no worries

[charlie&pam 1]

well lets be honest here.....We all knew going into the relationships that there would be some people that dissapprove!!!!!.....My personal experience is with my own family ....with my ex wife she was 1/2 mexican and 1/2 american indian and once they found out they stopped talking to me also they have never seen there 2 grandkids....So there are people like that all over you just have to realize that the only thing that matters is what is in your own heart and how you feel....also this happened on Saturday to us ....we went over to one of my sons friends house to meet the parents to ask if it was ok if the kids went into the pool, since they were bugging us so much to do it, (they are Mexican) .......well long story short they thought Pam was mexican when they realized she wasn't they were appologizing and said that with the features she has she looks like it!!!!......Also with us being in Phoenix it seems that every other couple you see is a "mixed" couple so we really dont get the stared like other areas.

[lbounds 16]

Did you get any stares when you were in the Philippines ? When I was there people were always staring at me because I'm white.

The funniest of all was when I went to the beach on Christmas with my fiancee and her family. People stopped eating and talking and were looking at me. But the funniest of all was people wading and swimming in the ocean. They stopped swimming or whatever and just stood there staring at me when we walked down the path. I was the only white on the whole beach.

People often yelled at me "Hey Joe!" when I was going down the road in the town.

I guess people's stares in the Philippines are different ? I got used to it. I know they are just curious stares because there's very few whites where I went.

I'm sorry some people are rude where you are when they have no reason to behave that way.

Really everyone is the the USA is from another country but for the american indian..

Edited March 8, 2010 by lbounds

[charlie&pam 1]

Did you get any stares when you were in the Philippines ? When I was there people were always staring at me because I'm white.

The funniest of all was when I went to the beach on Christmas with my fiancee and her family. People stopped eating and talking and were looking at me. But the funniest of all was people wading and swimming in the ocean. They stopped swimming or whatever and just stood there staring at me when we walked down the path. I was the only white on the whole beach.

People often yelled at me "Hey Joe!" when I was going down the road in the town.

I guess people's stares in the Philippines are different ? I got used to it. I know they are just curious stares because there's very few whites where I went.

I'm sorry some people are rude where you are when they have no reason to behave that way.

Really everyone is the the USA is from another country but for the american indian..

LOL...I know what you are talking about !!!....In the province where Pam lived I was getting so many stares I told her we should charge 5 pesos for every stare and It would pay for our weekend in Baguio ....lol