I sent my K1 app the same day my divorce was finalized... now stuck!

[garnet80 1]

Okay so my ex husband moved out a couple years before I met my fiance. He refused to help fund the divorce despite making a great deal more than I do, so it took me a LONG time to have the funds. When I did, I filed immediately.

During our separation, it was agreed that we could date, that our marriage was absolutely unsalvageable, and it was just on paper at that point.

I sent my K1 application later in the day that my divorce was finalized.

We just had our NOA2 approved. I finished up writing an evolution of relationship letter, and am now trying to write a letter explaining that I wasn't "cheating" on my husband behind his back, that he had moved out, and we were not together in any way except on paper. I'm having a terrible time with this. How personal do I get? Do I mention violence? Do I mention that he lives with his girlfriend and her children? Do I say that we had separate bedrooms for years before he finally moved out (due to finances)? I know it looks bad that I sent it the same day. It's too late to change it now. So I want to explain myself. Can anyone offer some help with this letter? >.<

Thank you...

[pushbrk 12,883]

Okay so my ex husband moved out a couple years before I met my fiance. He refused to help fund the divorce despite making a great deal more than I do, so it took me a LONG time to have the funds. When I did, I filed immediately.

During our separation, it was agreed that we could date, that our marriage was absolutely unsalvageable, and it was just on paper at that point.

I sent my K1 application later in the day that my divorce was finalized.

We just had our NOA2 approved. I finished up writing an evolution of relationship letter, and am now trying to write a letter explaining that I wasn't "cheating" on my husband behind his back, that he had moved out, and we were not together in any way except on paper. I'm having a terrible time with this. How personal do I get? Do I mention violence? Do I mention that he lives with his girlfriend and her children? Do I say that we had separate bedrooms for years before he finally moved out (due to finances)? I know it looks bad that I sent it the same day. It's too late to change it now. So I want to explain myself. Can anyone offer some help with this letter? >.<

Thank you...

What makes you think such a letter is needed?

[jundp 191]

None is necessary. You were legally divorced when you sent your K1 paperwork. You are free to marry your fiance.

[garnet80 1]

Well, my fiance is 11 years younger than me (I am the female). I got engaged while I was still legally married. Sent the papers the day of the divorce. We only had two visits (5 and 4 weeks respectively). It just seems like we have a few red flags, and this couldn't hurt. I was reading other threads on the boards here that suggest you do write such a letter in this case (although it wasn't specifically aimed at USA/Canada). I figure anything I can do to help, is a good thing? Maybe I'm wrong... I just don't know.

[jundp 191]

My husband is 10 years younger than me and I was legally married when we met. We had no problems at the K1 stage or the AOS stage. I would say don't worry too much, but I know you will until he's safely here and you are married.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Canada is an easier Consulate for relationships and generally doesn't ask questions about previous relationships or age differences as long as you are legally divorced and provide the documentation. If it comes up at the interview it is an easy matter to state you were separated many years before you finalized the divorce. In countries where the cultural norms do not generally approve of such age differences, especially if it is a poorer country, you might be asked for such a document as you suggested, but in Canada an older woman/younger man relationship is culturally accepted. Canadians are also not seen as likely to seek green cards through fraudulent marriages in order to get to the US whereas such a relationship in a poorer country where it is not culturally accepted may be seen as a red flag. I doubt you will have a problem.

Edited March 8, 2010 by Kathryn41

[Otto 83]

Well, my fiance is 11 years younger than me (I am the female).

Doesn't really matter - nothing to be concerned about (not that uncommon).

I got engaged while I was still legally married

Also doesn't really matter - they're not the 'relationship police.' (Seriously)

. Sent the papers the day of the divorce.

This is important - but you were free to marry when you sent it in right?

We only had two visits (5 and 4 weeks respectively).

Within the last two years right? If so, then you should be fine.

It just seems like we have a few red flags, and this couldn't hurt.

Nothing you've said so far seems like a 'red flag' nor even all that uncommon.

I was reading other threads on the boards here that suggest you do write such a letter in this case (although it wasn't specifically aimed at USA/Canada). I figure anything I can do to help, is a good thing? Maybe I'm wrong... I just don't know.

I don't see any extraordinary reason to write a letter, nor who exactly you might send it to if you did. What you may be reading in forums is the letter of intent? (This is not necessarily intended to be an evolution of your relations ship.

I wouldn't go into any previous relationships unless for some odd reason it comes up in conversation which it has no reason to.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Well, my fiance is 11 years younger than me (I am the female). I got engaged while I was still legally married. Sent the papers the day of the divorce. We only had two visits (5 and 4 weeks respectively). It just seems like we have a few red flags, and this couldn't hurt. I was reading other threads on the boards here that suggest you do write such a letter in this case (although it wasn't specifically aimed at USA/Canada). I figure anything I can do to help, is a good thing? Maybe I'm wrong... I just don't know.

Like everyone else said, I wouldn't send it but it certainly couldn't hurt to send such a doc to your fiance so if he's asked questions at the interview (although I doubt it) he can provide that doc to the interviewer.

i wouldn't really write a story. More like:

Married to X:

separated:

he moved in with his girlfriend & her kids:

met fiance:

visited fiance in Canada:

fiance visited US:

filed for divorce:

divorce final:

sent k1:

It seriously don't seem like an issue to me it's obvious from your post that you're concerned so maybe that will help you feel a bit better.

Also, you would have had bills in just your name. A phone plan in just your name (no family plan) and other sorts of things showing you weren't living with anyone at the time... but even then it's irrelevant. As long as at the time of filing you were free to marry, no issue.

Edited March 8, 2010 by Vanessa&Tony

[Nich-Nick 3,354]

I too agree with the others. You don't need to explain anything. Even if you did cheat, he would still get a visa (assuming he passes all the checks). It's not in the criteria for being allowed a visa. You are free to marry and you've met in person at least once in the last 2 years.

[baron555 934]

Okay so my ex husband moved out a couple years before I met my fiance. He refused to help fund the divorce despite making a great deal more than I do, so it took me a LONG time to have the funds. When I did, I filed immediately.

During our separation, it was agreed that we could date, that our marriage was absolutely unsalvageable, and it was just on paper at that point.

I sent my K1 application later in the day that my divorce was finalized.

We just had our NOA2 approved. I finished up writing an evolution of relationship letter, and am now trying to write a letter explaining that I wasn't "cheating" on my husband behind his back, that he had moved out, and we were not together in any way except on paper. I'm having a terrible time with this. How personal do I get? Do I mention violence? Do I mention that he lives with his girlfriend and her children? Do I say that we had separate bedrooms for years before he finally moved out (due to finances)? I know it looks bad that I sent it the same day. It's too late to change it now. So I want to explain myself. Can anyone offer some help with this letter? >.<

Thank you...

They don't need to know all that stuff. We don't need to know either. Were you free to marry when you filed the petition? Did you include a copy of the certified divorce decree with the petition. If the answer is yes to all, then you are good to go and no need to explain yourself.

[pushbrk 12,883]

Well, my fiance is 11 years younger than me (I am the female). I got engaged while I was still legally married. Sent the papers the day of the divorce. We only had two visits (5 and 4 weeks respectively). It just seems like we have a few red flags, and this couldn't hurt. I was reading other threads on the boards here that suggest you do write such a letter in this case (although it wasn't specifically aimed at USA/Canada). I figure anything I can do to help, is a good thing? Maybe I'm wrong... I just don't know.

For Canada, these are not really red flags. If you want to provide an up to date evolution of relationship letter from the USC at the interview stage, that might be wise but have it focus on how the relationship developed, not whether you cheated on your former spouse with your current fiance.

They actually ARE the relationship police but as it relates to immigration law, not blue laws.

Edited March 8, 2010 by pushbrk

[Claire and Troy 2]

I really don't think you will have anything to worry about in Canada. I was technically married when I got engaged and I filed my K-1 paperwork the day my 30-day wait was up on my divorce decree, (required for the state I live in) so I was free to marry on that day.

The consulate in London asked my then fiancee about 5 or 6 questions regarding my last marriage and my ex-wife. Since we share everything she was well prepared for all of them and had no difficulty at all answering. The CO seemed not to have a problem with any of it. I think the CO asked if she knew I was married when I proposed, when I got divorced, how long I had been married, how long I was separated, why it didn't work out. Nothing scary. I believe the CO was simply determining that everything was above board and no sneakiness on my end. The CO even stated that it looked like I had no reason to divorce until I met my fiancee, which is the truth.

You should be fine.

[RANNK1 8]

Okay so my ex husband moved out a couple years before I met my fiance. He refused to help fund the divorce despite making a great deal more than I do, so it took me a LONG time to have the funds. When I did, I filed immediately.

During our separation, it was agreed that we could date, that our marriage was absolutely unsalvageable, and it was just on paper at that point.

I sent my K1 application later in the day that my divorce was finalized.

We just had our NOA2 approved. I finished up writing an evolution of relationship letter, and am now trying to write a letter explaining that I wasn't "cheating" on my husband behind his back, that he had moved out, and we were not together in any way except on paper. I'm having a terrible time with this. How personal do I get? Do I mention violence? Do I mention that he lives with his girlfriend and her children? Do I say that we had separate bedrooms for years before he finally moved out (due to finances)? I know it looks bad that I sent it the same day. It's too late to change it now. So I want to explain myself. Can anyone offer some help with this letter? >.<

Thank you...

Hello,

I sent my fiance's (now husband's) k1 petition three weeks after my divorce to my exhusband was finalized in california. I didn't explain anything about my former marriage. I simply stated in the answer to that one question on the 485 where you explain how you met your fiance,, that I had been seperated from my ex for three three months before I ever met my fiance online. then I filed for divorce a few months after I met my fiance,. It takes 6 months for a divorce to go through in Cali, so three weeks after my divorce finalized I sent in petition. I didn't put in any detail about why my 1st marriage failed. My fiance is my husband now and is with me and my daughter in Cali right now. His petition went through very fast- just 150 days i think. Good luck and dont' worry.

[garnet80 1]

Thanks everyone. Great advice. I think I will give my fiance a personal timeline just so he knows for certain when things went down (he knows the whole story, but I don't know if dates are in his mind). I never intended to mail anything off... I was just wondering if it was a letter that should be in the packet of papers he takes to his interview. So not going to do that now, just stick with our EoR letter (which can't hurt), and make sure he is up to speed on what happened and when. Thanks again!