Building Your Family

[TheBears 9]

How long after you or your SO's arrival to the US did you get pregnant? How did you adjust?

Husby is wanting to start as soon as we can (typical male...), but I want to give him time to adjust on his own first. Any ideas or experiences?

[Marilyn. 340]

I would wait for awhile so you two can adjust to living together..

[Kang Lang 7]

my husband and i have been married for 2.5 years and are just now talking about it. my husband says it is pretty common for thai men to want to have children right away but he gets that it didn't make sense for us right away.

it may make a difference once he gets here since he will have to adjust to a new country etc. in my husband's case he lived here before and his best friend lives 15 miles away as do a few friends he had both from back home and that he made while here before so he wasn't lonely which i have read happens to newer immigrants until they can work.

good luck!

[TheBears 9]

Thank you for your responses, ladies. I appreciate the input.

[TracyTN 237]

I found out I was pregnant in October. We'd been married 2 years and 3 months at that point (hubby is the UKC). I do think it's best to settle in a little before starting to try. The alien may think they're prepared for life in America, but it does take some adjusting - more than you can really understand before you get here.

[kaffy 2]

We have been married three years and have lived here for eighteen months. We don't have any kids yet, we're enjoying our married life together because once you have kids, there is no going back

[milimelo 4,568]

We have been married three years and have lived here for eighteen months. We don't have any kids yet, we're enjoying our married life together because once you have kids, there is no going back

We're similar - married for a bit over 3 years and lived together all this time. No kids yet, waiting for hubby to get done with school and military and enjoying just us for now. Well, we do have two demanding cats, so they're training us for kids I guess

[SuperDuper! 230]

We have been married three years and have lived here for eighteen months. We don't have any kids yet, we're enjoying our married life together because once you have kids, there is no going back

Yea, and the couples who have kids (planned or not) will drop little comments to imply you need to have kids right away.

Maybe the couple with kids yearn for the days BC (Before Children), and envy the freedom and fun of you and just want the Childless couple to be equally "miserable" with kids.

So just enjoy life, and if all your hot sex produces a kid, so be it, but just don't put it on your calendar or to do list just yet.

[TBoneTX 46,173]

we do have two demanding cats, so they're training us for kids I guess

Si, man (albeit one cat here), but the wife doesn't comprehend this, no man. In her culture, a pet is merely an animal and not a family member, no man. Heck, see this, si man: http://gosouthamerica.about.com/od/cuisine/a/cuy.htm

They eat their pets (or ours) there, ufff man!

[anya-D 8]

I didnt want to have a baby until I have a solid base for him/her. I started thinking about it at the end of my naturazation process. That also after I feel safe and secure in my income. I'm paranoid so I made sure that my income alone would be enough for me and the baby to live (in case of accident and so on) And also we've spent time living together for about 4 years before I decided to have a baby. We were still very much happy just the two of us though, it'll be alot of adjustment.

ps. I was never wanted a baby.. but when I'm about to turn 30 it just kinda hit me my husband was fine without one too.

[Arun+Catie 1]

We got pregnant the very month he arrived in the US! Unfortunately, that pregnancy ended in miscarriage. But shortly after that, we conceived again and we're having our little girl in just two months!!!

We've been married over two years now, and I know that we were both ready. I'm pushing 30, so I didn't want to wait too long to start a family!!!! (Ok, so not just pushing 30, more like sitting on it's lap...haha!)

I think it just depends on the couple and your situation. One thing we were kinda waiting for though, was his greencard. I certainly didn't want to be going through a pregnancy and the craziness of immigration at the same time!!!

[TheBears 9]

How fun to read all of your experiences! Thank you for replying. Anya and Arun and Catie, I hope your pregnancies continue along without complications.

I know Husby is just going to have to accept that this will not go the way he'd prefer. We have one son from my previous marriage. Husby would have plenty to adjust to if he were coming home to just me. Coming home to me and our son, that's going to take time for all of us to adjust to being together. I think Husby will be so wrapped up with our son that it will be easier for him to accept waiting on our second.

Kang Lang, that's what Husby and MIL say, too. Most of his married friends had children right away. But... Sweetie... They didn't have to deal with moving across an ocean, either.

Anya, will you be going for dual citizenship for your baby? I know you've naturalized, but so had my ex's (another Thai guy with 2 Thai parents) parents when they had him. He still got his dual citizenship and was even able to pass it down to his son.

Thank you all, again, for replying.

[TracyTN 237]

We've been married over two years now, and I know that we were both ready. I'm pushing 30, so I didn't want to wait too long to start a family!!!!

Thanks, that's making me feel ancient.

[Gemmie 142]

I've been in America for 8.5 months and we want to wait until we're secure... we both would love it, but realise I need to sort my own life here first. Get a job and a car, etc. Whenever I get stressed that I feel stuck, I think about how happy we'll be when we're able to hold our baby and know we were really ready.

Edited March 5, 2010 by Gemmie

[anya-D 8]

How fun to read all of your experiences! Thank you for replying. Anya and Arun and Catie, I hope your pregnancies continue along without complications.

Anya, will you be going for dual citizenship for your baby? I know you've naturalized, but so had my ex's (another Thai guy with 2 Thai parents) parents when they had him. He still got his dual citizenship and was even able to pass it down to his son.

Thank you all, again, for replying.

I'm planning on doing it. I dont know how though, will have to ask my sister who's working with the ministry of foreign affair (I told her to come post in the US but she deosnt like the US but she has friends at the Thai embassy here) how to handle the documents. As right now in Thailand I'm still single so I dont know if I need to change that first or not. I'm going to be trying very hard to install the love of Thailand to my baby so the first step is the Thai citizenship