going crazy

[moonstone 85 0]

Hey guys

So I arrived in the states Feb 5 after waiting for 9 months.

BUT everything is kinda different than I imagined.

I am not allowed to work yet so all i do is sitting at home waiting for my fiance to come home..I know he is tired after work etc but I was at home 8 hours and I wanna do something.

Its just frustrating and I'm going Nuts here.

What did you guys do..I mean did you work as a Volunteer somewhere or attend some kind of group or whatever...

I just need to do SOMETHING...

I've been just here a little over 3 week but I really can't stand being at home all the time doing nothing.

I'm in the Chicago. IL area..are there some other people around here...???

[pepperoni 0]

Hey guys

So I arrived in the states Feb 5 after waiting for 9 months.

BUT everything is kinda different than I imagined.

I am not allowed to work yet so all i do is sitting at home waiting for my fiance to come home..I know he is tired after work etc but I was at home 8 hours and I wanna do something.

Its just frustrating and I'm going Nuts here.

What did you guys do..I mean did you work as a Volunteer somewhere or attend some kind of group or whatever...

I just need to do SOMETHING...

I've been just here a little over 3 week but I really can't stand being at home all the time doing nothing.

I'm in the Chicago. IL area..are there some other people around here...???

OHH.We are in same situation.i came here in jan.26 im realyy tired of sitting at home.i wanted to work but i still dont have EAD besides my 7 years of worked experienced in a hospital as radiologic technologist are not recognized here in US. i need to take the american registry of radiologic technology board exam but before that i also need to send my credentials for evaluation(world education services)well,well im in chicago,IL too..at N.SAWYER ave...we might just neighbor..where are u here sisee?nice to meet you.

[RoyaleT 0]

I came here in november..leaving behind an awesome family, good career, luxurious lifestyle..

But still struggling to adjust here..I am living with my husband and in laws..Sadly, i don't feel as a part of family. My husband is great. But my sister in law, who recently got divorced(now living with her family) and my father in law are hard to adjust with. I. i don't like dogs and they have a one..I really don't know what to do. i feel like running away to my home..

I miss my family a lot:( i wish i was home....my home. Its getting hard to live with in laws..

i miss my parents!

[Otto 83]

If you have a car - it helps - Karin came in the Summer so she spent a lot of time going to the library or going swimming - kind of a mini-vacation. Luckily the EAD only (ONLY) took about 70 days (we filed fairly quickly after she arrived and we got married). I kind of knew how she was feeling so I tried to be supportive - we would go do things whenever possible, even if I was tired from working.

It can be a little nerve-wracking (especially if you're stuck at home). Watching TV/spending time on the internet only goes so far right?

Are you getting married soon?

[Lansbury 19]

There are usually good opportunities to do voluntary "work". I volunteer with the American Red Cross now I am retired and courier emergency blood to hospitals, I've seen more of Oregon in the past 2 years than my wife has living here 50+. In particular the Red Cross always needs people to help at blood drives and there will be other people there to get to know and it is a useful way of spending time outside of the home.

Two advantages to volunteering. It looks good on your resume and you never know who you might meet and what those contacts can lead to in the job market. In the US networking is an important part of landing the good jobs.

[Da Bears 0]

I think my fiancee may feel the same way arriving here. she will arrive just before winter we are assuming, and she does not know how to drive so she will have no wat to get around unless its walking distance or i drive. i only work 4 days a week but from the late morning till past 10pm i dont know what i can do to help her adjust once my vacation is over and she is home alone. She is thinking about volunteering at some of the local daycare centers here in our village to get some work experience while waiting for her EAD. hopefully that will help her keep busy.

[dakay ♥ 10]

voluntary work is a good option, work out , hiking, activities that involve interact with other people is good to start while you waiting your EAD

[moonstone 85 0]

Thanks for the responses..

I am currently living with my fiance in his dads house..with his dad and his brother...I really feel uncomfortable here.

We'll get married in April because we just dont have enough proof yet..our apartment lease would start in April, we dont have a joint bank account yet and our car insurence expires in april so we can get one together then.

I'll just try to find something to do..I am pre school teacher so maybe I can "work" in a child care center and I look around for art classes for me to take.

Thank god I have a car so I can at least drive around.

I'm actually living in the west suburbs of Chicago..like 40 min away from Downtown Chicago.

[littlecrazyangel 1]

My problem is that I don't have a car or driving licence. I have all the paperwork done but this. I would love to volunteer or go to work but i can't because of the transportation problem. I'm here since the end of October. I'm reading a lot.

I know how you feel.

[happyandgay 0]

Homesickness hits you like an undetected storm. I would have a perfectly happy day and all of the sudden, I am packing my clothes because I want to fly out to where I call home for 34 years before I came here. I am doing volunteer work in the church here, tutor a friend's high school son twice a week, meet folks from Netherlands sometimes, go out with my husband and see places. Three months since coming here but still I cry a river each day. It takes time to adjust. No one can say when this homesickness ends. I can not. Last night, I packed my suitcase again and cried myself to sleep. It is so painful, this homesickness that it literally drowns my breathing.

I tell my husband that this is not between him and I, my seeming unhappiness here. Time is all I need to get used to calling where I am now home. When this time would be I don't know. I can only hope it comes soon.

I relate to you very moonstone.

[TracyTN 237]

We'll get married in April because we just dont have enough proof yet..our apartment lease would start in April, we dont have a joint bank account yet and our car insurence expires in april so we can get one together then.

Proof of what?

[Y&E 12]

Homesickness hits you like an undetected storm. I would have a perfectly happy day and all of the sudden, I am packing my clothes because I want to fly out to where I call home for 34 years before I came here. I am doing volunteer work in the church here, tutor a friend's high school son twice a week, meet folks from Netherlands sometimes, go out with my husband and see places. Three months since coming here but still I cry a river each day. It takes time to adjust. No one can say when this homesickness ends. I can not. Last night, I packed my suitcase again and cried myself to sleep. It is so painful, this homesickness that it literally drowns my breathing.

I tell my husband that this is not between him and I, my seeming unhappiness here. Time is all I need to get used to calling where I am now home. When this time would be I don't know. I can only hope it comes soon.

I relate to you very moonstone.

I can relate to that, and I've not even arrived in the States! I am from NZ but live in the UK. I just spent 2 weeks with my parents and got very depressed and questioned whether i wanted to even go over to the US. Made the mistake of telling my fiance which resulted in a huge upset on his part and I felt very unsupported. He couldn't understand that it actually had absolutely nothing to do with him or how I felt about him and all about how homesick I was. I have a feeling that I may experience the very same things that you experience, Happyandgay.

What I plan to do is, providing I have a car (essential in Indianapolis), do some volunteer work, start looking around for a job for when the time comes that i can get one, do lots of reading, try and find a quiliting class because i want to learn, find some coaching, start writing the children's books that i have in my head and generally just try to find some positive things to do with my time and things at which I can meet people.

I hope that this works out for you, Moonstone, and that you are able to find some activities to fill your days until you can work or have transport and have made some friends.

I wish you luck x

[moonstone 85 0]

Proof of what?

well when we send in the AOS pack we need to send proof too..of a bondafide relationship?marriage...we dont have any proof yet so we wait and get married when we have it..

like a apartment lease, joint bank accounts, joint car insurance etc..

I'm just here 3 weeks and we have a wedding to plan etc...so we get married April 12th send in the AOS with all tha proof that our marriage is real and not fake.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

well when we send in the AOS pack we need to send proof too..of a bondafide relationship?marriage...we dont have any proof yet so we wait and get married when we have it..

like a apartment lease, joint bank accounts, joint car insurance etc..

I'm just here 3 weeks and we have a wedding to plan etc...so we get married April 12th send in the AOS with all tha proof that our marriage is real and not fake.

Ummm well I understand you have a wedding to plan, but waiting to get MARRIED to get proof of a real relationship doesn't make sense... you don't have to be married AFTER you have the proof... you just have to file AOS with the proof and you don't need to file AOS IMMEDIATELY after marriage either...

If you wait you will have nothing in your married name. If you get married now you can go on his health insurance etc in your married name, on the lease in your married name (that is if you're changing your name), bank accounts etc etc. If you wait to get married then all that stuff will be in your maiden name and you might not get the names changed to married name soon enough to include it in your package. It's easier to add your name to all the stuff all at the same time rather than adding it in maiden name and then changing it to married... of course like I said, that's if you're changing your name...

[VanessaTony 3,567]

My problem is that I don't have a car or driving licence. I have all the paperwork done but this. I would love to volunteer or go to work but i can't because of the transportation problem. I'm here since the end of October. I'm reading a lot.

I know how you feel.

Agreed. I don't have a car, or drivers licence here (and without US licence no insurance). I'm not able to work 'cause even if I HAD my EAD I don't have a car to drive and public transport in Houston is scary.

I've been here since Sept 12th 2009. So we're almost at 6 months. Luckily the first part to November was planning the wedding. The last 3 months have been the hardest but we're moving back to Tony's hometown in just under a month (FINALLY!!) which means I can use his other car, I can get a job, I can leave whenever I want.

I think the part that's made it easier is even though I struggle with boredom Tony understands and we go out at least 1 day a week. Nothing dramatic just getting outside and looking around and stuff. I am SO excited to finally start earning money as that's the part i feel most guilty about. I'm used to earning quite a decent wage.. and now I earn nothing. I'm used to buying things whenever I want so that's a big adjustment. Not that money matters but because I go from feeling self-sufficient, to feeling a little bit guilty any time I think of spending money (even though Tony is very good about it) so working is something I look forward to. I look forward to being able to pull my own weight

Edited March 2, 2010 by Vanessa&Tony