Can friends and relatives attend oath ceremonies?

[Udella&Wiz 325]

As a mother of 1 and bonus mom to 2 more......I wouldn't bring them unless they're involved in the ceremony. Yes - I remember having little ones and even though I didn't mind bringing my daughter almost everywhere...other people did mind. As parents we often can ignroe the chatter and usual noise kids make (even if it's a low rumble) we forget that if someone else isn;t accustomed to children...they just find it disruptive.

That's my 2 cents...I won't be inviting my now teenagers next year when I go for the oath ceremony...I might even leave my husband outside

[TracyTN 237]

Our baby to be will be quite small when his/her daddy takes the oath, so I will probably leave him or her with grandma. Besides, a friend of mine naturalized earlier this year and said there was very little room for friends/family in the room where it was done - so probably best not to have to tote a newborn in there as well.

[ziia 9]

.I won't be inviting my now teenagers next year when I go for the oath ceremony...I might even leave my husband outside

lol that's funny. How about we bring the kids(all 12-20 of them) and the kids friends from school, the grandparents, the mentally ill person next door and his mentally ill buddies from the hospital and i'll also bring my best friend because it would mean so much to me if it will be there to witness...he is also trained to behave and not bark at people or bite them unless i tell him to. His name is Bonnar and he's a good boy . Please don't discriminate towards my friend, alrighty? tz tz tz

Edited March 2, 2010 by ziia

[shyam1 0]

lol that's funny. How about we bring the kids(all 12-20 of them) and the kids friends from school, the grandparents, the mentally ill person next door and his mentally ill buddies from the hospital and i'll also bring my best friend because it would mean so much to me if it will be there to witness...he is also trained to behave and not bark at people or bite them unless i tell him to. His name is Bonnar and he's a good boy . Please don't discriminate towards my friend, alrighty? tz tz tz

Wow, you seem to have some issues with this children thing. Its' clear that you don't have any kids of your own. Did you have a bad experience at your oath ceremony? I agree it can be annoying to have a screaming infant in that situation, and parents should be responsible, but there is nothing wrong with parents wanting their children with them. and comparing "mentally ill buddies" and making comparisons to a mental hospital in terms of bringing your own children seems a little...over the top...

[shyam1 0]

Hi Ant.

I understand where you are coming from, still I respectfully disagree with you. First, I want to mention that the judge was not out of line. He didn't scream at anyone but gave that guy a bad look and invited that person to step out of the courtroom. The man with the kid was not the guy who was taking the Oath but a guest of someone. They decided to bring their child with them which is fine if that kid would have been quiet. That kid started talking and moaning and then crying. His voice resonated over the judge's and everybody turned their eyes from the judge to the man with the kid. The judge looked at the man a few times before telling him to step out, kind of saying to him non verbally to try to keep the kid quiet while he was speaking to us about the privilege of becoming an American citizen and serving the country. If that kid would have kept quiet or his dad would have calmed him down, no one would have had any problem with him being there.

I do realize that people with children have a different way of thinking but with all do respect I think you are making too much out of having your kid there with you. Yes, they won't remember the event if they are too young and if the parents really want their kid there with them they can have him/her wait outside with the nanny and then, at the end they can still take pictures together and have wonderful memories. The Citizenship Oath is an event for the people who are there to TAKE THAT OATH, not for their families and friends. Respect has to be shown to the judge and to those people and selfishness and self importance has to be left at the door of that courtroom. The Citizenship Ceremony in itself it is NOT for one person but for ALL the people there, for you, for me and for other 200 or so persons. This only happens ONCE in a lifetime and everyone there has the right and has to have the privilege to HEAR what the judge has to say and not a baby talking or crying.

You don't know me and you don't know the judge and plus you weren't at my Oath ceremony so you don't know what happened and what it was like. I am telling you the judge was not out of line and no one there believed so, except probably the people who brought the baby. Also, i don't believe that telling people to leave their toddlers home is out of line or disrespectful or makes me or anyone else a baby hater. Not at all. It is a matter of respect for the event in itself, for the US courtroom, for the judge and for the rest of the people there.

You are entitled to your opinion and I respect that. Still encouraging people to bring their kids is NOT an advice you should give the people here. Thx for understanding...maybe:)

Your are almost 100% correct in your replies--however, you might want to consider not having children of your own---and then you will never have to worry about it...

[ziia 9]

Your are almost 100% correct in your replies--however, you might want to consider not having children of your own---and then you will never have to worry about it...

I didn't know God died and pointed you out as his suitor. Do you usually judge people out of a few lines online or do you by any chance know me personally?

Just so you know my parents raised me differently than yours raised you here in US. There is always a time and a place for kids to be at and I have been educated in that respect by some parents who according to your line of thinking should have never had children. Please do me a favor and stop "watching" my profile every 2 days from about a year ago because you frankly freak me out and you seem like a stalker. You never wrote anything yet you made a profile here just to "keep an eye on me" or read what I write. It is creepy so please stop doing it. I am glad you actually decided to write something, even if it is to insult me as a woman and future mother because I was so close to deleting my profile and never show up here again because of you "watching" me.

I assume you have kids of your own. You make sure you focus on raising them how you think its best and you won't see me starring in your backyard and pointing the finger, giving you lessons on how to educate them; I suggest you let me raise mine according to my values and best judgment, as I see fit.

For a man-yes I assume you are one because of your behavior in the past(watching me), you are very sensitive and obviously lack a sense of humor. If you can't read the irony in my previous comment and if you've never seen a stand up comedy show ever in your life to realize I simplified things just to make people smile and also prove a point, and you took offense in that, then buddy, do me a favor and crawl back into your hole and live your life with anguish because I am going through mine with smiles and i'm not gonna apologize to you or anyone else for it. It is very hard to see the forest because of the trees for some people. I didn't mean to offend or disrespect anybody in my post and an intelligent person with a sense of humor knows and sees that. If you are too caught up in your kids and political correctness and can't see past the fence of your backyard it is your problem-don't make it mine. Say what you wanna say just stop stalking me on VJ.

Cheers!

Edited March 3, 2010 by ziia

[*julez* 124]

I have 3 kids, so I guess that makes me qualified to join this discussion. I really don't believe that young children belong at the oath ceremony. Young children are too unpredictable for such a solemn occasion. So although one may believe that having one's child there will be meaningful for him/herself, one needs to consider other participants to truly determine what is best for ALL who will be in attendance. Its pretty selfish to bring young children into a crowded room and expect that they will be well-behaved, especially since others there wouldn't reasonably expect the disruption of young children. If the child isn't the one being granted citizenship, there is no reason for young children to be in attendance. I'm sorry if that hurts anyone's tender, baby-loving feelings, but if you are truly honest with yourself you will realize what ziia has been saying throughout this thread is true.

And taking potshots at ziia for her belief that children don't belong at solemn occasions, and saying you hope she never has kids is pretty unfair. As noted above, I have 3 children, whom I love dearly, but am clear headed enough to realize that when they were younger that I shouldn't take them to wedding ceremonies, R-rated movies showing at 9PM or posh restaurants or such places that other adults wouldn't reasonably expect the noise and disruption of young children. If I couldn't get a babysitter, I didn't go because I didn't want to ruin occasions for other adults by having my kids present. It is the considerate thing to do. Barring children from adult events is NOT discriminatory, is is common sense and common courtesy. Children are simply not entitled to attend all events on the basis that the parents are invited. Use your heads, people!

It is possible to have kids, love them but not include them in everything you do as a person. Sometimes children just don't belong, particularly if it means they will possibly ruin a special occasion for others.

[TracyTN 237]

Agreed, sheesh! If we're making such quantum leaps, then I guess I'm a bad person because we won't be bringing our child to hubby's oath ceremony. How will I live with the shame?

[ziia 9]

I have 3 kids, so I guess that makes me qualified to join this discussion. I really don't believe that young children belong at the oath ceremony. Young children are too unpredictable for such a solemn occasion. So although one may believe that having one's child there will be meaningful for him/herself, one needs to consider other participants to truly determine what is best for ALL who will be in attendance. Its pretty selfish to bring young children into a crowded room and expect that they will be well-behaved, especially since others there wouldn't reasonably expect the disruption of young children. If the child isn't the one being granted citizenship, there is no reason for young children to be in attendance. I'm sorry if that hurts anyone's tender, baby-loving feelings, but if you are truly honest with yourself you will realize what ziia has been saying throughout this thread is true.

And taking potshots at ziia for her belief that children don't belong at solemn occasions, and saying you hope she never has kids is pretty unfair. As noted above, I have 3 children, whom I love dearly, but am clear headed enough to realize that when they were younger that I shouldn't take them to wedding ceremonies, R-rated movies showing at 9PM or posh restaurants or such places that other adults wouldn't reasonably expect the noise and disruption of young children. If I couldn't get a babysitter, I didn't go because I didn't want to ruin occasions for other adults by having my kids present. It is the considerate thing to do. Barring children from adult events is NOT discriminatory, is is common sense and common courtesy. Children are simply not entitled to attend all events on the basis that the parents are invited. Use your heads, people!

It is possible to have kids, love them but not include them in everything you do as a person. Sometimes children just don't belong, particularly if it means they will possibly ruin a special occasion for others.

Thank you julez. Anyone that knows me personally knows that I love children very much and hope one day I will have my own. I also think some posters here took my comments the wrong way because not all of us have been raised the same way. I was raised by my Romanian parents and grandparents who did their best to educate me well but not spoil me. They have always been parents first and friends LATER on in life when I grew up and needed guidance. They have always crossed a line between grownups and children and I believe for that reason they have married to this day and ongoing(almost 30 years now) and had a "healthy" union. Anyway, there's no point for me dragging this any further, I just wanted to thank you for seeing me and my comments for what they are and also to raise attention that in order to be a good parent, not everyone has to "fit" a certain profile. Some people consider that if your line of thinking is not like theirs then you must be "an awful" person. I beg to differ...But at the end of the day, I guess it doesn't matter. You can't stop the press and any any publicity is good publicity. If people judge me then they paint their own profile, not mine. Bye.

Edited March 3, 2010 by ziia

[Kanyiri 0]

I just attended my husband's oath ceremony. The guests that were present were made up of about 50% children and 50% adults. The children ranged in age from 2 weeks to 7 years. All were very well behaved and the ceremony ran smoothly. The man and woman running the ceremony seemed to welcome the children.

The reaction to children at the ceremony seems to vary widely from one location to the next.

[Canadian/American 3]

There may be children at the ceremony anyway if they are being naturalized. Having said that, if you can't keep your children under control then don't take them to possibly ruin someone's ceremony, wedding or otherwise. I had 3 boys and they knew how to behave. My 3 year old was my ring bearer at my wedding and behaved awesome. My cousin brought her 3 year old who screamed through my wedding vows. Not nice. The polite thing would have been to go outside. If one of my children starts to act up (they are children after all and not perfect) as the responsible person I removed them from the room. (They also learn if thy want to be included, behave!) Yes families should share in these things but when adults don't manage the situation or don't know how or have uncontrollable children then they shouldn't bring them. Often at a wedding the kids don't come for the ceremony, just the party where they can play and relax. It's stressful for an exuberant child to have to stay under control and stressful for adults to manage and people without children or who want to hear a ceremony should be allowed peace. Parents, be considerate. No one want to listen to your child scream, or watch them run around. Use your judgement. Be considerate!