25 year age difference....Older women marrying younger men

[marjus's girl 6]

you must be kidding right? how did that young guy marry a woman 25 years older than him? really? it is simply unbelievable from any angle for me, if the immigration officer believe your story then you are truly lucky.

and you are saying some lawyer is saying you have to be at the interview because you got married after knowing each other for 3 month? really? is this rule written somewhere? then everyone will follow it right? isn't it that simple?

isn't it nice if a "mere presence at the interview would solidify your case" and "a no presence would weaken your case"? i wish it was that simple but it isn't.

i know couples where the guy is younger and they have good SOLID RELATIONSHIPS..its no different then the guy being 25yrs older than the woman he is with..i'm all for anyone that is truly in love..and since you don't know this person's relationship you shouldn't judge it..oh by the way anybody's relationship could be for a gc maybe ppl should just worry about their own relationship and not worry about others..

Edited March 5, 2011 by marjus's girl

[graceroxas 17]

My wife is not as much younger as your husband (15 year difference), and we do *just barely* fall under the traditional formula for acceptable age differences (which I discovered somewhere is (your age / 2) + 7). But in any event, I haven't had any negative remarks (actually lots of positive ones) and my wife had one of the easiest times in the embassy that I've ever heard about. No issues from either family either.

Toma1 --- This diverges a bit from the thread but I'm just curious about that formula you quoted. First time I've heard of one. Care to elaborate?

[And_Sam 44]

you must be kidding right? how did that young guy marry a woman 25 years older than him? really? it is simply unbelievable from any angle for me, if the immigration officer believe your story then you are truly lucky.

and you are saying some lawyer is saying you have to be at the interview because you got married after knowing each other for 3 month? really? is this rule written somewhere? then everyone will follow it right? isn't it that simple?

isn't it nice if a "mere presence at the interview would solidify your case" and "a no presence would weaken your case"? i wish it was that simple but it isn't.

It's not that unusual the women being older in the relationship with MENA men. I am sure the USCIS CO are used to those situations. So I guess the angle depends on the region.

As far as attending the interview, it can mean a whole lot for the beneficiary. Again it is probably a regional thing. I know I attended my husband's interview in Cairo and I am sure it made a big impact on him receiving his visa as quickly as he did. I believe your actions are way stronger than what is written or shown in any pictures that can be presented to support your relationship. I know the CO was watching our every move with each other.

[toma1 10]

Toma1 --- This diverges a bit from the thread but I'm just curious about that formula you quoted. First time I've heard of one. Care to elaborate?

Google: http://www.google.com/search?q=half-age-plus-seven-relationship-rule

Example: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Half-age-plus-seven-relationship-rule.svg

[carolynhotstuff 252]

My husband had his interview but I was unable to attend. The CO was very kind to my husband and only asked him 3 questions. One of the questions was what did we have in common? He answered that to her satisfaction. She looked at our wedding pictures and told him I look much younger than my age. He said the CO did mention the fact that we got married after only knowing each other a few months. Then she said we were missing some documents and to send those in with his passport.

The bottom line is he passed the interview even with our huge age difference and like 99% of Pakistani males he is now in AP.

We have been married for a long time. We will have our 2 year wedding anniversary in August. Our marriage is strong and it doesn't matter if other people can't believe he would marry a woman so much older than him. All that matters is that he treats me with love and respect.

I am happy. People are jealous of that happiness and try to say things to bring me down but I've learned how to shut out the negative comments and concentrate on being the best wife I can under the circumstances of him being so far away.

[toma1 10]

It's not that unusual the women being older in the relationship with MENA men. I am sure the USCIS CO are used to those situations. So I guess the angle depends on the region.

New survey released only 3 days ago: http://us.singlemuslim.com/news_artical.php?aID=6009

NEWS RELEASE

For Immediate Release (3rd February 2011)

Single Muslim Ltd - Wakefield, United Kingdom.

Surveys reveal Muslim men seek younger wives...

...and Muslim women seek older husbands

The latest surveys carried out by SingleMuslim.com, the world's leading internet-based matrimonial service for the Muslim community, show that the majority of Muslim men would prefer to marry someone younger.

The first of the polls asked SingleMuslim.com members whether their ideal marriage partner would be the same age, younger or older than themselves.

The results released today (3 February 2011) show that just over a quarter of all respondents, male and female, stated they were looking for a younger spouse - an unexpected 96 percent of men choose this option, and indicated that they were looking for a younger wife.

Conversely, of the one-third of all respondents who claimed to be looking for an older spouse, 96 percent of women choose this option, and indicated that they were looking for an older husband.

Commenting on the results, SingleMuslim.com's Managing Director, Adeem Younis says: "I imagine many people would assume that men would prefer to marry younger women, whilst women would look to marry older men - it is a bit of a cliché. However, the 96% / 4% gender split surprised even us!"

[raj1975 10]

New survey released only 3 days ago: http://us.singlemuslim.com/news_artical.php?aID=6009

NEWS RELEASE

For Immediate Release (3rd February 2011)

Single Muslim Ltd - Wakefield, United Kingdom.

Surveys reveal Muslim men seek younger wives...

...and Muslim women seek older husbands

The latest surveys carried out by SingleMuslim.com, the world's leading internet-based matrimonial service for the Muslim community, show that the majority of Muslim men would prefer to marry someone younger.

The first of the polls asked SingleMuslim.com members whether their ideal marriage partner would be the same age, younger or older than themselves.

The results released today (3 February 2011) show that just over a quarter of all respondents, male and female, stated they were looking for a younger spouse - an unexpected 96 percent of men choose this option, and indicated that they were looking for a younger wife.

Conversely, of the one-third of all respondents who claimed to be looking for an older spouse, 96 percent of women choose this option, and indicated that they were looking for an older husband.

Commenting on the results, SingleMuslim.com's Managing Director, Adeem Younis says: "I imagine many people would assume that men would prefer to marry younger women, whilst women would look to marry older men - it is a bit of a cliché. However, the 96% / 4% gender split surprised even us!"

of-course 10 to 15 years age difference between couples getting married are becoming common nowadays in most nations but 25 years difference appears a little stretched when you hear it first but you know love is blind.

Edited March 6, 2011 by raj1975

[carolynhotstuff 252]

My husband's love is not blind. He knew exactly what he was doing when he asked me to marry him. This thread was started so women married to younger men and waiting on their visa's could support each other. It wasn't started so we could be insulted.

My husband is smart and has a lot on the ball. He is neither blind, stupid or ugly. He could have married a much younger woman but he fell in love with me. I am very proud of my husband and he is proud of me. Really the only opinion of our marriage that mattered was the CO at his interview and she didn't have a problem with our age difference.

Men marry younger women all the time and it's considered normal. When a woman marries a younger man she's the subject of cruel remarks and gossip. It's women like me that will change all that someday. We are opening peoples minds and their hearts. My friends have started considering dating younger men because they see how good my husband treats me and how happy I am. They are starting to realize that good men come in all ages, shapes, sizes and colors.

It wasn't that long ago that interracial couples made people upset and uncomfortable. I guess that's what women married to younger men do is make people upset and uncomfortable. I was not going to give up the love of my life because I wanted to fit into what society thinks is the norm.

[toma1 10]

My husband is smart and has a lot on the ball. He is neither blind, stupid or ugly.

Of the few pictures of MENA guys I've seen posted here, I don't think I've EVER seen a single case in which one was even remotely close to "ugly" and no one called anyone "stupid" as far as I can tell.

Frankly, I'm not convinced the Shakespearian phrase "Love is blind" was meant as an insult either.

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

My husband's love is not blind. He knew exactly what he was doing when he asked me to marry him. This thread was started so women married to younger men and waiting on their visa's could support each other. It wasn't started so we could be insulted.

My husband is smart and has a lot on the ball. He is neither blind, stupid or ugly. He could have married a much younger woman but he fell in love with me. I am very proud of my husband and he is proud of me. Really the only opinion of our marriage that mattered was the CO at his interview and she didn't have a problem with our age difference.

Men marry younger women all the time and it's considered normal. When a woman marries a younger man she's the subject of cruel remarks and gossip. It's women like me that will change all that someday. We are opening peoples minds and their hearts. My friends have started considering dating younger men because they see how good my husband treats me and how happy I am. They are starting to realize that good men come in all ages, shapes, sizes and colors.

It wasn't that long ago that interracial couples made people upset and uncomfortable. I guess that's what women married to younger men do is make people upset and uncomfortable. I was not going to give up the love of my life because I wanted to fit into what society thinks is the norm.

Hi there.. Nobody knows the particulars of your relationship but you and your husband.. so the statistics are just that, statistics. I think the response that was given (the article that was posted) was because of a comment that MENA men prefer older women. The article does not support that statement. Even if the article is accurate that 4% represents millions of people...

This does relate to how the couple will be treated when filing for K-1/CR-1.. If the perception is that younger men / older women from these countries have a higher rate of fraud then that will raise flags. If a 50 year old guy is marring a 20 year woman from a high fraud rate country I am sure they also receive higher scrutiny.

I don't think anybody here has any issue with anyone you choose to be with.. I have not seen anything beyond the cougar jokes out here "in society" but I am not looking for it or subjected to it... I do remember one comment/joke recently: "What do you call an older woman with a younger man? A Cougar! What do you call an older man with a younger woman? A Creep!".

[And_Sam 44]

New survey released only 3 days ago: http://us.singlemusl...al.php?aID=6009

NEWS RELEASE

For Immediate Release (3rd February 2011)

Single Muslim Ltd - Wakefield, United Kingdom.

Surveys reveal Muslim men seek younger wives...

...and Muslim women seek older husbands

The latest surveys carried out by SingleMuslim.com, the world's leading internet-based matrimonial service for the Muslim community, show that the majority of Muslim men would prefer to marry someone younger.

The first of the polls asked SingleMuslim.com members whether their ideal marriage partner would be the same age, younger or older than themselves.

The results released today (3 February 2011) show that just over a quarter of all respondents, male and female, stated they were looking for a younger spouse - an unexpected 96 percent of men choose this option, and indicated that they were looking for a younger wife.

Conversely, of the one-third of all respondents who claimed to be looking for an older spouse, 96 percent of women choose this option, and indicated that they were looking for an older husband.

Commenting on the results, SingleMuslim.com's Managing Director, Adeem Younis says: "I imagine many people would assume that men would prefer to marry younger women, whilst women would look to marry older men - it is a bit of a cliché. However, the 96% / 4% gender split surprised even us!"

Not all MENA men are muslim and also noticed this is a UK survey?

I don't think anybody here has any issue with anyone you choose to be with.. I have not seen anything beyond the cougar jokes out here "in society" but I am not looking for it or subjected to it... I do remember one comment/joke recently: "What do you call an older woman with a younger man? A Cougar! What do you call an older man with a younger woman? A Creep!".

[toma1 10]

Not all MENA men are muslim.

Correct... though that is the vast majority.

also noticed this is a UK survey?

The company that did the survey is UK based, but a quick look at http://www.singlemuslim.com/ shows a worldwide membership.

[omo 5]

please give some update in 2013 after the citizenship that will be very helpfull to alot of people.

When I first met my husband, I thought the same thing. Just some young dude who wants to see what the "older" woman was like. I was very skeptical. Then I really started to get to know him and realized that he was way more mature and stable than most of the "older" men I had known.

After a good year of being together and really seeing if this was real or not, we decided to get married.

I had always dated older men and my ex-husband was 5 years older than me. Somehow it seemed that they had "aged" well more than I did, meaning physically NOT mentally.

Now people see me and my husband together and they cannot tell that I am wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy older than he is. In fact, due to his hardened life, I look younger than he does.

Oh and by the way, my husband received his Visa exactly 7 days after his interview. That is something that's rarely heard of in a MENA country. It was dated 2 days after his interview. We do believe that it was because of me being at the interview with him and the CO was able to see how we actually interact with each other.

I think marriages that fall apart isn't necessarily because of age differences, but perhaps culturally difference or even personality differences. Something that doesn't have anything to do with age.

I hope more men who are married to "older" women step up and give us there opinion or even tell us their story so we can get all sides here.

Is it really any different than a man going to another country to find a woman who is younger to bare their children and then getting divorced because they are now in the usa AND will get child support?

[santa cruz 0]

I was in the same position as you. I am 25 yrs older than my husband and don't look my age. We have been married for 4 yrs with him finally arriving in the U.S. a jear ago. His first interview did not go well at all so I took a year off from work and went to Syria to be with him to prove it was ligit. His second interview I was there for and he recieved his visa to the states. When we arrived home I immediatly went back to work and we set out to get his 10 yr. green card. He got his green card 2 months ago. All this time he was saying how happy he was and how much he loved me and when he went to work he would help take care of us. Then boom 2 weeks ago he came to me and told me he didn't love me and he never did. All this was just for one thing and that was a gc.

I am not saying your husband is like that. I never would have thought mine was either. (I met his family and he was not raised that way. They are some of the finest people I have met.)

I am saying however to protect your self. I still love this man with all my heart even after all the ugly things he has said and done to me. I don't want to see anyone go thru the hurt and pain I am going thru now. And once a green card is given it will be too late.

Good luck to you! My prayers are with you.

[And_Sam 44]

I was in the same position as you. I am 25 yrs older than my husband and don't look my age. We have been married for 4 yrs with him finally arriving in the U.S. a jear ago. His first interview did not go well at all so I took a year off from work and went to Syria to be with him to prove it was ligit. His second interview I was there for and he recieved his visa to the states. When we arrived home I immediatly went back to work and we set out to get his 10 yr. green card. He got his green card 2 months ago. All this time he was saying how happy he was and how much he loved me and when he went to work he would help take care of us. Then boom 2 weeks ago he came to me and told me he didn't love me and he never did. All this was just for one thing and that was a gc.

I am not saying your husband is like that. I never would have thought mine was either. (I met his family and he was not raised that way. They are some of the finest people I have met.)

I am saying however to protect your self. I still love this man with all my heart even after all the ugly things he has said and done to me. I don't want to see anyone go thru the hurt and pain I am going thru now. And once a green card is given it will be too late.

Good luck to you! My prayers are with you.

Oh Dorothy I am so sorry to hear about your situation. We all fall in love for the main thing. Love. I went into my relationship with my husband knowing that the chance of being hurt is there, but regardless, as in any relationship between two people, we "fall" don't we?

If you don't mind me asking, when you said he was happy and saying how much he loved you and when he went to work he would help take care of you. Did your husband not work for the first year he was here?

That just stuck out to me and I was wondering.

My husband has been a little over a year now. Yes it has been a real roller coaster ride but hey, what relationship isn't? But at the end of the day we are still together and still love each other!

I wish each and everyone happiness, peace and love in their relationship regardless of age, shape or origin.