25 year age difference....Older women marrying younger men

[BellaChele68 4]

I read a sad post earlier from a couple petitioning out of Cairo and have read many stories of women married to younger men on VJ. I thought it would be a interesting to start a thread with our experiences.

Because I'm an "equal opportunity" poster, men who are older than their wives are more than welcome to post their experiences as well.

Has anyone had difficulty in their interviews because of age differences? Have you had unpleasant remarks directed to you by family and friends for falling in love with someone younger than you?

I am 19 years older than my husband, and we don't see the difference. We are on the same emotional, intellectual and spiritual level and absolutely adore each other. We're married for love, not a GC....but I've had several interesting comments directed my way since our marriage about our age difference and they came across as pretty judgmental. Do men married to younger women get the same snide remarks and judgment?

Looking forward to everyone's posts!

[edward toro 3]

I read a sad post earlier from a couple petitioning out of Cairo and have read many stories of women married to younger men on VJ. I thought it would be a interesting to start a thread with our experiences.

Because I'm an "equal opportunity" poster, men who are older than their wives are more than welcome to post their experiences as well.

Has anyone had difficulty in their interviews because of age differences? Have you had unpleasant remarks directed to you by family and friends for falling in love with someone younger than you?

I am 19 years older than my husband, and we don't see the difference. We are on the same emotional, intellectual and spiritual level and absolutely adore each other. We're married for love, not a GC....but I've had several interesting comments directed my way since our marriage about our age difference and they came across as pretty judgmental. Do men married to younger women get the same snide remarks and judgment?

Looking forward to everyone's posts!

Wait!

You are 25 years older than your husband, and on top of that, your husband is from Pakistan, and you didn't have any RFE, AP, AR, or any other delay regarding your process???????

WOW. your case is really one of a kind.

have you play the lotto lately???? 'cause you should.

Edited February 26, 2010 by edward toro

[dakay ♥ 10]

Do men married to younger women get the same snide remarks and judgment?

Looking forward to everyone's posts!

Of course not! In many ways women are judged more harshly than men, cultural issues

[John and Camie 39]

Wait!

You are 25 years older than your husband, and on top of that, your husband is from Pakistan, and you didn't have any RFE, AP, AR, or any other delay regarding your process???????

WOW. your case is really one of a kind.

have you play the lotto lately???? 'cause you should.

Damn, that's mean.

She has RFEs listed. But, you didn't care enough about her feelings, why should I even expect you to care enough to look at her signature.

[carolynhotstuff 252]

I am over 20 years older than my husband. At first family and friends were very upset. They said he was just a kid at 21 years old. They said it wouldn't last. They said a lot of negative things. At first I was shocked that such a young man could be in love with me but I gave myself a chance to get to know him. I found he was mature, sweet, funny and all the other things I value in a man.

He introduced me to his family on the cam and that is when I finally felt free to love him in return. His mother and father agreed to our marriage. Now that we have been married 6 months everyone that matters is used to it and supports us. My husband doesn't miss a day ether talking to me on the phone or over the computer.

My Lawyer says I need to be at his interview not because of the age difference but because we got married after knowing each other for only 3 months.

[edward toro 3]

Damn, that's mean.

She has RFEs listed. But, you didn't care enough about her feelings, why should I even expect you to care enough to look at her signature.

Wrong. The RFE she listed are not related to the age difference. Second IN NO WAY! I wanted to hurt her feelings. I wanted to congratulate her, letting her known that she was one lucky person and that her case is very rare.

I'm sure that every member with experience in high-fraud countries will agree with me.

As an example, I don't have any age difference with my wife and we even have a baby together with almost 4 year of marriage and USCIS even request an interview with me before approving my I-130.

So Her case is one that will be expose as an example to other members in the future to this website.

Please excuse me if I was rude in my previous post I didn't mean it.

[John and Camie 39]

You are 25 years older than your husband, and on top of that, your husband is from Pakistan, and you didn't have any RFE, AP, AR, or any other delay regarding your process???????

Sorry, just going by what I read.

[BellaChele68 4]

Wow I break for lunch and I miss all the fun stuff! LOL

Edward, no insult taken.....and I'm only 19 years older than my husband. There is another women on VJ who is 25 years older than her husband and being in marketing I had to go for the shock factor to make sure the thread was read. And man, I ALWAYS lose at the lottery, so no thanks, not taking any chances there. LOL

No, no RFE's only a silly I-864 blip on our radar.

My husband and I are very lucky to have proceeded as we have so far...but it's still hard. One day is hard without someone you love, let alone six month....or 3 years like some of the couples on here.

Carolyn, we have SO much in common it's unreal! Thank you for validating that I'm not the only one going through some wonkiness on the US side of life. My husband and I didn't know each other for years either before we got married and some would consider it a short courtship.

John & Camie....you're too sweet to come to my rescue like that! Thx.

Keep the stories coming about the age differences....all countries....I think the "mature" wives club has begun.

[BellaChele68 4]

Wow I break for lunch and I miss all the fun stuff! LOL

Edward, no insult taken.....and I'm only 19 years older than my husband. There is another women on VJ who is 25 years older than her husband and being in marketing I had to go for the shock factor to make sure the thread was read. And man, I ALWAYS lose at the lottery, so no thanks, not taking any chances there. LOL

No, no RFE's only a silly I-864 blip on our radar.

My husband and I are very lucky to have proceeded as we have so far...but it's still hard. One day is hard without someone you love, let alone six month....or 3 years like some of the couples on here.

Carolyn, we have SO much in common it's unreal! Thank you for validating that I'm not the only one going through some wonkiness on the US side of life. My husband and I didn't know each other for years either before we got married and some would consider it a short courtship.

John & Camie....you're too sweet to come to my rescue like that! Thx.

Keep the stories coming about the age differences....all countries....I think the "mature" wives club has begun.

oooh, Carlyn...one more thing...

I got the "he's only a young man why would he fall in love with you" comment also. I found that really insulting because I think I'm a wonderful person, not hard on the eyes and very lovable....so why wouldn't he fall in love with me? I'm certainly not perfect, but I'm not the Countess of Bathory either LOL

[pushbrk 13,000]

Do men married to younger women get the same snide remarks and judgment?

No, they get different ones. It's important to realize that Consular officers are doing their job correctly and responsibly when they consider the local culture in their evaluation of whether a relationship is bona fide. It's an entirely different matter from the personal opinions of friends family and the public.

[MPQ-Kimo 0]

Carolyn, we have SO much in common it's unreal! Thank you for validating that I'm not the only one going through some wonkiness on the US side of life. My husband and I didn't know each other for years either before we got married and some would consider it a short courtship.

John & Camie....you're too sweet to come to my rescue like that! Thx.

Keep the stories coming about the age differences....all countries....I think the "mature" wives club has begun.

Count me in, then, as a member of the "mature" wives club I am 40, getting married to my 24-year-old man in India. We also have not known each other long and plan to marry before the year is over. I will go to India for our marriage and go about things that way. Culturally, Guru is worried about what his Mom and family will have to say about our age difference but between he and I, there is no age difference at all. We are just in love and that's all that matters.

[RyannTanya 2]

I was just wondering what is socially and/or embassy acceptable age gap?

[HeatDeath 430]

Of course not! In many ways women are judged more harshly than men, cultural issues

It's not that you're being judged harshly by the consulate. It's your young husband who is being judged harshly. The reality is that the consulate believes (rightly or wrongly) that young men from that part of the world marrying older American women for a visa is a very common pattern of visa fraud. At heart, they are trying to protect you. (The lack of respect for you implied in their assumption that you are being conned, and are incapable of choosing your own best interests, is incidental.)

Edited February 26, 2010 by HeatDeath

[BellaChele68 4]

No, they get different ones. It's important to realize that Consular officers are doing their job correctly and responsibly when they consider the local culture in their evaluation of whether a relationship is bona fide. It's an entirely different matter from the personal opinions of friends family and the public.

Thanks Pushbrk

We had absolutely no issues at all with the embassy...I was more curious about the personal experiences that people have encountered with the age difference. i.e. how American's are treating other American's with younger spouses...there seems to be a fascination in the US right now with "Cougars" but in everyday life the reaction is often negative from friends and family members. Like we're some sort of sickos taking advantage of young men...

[BellaChele68 4]

Welcome to the club MPQ!

I'm so happy for you~~

I was worried about my husband's family and how they would feel about me also, but they have been so wonderful and welcomed me with open arms. Heck, they treat me better than my own family. LOL

I love a happy fairy-tale.

Count me in, then, as a member of the "mature" wives club I am 40, getting married to my 24-year-old man in India. We also have not known each other long and plan to marry before the year is over. I will go to India for our marriage and go about things that way. Culturally, Guru is worried about what his Mom and family will have to say about our age difference but between he and I, there is no age difference at all. We are just in love and that's all that matters.