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confusedinusa

Venting out and advise

By confusedinusa in Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits

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confusedinusa Newbie

confusedinusa   0

Posted
Filed: Timeline
Posted

Well, I'm in the AOS process and will have to travel to my country with the AP.

Everything seemed to be OK but I found out today that my hubby has been looking for escort and "massage" services, I assume for when I'm not here. I truly feel confused, upset and sad. We have been married just for a little time and the fact that he looks for women because I have to go to my country makes me wonder if he'll keep looking for women everytime something goes wrong.

I know I have read here a bunch of times I should talk to him but I'm so hurt that I don't really know if I'll be able to actually talk.

Is it normal for guys to look for women when their wives are not around?

I truly need your help

sachinky Mentor

sachinky   465

Posted
Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: India
 Timeline
Posted

Definitely NOT normal.

03/27/2009: Engaged in Ithaca, New York.
08/17/2009: Wedding in Calcutta, India.
09/29/2009: I-130 NOA1
01/25/2010: I-130 NOA2
03/23/2010: Case completed.
05/12/2010: CR-1 interview at Mumbai, India.
05/20/2010: US Entry, Chicago.
03/01/2012: ROC NOA1.
03/26/2012: Biometrics completed.
12/07/2012: 10 year card production ordered.

09/25/2013: N-400 NOA1

10/16/2013: Biometrics completed

12/03/2013: Interview

12/20/2013: Oath ceremony

event.png

thongd4me Experienced

thongd4me   69

Posted
Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: Thailand
 Timeline
Posted
Thanks :( I guess even as I know it, I just wanted someone to confirm it.

I'm truly heartbroken

Absolutely not normal but it happens.

Many years ago an acquaintance needed "comforting" while his wife was pregnant.

Now the result of that comforting has just entered the university and I believe he is helping to pay for it.

His wife has forgiven him but to what extent (as an outsider) I can't be sure.

02/2003 - Met

08/24/09 I-129F; 09/02 NOA1; 10/14 NOA2; 11/24 interview; 11/30 K-1 VISA (92 d); 12/29 POE 12/31/09 Marriage

03/29/-04/06/10 - AOS sent/rcd; 04/13 NOA1; AOS 2 NBC

04/14 $1010 cashed; 04/19 NOA1

04/28 Biom.

06/16 EAD/AP

06/24 Infops; AP mail

06/28 EAD mail; travel 2 BKK; return 07/17

07/20/10 interview, 4d. b4 I-129F anniv. APPROVAL!*

08/02/10 GC

08/09/10 SSN

2012-05-16 Lifting Cond. - I-751 sent

2012-06-27 Biom,

2013-01-10 7 Mo, 2 Wks. & 5 days - 10 Yr. PR Card (no interview)

*2013-04-22 Apply for citizenship (if she desires at that time) 90 days prior to 3yr anniversary of P. Residence

Laveau Community Regular

Laveau   67

Posted
Filed: EB-2 Visa Country: United Kingdom
 Timeline
Posted
Well, I'm in the AOS process and will have to travel to my country with the AP.

Everything seemed to be OK but I found out today that my hubby has been looking for escort and "massage" services, I assume for when I'm not here. I truly feel confused, upset and sad. We have been married just for a little time and the fact that he looks for women because I have to go to my country makes me wonder if he'll keep looking for women everytime something goes wrong.

I know I have read here a bunch of times I should talk to him but I'm so hurt that I don't really know if I'll be able to actually talk.

Is it normal for guys to look for women when their wives are not around?

I truly need your help

As already stated, this isn't normal. I'm so sorry :(

Darnell Grand Master

Darnell   8,479

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: China
 Timeline
Posted

viewing porn is 'normal' .

Hooking up with a human female, face to face, is not 'normal'.

Sorry :(

Sometimes my language usage seems confusing - please feel free to 'read it twice', just in case !
Ya know, you can find the answer to your question with the advanced search tool, when using a PC? Ditch the handphone, come back later on a PC, and try again.

-=-=-=-=-=R E A D ! ! !=-=-=-=-=-

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Congratulations on your approval ! We All Applaud your accomplishment with Most Wonderful Kissies !

 

confusedinusa Newbie

confusedinusa   0

Posted
Filed: Timeline
  • Author
Posted

Thanks everyone for your replies. I guess being far from family and friends this is the best way to take out those mixed emotions I have inside.

I haven't talked to him yet as I just found out this morning but even as hurtful as it could be, I'll do it as soon as he gets back home.

Thanks again

ziia Enthusiast

ziia   9

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Romania
 Timeline
Posted
Well, I'm in the AOS process and will have to travel to my country with the AP.

Everything seemed to be OK but I found out today that my hubby has been looking for escort and "massage" services, I assume for when I'm not here. I truly feel confused, upset and sad. We have been married just for a little time and the fact that he looks for women because I have to go to my country makes me wonder if he'll keep looking for women everytime something goes wrong.

I know I have read here a bunch of times I should talk to him but I'm so hurt that I don't really know if I'll be able to actually talk.

Is it normal for guys to look for women when their wives are not around?

I truly need your help

Wow, that's tough....i'm sorry to hear this. I don't know what advise to give you (F):huh:

New Citizen of the United States and Proud of it!

DeniseBill Enthusiast

DeniseBill   4

Posted
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Netherlands
 Timeline
Posted (edited)
viewing porn is 'normal' .

Hooking up with a human female, face to face, is not 'normal'.

To me viewing porn is just as bad as cheating..... If a husband truly loves you he doesn't have the need to look at others not even if the wife is out of the country.

To Op. Truly sorry for your situation. Follow your heart and find out if you can forgive him, if so, then you really do need to talk to him because I assume you don't want this to happen again. If you can't forgive him, well.... you know what comes next.

Good luck to you and let your heart speak for you.

Edited by DeniseBill

Love is patient and kind;

it is not jealous or conceited or proud;

love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable;

love does not keep a record of wrongs;

love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth.

Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail.

Love is eternal.

inloveforeveryouandmet.jpg

TimeLine:

02-29-08: Met Online

04-26-08: Told eachother how we felt

10-24-08: Went to America

12-01-09: Engaged

01-17-09: Bought the ring

01-21-09: Back to Holland =[

03-10-09: Petition send

03-16-09: NOA1

08-11-09: NOA2!!!! Finally!!!!

08-20-09: Package 3

09-10-09: Package 3 send to Consulate

09-17-09: Package 4

10-01-09: Medical + Xray

10-13-09: Interview!!!!!! Approved!!!!!!

10-15-09: Visa Arrived!!!!

11-20-09: US Entry

01-30-10: Marriage

02-13-10: Honeymoon to South Carolina

New Beginnings Rising Star

New Beginnings   32

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Morocco
 Timeline
Posted
To me viewing porn is just as bad as cheating..... If a husband truly loves you he doesn't have the need to look at others not even if the wife is out of the country.

To Op. Truly sorry for your situation. Follow your heart and find out if you can forgive him, if so, then you really do need to talk to him because I assume you don't want this to happen again. If you can't forgive him, well.... you know what comes next.

Good luck to you and let your heart speak for you.

100% agree. Neither is normal and neither is ok.

justashooter Experienced

justashooter   430

Posted
Filed: Country: China
 Timeline
Posted
viewing porn is 'normal' .

Hooking up with a human female, face to face, is not 'normal'.

Sorry :(

people who cannot differentiate between cheating and entertainment are not secure in their own sexuality. they feel threatened by occasional porn that does not interfere with a relationship. sure, if someone spends so much time looking at porn that they can't make time to have a real relationship it's a problem, but if it doesnt' cut into the contact time, it's a non-issue.

actual 2 sided relationships outside the marriage, on the other hand, are betrayal of the concept of fidelity, and should not be tolerated.

____________________________________________________________________________

obamasolyndrafleeced-lmao.jpg

Susita Mentor

Susita   175

Posted
Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Peru
 Timeline
Posted
people who cannot differentiate between cheating and entertainment are not secure in their own sexuality. they feel threatened by occasional porn that does not interfere with a relationship. sure, if someone spends so much time looking at porn that they can't make time to have a real relationship it's a problem, but if it doesnt' cut into the contact time, it's a non-issue.

actual 2 sided relationships outside the marriage, on the other hand, are betrayal of the concept of fidelity, and should not be tolerated.

:thumbs:

I agree. Watching porn and cheating totally aren't the same thing. There are many couples who actually watch it together, so are they cheating on each other? :blink:

To the OP ~ Discuss the issue with your SO. See where it goes from there...

205656_848198845714_16320940_41282447_7410167_n-1.jpg

 
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