Deciding not to have child/ren

[JSVP08 3]

A fine response except for the amount. $20k? First, it isn't enough to raise a baby (if you don't have insurance it will barely get you out of the hospital) and it's not really so out of reach that someone who cared (a potential grandparent?) wouldn't write a check. What would you do then? Say $500k minimum and you'll be in better hands.

ouch!

hey, don't run this thread into an SS discussion. keep it a kid-haten thread.

[Gemmie 142]

This is a big issue for me. Personally, I want children. BUT I can't stand how people feel the need to constantly ask me WHEN I'm going to have them, and it's only gotten worse since I got married.

First of all, don't assume. I have friends that don't want children, and I hate it when people respond by telling them that they'll change their minds, or asking for all the reasons. Or give them that 'look'. Secondly, I'm 23. When I catch up with friends from high school, the first thing they want to know is when it's happening (since everyone else from my school has 1-3 kids already). I come from a welfare area where kids go to crappy schools, leave, and have kids.

My brother had his first at 23 (his girlfriend was 19) and like I said, that's the norm where I grew up. Were they ready for it? Heck no. They were living with my father, she was unemployed and had no intention of ever working, and he worked at Walmart. The day he told me that they were expecting, he told me he had a credit card so it would be OK. He said they decided to have a kid because he was 23 - "close to 30" - and hadn't done anything with his life.... seriously. In the end, they managed to get an apartment and a ####### load of welfare which equals to another full-time income. They also get taxes cut, and rent reduced, etc so that she doesn't have to work. They know we're not in a position to have them right now and no matter how many times I tell them that we're waiting for when that changes, they continue to ask me. A few weeks ago, they sent me a book about pregnancy and raising kids. When I told them that my grandfather's inheritance money was being saved for our child, they asked "and when is that happening?" And one time when I was talking about how my husband wants to change jobs, I was told that 'well he is, what, 26? He's nearing 30. He needs to figure his life out".

I fully sympathize with people that don't want kids, and having to explain yourselves. But think of it this way. If you come off as confident in your decision, that will show. When I tell people that I'm waiting but am excited for the day it happens, and then show pictures of what I did that weekend (with no kids to tie me down), I know I'm doing the right thing and so do they to some extent.

[^_^ 5,021]

This is a big issue for me. Personally, I want children. BUT I can't stand how people feel the need to constantly ask me WHEN I'm going to have them...

Wait till you're a little older. My wife and I have not been shy about the fact that we want children when the time is right, but now that we're in our 30s I am getting more and more well-meaning people (close friends, cousins) tell me to go see a doctor, it's not too late, they can do miracles. Umm... ok. Thanks.

Edited August 16, 2010 by Legacy member

[^_^ 5,021]

Like I said before, I was merely drawing my opinions from the few Indian-American teenagers ...

It's generally a bad idea to draw conclusions about any population based on its teenagers

[Susita 175]

I feel for you guys. I have 3 kids and instead of people telling me to have kids I have people telling me "oh my god you must be nuts with all those kids."

Some people's goals in life are to travel around the world, exceed in their careers, etc. Mine was to be a mom.

I say everybody should be able to do what they want without having to explain themselves! Just do what you want & be happy!!!

[Amby 490]

I bought organic tomato vodka today

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

i'm waiting for the announcement that aj is gonna be a daddy.

[^_^ 5,021]

i'm waiting for the announcement that aj is gonna be a daddy.

I'm not sure I'd announce it, tbh.

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

I'm not sure I'd announce it, tbh.

i want my dayum cigar!

[JSVP08 3]

I feel for you guys. I have 3 kids and instead of people telling me to have kids I have people telling me "oh my god you must be nuts with all those kids."

Some people's goals in life are to travel around the world, exceed in their careers, etc. Mine was to be a mom.

I say everybody should be able to do what they want without having to explain themselves! Just do what you want & be happy!!!

and thats perfectly fine ... what i don't agree when people think that the norm is to have kid/s ....esp after or when u get married. ...thats why its harder to answer nagging questions when u go out the norm.

i salute those who choose and have chosen to be a parent.... whew! thats a load of work for life and i wish am as strong as u are ...but...the pangs of parenthood has never cross me.. maybe it will, maybe never. i keep the doors open for either way but as of this writing, its still

Edited August 17, 2010 by JSVP08