Deciding not to have child/ren

[JSVP08 3]

Don't forget about 'Granny Lust' as well. That makes parents go nuts with this pushing.. eeeek.

agree.

We don't want kids, at least not now. Claudeth is a handfull already, don't need any more

and i guess she's loving it.... ...

[Peikko 1,575]

It's entirely up to you as a couple whether you have children or not, no explanations owed.

[JSVP08 3]

It's entirely up to you as a couple whether you have children or not, no explanations owed.

true and am not easily influence by others esp when it comes to a huge responsibility such as a child.... its just the nagging question thats irritating now when people cant just believe and simply put.... that not all are into baby thing

....makes them think ur not normal

Edited February 22, 2010 by JSVP08

[M.O 6]

i think people that want kids should have kids...but when they are ready and can offer smthg to their kids...

Edited February 22, 2010 by MichaelOlesea

[Peikko 1,575]

true and am not easily influence by others esp when it comes to a huge responsibility such as a child.... its just the nagging question thats irritating now when people cant just believe and simply put.... that not all are into baby thing

....makes them think ur not normal

By the standard definition of normal, it's probably not, but so what? You should do things because they are right for you, not because they are standard practice.

[Nagishkaw 510]

I am past the child bearing age and I've never had any regrets for not having any children. It's your life and only you can live it.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

true and am not easily influence by others esp when it comes to a huge responsibility such as a child.... its just the nagging question thats irritating now when people cant just believe and simply put.... that not all are into baby thing

....makes them think ur not normal

If you were born and raised in the PI, I can understand. How many couples back home that you know of, were childless?

[Peikko 1,575]

I am past the child bearing age and I've never had any regrets for not having any children. It's your life and only you can live it.

It's very important that those women who choose not to have children are seen as fulfilled, not embittered or missing out. There is nothing at all wrong with choosing not to have children, it can be not only the right, but the best decision. Women are not wombs on legs.

[Susita 175]

How do u answer nagging questions from family, relatives and friends that you have no plans yet to have a child? or maybe not planning to have one at all?.... i do bluntly say "no plans yet" or sometimes "no plans"... and it does raise some eyebrows when id use the latter. Why is it that when one is married, people always assume the next best thing is to have a child? ok, i don't oppose those who do and that i like children but i have never imagine myself being tied with all the responsibilities of raising one. Is this a sign of weakness? or its a result of what i might have been through? such as having raised and lived in poverty... or having lived independently so long that iam scared of being threaten by such?

right now, the decision is no. it may change later who knows....

Anyone there who considers not having a child? or is it just me? Or anyone who decided not to have one and change her mind later and what have changed that decision?

I have two kids, and I'm pregnant with my 3rd. I can't relate to not wanting to have kids BUT I have to say... I do understand one thing. Not having to explain yourself to people. I hate when people act like you 'owe' them some kind of explanation for your decisions, it pizzes me off bigtime!

I think if people don't want kids - good for them. And if they do - good for them. Why do we always have to explain ourselves to everyone? UGH! I get questions like "isn't three kids a bit much?"

In conclusion, who cares what people think. Do what makes you happy and screw them!

... but if you want to babysit....

[Danno 1,228]

Certainly don't have kids if you don't want them but really now........the historic purpose of marriage is to,"Start a Family".

Today Marriage has morphed more into a act of romance, but for many people, especially older folk, it seems empty and odd to not have kids.

MAny cultures still embrace the link between Marriage and children but many Western cultures don't any more.

( These same cultures also are rapidly dying off.)

My best friend has never had any kids... yet he loves everyone else's kids even to the point of opening up education funds for them as well as many other things.

On the other hand His wife wants a kid so bad it has caused serious problems for them.

but that's another story

-To thine own self be true.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

It's very important that those women who choose not to have children are seen as fulfilled, not embittered or missing out. There is nothing at all wrong with choosing not to have children, it can be not only the right, but the best decision. Women are not wombs on legs.

There's also a cultural perspective to it. In a Third World country such as the Philippines, your children are your social security. Your family is everything.

[Peikko 1,575]

The OP doesn't appear to be constrained by such a cultural perspective, even if her relatives are. That's the point though, it's what she thinks is important that matters, not what her relatives might want - she should feel no obligation to explain herself to them unless she wants to as well, that's the American way

Edited February 23, 2010 by Madame Cleo

[Nagishkaw 510]

The OP doesn't appear to be constrained by such a cultural perspective, even if her relatives are. That's the point though, it's what she thinks is important that matters, not what her relatives might want - she should feel no obligation to explain herself to them unless she wants to as well, that's the American way

Well said!

[one...two...tree 2,762]

The OP doesn't appear to be constrained by such a cultural perspective, even if her relatives are. That's the point though, it's what she thinks is important that matters, now what her relatives want - she should feel no obligation to explain herself to them unless she wants to as well, that's the American way

Ultimately it is hers and her husband's decision, however, I would venture to guess that she has a lot of respect for her family and is finding it difficult to come to peace with the decision, which is why she came here looking for solace. I'm saying that I understand both perspectives.

Edited February 23, 2010 by Galt's gallstones

[Peikko 1,575]

Ultimately it is hers and her husband's decision, however, I would venture to guess that she has a lot of respect for her family and is finding it difficult to come to peace with the decision, which is why she came here looking for solace. I'm saying that I understand both perspectives.

Having respect for ones family does not include being riddled with guilt for making a perfectly valid decision.