Deciding not to have child/ren

[JSVP08 3]

How do u answer nagging questions from family, relatives and friends that you have no plans yet to have a child? or maybe not planning to have one at all?.... i do bluntly say "no plans yet" or sometimes "no plans"... and it does raise some eyebrows when id use the latter. Why is it that when one is married, people always assume the next best thing is to have a child? ok, i don't oppose those who do and that i like children but i have never imagine myself being tied with all the responsibilities of raising one. Is this a sign of weakness? or its a result of what i might have been through? such as having raised and lived in poverty... or having lived independently so long that iam scared of being threaten by such?

right now, the decision is no. it may change later who knows....

Anyone there who considers not having a child? or is it just me? Or anyone who decided not to have one and change her mind later and what have changed that decision?

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

I just tell them we already have four kids. i don't bother to tell them that they are stuffed animals.

[PhiLandShiR 18]

How do u answer nagging questions from family, relatives and friends that you have no plans yet to have a child? or maybe not planning to have one at all?.... i do bluntly say "no plans yet" or sometimes "no plans"... and it does raise some eyebrows when id use the latter. Why is it that when one is married, people always assume the next best thing is to have a child? ok, i don't oppose those who do and that i like children but i have never imagine myself being tied with all the responsibilities of raising one. Is this a sign of weakness? or its a result of what i might have been through? such as having raised and lived in poverty... or having lived independently so long that iam scared of being threaten by such?

right now, the decision is no. it may change later who knows....

Anyone there who considers not having a child? or is it just me? Or anyone who decided not to have one and change her mind later and what have changed that decision?

All those people pushing you to have children already have children I bet...

Maybe they just don't want anyone to live a simple life...

[Darnell 8,478]

i think the answer depends on:

1. yer age

2. the other spouse's age

3. whatever socio-econonomic strata the two of you fit into

4. whatever socio-economic strata the two of you want to fit into, later

5. yer gender

if you are phils lass, and this heat is coming from your phils family - the easiest way out of the question (much less the answer), imo - is to have yer husband field all of these questions from YOUR family.

in general, though, if yer in the USA - I'd say something innocuous like this: 'We're saving up monies to have a baby. As soon as we have 20K in savings, we're going for it. Would you like to contribute to the fund? I take paypal and credit cards - what's yer email address for the paypal invoice ?'

Good Luck !

Edited February 22, 2010 by Darnell

[mawilson 2,133]

Anti-Baby Corner

[dakay ♥ 10]

in general, though, if yer in the USA - I'd say something innocuous like this: 'We're saving up monies to have a baby. As soon as we have 20K in savings, we're going for it. Would you like to contribute to the fund? I take paypal and credit cards - what's yer email address for the paypal invoice ?'

Good Luck !

yeah!

Some people think that the consequence of marriage is having children, it is absurd!

[JSVP08 3]

All those people pushing you to have children already have children I bet...

Maybe they just don't want anyone to live a simple life...

.... i like it simple.

[JSVP08 3]

i think the answer depends on:

1. yer age

2. the other spouse's age

3. whatever socio-econonomic strata the two of you fit into

4. whatever socio-economic strata the two of you want to fit into, later

5. yer gender

if you are phils lass, and this heat is coming from your phils family - the easiest way out of the question (much less the answer), imo - is to have yer husband field all of these questions from YOUR family.

in general, though, if yer in the USA - I'd say something innocuous like this: 'We're saving up monies to have a baby. As soon as we have 20K in savings, we're going for it. Would you like to contribute to the fund? I take paypal and credit cards - what's yer email address for the paypal invoice ?'

Good Luck !

1. correct..maybe age is a factor. 36 now... hence they r pushing really hard ... but how bout bcoz am not into it?

2. spouse age is close to mine. no prob

3. not hurting... but maybe it will if there's a kid ... maybe

4. we want to travel more.. will save for it

5. female (he leaves the decision to have or not...he has his kids anyway and i dont)

a pi lass and in USA now. thank u darnell for ur suggestion.

Anti-Baby Corner

I just tell them we already have four kids. i don't bother to tell them that they are stuffed animals.

[Ban Hammer 13,344]

How do u answer nagging questions from family, relatives and friends that you have no plans yet to have a child? or maybe not planning to have one at all?.... i do bluntly say "no plans yet" or sometimes "no plans"... and it does raise some eyebrows when id use the latter. Why is it that when one is married, people always assume the next best thing is to have a child? ok, i don't oppose those who do and that i like children but i have never imagine myself being tied with all the responsibilities of raising one. Is this a sign of weakness? or its a result of what i might have been through? such as having raised and lived in poverty... or having lived independently so long that iam scared of being threaten by such?

right now, the decision is no. it may change later who knows....

Anyone there who considers not having a child? or is it just me? Or anyone who decided not to have one and change her mind later and what have changed that decision?

to make a minor modification of the oj wentworth commercial might be the best:

"it's your ovaries, use them when you want to."

[Nessa 23]

It's a personal decision. A lot of people think they should have kids because it's the norm, which is ridiculous, you make the decision to have children if you want to raise a family, not because everybody else have children. And whatever is the reason you don't want children, it's your choice to tell or not to tell people. It's none of anybody's business the decisions you make with your life.

Some people will be very judgmental, though, so be prepared.

And no, it's not a sign of weakness. How many neglected children are there because people keep breeding because it's the normal thing to do or whatever. If you think you don't want the responsibility, or you can't afford, or you just don't want to change your life style, you should definitely not have children. That's the most responsible thing to do.

[Jasman0717 9]

We don't want kids, at least not now. Claudeth is a handfull already, don't need any more

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

We don't want kids, at least not now. Claudeth is a handfull already, don't need any more

That's what I tell Marie. I don't need another child, I am already raising a daughter.

[Darnell 8,478]

1. correct..maybe age is a factor. 36 now... hence they r pushing really hard

Don't forget about 'Granny Lust' as well. That makes parents go nuts with this pushing.. eeeek.

[JSVP08 3]

That's what I tell Marie. I don't need another child, I am already raising a daughter.

yikes! ....

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Anti-Baby Corner

Aw! Thanks for the trip down memory lane, Ma! Wilson. A most excellent thread.