two questions about K-1

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Yes, people have had visas denied for seemingly minor things like this, usually at consulates in high fraud countries. They don't need to provide any legal documents that prove you are married because they can say you essentially admitted to it in your evidence.

And people have been denied entry on their K1 when they slipped up at the port of entry and referred to their fiance/fiancee as "my husband" or "my wife".

It's not "cute" to call your unmarried partner by a legal term. Not if you are partaking of a process where it's imperative to NOT be legally married.

[kabhatti 2]

I think you'll be ok, if you sent a bunch of evidence including several chats, emails, photos, boarding passes etc., I can optimistically say that they don't have the time to read every letter or sentence in your papers, especially chat logs.

Best of Luck

[SunDrop 59]

I can optimistically say that they don't have the time to read every letter or sentence in your papers, especially chat logs.

Best of Luck

Can you? Unless you have worked for the US Embassy in Islamabad, I wouldn't assume this sort of thing.

The main issue is that what's done is done. There's no 'unsending' the offending document, but definitely prepare yourself for some trick questioning and possibly some evidence of formal marriage plans (venue reservations, correspondence from your minister/ paster/ JoP about the service, dress receipt, caterer quotes, etc.) that she can take with her to the interview and produce if there's even a suggestion that they suspect you're already married.

My fiance and I were chatting on the phone the other day and he told me he'd run out of lotion. I reminded him that I'd picked up some more when I noticed they were on sale at Fry's and had coupons for them, so I'd put them in his bathroom closet for whenever he needed it. He replied, "Awesome, thanks. My wife's so good to me!" and I replied, "Who the hell is she, and do I need to come sort her out?" lol... We were joking, but I was deadly serious about not referring to me as that in public until I am his wife. You just never know....

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

yeah this is why i'm also worried.. problem is i already sent that .. the whole reason for this topic.. if i hadn't sent any i would've

picked other emails with no mention of that.. but it's already sent... i sent like a few dozen pages of chat logs... all clean with no wife/husband remarks...

about 7-8 emails some several pages long cuz we write novel sized letters to each other.. haha and only one of the emails contains that one single sentence.... it's already sent so i really don't know what to do at this point...

has anyone been giving heaches for this.. first hand experience please if you have.. and also is there a process in place to

let's say fight them on this issue cuz technically where is the legal documents and marriage certs that they can produce that says "yes you are married"...

i understand ur view of don't do it and it's not cute or what not.. but i'm saying as human beings and being engaged to someone there are times that joking or not u see the future ahead and sometimes that slips... and i alerady know the legal meaning of marriage and

why it has weight in regards to ownership of property or monetary things if say tomorrow i would kick the bucket..

anyhow at this point i'm leaving it in god's hands i guess.... it's not much i can do.. but please advice on

some good arguments in case they pressure my fiancee during her interview at the embassy.

I'm past the whole "don't do it man" point as i said in my original post.. i sent the email as evidence with the I-129F packet.. so please don't write back about not doing it cuz it's a little too late for that.. i would however would love to hear personal stories of

others being in the same boat as me and if they got denied or were able to get past it... or some good arguments

for such a small one sentence in only ONE of our evidence documents...

There are plenty of those stories here on VJ, some just recently. Most visa denials are caused by the applicants not being prepared or doing things they should not. You cannot overestimate the impact such things will have in difficult consulates that are looking for visa fraud with a microscope.

You also have to understand that this CO that reviews your case and does the interview has a LOT of power to completely mess up your life for a long time to come. You may, or may not be able to appeal a denial...do you really want to? How many years are you willing to put into that? How much money? Applicants and petitioners really need to be aware of the process they are in and stop aiming guns at their feet.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I think you'll be ok, if you sent a bunch of evidence including several chats, emails, photos, boarding passes etc., I can optimistically say that they don't have the time to read every letter or sentence in your papers, especially chat logs.

Best of Luck

Islamabad sometimes takes MONTHS to review each document in detail. Even after the interview. The visa can be denied even if the topic is not mentioned at the interview. Islamabad typically puts applications into AP. I am glad you are optomistic. Maybe he should send some more letters referring to his fiancee as his wife.

What this couple has done, is done. Hopefully other VJ members will learn not to do this (though it seems to come up often enough, I sometimes wonder if it isn't 9 year olds applying for these visas)

Your fiance had best be prepared with a good explanation if it comes up.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I was recently engaged in South Vietnam, our Khmer ceremony was the same as a marriage, except we have no license from government. We call each other husband in wife in our letters to each other or on the phone. I too will shortly send in my k1, I hope it's not a problem either, I will have my Lawyer address it if he thinks it necessary. I think it comforts us emotionally to call each other husband and wife. Think about it, we live several thousand miles apart and these are some of darkest days waiting for some stranger to decide our fate. I would think or at least hope the Consulates would take that into consideration if our applications show no sign of fraud. Good luck my friend.

Consulates, and the starngers who decide your fate, especially ones like HCMC do NOT take your personal sacrifice into consideration and really couldn't care less. Calling each other husband and wife in writing and turning it into a consulate that needs to decide to issue you a fiancee visa is stupid. For what possible reason would you do such a thing?

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

That is a bit harsh in my opinion. I wouldn't go around calling people a liar. My fiance calls me "the wife" on occassion when he is talking to other people. Not being married on paper does not mean that people do not already consider themselves married spiritually, or that they are not already married in their hearts. How do you suppose people were married before there was some government clerk to tell them it was "official"?

Case and point.

Oh please. Lest someone be offended rather than be denied a visa? Deal with it. If they are not married, the person is not their wife or husband. Saying they are is a lie which can cause them problems in the visa process. Telling a lie, by f=definition, makes one a liar. Since when is it offensive to speak the truth? Being less than honest about it is of no service to the people doing it. If I see someone putting a gun in their mouth I do not say "Pardon me chap, but are you aware that such activity could result in bodily injury?" I say, "Put that thing down before you blow you f**king brains out!!!!" Pardon me for paying someone the compliment of being direct.

It does not matter ONE WHIT how people got married before the government regulated it. The government DOES regulate it and they WILL deny a visa if you admit to not being eligible for it. Try your argument with the consulate in Islamabad, let us know how that works out for you.

[SunDrop 59]

If they are not married, the person is not their wife or husband. Saying they are is a lie which can cause them problems in the visa process. Telling a lie, by f=definition, makes one a liar.

Since when did a term of endearment make someone a liar? People refer to their partners as 'cupcake' or 'teddybear' (not us! lol) but their other half is blatantly neither one of those. Some terms of endearment are cultural. I can think of lots of African American friends who refer to their girlfriends as 'my Wifey'. The Brits often call their female partners 'the Missus' even if they're not married.

The OP used this term of endearment in a private email. The error was making that email public and more importantly, submitting it as evidence of relationship. That fact alone is the error - a proof of relationship document that refers to his fiancee as 'wife'.

It is extreme to say that people who refer to their partner using a term of endearment are liars. It's just a harsh fact to say that someone has inadvertently submitted evidence that could cause the CO to believe that their relationship is beyond the stage they are claiming, therefore raising questions as to whether they have lied in their application.

[baron555 934]

Since when did a term of endearment make someone a liar? People refer to their partners as 'cupcake' or 'teddybear' (not us! lol) but their other half is blatantly neither one of those. Some terms of endearment are cultural. I can think of lots of African American friends who refer to their girlfriends as 'my Wifey'. The Brits often call their female partners 'the Missus' even if they're not married.

The OP used this term of endearment in a private email. The error was making that email public and more importantly, submitting it as evidence of relationship. That fact alone is the error - a proof of relationship document that refers to his fiancee as 'wife'.

It is extreme to say that people who refer to their partner using a term of endearment are liars. It's just a harsh fact to say that someone has inadvertently submitted evidence that could cause the CO to believe that their relationship is beyond the stage they are claiming, therefore raising questions as to whether they have lied in their application.

Sigh, some of you just don't get it. When it comes to international relationships, and more importantly, US Immigration, couples HAVE to behave in accordance with the expected standards as dictated by the regulations and the consulates. Terms of endearment or your entire emotional relationship with this person are nothing to USCIS and the consulates.

We all have to act like they expect us to act (one of which is to use the "correct" terminology). Period. They don't care about your relationship, just that you satisfy the requirements.

It is actually for the good of both and the US.

My random mail order bride (only cost me $99) and I did this and now as I type she is getting ready for another day of us together in love and harmony.

We really hope your day will come soon; just don't act like it is here yet because it isn't.

[sachinky 465]

The difference between a term of endearment such as "honey" and "cupcake" and a legal term such as "wife" or "husband" is QUITE obvious.

I certainly didn't call my boyfriend my fiance until he became one and I didn't call him my husband until he actually was.

[kabhatti 2]

.... folks seem to be really harsh on the OP, he clearly said it was a mistake that he let one chat log slip through. It's done, he's now asking what to do about it in a positive and constructive manner.

Edited February 22, 2010 by kabhatti

[Nik+Heather 121]

.... folks seem to be really harsh on the OP, he clearly said it was a mistake that he let one chat log slip through. It's done, he's now asking what to do about it in a positive and constructive manner.

I think sometimes people are talking to "those who come after" rather than the OP A lot of us regular posters like to think that some people just read around here, and sometimes broadening the subject or speaking in general might be helpful to them. Just think if someone stumbled on this thread before they sent any emails in and found a bunch of people saying "Oh, that will be no problem at all!" Then they might not be so careful, and create a problem for themselves. I think the OP did get some good advice, and the rest should be ignored/appreciated in the context I've just described. I do agree that some of the wording has been a bit harsh, however.

[SunDrop 59]

We really hope your day will come soon; just don't act like it is here yet because it isn't.

Just what the hell is that supposed to mean? Where we personally are in the process has no bearing on the post you quoted - whatsoever.

No one is denying that using husband/ wife when you are under the scrutiny of the USCIS et al. is negligent. Was it foolish, yes, of course. But calling someone a liar for using a term of endearment is, however, uncalled for.

...your entire emotional relationship with this person are nothing to USCIS and the consulates.

Try telling that to anyone who has been denied on the grounds of insufficient evidence of a bona fide relationship, and see how far you get convincing them that emotions play no part on the USCIS/ Consular perspective of a visa application.

[sachinky 465]

Actually, your emotional relationship/ties means nothing to them. They want hard proof for "bonafide evidence" such as joint bank accounts, pictures, joint taxes, life insurance, boarding passes and passport stamps. Try crying at the interview and waxing eloquent about how much you love your husband, and see how much they care and if you can melt their cold hardened heart. For example, plenty of arranged marriages from India get approved. There's nothing emotional there, not yet, at least, no "hunny bunny" and "sweetums." Presumably there's not much talking/chatting/emailing before the marriage.

And also PLEASE, husband/wife are NOT terms of endearment. Where do people get this idea from? They are legal terms which specify a very particular relationship. For example, when I talk, I call a lot of my friends "honey," "sweetheart" or "darling." Needless to say, I don't refer to my friends as my "husband."

Anyway, OP: At this point there's not much you CAN do considering it's already been sent in. Wait and watch and be prepared at the interview, assuming your petition IS approved. Good luck.

[Rob and Jill 82]

No one is denying that using husband/ wife when you are under the scrutiny of the USCIS et al. is negligent. Was it foolish, yes, of course. But calling someone a liar for using a term of endearment is, however, uncalled for.