Leaving the US today, :(

[Andy and Kayla 45]

Just a short post venting about the fact that this trip has come to an end - I have never had 6 weeks go quicker!

We had a great time together and the only consoling fact in my leaving today is that we're that much closer to being together for good; these goodbye days are still super tough though.

I'm going to buy an extra-large double double the second I get to Toronto Airport for comfort.

[Sam and Ben 2]

((hug))

It's tough... we've all been there. Ben and I always found it helpful to start planning when we'd be able to see each other next. Even if it falls through, keeping a date in mind of our next meeting made the goodbyes a little less bittersweet.

[Wyatt's Torch 45]

I feel for you! My wife and I have only had a maximum of two weeks together on each trip (though we've had about a dozen separate visits over the past two years), but every time the parting has been difficult...and I was always, without fail, depressed the day before I had to leave (or vice versa).

I can't imagine having to leave after a full six weeks. Well, you'll be back soon enough!

I guess you can't start the K-1 process yet? That's got to be a tough situation for the both of you.

It's almost too bad that you couldn't have just decided to stay and go the AOS route (provided you had no intentions of doing so when you crossed the border).

Edited February 18, 2010 by Wyatt's Torch

[TimandJoyce 1]

Sam and Ben made a good point. Plan the next time you'll see each other. That's what Tim and I did.

wow...6 weeks! We only saw each other a week at a time, until 2008 when we went on a two week road trip to CA. We had months between visits as he was on the east coast, and I on the west. It was hard, but we made it! Hard to believe we met in 2006, and my first trip to visit him was in 2007.....

[Wyatt's Torch 45]

Sam and Ben made a good point. Plan the next time you'll see each other. That's what Tim and I did.

Oh totally. I should have given props to Sam for that advice too.

Things are ALWAYS much better when you have a date to look forward to. Of course, my wife would always get annoyed when we'd talk each night and I'd say, "Twenty more days!" or somesuch. Then again, she's probably getting annoyed NOW when I'm saying, "Fifteen more days!" regarding my interview date.

[CDAgirlMI 51]

((hug))

It's tough... we've all been there. Ben and I always found it helpful to start planning when we'd be able to see each other next. Even if it falls through, keeping a date in mind of our next meeting made the goodbyes a little less bittersweet.

I'm a little late, as a few people have already mentioned this.

It's a great idea. Gives you something to look forward to!

[redmen99 1]

Oh totally. I should have given props to Sam for that advice too.

Things are ALWAYS much better when you have a date to look forward to. Of course, my wife would always get annoyed when we'd talk each night and I'd say, "Twenty more days!" or somesuch. Then again, she's probably getting annoyed NOW when I'm saying, "Fifteen more days!" regarding my interview date.

HAHAHAHAAA My husband and I do this constantly when we are apart! We are very lucky that we've been together a lot during the immigration process, mostly because he is unemployed right now, so he'll come down for 2 or 3 weeks at a time. I didn't see him for almost all of January because he wanted to spend some time in Canada and mostly because EI was giving him a hassle about not being in Canada. So for the whole month of January after I left him in Montreal, I always heard is it February yet? Is it February yet? How many more days? Then when it got to a few days, we started counting hours... yeah we are total dorks but it really helped!

[Sam and Ben 2]

Ben and I would text each other before work every single morning. Every single morning. Each day, one of us would say something along the lines of: "Have a good Monday, only 130 days left until I see you again!"... Sometimes we'd have to wait months between visits, but still seeing those numbers go down made us smile.

[Rhiannercakes 14]

I know how you feel.

Before I moved here I visited my husband for 12 weeks to see if we can actually live together without having many problems. That was really hard to come home from.

Edited February 18, 2010 by Rhiannercakes

[Hugglebuggles 60]

Yeah I'll 4th that! Sam's idea is a smart one. We would always try and focus on the next trip, so instead of being sad we'd have something to look forward to. The distance is defiantly hard, but it's very much worth it in the end. We did the long distance thing for 4 years and now living together is such an amazing thing, I can't even describe it. All those years of traveling back and forth, all the money spent, all worth it.

Just curious, where in NC does Andy live? My husband lived there when we first met. It's a great state, I want to go back and visit sooner rather than later!

[Married2009 32]

My husband came down when the grandbabies were born (twin girls) in August. He stayed for 6 weeks. It was really hard for him to leave. That was why we waited so long to start the CR-1 - didn't want to chance him not being able to cross when the girls were born. Now we are waitng to see when his interview is - then we can count days again!

[Wyatt's Torch 45]

HAHAHAHAAA My husband and I do this constantly when we are apart! We are very lucky that we've been together a lot during the immigration process, mostly because he is unemployed right now, so he'll come down for 2 or 3 weeks at a time. I didn't see him for almost all of January because he wanted to spend some time in Canada and mostly because EI was giving him a hassle about not being in Canada. So for the whole month of January after I left him in Montreal, I always heard is it February yet? Is it February yet? How many more days? Then when it got to a few days, we started counting hours... yeah we are total dorks but it really helped!

Wow...you guys really ARE in the same boat as my wife and I...very similar timelines, and also similar life circumstances. I've been off work for awhile now too, and the main reason I haven't taken a long vacation down there since early November is because of the EI situation.

I've said it a few times in various threads, but I'll say it again: if a couple's relationship can survive while being mostly apart during the long immigration process, it's a sign that you can face virtually any hardship together. I'd love to see statistics of spousal immigration marriage success rates versus regular, domestic marriage success rates. If the national average hovers around 50%, I'd be willing to bet that spousal immigration marriage success rates would be closer to 80%.

[JlovesA 109]

If the national average hovers around 50%, I'd be willing to bet that spousal immigration marriage success rates would be closer to 80%.

I would tend to agree...what I love most about this website is how everybody's love for their S.O. really shows. It's very uplifting! For the most part, everybody seems really in love and it's heartwarming. Anyway, I think if you're willing to go through the immigration process, you are probably very committed to your spouse. Because most of us have been long distance relationships, our relationships are harder than most people's and so if you can stick it out long enough to live in the same country, you've already gone through more hardships than the average couple does.

That sounded like a lot of blither blather- sorry if it doesn't make sense!

P.S. Me and my boyfriend have been saying everyday since I booked his flight "# days left!!" Today is 37...it's flying by (phew).

[Kimbear 53]

Awww Kayla /hug

it's always hard to separate..even though i would promise david i wouldn't cry i would every time i had to stop looking at him at the airport

Sam gave you the best advice. you need to keep your hopes up and planning for the future does that. Gives you something to look forward too.

[Wyatt's Torch 45]

it's always hard to separate..even though i would promise david i wouldn't cry i would every time i had to stop looking at him at the airport

Yeah...I always wished I could just drop her off at the airport / be dropped off at the airport. Prolonging it was always very difficult. There was only one time that we both broke down though...and that was embarrassing and painful at the same time, each of us bawling on the other's shoulder for about five minutes. When I finally did turn to leave, there was a young guy who must have seen the tail end of it and he said, "I'm sorry man...you'll see her soon" or something like that, which I thought was incredibly compassionate. Most would just roll their eyes and snicker, I'm sure.

It's funny though. Throughout this process I've been in relatively good spirits. It's only been in the last three weeks or so that I've been quite dejected about things... I guess it's like a speed skater that starts to fatigue right at the end of a race. This last little stretch has been the most challenging of all, but we'll make it.