Tips to help your SO adjust

[amysaid 9]

My hubby's been here a week... so far there's been a lot of happiness, a few tears, moderate stress and anxiety (re: not being able to work yet) and daily voice chats with his family back home. pretty typical, I guess. so far he's given a thumbs-up to mexican food, olive garden, and anything i've made at home. thumbs-down to taco bell.

I would say pretty normal chica. It will be up and down for some time and the hardest thing for him will be not working. I pray he finds employment soon Amy. Did the Taco Bell give him bathroom hell? My hubster digs anything buffet...swears if we opened one in EG that it would be closed down in one day the way they eat. LOL.

Doesn't Taco Bell give everyone bathroom hell? But I still like the nachos Mmm, fake spicy cheese sauce.

[Aymsgirl 0]

My hubby's been here a week... so far there's been a lot of happiness, a few tears, moderate stress and anxiety (re: not being able to work yet) and daily voice chats with his family back home. pretty typical, I guess. so far he's given a thumbs-up to mexican food, olive garden, and anything i've made at home. thumbs-down to taco bell.

I would say pretty normal chica. It will be up and down for some time and the hardest thing for him will be not working. I pray he finds employment soon Amy. Did the Taco Bell give him bathroom hell? My hubster digs anything buffet...swears if we opened one in EG that it would be closed down in one day the way they eat. LOL.

Doesn't Taco Bell give everyone bathroom hell? But I still like the nachos Mmm, fake spicy cheese sauce.

We were laughing at work one day about how when we were kids and would go to the skating rink and eat the nachos and they made the cheese out of powder. We totally dug it though. I could live without the bell hell.

[Sandrila 1]

Study the teachings of prophet Muhhamed. Wife is not MOMMY anhd wife is not slave. Follow the quran dude take it like a man!!

Amen! Alleluia!

[childress_london 3]

My husband got here Sunday night. Now we are busy doing all the paperwork to get him settled in. Poor thing is bored already with nothing to do while I'm at work.

[illnevergetthis 5]

My husband got here Sunday night. Now we are busy doing all the paperwork to get him settled in. Poor thing is bored already with nothing to do while I'm at work.

Congratulations on your husband arrival!

[Jamaican JNR 2]

So, for those of us who have already gone through the (possibley painful) adjustment period after our significan others arrive in the United States, I think it would be beneficial to create a list of tried and true tips for those sistas out there who haven't gone through it yet. These can be cultural and/or religious in origin, or just helpful tips for when you go from living alone to sharing your space

Here are some of mine:

*Have some food from home readily available if possible

I stocked the cupboards with cans of foul and had the round bread popular across the ME/NA.

That softened the blow of odd things like tuna sandwiches and frozen pizza a bit

*Make space for him.

He might not come with a lot of stuff, but make sure there's a spot on the bookshelf for him,

room in the closet and in the drawers

*Watering can in the bathroom

At least from what I'm aware of, many people from the ME/NA region don't feel comfortable using just toilet paper. Putting a watering can in the bathroom will allow easy access at that certain time. Also, there are several bidet attachments availble that can be fit on american toilets.

*If he makes salat (ie muslim daily prayer), find the direction of prayer (usually NE) and get a printout of prayer times for your area.

The direction of prayer in North America is generally North East. Buying a cheap qiblah compass will help to find the exact direction.

Prayer times differ by location. Put your zipcode into Islamic Finder and you'll get a page that will list prayer times for the day, a link to a monthly prayer times chart, and a list of muslim businesses in the area, which may provide you info on where to find home food. Islamic finder also has a athan 3.0 program that you can download onto the computer. This program will calculate prayer times for your area and call the athan (call to prayer) on your computer.

Ask him if he has room to bring a prayer rug in his suitcase. Since he has limited room, offer to buy him one so he has more room to bring other stuff.

Those ideas are very good and should be followed by most if not all who find themselves in that category. I am from the Caribbean (Jamaica) background and my wife is USC. When I first arrived, things were in place for me and I felt very special. Two different cultures sometimes may not differ too much, but what I learnt over the past couple of months is that you should show respect to each other's culture, food, music and way of life.

The experience for my wife was new in that, she never shared her space (home) before to a man re living with her; with each passing day however, we learn how to co-exist, learn about each others mood, strength and weakness. We talk about most things together and hardly keep secrets. She introduce me to her family, friends and co-workers and I acknowledge them all with respect.

With each passing day, we learn something new about each other and it really is a good thing; no relationship is perfect and no individual is flawless, but we discuss ways in which we can co-exist without disrespecting or critizing each other.

It really is a wonderful experience for me and my spouce.

[M_n_M 1]

Congrats Pandora!!! My hubby is coming next Friday and I'm so unsure of what to do to help him adjust quickly. I know it's a process that takes time, but I want to be ready. I'm thinking I'll show him around the area on the first night. I don't know where else to go from there.... <sigh> We're both Iranian, so I've got the food, bathroom, and most of the Iranian cultural side down... I want to know how I can help him adjust here. Any ideas?

~M

[myheartwillgoon 0]

Get them a drivers test book and have them start studying for the test. The sooner they drive, the sooner they feel empowered and more independent. Plan alot of fun things while he is waiting to get to work.

[M_n_M 1]

That's definitely on my list of things to do... thanks!

~M

[doodlebugg 10]

My husband got here Sunday night. Now we are busy doing all the paperwork to get him settled in. Poor thing is bored already with nothing to do while I'm at work.

That's great! Congratulations!

[Nothing1234 2]

My husband got here Sunday night. Now we are busy doing all the paperwork to get him settled in. Poor thing is bored already with nothing to do while I'm at work.

OMG! Awesome news!!!! What a blessing...

Get him started studying for driving test, looking for volunteer work or a "honey do list" (i love the last one personally...hehe) as others suggested. He will be fine!

[CnT4ever 1]

Get them a drivers test book and have them start studying for the test. The sooner they drive, the sooner they feel empowered and more independent. Plan alot of fun things while he is waiting to get to work.

Definitely! I can't stress how much better this made my husband feel (to be able to drive and get around on his own).

[bhajishah 4]

a good leather kit (belt for muth and boot for butt)

and boundries have laid out from get go

and oh yah Omar

im the companion, i should enjoy time with you

Im not mOMMY, here to take care of you and only you. get facts/priorities straight up front, and we will get along JUUUST fine!!

[bhajishah 4]

dont forget phillipino, chinese and maybe some new Latin dishes

always a favorite of the arab immigrants

[amysaid 9]

We are struggling here... Anyone who's been on the rollercoaster for a while care to talk? Send me a PM.