divorcing prior to ten year permanent residence

[monihar78 2]

Dear Members,

i was looking for my answer in google and found this wonderful forum and registered to become a family here.

I am married to my wife(USC), for almost 2 yrs now and i have my 2 yr permanent residence here which would expire next year.

Now things have changed a lot in between us since time we dated and got married. I am facing mental and psyological trauma since almost one and half years now. She is highly controlling, wont let me go anywhere, i am allowed no friends, threatens, have to do things her way, cannot talk too much to my parents, I have to do all the hard works at home while she sits and orders, cannot go out of the house, cannot go for my career and go the way she wants me to, she controls all my money and i cannot spend anything. I cannot sleep at night and always stay afraid.

I have decided to go out of this marriage someway. Now I know that i have to show that i am still married when i would apply for the ten year green card.. But i read that I have to show that this marriage was entered into good intention, which is true. I came in tourist visa twice, 2nd time we got married couple days before i had to leave and i stayed back.

Now what do VJ ers advice what should i do ? should i delay my divorce till my 2 yr residency expiration? or what should i show as evidence of good intention. We have pics, joint a/cs, joint utility etc etc. I have no idea whether she would write for me or not that it was entered into good intention... i can try though. WHich would be the best way to go ?? please advice ........ i am literally confused and lost. I have a very good job and career here which i really dont to spoil and go back home.

Thanks

[v333k 59]

Dear Members,

i was looking for my answer in google and found this wonderful forum and registered to become a family here.

I am married to my wife(USC), for almost 2 yrs now and i have my 2 yr permanent residence here which would expire next year.

Now things have changed a lot in between us since time we dated and got married. I am facing mental and psyological trauma since almost one and half years now. She is highly controlling, wont let me go anywhere, i am allowed no friends, threatens, have to do things her way, cannot talk too much to my parents, I have to do all the hard works at home while she sits and orders, cannot go out of the house, cannot go for my career and go the way she wants me to, she controls all my money and i cannot spend anything. I cannot sleep at night and always stay afraid.

I have decided to go out of this marriage someway. Now I know that i have to show that i am still married when i would apply for the ten year green card.. But i read that I have to show that this marriage was entered into good intention, which is true. I came in tourist visa twice, 2nd time we got married couple days before i had to leave and i stayed back.

Now what do VJ ers advice what should i do ? should i delay my divorce till my 2 yr residency expiration? or what should i show as evidence of good intention. We have pics, joint a/cs, joint utility etc etc. I have no idea whether she would write for me or not that it was entered into good intention... i can try though. WHich would be the best way to go ?? please advice ........ i am literally confused and lost. I have a very good job and career here which i really dont to spoil and go back home.

Thanks

First thing, welcome to VJ.

The most important thing is to collect enough evidence (as you mentioned a few). When does your GC expire? Do you think you can stay in this relationship until then + 6 months or so? If you provide additional information, then we may be able to give you better advice.

In any case, make sure you have copies of all evidence such as apartment leases with both names, mortages, insurance, credit cards, bank accounts, pictures, utility bills. Even though as you say, your wife is not allowing you to use to money (#######?), but it is important to the officer to see that your name was on these documents since you got married and especially since you became a permanent resident.

[parker101 1]

As soon as the divorce is final you can apply to remove the conditions; but like v333k say you need to have evidence of you entered in good faith marriage (very important). you can not stay with somebody that you are having problem with; this is not physically and emotionally good for you, I do not rullout marriage conseling. Once again welcome and good luck people here are very helpful.

[monihar78 2]

thanks all for the reply..... i can have evidences like pics, bank accounts , utility biills, phone bills, club memberships etc etc but no apartment leases with both names, mortages......... but may not be any writeouts from her. These evidences had my name lot before we went for the AOS interview......these were the evidences we showed at the interview too.

my gc expires on march,2011. i dnt know whether i can stay that long or not as its becoming hard each & every day. i sleep on the couch most of the days to avoid the mental wars. She kind of rules in her house.

What according to VJ ers is my chance for getting approved for unconditional Gc with this kind of evidences ? should i go for a divorce or annulment now or not ....

thanks again

Edited February 18, 2010 by monihar78

[nigel 7]

wow sounds like my wife...

Ok My Advise to you is... if you can try and work things out with her or if not be nice to her for a little longer.

Work extra hrs if you can and stay out her way and stay cool by keeping your mouth shut again just a little longer..

who knows maybe you guys can work this out and get over this problem and if not then at least you by then would have removed conditions,

then you can both move Forward.

I have'nt looked into this what ive read and maybe of some interest to youself in your situation

But anyways i took this off the uscis website...

________________________________________________________________________

If you are no longer married to your spouse, or if you have been battered or abused by your spouse, you can apply to waive the joint filing requirement. In such cases, you may apply to remove the conditions on your permanent residence any time after you become a conditional resident, but before you are removed from the country.

________________________________________________________________________

Best wishes

[*julez* 124]

Move to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits as this is the more apllicable forum.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

thanks all for the reply..... i can have evidences like pics, bank accounts , utility biills, phone bills, club memberships etc etc but no apartment leases with both names, mortages......... but may not be any writeouts from her. These evidences had my name lot before we went for the AOS interview......these were the evidences we showed at the interview too.

my gc expires on march,2011. i dnt know whether i can stay that long or not as its becoming hard each & every day. i sleep on the couch most of the days to avoid the mental wars. She kind of rules in her house.

What according to VJ ers is my chance for getting approved for unconditional Gc with this kind of evidences ? should i go for a divorce or annulment now or not ....

thanks again

The legal mumbo jumbo is that you have to file to remove conditions on your green card in the 90 day period before it expires, and that you have to do so jointly with your wife. Unfortunately, it would only take one disparaging comment from your wife at the interview to shoot down your petition, which puts you entirely at her mercy if you decide to follow this route. Fortunately, the law provides an alternative - you can ask for a waiver of the joint filing requirement, and self-petition to remove conditions on your green card without any cooperation from your wife. You have to be a person of good moral character (no trouble with the police), prove you married in good faith and not for immigration benefits, and you must be divorced. The waiver won't be approved until you can submit a copy of your divorce decree.

You have a year before your conditional green card expires. That may or may not be enough time to finish a divorce, depending on the state you live in and whether your wife decides to fight you on the divorce. Some states have a policy that a divorce won't be granted until the couple have been legally separated for 1 year. Even in a "no fault" divorce state without the 1 year separation requirement, if one party decides to fight the divorce then they can hold up the process at every step of the way, dragging it out for several years.

You should not postpone filing the I-751 at the appropriate time, even if the divorce isn't final yet. Go ahead and submit the I-751 without the divorce decree. When USCIS gets around to adjudicating it (6 to 9 months later) they'll send you an RFE for the divorce decree. Hopefully, you'll have it by then. If not, they'll probably start removal proceedings against you, but you can ask the immigration judge to postpone the proceedings until your divorce is completed. Immigration judges will usually grant these requests.

When someone enters the US on a tourist visa, one of the things the US government worries about is that they may use that opportunity to enter into a fraudulent marriage with a US citizen, and then stay in the US and apply for a green card. This constitutes a form of visa fraud, where a non-immigrant visa is used for immigration purposes. I'm sure this is one of the factors that USCIS considered when they were adjudicating your petition for the conditional green card. Apparently, they were satisfied at the time that you didn't enter the US with the intention of getting married and filing for a green card. If you self-petition to have the conditions removed based on divorce, USCIS may decide to go back and take another look at your intentions when you entered the US to see if there's any evidence the marriage was planned before you entered. This means they may conduct an investigation which they didn't do when you first applied for your green card. If they find any evidence that the marriage was planned before you entered (e.g., any arrangements or reservations made before you arrived), then your green card will be revoked, and you'll be deported for visa fraud with a lifetime ban from the US. I'm not saying that this WILL happen. I'm only saying that the circumstances around how you initially got your green card - entering on a tourist visa and marrying a US citizen - MIGHT mean your self-petition will be subject to more scrutiny. This is something you may want to consider while you're gathering your evidence of good faith marriage.

[Dakine 26]

Bend her over and take over!

She CAN"T deport you. Why hold bacK?

Edited February 18, 2010 by Dakine

[*julez* 124]

Bend her over and take over!

She CAN"T deport you. Why hold bacK?

Wow. This is excellent advice if you want to ensure that that OP will have an unsuccessful solo removal of conditions.

[Dakine 26]

"Bend her over and take over"!

She CAN"T deport you. Why hold bacK?

Wow. This is excellent advice if you want to ensure that that OP will have an unsuccessful solo removal of conditions.

She is highly controlling, wont let me go anywhere, i am allowed no friends, threatens, have to do things her way, cannot talk too much to my parents, I have to do all the hard works at home while she sits and orders, cannot go out of the house, cannot go for my career and go the way she wants me to, she controls all my money and i cannot spend anything. I cannot sleep at night and always stay afraid.

OP must have wanted a GC BIGTIME even to marry her.

[nigel 7]

Wow. This is excellent advice if you want to ensure that that OP will have an unsuccessful solo removal of conditions.

Well Duck Tape and zip ties comes to my Mind ....That's before i Bend her Over..

[ziia 9]

She is highly controlling, wont let me go anywhere, i am allowed no friends, threatens, have to do things her way, cannot talk too much to my parents, I have to do all the hard works at home while she sits and orders, cannot go out of the house, cannot go for my career and go the way she wants me to, she controls all my money and i cannot spend anything. I cannot sleep at night and always stay afraid.

OP must have wanted a GC BIGTIME even to marry her.

I was just thinking of that...I also wonder, where do you find these people? lol All I hear is abuse abuse abuse and yet we live in a country where is the lest abuse out of all countries. I mean you lift a finger onto someone here, you go straight to jail. God, even if you grab someone and they don't want that, all you have to do is call the cops and they take care of the matter. I sit and wonder everyday, who these abusers are and if they live in the same country i live in? No one can abuse you mentally without your approval. I don't get this "he/she won't let me have friends, career etc"? I mean what is she gonna do? Stand in your way at the door with a broom to hit ya? Handcuff you to her hand? You can ALWAYS DO FREELY WHATEVER YOU WANT! You want a job, go get one, you want friends, go make friends. If she locks you out, call the cops as you have the right to be in that house just as much as she does. If she gets rough with you physically, again, call the cops. If she says no to something you gotta do and talk won't work(explain to her you're doing it for both of your sake and to help out), go do it anyway! I mean, seriously. No wonder mental abuse is hard to prove in court. If you ask me there is no such a thing, like i said, unless YOU permit it. Even the papers for GC...they are YOUR petitions, not hers. As long as you are in a marriage with her, YOU can file your own papers and start learning to be self sufficient and help yourself instead of waiting for others to do things for you. If she divorces you, then she's not really an abuser, is she? Everyone knows a person who abuses is also extremely controlling and live on a power trip. So, even if she does divorce you, let her and you figure things out as they come. There is no longer a wonder to me why the rate of divorces have skyrocketed to 50%. It seems to me like everyone is more focused on how to "protect" themselves than how to make things work and be self sufficient and respect one another, treat each other with kindness and all that. Now, the immigrant focuses more on abuse and timing and the USC focuses on money and affidavits. It's all good to use your brain too but don't be surprised your marriage is falling apart because of the lack of emotions and heart people should put into it to make it work.

I don't deny there are real abusers out there and abused. But if a marriage is REAL, these are the steps a genuine person would follow:

1. Call the cops when abuse happens

2. Get a divorce if things are really bad and marriage is not salvageable

and

then

3. Come here, telling you are divorced and what should you do about your papers.

Anything other than that is seeking your interest and your "perfect" timing on when you should get a divorce and that, to me at least shreds away any possibility of a genuine person who is actually abused or really lives under extreme hardship conditions. This to me is no different than some posters here who cry 2 weeks into the marriage that they are abused and yet found another to marry once they divorce their ugly fat lazy abusive husband they married for "love".

Whatever you do, good luck to you! You have to be stronger though to make it in this country, spouse or no spouse. Just my thoughts here.

Edited February 19, 2010 by ziia

[monihar78 2]

First of all to ZIIA, i do not have anyone else to get married and I am married to her almost over 2 years now. She wasnt like this when we dated and got married. It started much much later. Plus she has hidden a lot of things from me which if i knew before marriage i wont ever have done this. At one time when i was waiting for the AOS interview results I was almost on the verge of going back leaving usa. Now that I have a good job and I am going for my masters I really want to make my career.

As JIMVAPHOUNG said my self-petition will be subject to more scrutiny. I am a bit concerned about that. Though there is nothing to hide and I am 200% sure even if they scrutinize they wont find anything. BUt then i dnt know how the mind of those USCIS officers work ! thing is staying with her is becoming hard and hard everyday. I am trying to learn driving but she really dont want it. The lack of friends and everything is killing me everyday. I guess i have to talk to a immigration lawyer and a divorce lawyer at the same time and may be let them talk between each other. how much would a divorce cost ...........any idea ? Thanks

[monihar78 2]

Evidences as joint bank account, joint club membership, joint mortgage, joint health insurance, joint ownership of car, a letter from her that marriage waqs entered into good faith and love but now our life and goals seems to be on differen paths . Would these help at all ?

[HopefulEnd 1]

Dear Members,

i was looking for my answer in google and found this wonderful forum and registered to become a family here.

I am married to my wife(USC), for almost 2 yrs now and i have my 2 yr permanent residence here which would expire next year.

Now things have changed a lot in between us since time we dated and got married. I am facing mental and psyological trauma since almost one and half years now. She is highly controlling, wont let me go anywhere, i am allowed no friends, threatens, have to do things her way, cannot talk too much to my parents, I have to do all the hard works at home while she sits and orders, cannot go out of the house, cannot go for my career and go the way she wants me to, she controls all my money and i cannot spend anything. I cannot sleep at night and always stay afraid.

I have decided to go out of this marriage someway. Now I know that i have to show that i am still married when i would apply for the ten year green card.. But i read that I have to show that this marriage was entered into good intention, which is true. I came in tourist visa twice, 2nd time we got married couple days before i had to leave and i stayed back.

Now what do VJ ers advice what should i do ? should i delay my divorce till my 2 yr residency expiration? or what should i show as evidence of good intention. We have pics, joint a/cs, joint utility etc etc. I have no idea whether she would write for me or not that it was entered into good intention... i can try though. WHich would be the best way to go ?? please advice ........ i am literally confused and lost. I have a very good job and career here which i really dont to spoil and go back home.

Thanks

Monihar,

I'm glad I found your post. I am sorry to hear you are going through this hard time - I know someone who sounds to be in the same position as you. Wife is controlling, wants to pick fights all the time, etc. Based on what you said, I dont believe you married her for the greencard. You, like this person I know, seem to be married to someone who has hidden their true colors very well.

Anyway, it is close to time for him to remove conditions and she seems to want to hardball - wants to give him a hard time every step of the way. I don't believe that she will be willing to file the joint petition, but wants to make his life as impossible as much as she can. Some of the posters have given you some good advice - if you can keep the peace for a little longer, than it may be best for you in the long run. If not, a waiver of the I-751 petition based on good faith marriage is always an option. Remember to gather evidence though.

But before you take action either way, please think carefully about what you want to do. Sometimes when the wheels have been set into motion, it is very hard to stop or roll back. I am sure you didn't enter into the marriage lightly, and I am sure you won't divorce her lightly either.

Best of luck to you,

HopefulEnd