Just a little worried.

[jake8587 0]

Hello all,

I hoping that someone will be able to suggest something to help both my fiancee and soon to be step son adjust to there new life in the states. I have filed ( NOV 2009) for a K-1 visa for the both of them and we all are waiting on the Vermont Service Center to do something/anything. My step son will be 6 when we move back to VA, his mother speaks english well ( of course she does not think so ) however my step son is just learning. I know she is very worried about how both he and herself will adjust to their new life in the states. My step son is VERY close with his grand mother and aunt and Natasha and I are worried about how he will cope with the move. So any suggestion on moving to the states with a young child? Anyone from VA?

Thanks for any help

Jake, Natasha, and Matvei

[Turboguy 6]

At 6 a kids brain is like a sponge. He will learn English in no time and by the time he is 8 he will have less of an accent than your wife does if any accent at all. A move like that is tough on anyone but he will be fine.

[Martyshk 137]

At 6 a kids brain is like a sponge. He will learn English in no time and by the time he is 8 he will have less of an accent than your wife does if any accent at all. A move like that is tough on anyone but he will be fine.

Kid won't have an accent. He might forget Russian altogether at that age too.

To OP: do not worry about the kid, he'll adjust in no time. There's really not a lot of advice people can give you. Everyone has to go through it themselves, because everything is individual. All you can do is support your wife and step-son each and every step of the way

[baron555 934]

Hello all,

I hoping that someone will be able to suggest something to help both my fiancee and soon to be step son adjust to there new life in the states. I have filed ( NOV 2009) for a K-1 visa for the both of them and we all are waiting on the Vermont Service Center to do something/anything. My step son will be 6 when we move back to VA, his mother speaks english well ( of course she does not think so ) however my step son is just learning. I know she is very worried about how both he and herself will adjust to their new life in the states. My step son is VERY close with his grand mother and aunt and Natasha and I are worried about how he will cope with the move. So any suggestion on moving to the states with a young child? Anyone from VA?

Thanks for any help

Jake, Natasha, and Matvei

The other kids will help him and most likely treat him like a celebrity. He will have no problems.

[jake8587 0]

Thanks everyone!

OK, I have one more question for you. I have been supporting my sister and her two children while I have been in Afghanistan and claiming them on my taxes. The question is should I include them on the I-134 paper work?

Edited February 17, 2010 by jake8587

[baron555 934]

Thanks everyone!

OK, I have one more question for you. I have been supporting my sister and her two children while I have been in Afghanistan and claiming them on my taxes. The question is should I include them on the I-134 paper work?

Are they are legally your dependents? If so, then yes.

If they are just your "temporary" private dependents, then no.

Edited February 17, 2010 by baron555

[slim 1,523]

I believe if you've claimed them on your taxes then you're obligated to call them your dependents. However, if that places you under the 125% for I-134 purposes with your fiancee and step son too, you're going to have to include an addendum explaining that you're only temporarily caring for them or since you now have CZTE and/or HFP you're "helping out" and will be caring for only two dependents instead of five once you all arrive in the States.

Paint the picture that you're "helping out" while getting extra cash but will be taking care of YOUR dependents once you're all living together in the States.

[jake8587 0]

Yes, I have only been letting my sister and her two children stay in my home while I am working in Afghanistan. Once Natasha and Matvei get their visa's we will move back to the states. I will only then be taking care of the three of us. So I think I should add a addenment explaining that I was just caring for them while I was out of the country and will only be taking care of the three of us from then on. Right?

[slim 1,523]

Sounds about right. Also, you can include tax info for the past THREE years and you can tell the entire story of why it appears how it appears right now.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Hello all,

I hoping that someone will be able to suggest something to help both my fiancee and soon to be step son adjust to there new life in the states. I have filed ( NOV 2009) for a K-1 visa for the both of them and we all are waiting on the Vermont Service Center to do something/anything. My step son will be 6 when we move back to VA, his mother speaks english well ( of course she does not think so ) however my step son is just learning. I know she is very worried about how both he and herself will adjust to their new life in the states. My step son is VERY close with his grand mother and aunt and Natasha and I are worried about how he will cope with the move. So any suggestion on moving to the states with a young child? Anyone from VA?

Thanks for any help

Jake, Natasha, and Matvei

Our sons are 19 and 15 (now). Sergey (19) spoke English like he was born in Kansas, so he was not a problem. Alla speks English very well (she is student teaching English now in getting her teaching degree) but the youngest, Pasha, spoke almost no English when we decided to move. we got him a tutor for 3 days per week for 9 months before he came and then got him in an ESL program at his school. They arrived just before the school year started and by Christmas he was out of the ESL program and had been double promoted from 8th grade to 10th grade, finished his school year 4 weeks in advance (he had worked ahead in his books) and ended up 5th in his class for English...2 grade levelks ahead of where he should be. He has a 3.93 grade point average...and he is the "dumb" one.

A 6 year old should have no trouble at all with learning the language. get them involved with other activities, rather than just school. Playgroups, etc. Check outwhat is available. The more time they spend with other kids, the better off they are. Pasha was on the basketball team, softball team, now is in the ski program and will begin playing lacross soon. The more they are with their peers, they more they learn the language. As a side benefit, though Alla and Sergey spoke very good "proper" English, neither had knowledge of "slang and idioms" . Pasha knows all that stuff.

I also worked every night for a couple months as his tutor when he arrived, by Christmas he had little need for help with his homework anymore. As far as the personal impact of moving away from Babushka, everyone handles that differently. We keep the calling card charged up and Pasha can call Babushka anytime he wants, he usually calls her at least once a week (She lived across the street from our place in Donetsk and spent most days at our flat, so her and the boys are close)

I do not "brush off" what is ahead...it is a lot of work and you will be busier than you ever were in your life, so get ready. But the child is going to do just fine. Pasha got right in with the other kids immediately and within a couple weeks was getting invited to parties, dances, etc. Next month he can get hois drivers permit and he will be the 3rd one I am teaching to drive. we have a blast with Pasha, I do anyway. Just keep them busy doing stuff and you will be their friend and mentor and "go to guy" and have a lot of fun yourself.

You have a lot of work ahead of you, but a lot of good times also. If you can make caring for your family and the child your FUN in life, you will be a very happy guy, and let me tell you, there is NOTHING you can do for an Ukrainian woman that will please her and make her respect you more, than care about the children...you will be "gold".

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Yes, I have only been letting my sister and her two children stay in my home while I am working in Afghanistan. Once Natasha and Matvei get their visa's we will move back to the states. I will only then be taking care of the three of us. So I think I should add a addenment explaining that I was just caring for them while I was out of the country and will only be taking care of the three of us from then on. Right?

IF your sisters were included on your most recent tax return as dependents then you need an explanation why they would not be in the future. If they are US citizens, adults, then they do not HAVE to be dependents now, just because they were last year, but you need to explain why. My guess is, if you are working overseas, your income will not be an issue anyway.

[SunDrop 59]

On the moving with a kid subject, I'm doing the same, although mine is older (she'll be nearly 11 when we move). I moved several times as a kid, when I was 6, again at 10 and again at 16.

What I remember of the move when I was 6 was sheer excitement! It was a massive adventure, although I remember being a little scared starting in a new school. I didn't have the language issue with school, but I was in a foreign country and still speak it fluently. No recollection of learning it, either.

It will only take him a couple of months to really understand English and not much more than that to speak it. He won't have an accent because of how he's learnt it.

Can you send any DVDs or VHS of kids shows? I must have learnt my French from watching TV and playing with kids on the street, because we only spoke English at home. His mom could start teaching him simple words and phrases for his needs or common objects. Use a sticker chart for rewards, giving him a sticker for every time he uses a word in English. Makes the prospect of learning it fun.

Talk to the school he'll be going to find out how they help ESL kids integrate, I'm sure they could help you with some worksheets. Also send him some story books that his mom and he can read together, that are at beginner reading level 'This is John. That is Jane. See John and Jane play." That kind of level.

See if you can find colleagues or friends who have kids of a similiar age and fix some play dates. It'll be helpful for his Mom to meet other moms too. Find out what kids his age are playing with and make sure you have some for him when he arrives.

Make sticky labels for things in his room when you're getting it ready. Labels for everything in the house in english (door, sink, mirror, fridge, stove, hot, cold, window, closet, lamp, cookie jar) and you can turn it into a game, fixing the right labels to stuff. Say the word, get him to repeat it and let him stick it on.

I'll hit my mum up for some more ideas about helping with language learning - she's an ESL teacher.

As for being homesick, it's inevitable. He'll probably go through a phase of wanting to go home now, but with school, new friends and an active social life, he should have a great time and quickly adjust. It's all about talking it up before he gets there, about things that are deliverable (you'll meet another little boy called Fred. He likes playing with xyz toys too!) but also giving him (them both!) room to feel sad about leaving everyone behind. Reassure him that he'll still be able to talk to his close relatives and how much they'll enjoy hearing about his new adventures in America.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Kid won't have an accent. He might forget Russian altogether at that age too.

To OP: do not worry about the kid, he'll adjust in no time. There's really not a lot of advice people can give you. Everyone has to go through it themselves, because everything is individual. All you can do is support your wife and step-son each and every step of the way

I would encourage you to continue his education and prficiency of Russian. Every man should be comfortable in at least two languages, it is just one of those things that makes life more enjoyable.

[jake8587 0]

WOW, thanks for all the GREAT advice!

I have sent him work books to help him with his english, he is actualy teaching Russian. He can count to 12 in english and higher if coached, just the other night he helped me remember how to count to 12. OH my Russian is so bad!!!!! Me and his mother agree that she will speak Russian with him at home and I will speak english with him. My sister's daughter is the same age so I greatful the he will have someone to play with right away. The funny thing is Morgan (sister;s daughter) is very excited to be learing Russian. Thanks again for all the advise I was begining to worry. Now if the VSC would just get going and approve our petition! I can hardly wait to together with them both again! Waiting SUCKS!!!!!! Poka!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

WOW, thanks for all the GREAT advice!

I have sent him work books to help him with his english, he is actualy teaching Russian. He can count to 12 in english and higher if coached, just the other night he helped me remember how to count to 12. OH my Russian is so bad!!!!! Me and his mother agree that she will speak Russian with him at home and I will speak english with him. My sister's daughter is the same age so I greatful the he will have someone to play with right away. The funny thing is Morgan (sister;s daughter) is very excited to be learing Russian. Thanks again for all the advise I was begining to worry. Now if the VSC would just get going and approve our petition! I can hardly wait to together with them both again! Waiting SUCKS!!!!!! Poka!

I agree about speaking Russian at home. Some people advise against this, however we found that Pasha gets SO much exposure to English it seemed to do him no harm to take a "rest" from it at home. Now, it really doesn't seem to matter much as he handles English fine. I understand the need to immerse them in English but when the child (or other person) has plenty of exposure to "language 2" it seems OK to give them a little break.