Homesickness

[Y&E 12]

I was wondering if anyone else has experienced (or your SO) a similar situation to what I'm experiencing right now and can offer some words of wisdom / advice.

The background is: I'm a dual NZ / British Citizen. I grew up in NZ and I currently live in the UK. I'm also an only child. My parents currently live in HK and my fiance is the USC.

I just spent 2 weeks visiting with my parents in HK and I've come back and I'm increadibly homesick for them and NZ or even HK. Now I'm questioning whether I even want to move to the US. Y is trying to be supportive and he only wants me to be happy but right now I don't know what I want and I feel really stupid and sad. I do love Y and I do want to be with him but I feel thyat I need to be close to my parents in the long-run because they will eventually need me.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

Thanks for any replies :-)

E

[Nagishkaw 510]

Topic moved from Off Topic to Regional Discussion United Kingdom

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=241813

[Amanda and Tony 0]

I was wondering if anyone else has experienced (or your SO) a similar situation to what I'm experiencing right now and can offer some words of wisdom / advice.

The background is: I'm a dual NZ / British Citizen. I grew up in NZ and I currently live in the UK. I'm also an only child. My parents currently live in HK and my fiance is the USC.

I just spent 2 weeks visiting with my parents in HK and I've come back and I'm increadibly homesick for them and NZ or even HK. Now I'm questioning whether I even want to move to the US. Y is trying to be supportive and he only wants me to be happy but right now I don't know what I want and I feel really stupid and sad. I do love Y and I do want to be with him but I feel thyat I need to be close to my parents in the long-run because they will eventually need me.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

Thanks for any replies :-)

E

Hi E,

It is hard living away from family. I always feel incredibly homesick after a visit home and it takes me a couple of weeks to adjust. It is a big step to immigrate and you do sacrifice a lot to do so.

I've lived in the US on and off since 2002 but now that i've immigrated it is different. I always new that i had a return flight at the end of each year worked and now I don't have that and the feeling that I don't know when I'll see my family again does worry me. But on a positive note, I'm with my husband and I know it's where I'm meant to be. I skype, call and text with my family and friends and I'm fortunate to keep "flight" money in my savings account just incase.

At the end of the day only you can decide if it's what you really want but my thoughts to you is don't make a decision right now while you're still so homesick...give it a couple of weeks and see if you feel differently.

I wish you well

Amanda

[Krikit 1,165]

I think you're very wise, and brave, to question the move. Lord knows, so many of us have. Homesickness is a very painful emotion. I will warn you that it will intensify once you are here and dealing with the adjustment. It took me a good year to settle down, and then another year to feel I was "home". But you never get over missing your loved ones and your former home. It will hit you out of the blue and you won't even see it coming. The nice thing is that it lessens with time and you learn how to deal with it.

If I honestly had to do it all again..... knowing what I know now.... I would not have made the move. While I love my husband and my new home and friends, I miss my family and my former life terribly. I guess my thoughts to you would be to imagine yourself in the situation and really feel how that may affect you. Weigh your options from every angle. This is a very important decision which will have a huge impact on everyone involved. I wish you peace.

Sorry, Nagi, but I am going to move the thread from the UK Regional forum to the Moving to America forum..... since there are a number of other threads along the same topic and because it will get a much broader input.

[tom&tata 2]

Definitely can relate.

I actually move permanently almost 6 months after I got the visa. I felt I needed time because I am very close to my family (my parents & my siblings & nephew). I actually broke down 2 nights before I move & my parents were kinda shocked & had to reassure me that they will be fine & I will be fine after the move. But the whole 6 months I was getting ready to move, I always questioned whether this is the right move or not. We love each other but when you have to decide, you felt like you were choosing your spouse over your family. And actually, nobody ever said that I choose my husband over my family - I just had the thought myself.

I've lived abroad before for school & work, but I know I can always decide to hop on plane & move back. This time it is permanent. Although I would not be alone here, the "permanent" part of it scared me a lot more than I anticipated.

I still have the homesickness - I don't know if it gets better or it feels better now that I know how to handle it. The first year I said a lot of "You didn't know how it feels to pack up & move half way accross the world" to my husband a lot. I just noticed as I am writing I haven't been using that sentence that much lately (I have been here almost 4 years). My husbands understands more about the homesickness does help too.

Good luck on your journey.

[Gemmie 142]

It's natural to have doubts and worries about how the homesickness will affect you, and it differs from person to person. I've had people tell me they could NEVER get used to the feeling, and I know others that handle it well.

Personally, I felt isolated and depressed for a while once the reality of my new life hit me and I was unable to do the things I used to... being away from my friends was the hardest part, as we used to live together. But once I went back to my home country for a visit after being gone for 7 months, coming back to the US felt good. I feel that neither country is my true "home" at the moment, as I'm lacking something in both, but I have a real chance to make this one my home and be with my husband at the same time.

[Y&E 12]

Thank you everyone for replying. I certainly have a lot to think about.

Best wishes,

E