How do you find your strength?

[Yasi 0]

Pray a lot... Talk to friends and family. Some days are harder than others. The fear the anxiety gets to me so bad that I can't sleep or eat.

The fear of never getting an answer. The anxiety of not being able to see him and be close to him.

Coming to VJ helps a lot of times... Then there are times that I'm depress and envious. I truly am happy for all of you who have your interviews coming up or got your visas. I say this from bottom of my heart.

I just think to myself why ours not moving along or maybe God doesn't want this for us.

Sorry to be negative and bring you guys down. This has been a though journey. I never loved another as much as I love him. He is good man.

Edited July 30, 2006 by Yasi

[Nagishkaw 510]

Why, I just talk to YOU. You have a way of making me feel better.

You are the best, Miss Jean !

[Together4ever 1]

bring some back for everyone meriem!

jean you gotta be careful make sure to down a lot of water when you drink those meals, pre-packeged foods are chuck full of salt and preservatives and that salt holds onto water weight!

Yep, I noticed that. Puffy fingers. Dammit. Can't win. I was thinking about this just last night. Keep it to lunches and stay away from them for dinner (even though they're easy). I'm going to make a pot of soup today that I can graze on for dinner during the week. Seems to work better. Thanks for the advice!

bring some back for everyone meriem!

jean you gotta be careful make sure to down a lot of water when you drink those meals, pre-packeged foods are chuck full of salt and preservatives and that salt holds onto water weight!

Oh yes! Those meals I had to finally give up. I notice every time I ate them I would be farting for hours. Those painful ones! Must be the preservatives or something in them. Felt like I was going to deliver something every time I ate one.

Oh my!

Pray a lot... Talk to friends and family. Some days are harder than others. The fear the anxiety gets to me so bad that I can't sleep or eat.

The fear of never getting an answer. The anxiety of not being able to see him and be close to him.

Coming to VJ helps a lot of times... Then there are times that I'm depress and envious. I truly am happy for all of you who have your interviews coming up or got your visas. I say this from bottom of my heart.

I just think to myself why ours not moving along or maybe God doesn't want this for us.

Sorry to be negative and bring you guys down. This has been a though journey. I never loved another as much as I love him. He is good man.

Oh boy can I relate to your words. I think we ALL can. Don't worry about bringing anyone down. You need to vent and all of us here certainly understand what you are feeling. We're here for you!

[Yasi 0]

Oh boy can I relate to your words. I think we ALL can. Don't worry about bringing anyone down. You need to vent and all of us here certainly understand what you are feeling. We're here for you!

Thanks Jean. That means a lot.

Now I want chocolate too... He sent me some from Germany but I never got them.... They confiscated them.... ha ha ha

[Together4ever 1]

Confiscated chocolate??? From a FEMALE???? Ooooooh, that's what I call walking the edge!

[Yasi 0]

Confiscated chocolate??? From a FEMALE???? Ooooooh, that's what I call walking the edge!

Yeap... they don't know chocolates are a woman's best friend....AND they're the GOOD KINDS...dark chocolate w/hazelnut....yumm

[Together4ever 1]

*mourns*

[chiquita 0]

Coping and waiting, two words I do not like but I have been forced to live the past 2 1/2 years!

For us it was being able to talk via the net (cam & voice). If we didnt have that I am not sure how we would have done.

In the beginning we coped because we knew someday we would get to be togther, oh perhaps inside of a year after filing was my guess-timate.

Then the big day came. And the big day was a huge let down. I went and stayed with my husband for a month after the interview trying to get the denial from the consulate reversed. Lol, that was a useless joke, ie dealing with the consulate. I sent letters and e mails to anyone and everyone. No one could help us.

After my return to the states I worked feverishly and relentlessly on over coming what we knew not. I was so busy with work and research that the days seemed to go by much more quickly.

We still spent endless hours on line talking and just seeing each other on cam. Once again without the net I am sure the waiting would have been so much more difficlut.

I did not find much solace anywhere except with my husband. Everyone was so supportive and sympathic in family and groups but for some reason that did not console me much. The same can be said of my husband.

We took it day by day. If I was working my husband many a day would be sitting in a caffe on line when I arrived home from work. Some days we chatted before I went to work. We were in contact every single day. Living our life via the net is what we did. Sounds weird I know but that is what we did. We discussed everything togther as if we were physically together. Made decisions togther. This was our life. He was not some distant man I loved, he was my husband everyday even though we were separated by the Atlantic ocean.

Ahhh those moments are what gave us a strong marriage. I think of other couples who are separtated and I know the longing to be together, the heartache of being separated , the joy of seeing his face each day. It is possible to endure the wait, albeit stressful. Hang in there and be good to each other!

chi

[Together4ever 1]

Chi,

I'm sitting here all teared up. Even though we did not go through what you did (and I am still white knuckling that we don't) or for as long, its the same for us with how we try to carry on our life together. Every day sitting infront of this wretched machine until we both have sworn we won't touch the thing after we are reunited.

Did you find yourself getting frustrated with the telephone and internet? We sure do. There are nights we both want to just throw things because of "What? What did you say? Voice is breaking. I can't hear you. *click*.... *ring*... "Welcome back honey. What? What?... Honey i said welcome back..."

All we want is normalicy... and the normalicy we are afforded is nuts. We always say we are thankful to have at least that much, but we're exhausted from it.

I'm so happy this part of your journey is finally nearing its conclusion. I am praying it does for those waiting very soon too.

[Bosco 1]

I tried to focus on the things I would be doing less of once my husband arrived. I focused a lot on my daughter - knowing that while the change would be good - our little coccoon of it just being me and her would soon change. I would think "this will probably be the last time you and her do this alone because next year he will join us", and it made those moments special.

Most of us experience seeing our friends less after marriage. Meet for the coffees and long chats. Splurge on yourself a little if you husband is a bit of a tightwad

Think about the changes (and while most will be good) enjoy the things that you may be doing less of or will be doing differently.

[Visa4habibi! 0]

I'll put my two cents in too. Dont' know if anyone will read it since you started this topic 2 days ago. But here:

1). Take one day at a time! - that's the best one!

2). Pray a lot, which i do.

3). Mint tea and pressure cooker, lol.Mint helps not only for dygestive system, but calms you down a little. I got my pressure cooker after my 2nd visit and some spices. Whenever i miss him - i cook moroccan food and make mint tea - i have lots of mint in my backyard! Mint came with the house, how funny is that?

4). Can't chat with him even once a month, so i call at least once a week.

5). If i can't call him - i have lots of pictures and letters. Read my letters and listen to the audio tape we've made together just talking about stuff and making each other laugh.

6). I read cards if you know what i mean. Where i'm from it's almost a custom. It's my substitute for shrink and anti-depressants. Maybe i'm not so good at this, but it helps even though it's not always true, but who cares, right?

7). Reading VJ posts actually helps but sometimes it does the opposite, lilke this post, lol. But then again, it still helps.

Thank you, guys.

Tanya

[Visa4habibi! 0]

Oh yeah! i forgot to mention 2 other things.

8). I have cats

9). I started crosheting again

[morocco4ever 63]

We took it day by day. If I was working my husband many a day would be sitting in a caffe on line when I arrived home from work.

chi

OMG, I forget, so many of these men have to go to internet cafes to chat! I am so lucky, shortly after I met my husband he bought a computer. We both get online right after we wake up, and stay on until we sleep at night. I'm so sorry to hear that some of you don't have this luxury....I admire your strength!

I should point out, we don't sit and chat the entire time, we come and go as we please. Works beautifully for us!

Edited July 30, 2006 by Morocco4ever

[Yasi 0]

I'll put my two cents in too. Dont' know if anyone will read it since you started this topic 2 days ago. But here:

1). Take one day at a time! - that's the best one!

2). Pray a lot, which i do.

3). Mint tea and pressure cooker, lol.Mint helps not only for dygestive system, but calms you down a little. I got my pressure cooker after my 2nd visit and some spices. Whenever i miss him - i cook moroccan food and make mint tea - i have lots of mint in my backyard! Mint came with the house, how funny is that?

4). Can't chat with him even once a month, so i call at least once a week.

5). If i can't call him - i have lots of pictures and letters. Read my letters and listen to the audio tape we've made together just talking about stuff and making each other laugh.

6). I read cards if you know what i mean. Where i'm from it's almost a custom. It's my substitute for shrink and anti-depressants. Maybe i'm not so good at this, but it helps even though it's not always true, but who cares, right?

7). Reading VJ posts actually helps but sometimes it does the opposite, lilke this post, lol. But then again, it still helps.

Thank you, guys.

Tanya

My best friend's mother reads coffee cups... she has read mine several times she keeps telling me he is coming soon...

I agreee reading VJ posts help sometimes... I pray A lOT too...

Yasi

[Together4ever 1]

Why, I just talk to YOU. You have a way of making me feel better.

You are the best, Miss Jean !

Aww geesh! I didn't even see this! Thanks to YOU too!