Yardies a home and a farrin (Part 23)

[Shemmy 4]

I think I am a pretty nice baby mama as well.

I am civil with my daughter's dad. I try not to interact too much with him becuase I know he is an alcoholic and a liar....however.... I was also very happy when he married and step mom is awesome. We get along like me and any of my friends and my daughter LOVES her... She always made me feel safe to send my daughter to their home.

Now... they are getting a divorce. My daughter still will go visit step mom - she will always be a 2nd mom to Tierra.

Me too. I am very understanding. My EX wasn't a prize anyway. She used to say all this crazy stuff about me and guess what??? It came back 20x. I've always kept my cool and played the nice one.

My daughter always loved her and I respected that. They are divorced now they are still close. She wants to take her prom dress shopping which I have no problems with.

[JQ Smiley BOOM 3]

Okay, mine is 85 and she is sharp as a tac!

I have a great grandma that is still alive

This is her with me and my hubby for the Welcome to America party Oct 09

95 baby :dance: :dance:

[Thompson2 1]

The main problem is us not being able to raise her properly. We can't even afford a big enough place to have a room for her. I wish I could bring her here on the K-2 but it's approaching so fast & it's so complicated with her being on another island & in school that I just don't know how we could manage it. We'd have to find a new, bigger (& MUCH more expensive place) on my salary in just a few months & file for her. Only a miracle would make that happen & I don't foresee any good job prospects any time soon. All that aside, I'd still want to know. Her Mom is shady & has 2 more kids from different guys so she's just looking for handouts wherever she can get them & she did a lot of bullying of hubby to take the meager $$ he earned. Here's where I get HOT! Instead of breathing down his neck when work was slow & threatening to take him to court, she could've left him alone so he was able to start getting his education in JA. The dumb ####### screwed herself because it's gonna be a looooong time before he can work here since he's learning to read now. If she'd let him get started there, maybe he would've been in a better position to come here & start working & taking the test to get a driver's license. No matter, his Mom has his daughter so she gets NOTHING even when he does start to work!

YES!

Thank you! And I'm glad you understand. I realize we aren't the only couple facing huge obstacles but, it's 10 times harder when your partner doesn't have the education/skills to land a job or get a driver's license when they get here. Not to say he can't get a job, but he'll never get a decent one that can make ends meet in one of the most expensive cities in the U.S. We have a crappy, tiny azz apartment & pay nearly $1000 a month for it! If we want a 1 bedroom, we're looking at at least $1200 & if we want a 2 bedroom, it's around $1600+ a month. Impossible to do on a single crappy salary. Then to bring in a child, beyond impossible.

There is enough of a question as to who the real father is that I don't think I'm unreasonable in wanting to know for sure. My hubby is the kind that people will take advantage of his kindness. I'm not so much that way. And I'm also not willing to raise a child that isn't his biologically. I was set on 'no' for having kids before meeting him & it's only because he wants a child that I've compromised & agreed that we can try in the future. Seeing that I barely want one of my own, why would I want to adopt? It's not for everyone & I don't feel bad about being one of those people that isn't crazy about wanting children.

I agree, Libras ARE nice! My hubby's one too.

Aww you married a libra too? They are sweeties!!

I agree with you on this about hubby's daughter. Plus she is with her grandma, so she is in good hands and you said she is doing great in school so it sounds like staying there is a good idea. Grandma has no concerns about if it's her sons or has she had her so long now that she is attached and it doesn't even enter mind?

SF is sooooo nice and I'm impressed you can pull off living right there. I would love to. When I visit I walk around and look at the houses and are envious of those who live inside.

[atsleumas 3]

Thanks Ells...

Awww, well I can understand you want to save up the $$$ so you can enjoy your upcoming trip to see him soon!

Yeah, I know the baby mama/daddy drama is never good...just can't we all be grown? I just hope that we keep things into perspective...its not about me, Den, or her...its about that little innocent baby boy.

Your right Den.. its about the kid/s... My husbands ex even went so far as to say that when the kids are a bit older, shes going to tell them that their dad abandoned them and that its my fault! Can you believe that! To my face she said this... I told her that would not be wise and would risk them resenting HER.. not him, or me. Ironic part is we want his oldest to come to the states - but the crazy b*tch doesnt want that either. Its such a mess. I swear I should write a book...

I think I am a pretty nice baby mama as well.

I am civil with my daughter's dad. I try not to interact too much with him becuase I know he is an alcoholic and a liar....however.... I was also very happy when he married and step mom is awesome. We get along like me and any of my friends and my daughter LOVES her... She always made me feel safe to send my daughter to their home.

Now... they are getting a divorce. My daughter still will go visit step mom - she will always be a 2nd mom to Tierra.

Im the same way IrieCat! I love my son's step mom and happy she is in his life. Her being there for him has nothing to do with justification of me being his mother. I think a lot of people get insecure thinking the new person will replace them..... Even now as we are waiting for the NVC process to muddle on.. we are on shaky ground with his kids mom. Now that she knows hes leaving soon, she wont let him see them, wont pick up when he calls or anything. There was a sad point last week where I almost told him to just stay there and that we should call it quits. I worry about the kids and would be willing to forego my life with him if it means they will be ok. A mess I tell ya! I need a drink! wait.. its only noon here...

[JQ Smiley BOOM 3]

Girl I always do names...

Boy- Dasher Daniel- Wheeler (First name with a "D" like his daddy and the two middle names is his dad and my dad)

Girl- Leighton Onataria ( I just like the name Leighton and Ontaria is after her daddy since his middle name is Ontario)

Like Rudolfs brother

[1luv 1]

TAMH I see u typing I hope u r giving us a interview review

[Shemmy 4]

Continuing on with my baby name combos.. I want Javon if we have a boy because to me it's a combo of Jah and my hubby, Vaughn. Also the JA could be for Jamaican. At first hubby didn't like it at all, but now he is on board. Oh well time will tell. we are still a year and a half a way atleast, but as you can tell I can't wait.

Oh I also saw a girl named Jamayka which I like, but I'm not sure people would take her serious.. maybe a middle name..hmmm. OK I'm going to stop now and let the pregnant ladies discuss names. Speaking of.. Finesse any names yet????

Can you name our child? I have no idea

[DedicatedWife 4]

You're supposed to get into the mix....no worries!

There is plenty of drama in that department here so another thing you're not alone on.

So far no drama over here....knock on wood...

Just try to look at the difference your hubby can be in that little girl's life...it could be a big difference into the woman she will be molded into. So sorry the Mama is showing her rass.

[JQ Smiley BOOM 3]

Thanks Ells...

Your right Den.. its about the kid/s... My husbands ex even went so far as to say that when the kids are a bit older, shes going to tell them that their dad abandoned them and that its my fault! Can you believe that! To my face she said this... I told her that would not be wise and would risk them resenting HER.. not him, or me. Ironic part is we want his oldest to come to the states - but the crazy b*tch doesnt want that either. Its such a mess. I swear I should write a book...

Im the same way IrieCat! I love my son's step mom and happy she is in his life. Her being there for him has nothing to do with justification of me being his mother. I think a lot of people get insecure thinking the new person will replace them..... Even now as we are waiting for the NVC process to muddle on.. we are on shaky ground with his kids mom. Now that she knows hes leaving soon, she wont let him see them, wont pick up when he calls or anything. There was a sad point last week where I almost told him to just stay there and that we should call it quits. I worry about the kids and would be willing to forego my life with him if it means they will be ok. A mess I tell ya! I need a drink! wait.. its only noon here...

####### Girl Heck noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

You and him cant let her do that to you, the process is hel!!!!! so you need to keep with that and there is plenty of time to stall in between the NVC process

Dont let no one mess up your blessings

thats what I say

I have no problems with my husbands ex, she lost him and she cant stand him and he cant stand her but he goes HARD for his daughter/

[JQ Smiley BOOM 3]

Anyone heard from Love Sponge?

[Thompson2 1]

Quote each post at the bottom right of each one, then when you're ready to reply, go to the top or bottom of the forum & hit 'add reply'.

Thanks so much Ells!! I'm trying it now. Hope I'm a quick learner. I was half right. I did the quote part but then on the last one I hit reply and obviously that doesn't work. Now I see the secret is to hit add reply at the bottom.

we have our names picked out but i'm not telling

How did I know you were holding out??? Once they are born we can know??

Girl I always do names...

Boy- Dasher Daniel- Wheeler (First name with a "D" like his daddy and the two middle names is his dad and my dad)

Girl- Leighton Onataria ( I just like the name Leighton and Ontaria is after her daddy since his middle name is Ontario)

I like those names. You are set. Just have to work on making them now. I like when there is some meaning, but sometimes you just really like a name that means nothing.

[JQ Smiley BOOM 3]

Hey Ells in response to you Facebook question?

He says he dont want to go back until 2011 when we can start building on our land.

Im like thats ok, me and my girls will party

[atsleumas 3]

####### Girl Heck noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

You and him cant let her do that to you, the process is hel!!!!! so you need to keep with that and there is plenty of time to stall in between the NVC process

Dont let no one mess up your blessings

thats what I say

I have no problems with my husbands ex, she lost him and she cant stand him and he cant stand her but he goes HARD for his daughter/

Yah... i kno girl - Its a F'd up situation. He gets so down about it too cuz he is such a good daddy. Id hate to ever make him feel he has to choose between me and them. Id let him go before that happens. Dont let know one mess up your blessings!! Thats right! But why does this blessing seem so dam miserable...

[JQ Smiley BOOM 3]

Awww, it shouldnt have to be between you and the kids. If he stays because the mom dont let him see them, whos to say she will let him see them after you guys call it off. We didnt let my hubby BM know any of that info until it was time to leave because of that reason

[Thompson2 1]

First off..YAY!! I now know how to quote like a VJ pro. Watch out now.. I'm getting much more vocal on here AND I know how to quote properly..Whoa.

Can you name our child? I have no idea

LOL.. When are you due and do you know what you are having? What are you and hubby's names?

Anyone heard from Love Sponge?

I was thinking that the other day, but forgot to post.

Edited February 10, 2010 by Thompson2