Yardies a home and a farrin (Part 23)

[DedicatedWife 4]

OUCH.. this is one of those times i love metropcs..

Shout out to the Boost mobile Blackberry Curve $60 month unlimited everything!

They did that!!!

[DaDa 1]

Mrstee: I got your PM, I will send you a request when I get home.

Dada: I sent you a PM

Got it.. Thanks!!!

[DedicatedWife 4]

Den been here a little over two weeks and I know him not working is already getting to him!

[DaDa 1]

That we don't jointly pay bills. Not a cofirm believer in "our" money. Plus I didn't add him to my account...the one that I had for many years and worked to establish..that one.

A former VJer asked me how we bills pays and I broke it down...he pays cable, house phone, electric internet, 1/4 of rent, his cell phone....well he was making less than $10/ hour...I was told he pays wayyyyyyyy too many bills They would hate me now cuz he pays alot more. But these are the bills HE picked out in our agreement.

I can be here on all day about his money thing but I don't want to offend anyone. But I seen too many women passing through his thread who will not make their men responsible for household bills.

You know what Shemmy I commend you f or doing that. That is went wrong with my marriage. I took on too many bills and then by the time I spoke up hell it was to late he was accustomed too it. Never ever again.

[1luv 1]

Exactly. I think Damien helped out right away cuz he came at a time in my life when I was doing real BAD. He saw my struggles cuz I didn't hide them. He just stepped in and did his thing. Sometimes he does too much cuz he won't take much from me. I have to come up with creative ways....remember I had to leave his birthday gift in his car. If I asked him what he wanted...he would have told me to pay a bill or do something for myself.

Plus I had it very clear from the beginning that I was a single mother and my daughter comes first so he rarely asked me for anything.

I hid mine and it made it even more worst. We had a huge fight I think some of the VJ members remember and when everything came out he said he would have help me from the beginning. He said "babes whenever u need help just ask"!!

[MRStee 19]

That we don't jointly pay bills. Not a cofirm believer in "our" money. Plus I didn't add him to my account...the one that I had for many years and worked to establish..that one.

A former VJer asked me how we bills pays and I broke it down...he pays cable, house phone, electric internet, 1/4 of rent, his cell phone....well he was making less than $10/ hour...I was told he pays wayyyyyyyy too many bills They would hate me now cuz he pays alot more. But these are the bills HE picked out in our agreement.

I can be here on all day about his money thing but I don't want to offend anyone. But I seen too many women passing through his thread who will not make their men responsible for household bills.

Shem, I so feel you on this...

[dancehallquana 5]

Girl I can go on abt this too. The main reason for me to be so harsh, miserable towards him is that he did not pay ANY rent and that was eating me up. When we had our agreement I told him he did not need to pay rent cuz he made way less that me. Well was I wrong. He help to pay now and things are I can t say better but its getting there. My student loans, personal loan, CC is diminishing slowly but surely

i know its easy to feel sorry for them if they are not making much and its their first job and you just want them to enjoy thier money after all that waiting to get it..i sometimes say.. well you handling it by yourself now, why not when he get a job ??

NO SAH, i go without ALL the time.. mi tink ie ongle right mi life partna share in the brokeness along w/ me LOL

[Shemmy 4]

Girl I can go on abt this too. The main reason for me to be so harsh, miserable towards him is that he did not pay ANY rent and that was eating me up. When we had our agreement I told him he did not need to pay rent cuz he made way less that me. Well was I wrong. He help to pay now and things are I can t say better but its getting there. My student loans, personal loan, CC is diminishing slowly but surely

That's what I'm talking about. Some of these women feel the same way...they feel sorry for their men cuz they aren't making alot of money...but the women are struggling like crazy to make the ends met. While the husbands are out there partying, drinking, shopping and blowing money...home is first Homey.

When they cry to me that their husbands aren't helping their households...the first question I'll ask is "what did you do for him while he was in JA" and "what have you done for him while he was wasn't working" the answers is always "everything". Not saying you should never do for your man but I believe in limitations. Now he's working and don't feel like he should contribute cuz you got it. And don't get me started on the calls from JA.....

[jamerican 2]

Den been here a little over two weeks and I know him not working is already getting to him!

Girl, once Michael gets here he will wish for work outside of the house cause I have so many things around the house to keep him busy.... The list is forming now....!!!

[DaDa 1]

dang girl. are you on vj anymore??? lol i said it last week and bout my dad.. i will have to just give you some personal emails again, cuz you are not keeping up lil bear..

yeah, im praying i made the right decision, and roger DID NOT come willingly.. and i hate to say, but i told him i understood if he needed to go and i would help him because i love him, but i felt i would be a fool to give up the house when i can afford it to stay in an apt with him..

everyday im there im soooo glad i decided to move, he was kind of cold because he was DEVASATED.. i mean UTTERLY, but things are getting better, you should have seen them in OUR yard on the snow days, having a ball! my kids are happy and the ex has not been acting up so far..

You told your husband you understood if he decided to go? Q you were not going to choose a damn house over your hubby were you? I am so glad RG went I would have been hot at you I mean so hot I would have took the next flight down there to get you had RG done that.. . You asked a lot of him Q and it should have been a decision made together if he didn’t wanna move oh well.

Your ex isn’t showing his true colors now but just wait.. If your ex wasn’t such a A hole I would understand but he is too unpredictable. You did get the locks changed right?

[dancehallquana 5]

I hid mine and it made it even more worst. We had a huge fight I think some of the VJ members remember and when everything came out he said he would have help me from the beginning. He said "babes whenever u need help just ask"!!

i remember that 1luv, in fact i was gonna bring it up.. im glad you and hubby made it thru.. i guess its a lil embarrassing to show the real state of the union.. but girl you are proof that it will come out anyway.. the good the bad and the ugly

heck i showed him as much ugly as possible, i think i said im broke everytime we talked and his rass still wanted to marry me, thats how i knew he was for real HEEHEE

[1luv 1]

That's what I'm talking about. Some of these women feel the same way...they feel sorry for their men cuz they aren't making alot of money...but the women are struggling like crazy to make the ends met. While the husbands are out there partying, drinking, shopping and blowing money...home is first Homey.

When they cry to me that their husbands aren't helping their households...the first question I'll ask is "what did you do for him while he was in JA" and "what have you done for him while he was wasn't working" the answers is always "everything". Not saying you should never do for your man but I believe in limitations. Now he's working and don't feel like he should contribute cuz you got it. And don't get me started on the calls from JA.....

Shemanya u hit the nail on the head. It used to kill me when my rent is $1000 and he can buy new gears every paycheque. Now he knows what it feels like to have little to no money to carry over until the next pay cheque

Edited February 18, 2010 by 1luv

[JQ Smiley BOOM 3]

With the hubby and job and money situation I guess everyones different.

See in Jamaica my hubby was paying soley for his daughter, his moms house hold (her + 4 other people), his own house, and mine from time to time.

So when he got here he knew that his daughter will always be first. Then me, and then if possible you can help out family.

But like I told him last week dont feel guilty about helping nobody now because you have the money. because you were here for 3 months with no job and aint one person offer you a damnnnn dollar jamaican dollar or US.

But when he started working it was with the blessing of God and with a big boom. 2 jobs (1 full and 1 part.) and on both jobs he came in making more money than me.

So now he has a permanent job and its making more than me. So I took him off my insurance and jumped on his.

i get $200 back on my check every 2 weeks. for the insurance I canceled

and they take $75 off his check every two weeks for the both of us

I told him that we are keeping my 2 dentals off my job part and full time dental. (27$ a check)

and Im going on his dental 13$ a check (i need alot of work done )

So its like this and this in my opinion in my situation.

If they were in Jamaica and you knew about their life and what they were doing and they were taking care of responsibilities then most definitely they will do the same here.

but if they were , then you can get him to start being a man in the US.

So Jamerican, he is looking for a job momma and that says alot for any man. keep the prayer in your life and he will find the job and support him even when looking so that when he gets here he will support you.

[MRStee 19]

Exactly. I think Damien helped out right away cuz he came at a time in my life when I was doing real BAD. He saw my struggles cuz I didn't hide them. He just stepped in and did his thing. Sometimes he does too much cuz he won't take much from me. I have to come up with creative ways....remember I had to leave his birthday gift in his car. If I asked him what he wanted...he would have told me to pay a bill or do something for myself.

Plus I had it very clear from the beginning that I was a single mother and my daughter comes first so he rarely asked me for anything.

My husband is like that too. Didn't even really acknowledge his Valentine's Day gift. I bought him a bracelet and matching ring and a soccer ball.. He just mumbled.. Thank you, glory be to Jah Rastafarin..etc... etc.. No sexy party nothing!!!!

[MRStee 19]

Shout out to the Boost mobile Blackberry Curve $60 month unlimited everything!

They did that!!!

Everytime you say this, I just wanna die.. can't wait until october to get out of my contract. I am SO done with T-mobile.. Boost Mobile here I come...