talking a lot about divorce ...need advices

[Siham 0]

hello everyone !!

i feel bad to say that but me and him talking a lot about divorce because of his behavor , the way he treats me and our son (2 years and half ) me andmy son came here in december 09 , and till now i had never seen my husband caring about us !! ....(long story )

now im looking to go back to my country but before i want to knnow if there is anything the law can do for me or for my son who's citizen , and im a permanent resident !

please help me !

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Ummm......

You've only been in the US a couple of months. That's a very short amount of time to come to the conclusion that your husband doesn't care about you. Exactly what is it that you want "the law" to do for you?

The US citizen child has the right to remain in the US forever. Whether you can also remain depends on what kind of green card you've got. If your green card is "conditional", then you could lose your permanent resident status after you get divorced. Remaining married to your US citizen husband is the "condition" upon which your conditional green card is based. Normally, you and your husband have to petition to have the conditions removed within 90 days of the date your conditional green card expires. If you get divorced before that time, then you can self-petition (i.e., petition without the cooperation of your husband), but you'll need to provide evidence that you entered the marriage in good faith. You'll also need the divorce decree before the petition will be approved. Evidence of good faith marriage usually involves proof that you lived together as a married couple. You might have difficulty providing convincing evidence if you've only been in the US living with your husband for a couple of months.

If you decide to return to Morocco, and your husband is the biological father of your child, then you'll need his permission to take the child out of the US.

[Siham 0]

thank you

yesterday we took a decision to divorce but he doesm want to tell me when !!!! im affraid if hes trying to make something....i dont kow

ill start a new job tomorrow and we have just one car (his car ) , he aid he will not take me to the job !!!!

i dont know what to do ...

[Teffah 5]

How long were you married before you moved to America? And the boy is both of yours?

[CouscousApplePie 0]

CALL ME!!!!!!

[Siham 0]

How long were you married before you moved to America? And the boy is both of yours?

3 years

Kim give ur number again ill call u once i get his cellphone cus mine is a trackfone !! i lose all my minutes quick !!

[Nik+Heather 121]

3 years

Sounds to me like you would have gotten a 10 year green card when you entered.

The effect of a divorce on your immigration would now be that you have to wait 5 years to become a citizen instead of 3. If you don't intend to become a citizen at all, then there is no effect.

[Siham 0]

How long were you married before you moved to America? And the boy is both of yours?

yes its ours

how can i know if i need to remove conditions for me and my son ?

[Nik+Heather 121]

yes its ours

how can i know if i need to remove conditions for me and my son ?

If you have your green card, check it's expiration date. If it's in ~2 years, you need to remove conditions. If it's ~10 years, you don't.

If you don't have it yet, maybe your passport will have some clues (CR-1 is conditional, IR-1 is not) I don't have an immigrant visa and entry to compare it to, so I can't tell you EXACTLY where, but I'm assuming it must be indicated on there somewhere. Check the middle of the entry stamp.

[Siham 0]

oh ok , i have 10 years green card

[Ellie-and-David 38]

Ya know,

I dont want to pass judgement on you, but you really dont seem to have given your husband, yourself or your child real time to adjust to living in the USA.

My first few months here were a nightmare, we were always fighting and I felt constantly freaked out. Sometimes I would perceive my husband's stress and the sometimes volatile nature of our arguments as us not being a good match, or him not caring about me.

Turns out....me being stressed was making him stressed and he now admits that those few months were terrible for him as he just didn't know what the right thing to say or do for me was. I can now see I was difficult to live with, scared and homesick....understandable given all the things I had given up to move here.

Are you sure you want to get divorced so soon after your arrival? Maybe you should consider undertaking marriage therapy and giving yourself some real time to adjust.

There are so many people here on this website who have probably experienced the same things we did, it's just not said out loud very often and just because you are both having a hard time adjusting, doesn't neccesarily mean that your marriage is doomed to failure.

*NOTE: MY REPLY DOES NOT TAKE INTO ACCOUNT A SITUATION WHERE REAL PHYSICAL OR MENTAL ABUSE HAS TAKEN PLACE. YOU MENTION NONE AND MY REPLY WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF YOU HAD BEEN SUBJECT TO ABUSE*

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

Since you are a lawful permanent resident holding a 10-year Green Card, the divorce to your husband has no influence of your status. You can renew your Green Card in 10 years without any problems and you can become a US citizen in less than 5 years easily.

If you get divorced from your husband, there will be a divorce settlement. Basically, he will have to take care of you financially to some degree. First of all, I would advise you to talk to your husband, demanding that he either drives you to your new job and picks you up, or buys you your own car. Let him know that if he makes your life miserable, it only cost HIM more. The best solution for both of you would be if you can divorce amicably, (the term used for this is "uncontested divorce"), meaning he helps you to find a place for you and your son to live, gets you a car, and gives you a certain amount of money every month until you and your son can survive on your own. If he doesn't want that, then contact a divorce attorney and he or she will write a letter to your husband demanding those things. That's when it gets expensive, for your husband, as HE has to pay for all of this.

Once you have reached that stage, report back with an update.