Are We the Only Ones?

[andrea4prez 1]

Hi guys!!! Literally 3 weeks after I posted this message, my hubby got interviewed, Mar 16 and within a week, he was accepted. Thank God! We got lucky because, they just literally posted the ad and luckily an old friend worked there and I found him again in Facebook. He told me about position and hubby was interviewed and by my friend's reference, he was hired. It was already getting frustrating for my hubby but luckily we never gave up and God led the way. He arrived here Feb 5, 2010 and got his greencard a month after. By Mar 29 he started working a full time job that is related to IT field where he use to work in Phil. BUT! the manager who interviewed him gave him a hard when it was time for salary bargaining. they were very adamant that hubby does not have any experience in the US even if he told them he used to work for Microsoft and Linksys in the philippines. In the end, they gave him a lower salary... beggars can't be choosers, at least he is now getting work experience here in California.. So guys, keep the faith....just be patient and everything will turn out right.

we are all having a hard time with recession and everything but I know we will all get by...

don't lose hope, keep the faith...as the saying goes there's no way but UP!!!

[trillium13 84]

You all are sharing how my husband and I feel too! My husband received his GC in late March/early April and we have had no luck finding him jobs. I have a decent job, so we are paying the bills, but we have no extra money. Not to sound whiney, but I miss getting my eyebrows waxed, pedicures, random shopping, going to the movies when I want, etc. I love having my husband here, but I feel so bad for him that he can't find a job. I've done the searching with him, filled out applications together, etc. I can't imagine how hard it is on him. He just wants to feel "worthy" and feel like he's contributing to our household bills, etc.

It puts so much stress on a new marriage, and its hard not taking it out on one another. I had to tell my parents to stop asking about it, because it stressed me out to answer all their questions. I know they have the best intentions by asking. I don't even want to hang out with my friends until he gets a job. I'm hoping we will get a break sometime soon.

Good luck to the rest of you in the same boat. I hope everything works out for the best and eventually everyone will get jobs that they enjoy, with growth and career potential.

OP here. What you posted is exactly how I feel, I could say exactly all of that. Yeah we get by, but there are no extras, and no savings, no insurance, you get the picture. If one more person asks me if my husband found a job I want to punch them.

We do try hard not to take it out on each other but sometimes life gets the best of you. We work it out though. Sometimes you just need to vent it. It's very stressful, especially when others around you don't seem to be having any of the same problems.

I'm proud of us though for sticking it out, it will get better someday, and all this bullshiat just helps us to know how much we love each other.

Right now though, it sucks!

[nickandkayte 0]

OP here. What you posted is exactly how I feel, I could say exactly all of that. Yeah we get by, but there are no extras, and no savings, no insurance, you get the picture. If one more person asks me if my husband found a job I want to punch them.

We do try hard not to take it out on each other but sometimes life gets the best of you. We work it out though. Sometimes you just need to vent it. It's very stressful, especially when others around you don't seem to be having any of the same problems.

I'm proud of us though for sticking it out, it will get better someday, and all this bullshiat just helps us to know how much we love each other.

Right now though, it sucks!

I went for a interview the other day and don't have a good feeling about getting any work from that company. It's true that they don't want to check your uk experience, I think they see the words "UK" and run. Even when I gave them 4 US references for volunteering over here they don't seem to care in the slightest. I was so close to breaking down tonight, ate 3 cups of ice cream instead :-(.

I just need to post and vent really, I think my in laws think I am lazy and not applying for jobs, I apply 24/7 to every job including burger flipping. And denied for everything, my husband sees me applying for jobs and just seems to think everything is dandy....

One interview I had they didn't want my employment authorization, they wanted a green card. Even when I explained they didn't want to know.

Okay mental breakdown over....

[Ryan_and_Priscy 16]

I went for a interview the other day and don't have a good feeling about getting any work from that company. It's true that they don't want to check your uk experience, I think they see the words "UK" and run. Even when I gave them 4 US references for volunteering over here they don't seem to care in the slightest. I was so close to breaking down tonight, ate 3 cups of ice cream instead :-(.

I just need to post and vent really, I think my in laws think I am lazy and not applying for jobs, I apply 24/7 to every job including burger flipping. And denied for everything, my husband sees me applying for jobs and just seems to think everything is dandy....

One interview I had they didn't want my employment authorization, they wanted a green card. Even when I explained they didn't want to know.

Okay mental breakdown over....

They did not wanted to see your Word Auth. Card? Was it a federal job? Otherwise they must have accepted the Auth. Card because this is what you are given while you obtain your GC. Another helpful advice I would give you is to put your resume with recruiter companies, I did that and I got a job two weeks ago, finally! But still my husband is unemployed and some people have made me the "prudent" comment if he is lazy... I just laugh in their faces and I asked them if they want him to go to clean their toilets then... obviously he is still sending resumes here and there, applying for everything, now for more than a year. Blah, Blah... we are deaf for those comments.

Do not give up, you will find your job... I spent about 5 months in this job hunting, applying for nanny, housekeeper, restaurants and fast food restaurants, Home cares, translation, call centers, banks, hotels, until when we were really decided to move out of the state, a recruiter company call me and gave me a bilingual job, which I am thankful for it because I can also use my skills and talents.

Good luck and God bless you!

Edited August 2, 2010 by Ryan_and_Priscy

[Dr. Obvious 49]

It's fascinating what a difference two things can make: 1) US work experience and 2) US educational credentials. Without either, employers told my husband to forget it. So, he did for awhile. Spent a year volunteering full-time in his field, getting a few certs, and then he went back to school for his AS. He his first paying work here with a work-study job tutoring math and physics. In May, he started applying for jobs with the completion date for the AS as August. He all the sudden had zero problem getting interviews and got a decent job in his field within 3 weeks of really hitting the pavement. He just finished with his AS yesterday when the final grades posted.

If you are already teh poor, consider going back to school. My husband did his whole degree for free and then some with all the grants, work-study, and merit scholarship money he got. If you just recently joined the impoverished, FA offices generally have special circumstance forms to get around last year's information.

Edited August 4, 2010 by Wacken

[Ryan_and_Priscy 16]

It's fascinating what a difference two things can make: 1) US work experience and 2) US educational credentials. Without either, employers told my husband to forget it. So, he did for awhile. Spent a year volunteering full-time in his field, getting a few certs, and then he went back to school for his AS. He his first paying work here with a work-study job tutoring math and physics. In May, he started applying for jobs with the completion date for the AS as August. He all the sudden had zero problem getting interviews and got a decent job in his field within 3 weeks of really hitting the pavement. He just finished with his AS yesterday when the final grades posted.

If you are already teh poor, consider going back to school. My husband did his whole degree for free and then some with all the grants, work-study, and merit scholarship money he got. If you just recently joined the impoverished, FA offices generally have special circumstance forms to get around last year's information.

Congratulations to you and your husband!

Now, this case could apply to everyone? It is funny because I am the legal immigrant here and thanks to my foreign degree I am working right now (which I consider myself fortunate that somebody considered that education of mine obtained in another country as an important and worthy tool to work for them), but what about my husband who is a US born citizen and has an US degree? Maybe he should go to my home country and get his second degree there and come back... sometimes it is confusing what do employees say if that or this is better or not.

But, I would like to ask you how exactly did your husband got his degree for free? you mention also grants, work-study and merit scholarship money, I see still there is a time-money investment to which I applaud respectfully.

Still I am planning to get other associate degree and anything I can get through or I will be an small fish among the big ones. While I was unemployed I start volunteering and still I am doing it, because I like and it keeps me developing more skills in my career. That is what I also would advice to the rest here, to volunteer because that will open opportunities and maybe, the way to your career.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

Congratulations to you and your husband!

Now, this case could apply to everyone? It is funny because I am the legal immigrant here and thanks to my foreign degree I am working right now (which I consider myself fortunate that somebody considered that education of mine obtained in another country as an important and worthy tool to work for them), but what about my husband who is a US born citizen and has an US degree? Maybe he should go to my home country and get his second degree there and come back... sometimes it is confusing what do employees say if that or this is better or not.

But, I would like to ask you how exactly did your husband got his degree for free? you mention also grants, work-study and merit scholarship money, I see still there is a time-money investment to which I applaud respectfully.

Still I am planning to get other associate degree and anything I can get through or I will be an small fish among the big ones. While I was unemployed I start volunteering and still I am doing it, because I like and it keeps me developing more skills in my career. That is what I also would advice to the rest here, to volunteer because that will open opportunities and maybe, the way to your career.

Dunno, but my husband had no degree from his own country, only the equivalent of a HS diploma + a year of college (well, he actually had 5 years, but doesn't matter cuz he never finished). He had a lot of relevant work experience from over there, but it meant exactly sh*t to anyone here because they were too lazy to verify and they told him so themselves. Just his own personal experience. And then when he did what they told him to, basically re-invent himself for the US market, it worked beautifully. Go figure.

You assume with there was an economic cost to getting his degree, but he was not very employable in the first place (see above), which was why he was back in school. He ended up getting enough back in financial aid that he was really getting paid cash money to go every semester and it made little sense not to send him.

Edited August 4, 2010 by Wacken

[maxT 0]

I am in the same boat.I spent 20 years working in UK,and no matter what experience you have...it dosent count here in USA.To get a job that you really want,you either have to go to school which is the main thing here considering almost half the country have illegal immigrants,or get the right licenses or whatever is needed for the job required,I mean,i wasted my time coming here since i cant find a job anywhere myself,and can't even afford to move or nothing,there is no help for new immigrants to get anywhere for helping find a job,(except school) even schools don't give you enough money to buy yourself some candy sweets to turn up...even actually calling for jobs seem to be a problem especially if you live in the South,they just can't understand the plain english you speak,so I decided to called it a day and giving up my green card and returning home.I bet a lot of people here would like to return home too!

[trillium13 84]

even actually calling for jobs seem to be a problem especially if you live in the South,they just can't understand the plain english you speak,so I decided to called it a day and giving up my green card and returning home.I bet a lot of people here would like to return home too!

Tell me about it! I live in the South, but I'm from NY. I don't even have an "accent". I get a lot of weird looks and "whut??!?" Like I'm a furriner. Damn Yankee, they're thinking.

My husband? With his German accent? Forget it. As soon as 2 words come out of his mouth, they tune him out. Just blank stares. It's freaking ridiculous.

We went to NY a few months ago and NO ONE had trouble understanding him.

Yeah, this is one of my pet peeves.

[coldwatersurf 5]

i have been in US for over a year. I spent 5 months unemployed. it was hell. coming from 50k/year to $9/hr. i hate it. such an ego blow. talk about losing your pride. i just picked up any job i could find so we can have some money and I still keep looking for a better job that I actually want. e NOTHING!!!! it is very stressful. i've tweeked my resume so many times to make it look like im not from another country. i used to tell my husband the joke that im a canadian feeling the american depression. now its not so funny anymore. I have been in a dead end job for 1 year not to mention my 3rd dead end job since everything is either a temporary or seasonal job. i feel like im so out of the career groove, i have to start from scratch. Im finally going back to school and going into the medical field. i dont even want to be in the medical field but i feel like its the only job that can put a roof over my head and food in our mouth.

[Darnell 8,478]

you folks hanging out at yer local toastmaster guild? if not, you should !

http://www.toastmasters.org

Find a guild near you, and go. Pay to join, go to the meetings, prep yer stuff.

At some point, when you know ppl there and they know you - hey! start asking around for those unlisted job postings !!!

[Gemmie 142]

I just need to post and vent really, I think my in laws think I am lazy and not applying for jobs, I apply 24/7 to every job including burger flipping. And denied for everything, my husband sees me applying for jobs and just seems to think everything is dandy..

I can relate to this, I live with my in-laws and they just think I'm online wasting time all day or watching TV up here. It doesn't help that whenever they see me, I coincidentally happen to be on the phone to a friend back home or am watching something on YouTube as a break from the hunt. When my MIL lost her job, she had 2 offers after just three weeks. So I'm sure they think I'm not looking properly. My husband assures me they don't think I'm lazy, but who knows.... they still tell me to "just" apply to the coffee shop for $8 p/h which would be suitable if it actually paid enough for rent.

Ironically, I've been rejected by the lower jobs like bar-work, social care, retail. The responses I've gotten are from professional jobs within my field but I just can't seem to get a break vs the other candidates. Who knows if it's because I have a UK history. If that were the case, why would they want interviews?

[ajigglin 0]

first off, you guys are not alone. i know it is going to be hellish once my husband gets here. i really feel for all of you, and i am trying to mentally prepare for our very uphill battle once immigration is done.

second off, nobody will understand but you and your mate and the people in this forum. i would say just keep praying about it and pound the pavement (as it were) every single day.

none of those sites (monster, careerbuilder) has ever worked for me. every position i've ever gotten was because i knew someone who could advocate for me. maybe another suggestion for you immigrants would be to find a network of people from your home country? i know in a lot of the major cities, there are nigerian organizations divided by state, town, and tribe, so that might be a good place to start. let those people there know you are looking for work, and perhaps some of the more well established people can help out.

it's incredible that folks with degrees from other countries get sent away because of their accents. if folks from the UK are catching hell, i KNOW it's going to be far worse for Africans. i already knew it was bad, because most of the cabs i've been in have been driven by former engineers, lawyers, accountants, doctors, etc. it's really disrespectful and close-minded of employers in the states to not give people a change because they come from another country or have an accent. at the same time, people born and raised here can't get a job, either. it's a mess.

i pray that all of us and/or our significant others are able to find gainful employment soon.

[Winonan 3]

It ain't easy finding a job right now. I graduated from a US school, but being on F1 while I was in school, I couldn't work off campus (worked on campus fast food place) or do internships in my field. Now I'm trying to find job, but no one wants to hire a college graduate with no experience. Even a damn entry level job requires 1 - 2 years of experience #######.

[Laura & Kyle 16]

It ain't easy finding a job right now. I graduated from a US school, but being on F1 while I was in school, I couldn't work off campus (worked on campus fast food place) or do internships in my field. Now I'm trying to find job, but no one wants to hire a college graduate with no experience. Even a damn entry level job requires 1 - 2 years of experience #######.

I totally understand you on the frustrations of looking for an entry level job when they still will require 1-2 years of experience. How do people even get a job in that area to build experience? Who knows. My husband was beyond frustrated when filtering results to "entry-level/no experience" only to find out they really wanted 1-2 years experience.

I posted at the bottom on one of the other pages and wanted to let you know that my husband found a part time job (retail - stocking for $8/hr). Today was his first day on the job and we were so excited that he was actually going to work today. He's now thinking that he wants to do this job and in the Spring start classes for some computer certifications. He's been here since October, so this day has been a long time coming. I hope to see positive updates from others who have posted here too.