Baby Corner

[JVKn'CVO 11]

Lisa, Nick is so cute! that tie is the most adorable thing I've ever seen

Vi, Congrats on Sofia sleeping through the night! wohoo! After I stopped bfing Sebas my boobs were a little bigger for like a month or so, then...it was back to flat town The leftover milk will be reabsorbed. Keep in mind that pumping will send the message to your body to keep producing milk, so better to avoid it if you can.

Saludos,

Caro

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Hi, ladies

Happy new year! I hope everyone and the little ones are well. Like Lisa, I've been lurking. I've been too tired to post! Waaa!

Madeleine had her two-month check-up and shots yesterday. I had my mother come with me because I figured I'd burst into tears. As it turns out, Madeleine wasn't enjoying being naked in a brightly lit room and handled by a stranger, so she was already having screaming fits before the shots! Oy! She's doing fine and weighs 11.5 pounds. She's still in the 75th percentile for length, which is kinda funny because her dad and I are shorties.

**Verbosity alert!**

So...we've had a few challenges. Basically, Madeleine has been sort of micro-feeding, if that's even a term, since birth. She’s also been micro-sleeping along w/ the micro-feeding. Rather than having distinct feedings where she'll have, say, 4 or 5 oz within a half hour or so, she'll have 3 oz here, 2 oz there, then another 2 or 3 oz. "Feedings" go on for hours. She often falls asleep at the bottle and then dozes for 5 or 10 minutes. Occasionally this turns into a real nap, but more often it doesn't. It's maddening because there never seems to be a break from feeding, and when she wants to eat, she fusses big time, even if she only wants 1 oz. A vicious cycle has developed where she falls asleep because she's tired, and not sleeping for long clips because she's not quite full. I brought this up at the pediatrician's yesterday. He's a warm but old-skool and no-nonsense kind of guy. When I was explaining this, and noting that what constitutes a feeding is nebulous and she often falls asleep at the bottle, he said, "She's messing with you. She's not hungry but thinks she is." I guess I was going with the approach that I should feed her when she's hungry, but that doesn't seem to work with Miss Madeleine, at least not at this stage. He said this behavior isn't unusual, but because she's now over 10 pounds, I can "take control" of the feedings and not worry about it having any adverse effects. He said she shouldn't need to eat much more often than every four hours. So, basically I need to toughen up and stop the micro-feeding so that she'll be good and hungry (the pediatrician's words) and down a normal feeding without falling asleep. This means that she's going to throw a fit initially. I'm supposed to implement it by waiting at least a half hour to feed her when she gets the hungry fussiness going, gradually stretching the periods so that there are four hours between feedings. This is going to suck. Has anyone dealt with something similar? The doc's advice makes perfect sense, I just don't know how I'm going to deal with baby's crying. Overall, her sleep patterns are moving toward nighttime, so I'm grateful for that. But I'm so damn tired. And the burping! Oy, the burping!

But generally, things are good. Madeleine is healthy and changing every day. She's also super cute and lots of fun. Much to my husband's (mock) dismay, it looks like she might be a redhead. I have auburnish hair that used to be much redder. My brother is a redhead too, and we were both born with bright red hair. Madeleine was born with sort of sandy hair, but it's turning reddish now. I'm pretty sure the gene needs to come from both parents, so I'm enjoying telling Jon he has the "Ging" gene.

I was thinking today about the rather stark difference between what I thought I’d do as a mudduh and what I’m actually doing. It’s kinda depressing. While I was expecting, I pictured myself as a breastfeeding, babywearing, cloth-diapering mama. I work from home full time doing copyediting, and have done for the last 3 1/2 years, which I thought would facilitate this fantasy. I figured that Madeleine would be on a fairly regular sleeping schedule by three months, and I’d be copyediting gnarly manuscripts, fully rested (OK, that might be an exaggeration), while Madeleine slept contentedly beside me in the crib. I’ve since realized that there’s no way I can work and care for her simultaneously. Sooo...here I am, feeding her 100% formula (breastfeeding was a colossal and painful failure despite lactation consultants, etc.), using disposable diapers (although we’re gradually switching to Gro-Vias), and shopping around for full-time daycare. I also haven’t mastered the Sleepy Wrap, although I think I’ve finally figured out where her legs go.

Here’s a pic of her in her new swing:

She likes it more than her expression would suggest!

Is this post long enough?

[tnh9479 1]

I think the one thing all new mothers need to hear is that it never turns out like you expected. Somethings are better and Somethings are not. As for the feedings, we had the opposite problem. I had one who didn't want to eat. The ped told us we needed to force him to eat every two hours. How do you do that with a newborn? I remember one time with my mom here where we brought him to the sliding doors, stripped him down, took him out into 45 degree weather where the lawn was being mowed and a helicopter was flying directly overhead and he still would not wake up to eat. Somehow, everything works out.

[MARM 7]

Joyce: Madeleine is adorable. I think you are doing a great job and that things will work out with her eating and sleeping patterns. After all, this is what being a mother is about It's madness but you know you love it. It's what everyone is telling me, not to assume that he will magically adjust to my schedule.

[MARM 7]

Lisa, Nick is so cute! that tie is the most adorable thing I've ever seen

Totally agree! And look at that gorgeous smile!

[Eveline 9]

She's precious. What a cute baby and sorry things don't work out for you quite the way you've imagined. I think we all go through this. I remember talking to my husband before Adam was born. Eric asked me "Aren't you scared of the baby coming...aren't you worried that you don't know what to do?" and I was all confident, totally prepared and along comes Adam and I didn't want to know anything about him. My friend visited when he was four weeks old and he was crying and fussing and here she comes, rubbing his belly and he just fell asleep. I had tried everything to get him to quiet down, with moderate success. Needless to say I felt like a failure but little by little you grow into it.

As for the feeding. What did the doc say to do when you are 'taking control"? What's gonna happen in that 30 minutes that you don't feed her. Just let her cry? I don't get the pedi honestly. I know he probably means well but he's not the one having to listen to his baby crying. If she's hungry, feed her, that way she knows you're there for her. I can only bring up my yee ol 'nursing home' example again. When I'm old and I'm at the nursing home, crying for food because I'm hungry, I HOPE to god, that someone will hear me and feed me and not be annoyed or listening to some doctor who knows better than me and tells the nurse to let me fuss it out...I gotta learn to wait. No way Jose.

Do you think you can do it for another four weeks? Usually babies get better after three months. If she keeps being such a high demand baby I'd maybe try a chiropractor. Did she have a difficult birth? Maybe something got dislocated when she was born.

[Mommy2ZaidnSalma 11]

Regarding the feeding. We had the same problem with Zaid. Because he had colic the ped told me that the pains in his stomach would make him think he was hungry when he really wouldnt be. Until we saw the Ped we were feeding him every time he cried which was normally non stop and that actually was just making his belly problems worse. lol. Once we started regulating his feedings he was a MUCH happier baby. The first few days we started he would cry but we found things that would make him stop (running the vaccuum, giving him baths, turning on the blowdryer, etc) We also switched him to Nutramigen formula and that made things 100% better. Good luck, shes precious!

Edited December 31, 2010 by ZaidsMommy

[Empress of Groovy 373]

I think the one thing all new mothers need to hear is that it never turns out like you expected. Somethings are better and Somethings are not. As for the feedings, we had the opposite problem. I had one who didn't want to eat. The ped told us we needed to force him to eat every two hours. How do you do that with a newborn? I remember one time with my mom here where we brought him to the sliding doors, stripped him down, took him out into 45 degree weather where the lawn was being mowed and a helicopter was flying directly overhead and he still would not wake up to eat. Somehow, everything works out.

I know I should consider myself lucky that the problem centers on her wanting to feed all the time, versus not eating at all. I think that would stress me out terribly.

Joyce: Madeleine is adorable. I think you are doing a great job and that things will work out with her eating and sleeping patterns. After all, this is what being a mother is about It's madness but you know you love it. It's what everyone is telling me, not to assume that he will magically adjust to my schedule.

Aw, thanks.

How are you feeling, by the way? Not long now before you get to meet your little boy!

[Empress of Groovy 373]

She's precious. What a cute baby and sorry things don't work out for you quite the way you've imagined. I think we all go through this. I remember talking to my husband before Adam was born. Eric asked me "Aren't you scared of the baby coming...aren't you worried that you don't know what to do?" and I was all confident, totally prepared and along comes Adam and I didn't want to know anything about him. My friend visited when he was four weeks old and he was crying and fussing and here she comes, rubbing his belly and he just fell asleep. I had tried everything to get him to quiet down, with moderate success. Needless to say I felt like a failure but little by little you grow into it.

As for the feeding. What did the doc say to do when you are 'taking control"? What's gonna happen in that 30 minutes that you don't feed her. Just let her cry? I don't get the pedi honestly. I know he probably means well but he's not the one having to listen to his baby crying. If she's hungry, feed her, that way she knows you're there for her. I can only bring up my yee ol 'nursing home' example again. When I'm old and I'm at the nursing home, crying for food because I'm hungry, I HOPE to god, that someone will hear me and feed me and not be annoyed or listening to some doctor who knows better than me and tells the nurse to let me fuss it out...I gotta learn to wait. No way Jose.

Do you think you can do it for another four weeks? Usually babies get better after three months. If she keeps being such a high demand baby I'd maybe try a chiropractor. Did she have a difficult birth? Maybe something got dislocated when she was born.

Thanks, Eveline

The pedi didn't say to ignore her, just to delay the feeding. I asked the exact same thing when he said to give it a half hour. He just said to cuddle her, play with her, and try to distract her. I think I'm making some progress already. Yesterday, she started fussing and chewing on her hands (the classic feeding cue) about an hour and a half before her next feeding was due. She really shouldn't have been hungry that soon. I was dreading the next half hour. I distracted her as much as I could for about 10 minutes, then started rocking her w/ a pacifier. The next thing I knew, she was asleep! She slept for over an hour, and when she woke up, it was nearly time for her feeding, which she took enthusiastically, with no sign of drowsiness. I can tell a difference now between her "I'm really hungry" cry, which happens after her longest night sleep (about 4 hours), and the "I'd like a snack" cry, which is a little more whiny. This snack feeding tends to be very short and ends with her falling asleep after 1 oz. We'll see. I do think once she's eating more at a single feeding, she'll start to sleep better. In fact, I can see it happening already, knock on wood. All in all, I wouldn't say she's all that fussy, aside from the eating/sleeping thing. I'm so grateful that she doesn't have colic (again, knock on wood!).

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Regarding the feeding. We had the same problem with Zaid. Because he had colic the ped told me that the pains in his stomach would make him think he was hungry when he really wouldnt be. Until we saw the Ped we were feeding him every time he cried which was normally non stop and that actually was just making his belly problems worse. lol. Once we started regulating his feedings he was a MUCH happier baby. The first few days we started he would cry but we found things that would make him stop (running the vaccuum, giving him baths, turning on the blowdryer, etc) We also switched him to Nutramigen formula and that made things 100% better. Good luck, shes precious!

It's a weird thing, isn't it? I guess I was taking the "baby knows what she needs" approach, but that's not always the case. The pedi said it varies, but once the baby is out of the feed-on-demand newborn period and at least 10 pounds, a feeding schedule where she eats more at a single feeding should start to develop naturally. In some cases, as with Madeleine, it doesn't, and what she thinks she needs and what she actually needs differ. I suspect that this would correct itself eventually, like Eveline suggested it might after 3 months. But honestly, I'm glad to steer Madeleine toward bigger feedings because she'll feel better and fuss less--and I'll have more sanity!

I hope you're feeling well! Zaid is so cute. And your girl is due very soon?

Edited December 31, 2010 by Empress of Groovy

[Jenn! 918]

You're doing just fine, J, even if it's not exactly what you had pictured. Adam was (and still is to a large degree) similar in terms of eating and sleeping - I call him a grazer. He still drinks no more than 5 oz. of milk at a time, and no more than 3 oz. until he was over 9 months old. I got a lot of advice to try to hold him off so that he would drink more and then go longer in between feedings, but it didn't really resonate with me, so we were basically on a newborn schedule for an extended period of time. His pedi would also tell me that he should be sleeping through the night, able to go for a long stretch at bedtime without nursing, etc. He's almost 15 months now and he still is up at least once at night to nurse.

All that said, no way I could work from home while caring for him on a regular basis! I've done it on occasion when needed, but it's definitely not easy.

[Anna C. 4]

@ Joyce: Every 4 hours seems to little to me for her age from all the baby books I have read - 3 hours seems to be more the number and was recommended to us. Jona didn't eat in the beginning because of the jaundice, we had to wake him up every 3 hours to feed him (the feedings are crucial to get rid of jaundice). And he settled into the three hours even after the jaundice for a very long time (13 months, then we night-weaned).... I'd go for three hours and try different formulas. I have no experience with that, but I'm sure if you google it there will be certain brands that fussy babies do better with, or if you have a breastmilk bank, you can try that (they are non-profit, such as eats on feets).

I know the grazing and sleeping patterns must be frustrating, Jona had those too in those early months (though he didn't want to eat in between, but was fussy), but at three months on the clock it got better. Dr. Sears calls the first three months the forth trimester of pregnancy - they transition to the world outside and I found that to be very true! The baby carrier that worked for me is the Babyhawk (MaiTei style), I couldn't get the sling to work at all. It really, really helped, Jona was happy in there, and I could eat, cook, vaccuum (especially beloved activity for the white noise!!!) and the Fisher Price swing thingie we had was a lifesaver during that time. The first three months are really rough on mom and baby! I had several days when I thought holy cow I cannot do this, I don't know what to do, I don't know what he wants... It's normal, but has to be acknowledged. When Hubbie came home he strapped Jona into the Maitei and went for walks and such, which really helped (they bonded and I could sleep, eat, take a bath...)...

Someone has hiccups again... Hahaha! I'm in so much pain though... My back, my lower uterine segment, my tailbone, waeeeehhhh I just wanna cry. I also am nauseous and super uber-hungry at the same time, but only for ice cream or chocolate or pizza (hmmm baby girl seems to have an appetite here!).... Weird, I usually cannot stomach lots of that stuff. Nearly 35 weeks, it's crazy.

Edited December 31, 2010 by Anna C.

[Mommy2ZaidnSalma 11]

Anna, im SUPER nauseas too! Ive been craving something disgusting....hot dogs with onion and mustard! lol i dont think Ive eaten a hot dog my entire pregnancy and now have eaten 3 in the past 2 days lol. I still havent gained any weight so im super happy.

I was up half of last night with charley horses in my calves. It was brutal and I couldnt stop crying. I forgot how bad those suckers hurt. I ate two bananas for breakfast and drank a bunch of water, hope it helps.

I got Salmas diaper bag packed for the hospital and I think were pretty much done with buying everything we need

At my OB appt yesterday I had an US and babys estimated weight was 6lbs and she is HEAD DOWN! YAY!. Seems pretty spot on bc that would put her right around 9lbs at 40 weeks, which is what Zaid was. During the US her heart kept beating really fast though so they made me do an NST to see what was goin on. Seems she is just a super active baby. She moved during the entire test and the OB said her movements are causing her heart to race. She seemed to think it was nothing which made me happy because I was initially super freaked out.

Hoping for another happy and healthy 4-5 weeks. I am getting pretty miserable though. Lots of pressure in between my legs and pelvic pain. Oh the joys

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Thanks for all the feedback, ladies. I wouldn't be surprised if Madeleine is a grazer...she may take after her mudduh. Right now, we're shooting for more like 3-3 1/2 hours between feedings, and it seems to be working so far. She had 5 oz. earlier, which is about her limit, played for a little while, and is now dozing. I'm encouraged! The aim is to eliminate the snacking, as indicated by falling asleep at the bottle. It's this habit that she needs to shake, and the falling asleep part is what indicates that she's not actually hungry. I'm sure we'll have to have smaller feedings, like top-ups, as she gets bigger and is eating more. We don't plan on being super-rigid, because I don't imagine a draconian approach working too well either!

[Vi Mazzella 4]

Happy New Years to all my VJ Mommies! Hope you have a great year full of beautiful healthy babies, I might go for #2 this year, we will see...

This is my last time writting to you from the States, I'm going on vacation to Peru with Sofia tomorrow and coming back in one month, please wish me luck tomorrow with my flight, I'm gonna make one stop in Miami, short one but still a stop.

Caro@ thank you for the advice, to be honest I'm in pain, one of my boobies is really big, Sofia' fav, the right now, it looks funny , you say thta my body will reabsorb the milk, pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I feel like if somebody punch me on the chest.

Gotta go mommies

Take care

V